CROUCH-ING CHILD........HIDDEN ALIEN

Rainy Days & Mondays

2011-03-13T18:24:00.004-04:00

hey, that should be a song. oh, wait! i think it is. do you ever feel like bad luck follows you around like a black cloud? just sitting over your head so it can piss on you at any given moment? i don't know what i've done in my previous lives but whatever it is i think i'll pay for it as long as i exist. hubby has been laid off due to weather this winter has been brutal around here. snow started falling the first week of dec & it still hasn't quit. which means our income is cut to the barest minimum. i make ok money but its only one paycheck & i only get that 2 times a month. i hate the 2 week wait between paychecks & thats one of the great things about hubby working. not only is it extra money but he gets it every week. with sonny being in jail for christmas we went overboard to make sure the kids had a great christmas. in other words, we went broke. i can't think of another time that we completely depleted our bank account but this was special circumstances. well, hubby was called back to part time in feb. so things started looking up...till the car quit running. we have a second car, cherry the lebaron, but she wouldn't start either. all the water sitting on the roof & guess what that caused? yeah, a great big ole leak right in the middle of the kitchen ceiling. which i really don't understand cos hubby just coated the roof last summer except for that little black cloud that says if it can go wrong it will. pee, pee, poop!

later

This Love Is Just Grand

2011-02-05T14:02:00.007-05:00

sonny has really done something stupid now. in his pursuit of the ultimate love life he got caught with another woman. he not only got caught with her but he had his son with them. and not only got caught with another woman with his son but was arrested with her...also, she had major drugs on her & now he's facing charges for those drugs. apparently, neither one would tell who's drugs they were so they charged both. i have to admit....sonny isn't perfect. but this is about as close to idiotic as i've ever seen him be.
it turns out, sonny called a pizza in & left home to pick it up. on the way he stops to visit with said girlfriend. they jump in her car & continue on to pick up the pizza so sonny won't be seen with another woman in his car & she promptly speeds through town doing 50 in a 35 mph speed zone. so she gets pulled over. little did sonny know but she has a record for, god only knows what all, but apparently drug possession. so they search her car & both of them. they find drug paraphenalia on her & in a coat in her car & she won't admit to the stuff being hers so they drag them all to the police station. my grandson, people, sitting in a police station with his father while they get booked! needless to say, because there's drugs involved the child services gets called in & they visited the kids in school. jammer is as innocent as they come. he never finds anything wrong with what his daddy does. as far as he's concerned daddy is a god & can do no wrong. ix on the other hand hates her life. she hates her mother, hates her brother, hates her room, hates her school, hates her hair...you get the picture? (except i guess she doesn't hate daddy)and she knows everything...well, just ask her! anyway, back to the story at hand, so she tells them she has seen mommy & a friend snuff something up her nose & to be honest, she probably has seen something. but she ran her mommy into the ground. so honey & sonny have to have drug tests immediately and are not allowed to be alone with the kids. i think i've mentioned that sonny takes care of my step dad. so papaws appointed to be a supervisor making it possible for the kids to live in the home just not given a chance to be exposed to any drug use. i was also required to become a supervisor in the event my step dad wasn't available. he has major medical issues & occasionally winds up in the hospital. can you imagine my horror as i type this? my son is facing major drug charges, my grandkids are facing foster care & i live in a different state & would have to undergo an investigation to be awarded custody of the them that would take months. not to mention i have to stay at their house in the event papaw does wind up in the hospital. i'm not sure how this is gonna turn out but i'll be here with new updates as they come in.

later

Whats Wrong With Kids Today

2011-02-05T13:33:00.005-05:00

when we picked up the kids this weekend sonny was on a rampage. (the kids hadn't been good all week. sonny had to go to court with the kids & they ran on the steps, up & down the hallways & wouldn't sit down & behave. even sonnys lawyer got after them. how bad is it when your lawyer tries to discipline your children?) jammer came slamming out of the house saying he hated this house & he didn't want to live her anymore. well, that was the end of sonnys rope & he came after him. spanked his butt & told him to get in the car. sonny walked away to calm down & jammer realized he'd pushed too far. he started crying saying daddy didn't want to give him a kiss & hug goodbye. i called sonny over & told him to talk to his son. sonny said he didn't have anything to say. they didn't respect or love him & he was tired of trying. i said son, you never know whats going to happen. don't let us leave & your boy this upset over something. so sonny talked with jammer & they said they loved each other. jammer apologized for what he said & they said their goodbyes. that night went on as usual. the kids misbehaving & doing whatever they wanted. us begging them to behave. finally, i explained to the kids that they were going to have to earn their rights. the right to a clean bed, food, tv & respect. no toys, no games or computers. everything they had was there because we worked & strived to give them something to be proud of. she sat there & ignored me. jammer jumped up & went in to make his bed. he picked up the room & asked if there was anything else he could do to earn his keep. she sat there & ignored me. jammer aske if he could have a clementine. she sat there & ignored me. i took the book away from her cos guess what? they were my books & she hadn't done anything to deserve it. i asked her to go make her bed. she went & climbed in the bed to lay down. i said, guess what? thats my bed too. I bought it, i had my sister haul it & what did you do to deserve it? get out of my bed. she came out of the bed with this pooched out face & hard eyes staring at me. i told her she could sit in the middle of the floor & not to look at me like that. she said, 'why don't you hit me? i said not everything is about hitting. she asked again, why don't you hit me. i said i don't want to waste my time. she told me i was afraid to hit her. AFRAID? A-F-R-A-I-D? i jumped up so fast my head spun & hers? well, you can't imagine the look on her face when i grabbed her. i admit, i lost my temper. unfortunately, i didn't hurt her. i wanted to. god you don't know how bad i wanted to. she threw her hands up to protect her head & i hit her hand. i grabbed her by the hands & hanked her to her feet & said, you think i'm scared of you? you're not right little lady cos i'm far from scared of you. i'm so far from being scared to hit you that its not funny. i scared the shit out of her. then i sent her to the corner. where she's gonna stand until she apologizes. and means it. and me, i went to the bathroom & puked.
later

Pretweenness

2011-02-02T21:42:00.006-05:00

we got the grandkids last weekend & sonny asked me if i could do him a big favor. apparently, ixxie had a huge problem & needed to go to the dr. well, i took her to the dr & sure enough...after $80.00, a stool sample & a few hours of hanging out she was found to have pin worms. how in the hell she managed that i can't tell you. she said she chews on her fingernails. i think she eats poop! poop from the dogs! poop that have pin worms! where else do you find pin worms? in poop! well, since she turned up with them i've done a little researching & found out that if someone has them the eggs can be found floating in the dust. believe me when i say we have spot cleaned everything!! we. have. super. cleaned! while the dr was poking & prodding around on her she was asked if this hurt ('no'), did she have a headache ('yes, for months' stupid kid doesn't know a month from a minute) & if her glands were sore ('no, but i lose my voice every now & then...wtf?) i shook my head at the dr to express ixxies ignorance & she understood the fantasies of a child. at the same time, she was checking her ears, her throat & mentioned she has lice. again? damn, this kid is like a magnet when it comes to the lice thing. she asked about alergies & said she'd write prescriptions & beat it out the door like she was being chased, well, by a head full of lice. a few minutes later another woman came in & handed us the prescriptions & asked ixxie to open her mouth. she quickly crammed a few swabs down her throat & asked if we could hang out a few more hours (this was actually only minutes but it felt like hours) cos they thought she might have strep throat as well. of course, when it rains it pours with ix so yes, strep throat was added to her list of ailments. with a hand full of prescriptions, a head full of lice & a dying kid we headed to the pharmacy. i made her put her hat on to try & contain the itchys & begged her to stay away from as many people as she could avoid. the rest of the weekend was spent babying & medicating the most unappreciative little deva you ever want to meet. she didn't want to treat her head for the lice cos she hates the smell. she didn't want to eat cos she was starving the pin worms. she didn't want to take the medicine cos it tastes bad. omg! by the end of the weekend i wanted to shove the meds up her ass & wring her little neck! i know we all go through that age when we think we know everything but puhleeze! she's only 10. and she's not a doctor! wait, just wait till i write about her in a few years. when she really hits those teenage years. i'll be posting from the nut house but i promise you it's gonna be entertaining!

later

Look Ma! No Hands

2010-10-02T21:59:00.005-04:00

all along my route home they are adding a path along the side of the road. a bicycle path. when finished its supposed to be about 16 miles of bicycle path through cincinnati. i'm all for a path! its something we've needed for a long, long time. its about time they did something about the dangers of riding through the area. i don't ride a bike anymore! i can't stand that bicycle seat stuck up my big ass these days! (not to mention it hurts my back too. old age, ya know? i'll get my exercise on my feet, thank you very much) but i have to point out that the bicyclists these days are not very driver friendly. i'm sure their response is drivers aren't very bike friendly. although, i've yet to hear of one of them being hit because of road rage around here. i'm surprised it hasn't happened. let me tell you i have a few stories about bicyclists. how many times have you sat at a red light & had them ride right up the middle of the road between the cars? i've seen it lots of times. they ride right up to the light & are first in line when the light changes. and thats only if they wait for the light to change. they slow down the drivers that have already passed them once & now they have to deal with them all over again. getting by them. worrying about not hitting them. maintaining your composure & not yelling at them again. get the fuck out of my way, idiot! you'd think they'd take into consideration the fact that you're weilding a ton of metal that can rip their asses right off that little bike not to mention their souls right out of their bodies should they not yield to the laws of the road. weren't there chapters in the driving manuals on bike riding with traffic. those rules are there to protect both the bycyclist & the driver. from each other! they wonder why drivers hate them on the road?
shit, i got off the topic didn't i? i was telling you about this great little bike path. a few months ago i was coming home & a bicyclist was riding along, in the road, even though this part of the bike path is finished. i passed him & of course, got to the light that had turned red. so he was catching back up to me. on this particular road theres 2 lanes until you came to the light where theres a turning lane as well. so this biker is on the far right of the first lane & i was in the second lane from where he is. i heard a bang from behind me. like a fire cracker. i thought someone was throwing fire crackers at the biker. i'm sitting at the light & wondering what creep would do that when i heard another one & look in my rear view mirror to see the biker is in my lane on my right coming up between the cars. while i'm watching i see him take a lighter & light a fire cracker & throw it in front of the car next to him & cut in front of him. no hands on the handlebars. just lighting fire crackers & pitching them in front of the cars. the cars slam on their brakes cos they aren't sure what just happened & the biker is jumping in front of them to cross the lanes of traffic. with firecrackers! i think they've wasted more of my hard earned tax dollars building a bike path. this guy has his car problems under control. until a driver gets a little road rage going & takes him out....and his little firecrackers too.

later

Hitchhiker

2010-09-05T20:53:00.002-04:00

i work in a pretty bad neighborhood. i always scootch down in my seat & turn my rings around before i go through the city. this is no shit & i'm not being a wussy here. remember the big riot ordeal from the first part of 2001? they were rocking vans at stop lights & beating the shit out of strangers for the pure fun of it. not to mention all the store looting & shootings that were going on. that was right in the heart of where i work. as a matter of fact i can't tell you how many times i drove through that area wondering if i would be pulled from my car. i saw gangs of people running through the streets & they weren't friendly. some carrying bats, tire irons & bricks & that was just what i could see. god only knows what they had hidden. one day i was stopped at a stop sign when one of those groups ran right across the street in front of me. the last half of them actually stopped & looked dead at me before the person leading them called for them to come on. i nearly shit myself that day & wondered if i should continue to come to work until this was over. eventually it did calm down although the people in the area still hold a grudge. i know this too because one day my coworker, a black chic, needed a ride to a store a few blocks away & i offered to take her. while she ran in the store i waited in the car & one of the guys standing there looked at me & said 'i could shoot you'. i just looked away & prayed he decided against that but i never stopped at that store again & from then on before i took her anywhere i asked what kind of neighborhood she would have me in not to mention the places i went in with her instead of waiting in the car. so the people i work with was all really surprised at me friday when i got to work. i told them i picked up a chic on my way home the day before. i was stopped at a intersection waiting for traffic when this chic stopped at the corner to cross right in front of me. i motioned for her to go on but she said 'naw, you can go ahead'. i kinda giggled & told her i couldn't because of the traffic. she said, 'shit, then can you give me a lift'? 'where to'? she told me she just lived up the street which i knew was only 2 blocks long & dead ended into a one way street so i told her sure. she hopped in & proceeded to explain she had asthma & only had to walk a few blocks but was having trouble breathing. i agreed this wasn't the best weather to be out in with any kind of lung disease. she kinda checked me out & noticed i had cigarettes laying on my dashboard so she asked if she could have one. i gave her one & introduced myself. i mean if i'm sharing she might as well know who she's bumming off of. she told me her name was kiki but everyone called her star. by that time we were at her house. an apartment building on the far corner. she said she lived right there in number 8.
'you could stop by if you wanted but don't bring any strangers'.
'thanks, i might take you up on that'.
'do you get high', she asked.
'no, i get drug tested'.
'got an money'?
'maybe a quarter, i don't carry money on me'.
'can i get another cig'?

i gave her the pack.
'you're nice lindy, we could be friends'. and we said our goodbyes.

i killed a roach crawling up her seat in the next block. nope, that friend thing ain't gonna work for me.

Driving Ms. Lindy

2010-09-05T20:16:00.006-04:00

i pulled up to the light & a little red car came up next to me on my right. the woman was mouthing something so i rolled my window down on that side. she said, 'i just wanted to commend you on your driving etiquette'. i asked ' is that sarcasm? what did i do?' she said 'no, seriously, i've lived in this area all my life & nobody ever uses turn signals. i've been behind you for about 10 blocks & noticed you use turn signals at every corner & even when you just wanted to change lanes. its nice to know that some people still use courtesy when driving'. 'well, thank you. my husband always tells me i'm the nicest driver on the road too'.
the light changed & i started to pull forward: when she pulled right in front of me from the right turn lane AND she didn't use her turn signal to do it!
while i'm on the subject of my drive home. one of the streets i drive on my way to work is called 'chapel'. this street has a few nursing homes, a childrens home, a school, a store & a church. everyday on my way to work theres a van that parks on the side of the street & about a dozen people pour out of it. i'm assuming they're there to visit someone in the nursing home although i can't swear to it cos they park right in the middle between the nursing home & the childrens home. everyday its the same thing. in the afternoon when i come back through there is trash everywhere in that vicinty. (you'd think someone would put a garbage can right there). sometimes the people would still be there dancing, laughing, hugging or chatting. theres also a bunch of milk crates from the corner store turned upside down sitting everywhere. this has been going on everyday for the 11 years i've worked in the city. for the last 2 weeks that van hasn't been there. i'm also assuming here that this is a bad omen. i think someone died. whether its the person they visited in the home or the person driving the van i'm not sure. something has changed for that family. i've wondered alot about that family for years now. i think i miss them. makes me wish i had stopped at some point & gotten to know them. i know that sounds kind of strange but i'm a softie. i've caught myself praying for that family. i hope whatever happened it wasn't unexpected or devastating. i hope it was the easy passing of an elderly person that had a long happy life with lots of wonderful memories. i know the memories i have of them all standing around dancing & laughing is something, i'll never forget. i only hope that when i get old (assuming i live to be old) my family wants to come see me & laugh with me until i pass like that family did for whomever they visited. if i can still blog i'm gonna let you know how that turns out.
later.

ONE Half Century

2010-08-10T19:40:00.006-04:00

happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you,
you look like a monkey
and i have jock itch for you!
yep! you read that right. i've spent many, many hours in the pool with the kids this summer. something i've always done. but this year they haven't taken care of the pool like they should. lots of days when we go the water has been cloudy & the jets aren't working very well. i really didn't worry about it too much cos i was under the assumption that chlorine in the pool would mostly kill any bacteria that might be living in there. turns out i was wrong. tinea is the creepy little fungus that causes jock itch & it can appear almost anywhere on your body. living in your bathing suit apparently gives it a damp place to grow. now i know all this after reading up on what it was. you can bet i don't keep my suit on after getting out of the pool now & i don't let the kids run around in theirs anymore but can you say 'thats after the fact'? i'm also pool shy! i've only been in once since i've turned up with this & that was only cos it was so friggin hot i couldn't stand it anymore. with the temperature & the heat index combining to a riduculous 110 degrees it has just been too much! i've been itching myself raw & bathing in epsom salt & rubbing all kinds of medicines on me. i've almost reached the point of shaving myself to stop the matting from the creams &.....nevermind, we're crossing the line between 'information & too much' so i'm gonna stop here.
hubby turned 50!!! finally hit the big FIVE O. yep, and i'm agonna tell ya what: he's been a bear for almost 2 weeeks. like he's the only person in the world that hated to turn 50. pfft. puhhllleeezzzeee! i'm ready to tear his eyebrows out one by one. then i want to start on his mustache. then i'm going for the groin hairs. you have to understand! he's been horrible! the kids can't stand him, i can't stand him & he can't stand himself.
i thought for sure with the jock itch i'd get out of the birthday sex that he expects (with glee). especially that he wasn't looking forward to this birthday anyway. but alas, no such luck. he mentioned it a few days ago & i said 'you sure you want to take a chance with getting this'? he looked at me like i was a slab of meat. 'i don't have to have missionary sex, your mouth isn't broke'. 'oh, so i can give you a blow job except don't you think maybe this peeling on my hands might have something to do with the jock itch'? 'didn't you just buy latex gloves for painting'? well shit, i couldn't win so sex he got & still he was a bitch. and he didn't get jock itch either. damn, karma isn't on my side lately & i've reached the point of too much again, huh? sorry.
i'm going now.
later.

Facebooking It 24/7

2010-07-19T22:27:00.007-04:00

who all has a facebook page? i fought it forever. i avoided it like the plague. i thought it would be one of those fly by night social things like linked in, tagged, mylife, meetup, you know the ones. there's so many pages out there that tried to make it but haven't turned into anything. i did join linkedin, thinking when i received an invite from a coworker, that might be a smart business move. well one day i ran into a friend from my high school days & he had just attended a party for his brother. he invited me to be his facebook friend to see the pics he had taken at the party so i was forced to bow down to greater forces & made the damn page. its turned out to be pretty cool. i've connected with family i haven't seen in 30+ years. i've also connected with a boatload of kids i went to school with. i've seen some cool links & great pictures. i've also had lots of friends that play the games, who once they found out i was on facebook, decided it was new blood to get involved in the games. therefore i'm playing all these stupid games that take up way too much time. although i do really like the Mafia Wars game. the rest of them are just pains in the ass. i spend way too much time collecting gifts & sending them to really enjoy playing them too much. the only bad thing about Mafia Wars is to have any real power you have to have 501 members in your mafia & you have to invite them to be friends before you can accept them into your 'family'. which means you wind up with a lot of friends that you don't even know. so then you have to remember who is who so you send the right gifts to the right people. its a huge mind boggle! so i've created different groups to try & keep them all separate & then every time i add a new person or receive an invite i have to remember to add them to the right group. and if you get too many invites in a day you're screwed. you can only accept so many of each gift & a total of only so many gifts so you have to keep up with what you've accepted each day. if you accept or invite too many people in one day they can freeze you for a few days & on & on. not to mention with working all day i can't even start on facebook till after 6 when i get home. for some stupid reason the powers that be doesn't want to pay me for my time while i spend it playing games on facebook. does that sound reasonable? i let them play all day long & they make plenty of money for that. anyway, have i made my point about how aggravating this all is? i'm way too old for all this crap! not that i'm complaining. i love the shit out of facebook even though i mostly refer to it as facebroke. cos lots of time it doesn't work right & that's another aggravation for another whole post. kinda sounds like a love hate relationship, huh? or maybe i kinda sound like some kind of nut, huh? well, thats what facebook does to you.
so to get to the whole point of this post: i want to apologize for not posting more often. as you can see though, with facebook by the time i'm done with that the last thing i even have time for is blogging. plus i've already aired all my dirty laundry once & if i start all over here then i just sound like a whiner.
if you miss me & you want to check in with me in between times you can always find me on facebook. scan for lewlew57@hotmail.com in Ohio. not that i think there'd be too many lewlew's anywhere else but just to make sure you know you've narrowed your seach as much as you can & won't be too aggravated going through whatever that does bring up. at least i know you guys unlike knowing most of my mafia buddies, which i don't. so look me up. i've actually already hooked up with a few people i've met through blogspot. i'd love to see what you're up to as well.
and thanks for listening to my weirding out.
love ya'll.
later.

The Coolest Papaw In The World

2010-06-28T21:56:00.006-04:00

we took the kids to see toy story 2 last weekend. it was a cute movie & they thoroughly enjoyed it. we all did. we giggled, ewwwed, ahhed & leaned with every character at the appropiate times. the 2nd movie was the 'a-team' which i really liked too but i think that was because i thought face was really hot. the kids were bored so papaw did the only thing a papaw could do. he entertained them while i drooled. being the special papaw that he is he took them to the lobby for popcorn & wangled them a tour of the projection room. danny, the nice projectionist, explained to them how the reels worked & the light put it all up on the big screen. they ate popcorn & hung on his every word. asking questions while they drooled over his job & totally made nuisances of themselves. they declared papaw 'the bomb' when they came back to the car. i can only hope that when we die they'll have some wonderful memories of us. they love the playground at the park & we always make sure we take them over to play. there's swings that have animal bodies on them that they just love. there's only 3 of them so they have to take turns with the other kids but they snag one as often as they can. jammer was climbing on the fort & was stung twice by wasps. poor feller had to act big so he didn't cry but you could tell it really hurt. we put some medicine on it & he & papaw went to let the concession stand know they had a wasps nest on the fort. they came over & jammer showed them where they were so they could spray the nest. after that he proceeded to show all the kids the sting marks so they understood why they couldn't play on the fort. it was cute the way he was so big about it all.
of course, the end of the night turned into a big fight cos ixxie decided jammers feet touching her blanket was more than she could take. honest when that child starts having periods i'll probably have to kill her. she's too much already. i know siblings have to fight but she starts over the craziest things. i know she's just gonna get worse as she gets older. i keep wondering what GOD was thinking when he hooked that sweet little boy up with that evil little girl as siblings. he told me when he 'got bigger than her he had a lot to avenge'. honest that was his words. and honest: i don't blame him at all.
later.

Zits & Scars & Hairs, OH MY

2010-06-02T23:12:00.005-04:00

lately i've had a close brush with puberty. all over again. my face is so broke out i'm embarrassed to be seen outside. although i've spent a lot of time in the sun they seem to be getting worse all the time. not to mention when they heal they leave scars that are just hideous. so, i've invested in the 'proactive' acne plan. after receiving my box of goodies i used each product according to the instructions. for 2 days straight & since then i've been to busy to get back to it. now its a month later & i've received my 2nd shipment but i haven't hardly touched the first shipment. at this rate i'll have proactive for years to come. i still have one more shipment & 2 more payments to make.
i guess sometime in your life you revert back to puberty in so many ways. at the same time you experience the old lady syndrome too. as in: my hairs on my legs don't grow like they used to so i don't have to shave as much. at the same time my hairs on my chinny chin chin are going crazy. i refuse to shave my face! i've reverted to plucking my chin hairs instead of my eyebrows. they aren't growing so much either. after i started doing that i got this mental picture of my grandma walking around with a pair of tweezers feeling her chin. i was pretty young & i never made the connection. until now! i bout died when i realized that was what she had been doing. i am my grandma reincarnate!
later.

Graduation & Elation!

2010-06-02T23:09:00.004-04:00

the school year is over & can you say 'hooorray'? everyone passed on to the next year. jammer is so proud of himself. he made it with lots of awards & recognition documents. one of his documents claimed that he could spell over 400 words accurately. when i congratulated him on so many words he told me, 'i know a lot, memaw'. we've been working on spelling & arithmatic with them both.
ix has become what she believes to be an adult (we shopped for bra's last weekend) questioning everything you ask of her & giving you that 'hmmff' attitude. jammer is still his sweet self & i'm praying he maintains that attitude regardless of how bad ix treats him. hopefully he'll grow up to be much bigger than her for his own protection & will make her life miserable when she starts dating. he makes buddies easily. brothers can be a bitch & she hasn't learned the worst of it. he'll have her dates playing games with him instead of pawing her like she is planning. she's already told me that she can't wait to have sex which kept her from being allowed to go to the swinging rope in the woods. can't trust her & its kinda the boys hangout. i refuse to be a great grandma before my time. ya know? besides, sonny would have my ass if she got pregnant on my watch.
sonny has been building on to his home & working as much as he can. making money for paying child support & supporting his family is taking its toll. he chews his jaw a lot & looks tired all the time. i wish i could do more to help him but unless i win the lottery that ain't gonna happen.
my mom has created a facebook page. ugghh. i haven't accepted her as a friend yet. i have my dads new wife on there & i really don't want her checking on me to see what dads up to. i know thats what will happen. i know my step mom. she thinks she's smarter than the average person but she doesn't have me fooled. i've grown up with her & i know her as well as she knows herself. my new step mom is a very nice woman & she makes dad happier than i can ever remember him being. he deserves that & i'm happy for him. besides that, he actually calls me now & wants to see me & my grandkids. i don't want to do anything to screw that up.
well, enough for now. i'm going to bed.
later.

GODS' Blessing

2010-04-14T20:38:00.007-04:00

i went to an awards ceremony for the grandkids today. had to leave the house early & head in the opposite direction of work. it took me about an hour to get there. on the way i glanced down at the gas gauge & realized i was on empty. i pulled into the first gas station i came to & discovered i was missing my credit card. can you say 'oh shit'? i could. and did several times will i tore my purse apart because i couldn't even believe it wasn't there. i called hubby & asked him to look for it while i went into the store to see if i could beg some gas. i did have my checkbook with me but of course, they didn't accept checks. i explained my situation to the first girl i talked to & she sent me to a second girl who i had to go through the story with who, in turn, brought me the manager. he was very nice & agreed without any hesitation to take my check. i thanked him about a thousand times & god another million while i drove on down the road.
at the ceremony jammer was called first & received awards for exceptional math AND reading skills. he had two blue medallions draped around his neck. they also gave him certificates that read the same. ix received a blue medallion & a red medallion for exceptional reading & proficient math skills. this doesn't really surprise me cos sonny was always exceptional in both of those subjects too. he literally kicked ass in math & loved to read. i was one proud memaw! by the end of the ceremony the auditorium was jingling so loud you could barely hear anything over it.
i had told them i could't make it so jammer was so surprised to see me there that he jumped clear out of his chair & yelled. i got both video & pics of the whole thing. after it was over i kissed them both goodbye & we rubbed it in. just like we always do. you rub it into your heart & go 'poof' to make sure it gets there. some of the people around us thought it was just awful cute. i wonder how many kids will rub their kisses in tonight?
btw, did i mention hubby got a job? yahoo!!!! i've been praying for god to drop a job in his lap & there it was! a friend at work called me one day & asked if hubby still needed a job. one of her relatives has a window cleaning business & had a guy quit on him. he needed to replace him pretty quick. i told her oh hell yeah & the next day the guy stopped by to meet hubby & they chatted each other up pretty thoroughly. both loves music & had so

much in common i wondered if they would ever shut up. i don't think they have cos every day hubby comes home with so many stories he doesn't shut up till we fall asleep. and the best part? he lives right down the road from us, picks hubby up every morning & drops him off on his way home. isn't that amazing the way gods mysterious ways came through for us? i'm still thanking him every night for always being there for us. i was talking with someone yesterday & explaining how when i'm broke & so down i can't lift my head a twenty dollar bill will come rolling up & hit me on the foot. GOD IS GREAT & he blesses me every day of my life.
later.

DRIVE-IN Time!!!!

2010-04-12T20:43:00.004-04:00

i love our drive-in. its one of the few left & its only about 8 minutes from our house. this weekend we took the wild bunch to see 'how to train your dragon' & 'the clash of the titans' in 3D. we pigged out on chili coneys before we went & packed up pillows, blankets & stuffed animals to make everyone comfy. the kids sat on the hood of the car & giggled at the first movie. it was ixxies favorite & clash of the titans was jammers. who kept yelling 'awesome' throughout the movie. everyone in the cars around us got a laugh out of him. he gets a little wiry when he see fighting. you don't even want to be in the same room with him when he & pappaw start watching wrestling. and they'll kill you if you mention its all choreographed. even though they know you're telling the truth. theres a new rule at the drive-in. you have to pay $5.00 extra to bring in your own drinks & food. i can see that but they always get such a huge crowd that a few people not buying food can' t make that much of a difference. we always wind up buying popcorn & drinks. even when we brought our own. and seriously? how many people do you think lie to them about having a cooler in the trunk or food in the car? my favorite things about the night was they still have the kids playground & they still do the intermission thing with the hot dog jumping into the bun & the dancing ice creams. some things never die, ya know? at least, those are 2 things i hope they never take away.
next weekend is the big surprise. we're taking them to the aquarium. it'll be the first time hubby has been there too. we're all really looking forward to that. i've been there several times but hubby always had something else to do. i can't believe how expensive its gotten. its 22 bucks for an adult now & 14 for kids. i'm sorry but thats ridiculous. their memberships are set up for one person only. so you have to buy individual passes for everyone. isn't that kinda crazy? the 3 times i was in it was through the zoo. once was while it was being built. the other 2 times the zoo gave me free tickets. needless to say, they haven't made a lot of money off me. they'll make up for that next weekend. its gonna cost us 2 days pay to get through it. one reason is because they have it set up that you have to exit through the souviner shop. yeah, they know how to get you.
later.

Help!

2010-04-10T01:29:00.002-04:00

can anyone tell me why i can only see part of my posts? i see the top but not the bottom & i can't read my comments unless i blindly click & happen on them. its like shooting craps in the dark. whats up with that? if i were braver i would just redo my whole site but i'm chicken shit to attempt it. if you have any ideas let me know. you might want to email me though cos like i said...i can't read my comments. lewlew57@hotmail.com
later.

Profiteers Ain't Got Nothing On This One

2010-03-09T21:59:00.003-05:00

are you on a prescribed medication? one that the dr. put you on maybe cos you were just over the accepted 'safe zone'. maybe its your blood pressure or cholesterol. maybe its pfd or some other periphial defunct. jeez, maybe its just migrains. don't you just hate it that someone else has control over your staying healthy? i like to walk & i try to eat right but i guess some things we really don't have much control over. my grandmother had diabetes & my mother had lung problems. that puts me at risk for one or the other. maybe both. i'm not good with keeping up with my pills either. sue me. i forget to take them. birth control was another thing that i couldn't keep up with. i'd remember to take them for a month or two but sometimes life just gets too full & my brain forgets things. hell, i still forget to pay my insurance payment by its due date & thats something i've been doing for what now? about 20 years. but...can someone tell me how important that med is if the dr won't renew your prescription unless you make an appointment to come see them first? even though you may be out of that prescription they refuse to fill it again until you spend that friggin $25.00 for a visit. and thats if you have insurance. do you know how many people out there isn't covered by some insurance company that pays most of that dr's visit? my dr was doc holiday until he got a better offer. we had an understanding. i'd follow his orders & he'd see me once a year. with hubby not working & mine the only income dr visits are a must that i can't afford any more often then necessary. necessarily he figured he needed to see me at least once a year. necessarily my budget was fine with that. i was fine with that. since both hubby & i are on a few different meds between drs visits & medications that shit adds up. since doc holiday went to teach up & coming drs a woman dr took over his patients & let me tell you i have had more stress over this woman than anything i've ever dealt with in my life. she absolutely refuses to give me any thing more than a 3 month prescription. thats 4 visits a year & hubby is another 4 visits. that means we've gone from a reasonable $50.00 a year for the both of us to a whopping $200.00. tell me she isn't money hungry. i've explained to her that i can't afford her requests & she stubbornly insists that if i want to live i'll manage. easy for her to say she works for a profiting organization. and she makes mega bucks by making her patients come see her every 3 months. if she has 40 people a day at 7 days a week & makes us all see her every 3 months at $25.00 a wack no wonder she has the arrogance to tell me i'll manage. if i made that kind of money i could manage an island in the carribeans too. and i wouldn't mind paying her the $25.00 on top of it. i also would like to point out that if you run out of that med & you have to wait a week to see her the med is out of your system anyway. how much sense does that make? what good could that possibly be doing you? isn't it bad for you to stop something cold turkey like that? seems to me that that could bring on attack that just might kill you anyway. needless to say i'm in search of a new dr. i know, i know. two people off her list just means she takes on a few more that she can bully around but by golly it won't be me. and i'm fine with that too. if anyone living in my area knows of a good dr that at least applies common sense...see me. otherwise i'm off my meds & that doesn't make for a healthy me.
later.

Going With Rhymes

2010-02-01T22:17:00.002-05:00

we were rhyming words & hubby threw out orange. jammer immediately yelled 'moranges' to beat his sister. we giggled & looked at each other for a minute. finally, i said, 'jammer, i don't think thats a word. what does it mean?' he said, 'more oranges, its a word!' he didn't even crack a grin. he almost has me convinced.
later.

Eye Makeup Or Not

2010-01-27T20:33:00.004-05:00

american idol is back! RAY! i love this show. the courage it must take for some of these young kids to step into that room & make total asses of themselves! the strength to take the criticism that the judges deal out & the faith in themselves to reach for their dreams! i actually get all teary eyed over some of these kids & their tragedies. it seems like so many come with some terrible story. they have a special needs child that having this break will make all the difference in their life or they grew up on the streets with nobody to care about them. i don't think the back story really has a lot to do with their success. in the end its the people that choose them & by that time the stories are all but forgotten. i do tend to lean toward the under dog. you know, the ones that come in with some backstory that just tears your heart out & just barely gets past the judges but the more you listen to them the better they sound. thats who i vote for. i've really only voted a few times & i've watched every season. i vote when i think the underdog is being swamped by the one that the judges have deemed their star baby. you can always tell which one the judges want to see go to the top. throughout the show they can't seem to find anything their chosen one can do wrong & i think all that bragging sometimes is the only thing the viewers hear. for example, kris allen & adam lambert. remember them? i think kris was a much better singer than adam but with so much previous exposure & experience the judges couldn't find any fault with adam. so much glam compared to so little fluff. now that they've both put out albums i love kris' work & adams sounds just like a whiny boy toy to me. what do you want from me? pfft. please. i want a frekkin song that doesn't sound like begging someone to like you. geek.
too much to ask? i think not.
so on with the show. i'm looking forward to this season & who's life i can change forever!
later.

After The Yule Log

2009-12-25T02:17:00.002-05:00

we just got home from christmas dinner with my in-laws. had a great roast dinner with all the trimmings & exchanged gifts. the first christmas since dad passed away. it was hard on mum but she's a tough lady. the best thing is her new granddaughter, k-boo. she's a blessing. i'm not so sure mum could be so strong if it weren't for her.
i painted mats for everyone. they were a big hit. everyone bragged & compared that theirs was the best. i love the personal touch. i think it shows the true meaning of christmas to put your own touch on a gift.
we'll be doing my family on sunday so i'll post all my gifts at once.
we're picking up the kids tomorrow. they'll be opening their gifts tomorrow night.
i've been meaning to find the time between painting & shopping to tell you we got to see the twins last sunday. we all got together at my dads. man, that was a trip! my dad has mellowed so much in the years. i can't remember as a girl ever sitting on my dads lap. it was just something not done. with the twins its so different. they climbed all over him & he just loves on them. its great to see. he actually played baby dolls with them & i can honestly say i've never seen him play dolls with anyone before. i think he's probably happier than he's ever been before. i guess his new wife has been good for him.
well, got a big day planned tomorrow. i need to hit the hay.
hope everyone had a very merry christmas. be safe.
later.

Slow Motion Rewind

2009-12-16T21:41:00.002-05:00

note to farmers: i understand you need to haul your crap around from farm to farm but please! put! lights! on! your! trailers!
i had some work done on my car. turned out there was a problem with the bolts that was supposed to hold my calipar in place. like one was missing. so i had this horrible rattle going on in the front end. while the mechanic had my car i borrowed my mother-in-laws car. which really made me nervous anyway. i came to complete stops, looked both ways three times before i pulled out, kept to the speed limit & parked away from all the other cars. i was so careful. the last day i had it i was coming home & i've told you how my road is uphill with a lot of curves. not to mention its now dark when i come home. so i'm coming through the s's up the hill & i'm thinking how i'll be turning over the car in just a few minutes so i won't have to worry about something going wrong. when i came to a tight little curve. with a farm truck coming at me. the truck was in his lane. i was in my lane. the farmers trailer was also in my lane. with no lights on it so i really didn't see it until i was almost on top of the tire. the tire that was sticking out a foot from the trailer. the trailer that had no lights on it. i did manage to miss the damn trailer but i went straight to the bathroom when i got home. just to check. i did take the car home & i didn't mention that i almost wrecked it because of some stupid farm trailer. i also didn't mention that i almost shit my pants while driving the car. my mother-in-law is awesome.
later.

Games

2009-11-28T00:35:00.007-05:00

my new car is still sick. the battery light keeps coming on. hubby cleaned the cables & took the battery to have it tested. it wasn't either of those possibilties. its a 12 & 1/2 volt battery & it measures 12 volts. we took the chance & took it the 140 miles round trip to pick up the kids anyway. i miss them too much to miss another weekend. to keep the kids awake on the way home hubby started the game of naming countries beginning with a & ending with z. when we got to letter c he offered the hint 'whats above the united states'? jammer replied 'CLOUDS'. yeah, he's the smartest. don't ya just love him?
later.

Possessions

2009-11-22T01:23:00.003-05:00

how has it been 2 weeks since i last posted? how the hell have i missed so much of the last few months? i know. that evil damned facebook. i'm telling you once you start on that site its like a leach. theres no away from it. honestly its not the facebook itself. i only have like 90 friends so the wall isn't that busy. its the games associated with facebook. theres 'farmville' where you have a farm & have to plant seeds, wait for them to mature then harvest them. theres 11 different animals you have to do things to when they reach a certain maturity. everything does this anywhere from 4 hours to 4 days. you do have to check your wall to see if anyone has accomplished some ribbon or fertilized enough to offer a bonus. they share the wealth. then theres 'fishworld' that you have virtual tanks that you buy & sell fish. you decorate the tanks & visit your 'neighbors' to help maintain their tanks. you get bonus' for that too. not to mention 'mafia wars' where you fight other gang members & shake down rackets to earn money. 'yoville' where you live in an apartment that you dress to fit in & invite people to dance or box to make points. 'castle world', 'vampire wars', 'pirates', 'wizardry with harry potter', 'zoo' & jeez the list goes on & on. i didn't want to get involved with any of them but when some of my best friends begged me to join to at least gift to them. oh yeah, you can give gifts to all you neighbors. anyway, i couldn't say no to my friends. could i?
speaking of ocd...
my car has learned how to distract me too. that pretty dashboard. oh the lights. the pretty flashing lights. last night on my way home from work i stopped by the store. when i came out my car wouldn't start. after about an hour the jumper cables finally coaxed the car to a start & i jumped in & floored it towards home. about half way there, which is still 30 minutes from home, i flipped on my bright lights. see that pretty blue light that looks like a headlight? yeah, i know that light. its a calming blue but what is that yellowish orange light that says 'check engine'? i don't think thats good & theres a new bright red light i've never seen before. it kinda looks like a battery & i know that can't be good. about the time the yellowish orange light came on the teal colored mileage light came on that has only shown its retarded face about once a month since i got the car. i think its shy. now i'm beginning to think the car is possessed! maybe someone died in it & their spirit is still trying to hold onto its earthly existence. that could explain the shit going on with this car. but the facebook thing? its just a pain in the waazoo.
later.

Butterflies & Doornails

2009-11-10T22:46:00.005-05:00

did i tell you i bought a new car? its a cute litte plymouth breeze. it has 17 inch tires that look like they're about an inch thick. i mean when you hit a pot hole you have about an inch of tire between the road & the rim. as you can see by the spoiler someone has souped it up. i haven't made up my mind whether i like it or not. i thought about painting butterflies across the scoop. hubby painted it blue for me to match the writing on the car. i have put a wheel cover on the steering wheel that has butterflies on it & i want to either paint or buy seat covers with butterflies. i have big plans for her. her that i have christened 'dottie mae' after my mommy. i may even paint the name across the back. i still have cherry but she upchucked on the radiator & i'm seriously considering selling her as is. you have to reach some point where you stop dumping money in a dead doornail. (what the hell is a dead doornail?) i have to load a new photo program before i can get anymore pics in here. this stupid vista. i used the program that came with it for editing pics but now that free trial has expired & i haven't gotten around to loading photoshop. so for now this is the only reasonable sized pic i have. i guess i could have washed her before i started pasting pics of her all over the internet, huh?

later.

Our Newest Projects

2009-10-24T00:36:00.007-04:00

i've been painting on another mat. this one for my mother-in-law. its a group of her favorite flowers. i've finished the background & filled some spaces with leaves. oh shit, i'll just show ya what i've done so far. the next flower i'm gonna put on it is an iris in the bottom left corner. those few marks you see on the right are rose leaves & i'm planning on adding to them with a star gazer lily in the upper right corner. i'm thining maybe i'll fill the spots in with daisies. all the other flowers are her favs but the daisies are because i love them. oh, the top left you can't really tell what they are in the pic but those are oak leafed hydrangeas. you can see the 4 leaf flower spikes when you're actually looking at it. although, to make them more pronounced i'm gonna outline the edges in a really pale green. i've been putting it off cos i don't want to mess it up & i need to practise on the placement before i commit it to the mat. i'm thinking i need to extend the iris leaves a little too. run them up into the oak leaf. my sister, nipper, has been dropping little hints that she wants a mat too. i'm thinking of doing one of her home. it sits up on a hill & i think it'll look cool with her flowers painted behind it. its just something i'm kickin around, so far. i'm still painting on the tree on my bedroom wall. hubby says its gonna be a year before i get it finished. course, i've got the rest of my life to finish that one. oh, speaking of hubby, he's been talking about shaving his head for years now. is that just a guy thing or what? i've heard several men say they'd like to see themselves at least once bald. i guess to see if they have a weird head or what. so i'm sure you know what i'm gonna show you next.... yep, he did it for sure. we took the kids home & hubby talked sonny into shaving it for him. he's lucky cos its not an ugly head. its not all knicked up & for the most part its just smooth. where his hair was is all white so he needs some sun on it but other than that it looks pretty natural. after halloween he's gonna grow his hair back out so it'll only be for a few weeks. i think he's gonna let me paint brains spilling out for halloween. we were gonna dress with the kids as zombies but sonny decided to keep the kids for halloween & take them himself. i'm glad he's taking them. they need to spend more weekends with their kids. i know honey wants her time off but i'm gonna enjoy some time off myself. afterall, i'm the one that works all week.

last weekend we went to see my youngest b-i-l acting in sweeney todd. he played the judge & did an excellent job. my oldest b-i-l is also in a play this week. he's acting in one flew over the cuckoo's nest. i'd love to go see it but i think i'll love staying at home without the kids a lot better. so, i'm looking forward to this weekend. like i haven't looked forward to a weekend in a long time. i just hope the nice weather hangs in there.
well, gotta get ready for bed. another work day to prepare for.

later.

Booking Up My Time

2009-10-22T23:30:00.005-04:00

is anyone here on facebook? i've avoided it like the plague. until a few months ago when a school pal contacted me after a birthday party he had. he said if i created an account i could see all the photos they took at the party. there were lots of my old school pals that came to his party & i had to see who all came. i finally gave in & created an account to check out the pics. i'll be honest. i'm not sure if i'm happy or just stressed with this facebook deal. yeah, i've reconnected with a lot of school friends & its been great. but i was also invited into some games. well, for the most part i did avoid the games until one of my friends invited me to join farmville. its been pretty cool. you plant things & lots of people give you gifts. some of them animals some of them decorations for your farm. you make money by helping other people clear their farms of foxes, crows, gophers & weeds. you also get extra points when you buy things for your farm. is anyone familiar with this game? i've created a pretty cool farm but lots of times when its time to harvest my plants or tend the animals i was kinda busy with something else so i let jammer take over the farm on the weekends. man, i have a mansion & elephants & a hot air balloon!
but the little shit joined me in a lot of other games & now i'm so stressed with all the crap i'm supposed to be doing i'm kinda sorry i ever got on facebook at all. you get invites to all the events going on around town cos everyone i know is either in a play or part of a halloween happening. not to mention birthday parties & school events. i mean, cripes! its everything. so, i sign into facebook & for an entire day its nothing but answering invites & accepting gifts, replying to people i know or haven't seen for years, harvesting plants, milking cows, picking fruits, helping neighbors, building houses, planting crops, tilling grounds....i swear, it never ends. and the best part? the best part is the little shit i let help me with my farm & accepted invites to so many other games isn't here all week so i'm stuck doing it all by myself! as slow as my computer is i'm waiting for up to an hour to go from one screen to another. its a vicious circle! i'm telling you one big vicious circle! i'm ready to buy him his own computer so he can keep up with everything all week long. anyone wanna sell me another computer? its open season on what i'd do to get this shit off my back!
well, now that i've ranted, to almost my hearts content. i guess i could just ignore these things but i hate letting people down. i mean, after all, its just a game.

the one good thing that came out of it all is i got to see a bunch of cool pics! school friends that have gotten old just like me. graying & fatter than they were. its fun to see who will friend me next. so, if i'm not around here & you have a facebook account you can find me at lewlew57@hotmail.com. come on over to the frantic side!

later.

Quick Catch Up

2009-10-11T03:12:00.002-04:00

a comment on one of my last posts clued me into the fact that my comments had been turned off. (thanks tamie) sorry about that. i'm not sure how it happened. i've been reading up on how to change my background so maybe i did it when i was messing around with that.
not much new happening here. we've been taking some time away from the kids. at least at home they're out in the boonies & can't co-mingle with boys in the woods. i'm almost afraid to bring ix around & let her go out to play. i'm pretty sure sonny would kick my ass if she turned up pregnant by someone around here. i don't mean in the near future, of course, i mean in the not to far off future.
i'm hoping to learn what i need to get this background changed soon though. i'm reading up on it & learning html looks pretty easy. i'm not the luckiest person with this friggin vista operating system i'm on now. seems like everytime i go fooling around with things i mess something up. bare with me though. i'll get it.
later.

Put A Lock On Your Shit

2009-10-07T22:45:00.003-04:00

remember we went to grandparents day for ix a few weeks ago? after we had lunch remember we took her through the book fair? she gathered several books & we made her pick the one she really wanted. we had just given her & jammer each $15 bucks a few weeks before that to go to the book fair. a few days after our visit she started aggravating mom & dad that she needed another $15 bucks. sonny told her she'd already had plenty of money for the book fair & refused to give her more money. weelll, she decided better! she decided to steal a journal from the bookstore & guess what? she got caught! only by the time she was caught she had already written in the book so she had to fess up. only not before the school called sonny & let him know what she had done. this weekend I finally saw the book & checked it out. while reading through what she wrote i came across a page of 'my biggest wish' listings. want to know what ixxie's biggest wish was? grab your ass & cover the kids eyes cos this is gonna throw you for a loop!
her biggest wish was 'to have sex'! oh yeah, the next few years will definitely be a stress on my nerves. now i know why every time she leaves the yard we find her in the woods with a boy. i really wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt & believe that she didn't have a clue why it was so bad for her to be playing by herself in the woods with a little boy. one page of a diary & my hopes for a clueless little girl is out the window. yeah, she knows what she's doing. yeah, she'll be pregnant before she's 15. anyone know where i can buy a chastity belt? its either that or sew her twat shut! at nine years old i thought boys were yucky. i didn't even think about a boy in that way until i was at least 15. and my parents thought i was boy crazy. shit, they had it easy. when we were talking about it with her, jammer walked in & heard the last of the conversation. you wanna know what his biggest wish was? his biggest wish is to get a real gun! lord, help us all! i'm scared! aren't you?
later.

Long, Cold, Work Night

2009-09-23T16:38:00.002-04:00

our big black tie event is coming up again this weekend. long day. but its usually great food & maybe not good but at least entertaining music. this year its a congo theme. i've seen green & pink table umbrellas & glittery green leaves. the tent isn't as big as usual so the crowd is smaller. hopefully the auction will bring in lots of money & the computers will work this year. talk at ya later,

K-boos B-Day

2009-09-20T18:06:00.013-04:00

hubby's only niece turned 2 last week & we were invited to bring the kids to her birthday party. baby bro & his wife just bought a house & k-boo was getting a brand new swing set/fort for her birthday. although it wasn't completely put together it was enough to keep the kids entertained for hours. and entertain it did. it kept the adults busy too. k-boo isn't interested in cake so she had a carved watermelon & ice cream. she had lots of gifts to keep her busy. i was surprised that she opened one gift at a time & wanted to indulge in each one individually. she sat on mommys lap & read books as she opened them. she pulled strings & pushed buttons. it was fun to watch. child definitely has patience! she wanted to pull her shirt off & try on new clothes right there in the back yard! she was amazed with all the new things. she had received a new toy stove & refrigerator set before we even got there. one guy showed up with his dog cos he didn't have kids. we started out with 2 balls. the big one you see ix on in that top pic & a smaller kick ball. can you see this coming? yeah, within just about a half hour, of the dog & balls, both were history. the dog was wore out & the balls were busted. ce la vive! needless to say, the kids found other things to do with the busted balls. typical, you buy them a swing set & they'd rather play with the box it came in. we had a great time & the kids were invited back for a stayover. talk about a glutine for punishment!
later.

Bad Mamaw

2009-09-19T02:14:00.007-04:00

a grandparents day is set up by the kids school every year. i love to go to these things. it makes the kids feel so important. they introduce you to all their friends & teachers. they show you their work & make you a card or clay ashtray. something from their art class. you get to have lunch with them & sit with them in the auditorium for a nice chat. in other words they mostly get to show their ass for the day with no consequences.
honey mentioned on the phone that she had the invitations (made by the kids) & would bring them to us when they dropped the kids off on friday. she said the special day was on friday the 18th for both of them. these grandparents day are usually all on the same day. i think that is a protection for the teachers sanity so they only have to put up with the little heathens showing their asses one day out of the year. like thats gonna happen, right? something i wasn't made aware of: this year jammer & ixxie are in separate schools so the special day was different for each of them. jammers was actually on the day we received the invitation sealed in an envelope & he was disappointed in us. when he came in he said, 'memaw! pappaw! (with his bottom lip stuck how so far he could've tripped on it) how come you didn't come to my grandparents day? i walked into the auditorium looking for my grandparents & they weren't there! i was so disappointed'! i said 'no jammer, its next weekend'! honey handed me the invitations & sure enough jammers was that day. oh how my heart squeezed & broke right on the spot. i looked at honey & said, 'i'm pissed at you'! she did that little blink-blink thing & said, 'i really didn't know'. why? why if you dont know something do you say whatever you assume to be? why wouldn't you make sure of something before you open your unintelligent mouth? she called to let me know as soon as she got the notice but never bothered to open the damn thing to find out when it was. ix had told her she had grandparents day on the 18th & honey just took it for granted that meant both kids wthout even looking at the notices. i hugged jammer & apologized over & over. i promised him we'd do something to make it up to him. he said it was all right & patted my back making me feel that much smaller. such a big guy. i could just imagine his disbelief when he scanned that big room & truly came up with no grandparents there to participate in his big day.how his little heart must have plummeted when the realization sunk in that we really weren't there. special things like this really mean such a big thing to little guys like him. all week i thought about how disappointed my poor little jammer must have been. all week i kicked myself for not making honey open the papers to make sure. all week i just felt like such a shitty gramma. i couldn't get that picture out of my mind.
i took the day off this past friday so we could go to ixxie's school. we did lunch with her & met her friends, teachers & principal. we went to her book sale & bought her books & walked the halls of her school with her. she was in heaven. the whole time i kept thinking how jammer had missed out on all this. how here i was for my step granddaughter but i wasn't there for my own flesh & blood. don't take that wrong because i feel bad enough about thinking it. but honestly, it was tearing me up that i missed my baby boys day. i think we've done a great job making ix feel like a true part of our family. i don't believe she ever feels like she's not as loved as the rest of the kids. nobody ever says anything about her not being a true grandchild. even when we introduce the kids we never mention that she's not ours. people have told me how she looks like sonny & we never correct the assumption that she's his own child. when we met ix she was 3 years old & a very backward child. at family functions she'd crawl under a table & cry that she didn't want to be there. she didn't like being around strangers. (a stunt her mother always pulls to get out of doing things she doesn't want to do so the apple wasn't falling far from the tree) our families would all do whatever it took to make her feel comfortable. part of the gang. it took a few years but we finally pulled her out of whatever hole she had been living in. she doesn't even remember those days now. she doesn't remember that she hasn't always been a part of this loving circle of family. my sisters & brother & hubbys brothers are all her aunts & uncles. no one would have it any different. i guess i'll go to hell for it but deep down in my heart i was just dying that i was smiling at all ix's friends & teachers making her day just wonderful while jammer was sitting in his classroom with his special day behind him & the emptiness of no memories to take away from his day with his grandparents. bad memaw! bad, bad memaw! i couldn't live with myself. hubby saw the dilemma i was in. he knew how my heart was breaking that we let jammer down. he surprised even me by calling jammers school. he asked if we couldn't stop by to surprise him & bring homemade cookies. they were glad to work with us so after we finished with ix we joined jammer at lunch. when we walked into the cafateria he jumped up waving his arms like crazy & yelled, 'memaw! pappaw!' we met his friends & we met with his teacher after they were all finished, took him a book from ix's book sale, signed him out of school so he didn't have to ride the bus home & went back to collect ixxie. we made his special day even more special because it was such a surprise for us to show up.
oh, i almost forgot. when we got there his principal came out of the office to escort us to the cafateria. he shook our hands & told us 'jammer is a special little guy & a daily tickle for him'. he laughed as he told us he had a story for us. apparently, jammer had gotten busted throwing paper out of the school bus window. he was given a note to take home to mom & dad for a signature letting them know what he was in trouble for. seems that the note never was returned so the principal called mom & dad to find out why they didn't send the signed note back. the note they never received. mr. wright caught jammer in the hall that morning to ask him about the note. jammers explanation? the note was caught by a breeze coming through the bus & flew out the window! he chuckled & said, 'we get alot of stories, you know, the dog ate my homework kinda thing but he's an original. definately gives me a laugh on a regular basis'. he lowered his voice & said, 'i think he's my most favorite student ever'!
later.

Remembered

2009-09-11T22:55:00.005-04:00

we must never forget.

blessings to all the families dealing with lost love ones. blessings to the lost loves & the brave souls that are still fighting that war. later.

End Of The Line

2009-09-10T21:21:00.004-04:00

why is it through the week a half dozen things happen & i think, man this is definitely blog material! but the minute i sit down to start writing my brain just goes blank. i have to sit on it for awhile till it comes back to me.
oh snap! i remember. as i was walking to the mail room today i passed along the train route. we have a small train that takes you on a trip around the grounds. it takes about 15 or 20 minutes round trip. at the spot where it passed me was on its way over the lake. as employees we're asked to wave at the occupants as it passes us. its a thrill to the kids to wave at us. thats why i stopped on the bridge & was standing there letting it ride by me. i usually try to race it from one spot to the next cos we have these crossroad arms that drop & it seems like forever before they raise & you can cross the tracks again. so, i'm standing there waving when the end of the train comes from behind the trees & i'm thinking 'thank goodness, its gone'. but along behind the train comes 2 of the guys that had been hanging our christmas lights along the track. one is carrying an extention cord coiled around his arm. the other is lifting the end of the cord up off the tracks. turned out just before the train started over the lake the end of the extention cord bounced & wrapped around the tail of the train. the guys had jogged half way around the tracks trying to get it loose. and me without my camera. what are the chances of that? and christmas is still months away. i can't wait to see what happens next.
later.

One Fireworks Story

2009-09-07T21:44:00.003-04:00

every year, for 30 some odd years, on the first sunday of september webn puts on a fireworks show to signify the end of the summer. its always the most awesome fireworks show. it tops anything else we have all year long. the 'rossi' family are well known for their fireworks worldwide & they swear they start on it immediately afterwards for the following year. they shoot the fireworks from barges parked in the middle of the ohio river & off bridges on either side of that barge & synchronize music to the whole show. not to mention the bands & entertainment tacked on. this year they said the fireworks were actually floating in the river instead of just being shot off the barge. when i was much younger & the fireworks first started we went every year. it became a tradition for all my friends to go as a group. the more the merrier. back in the day you could bring coolers, food, blankets, chairs, dope & the family dog & cops didn't bother you. unless you got too out of control but for the most part it was just one big, cool end of summer party. with crowds numbering in the half millions & all the restrictions i don't indulge so much these days. you're not allowed to bring all that stuff & cops confisgate anything they find now. the jails fill up quickly too as a result of the policing. i'm not knocking our cities finest i'm just saying. things aren't as lax as they used to be. the year my baby sister, lucky, turned 21 i asked if she wanted to go with us when i went by to drop sonny off for the night. my mom said, 'no, my baby isn't going down to that mess! we'll just watch it on tv'. (they always showed it on tv that night & again the following saturday.) we all gathered on the floodwall as we normally did. laying blankets out with coolers on each corner to keep them in place. spraying ourselves down with bug spray to keep the mosquitos away. tossing frisbees & footballs. passing the time & preparing to lay back & watch the fireworks. just a few minutes into the fireworks & someone came running through stepping right in the middle of my comfortable spot as i oohhed & ahhed at the beautiful display going on over my head. i sat up quickly but that person was already 4 layers higher into people. damn brats, why do people bring their kids & then turn them loose? when another brat came running across the blanket. i reached up & grabbed an arm as they swung past me. the kid stopped 'let go! i have to keep up with my' & closed his mouth as he looked down & realized he was yelling at his mother. how she managed it i don't know but lucky had convinced my mother to not only let her come to the fireworks but drag my 11 year old son with her! i sat his ass down beside me & waited for my sister to come back looking for him. finally, here she came backtracking down the hill yelling 'spud! spud where are you'? 'over here', i yelled back & waved my hand in the air. her mouth was hanging open when she recognized who had her nephew & the trouble she was about to be in. 'honest lin, i promised mom we'd stay at aunt cellies & be back in an hour. please don't be mad at us'. i don't know if its my luck or her unluck that the path they chose brought them straight up the middle of my blanket. what were the chances? i was, on the other hand, glad that if sonny was gonna be at the fireworks he would at least be with me! where i could protect him. silly kids. and no, i didn't tell my mother. lucky was indebted to me for life after that one.
later.

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes

2009-09-06T00:13:00.003-04:00

who ever thought having grandkids every weekend was a good idea needs to be shot! oh yeah, that would be me. i started aggravating the very day jammer was born. stupid, stupid, stupid!
me: why have you been so mean & ugly since you got here?
jammer: memaw, i'm gonna be honest with you. my mommy fills me so full of sugar before i get here that i'm mean & ugly for days.
later.

Good Times Under The Crescent Moon

2009-09-03T22:56:00.005-04:00

once upon a time there was a man named warbo. he was a very sweet guy, younger than me but ran with our older crowd. he was short, stocky & covered in fur. honest, from the top of his head all the way down to his flat feet. this man had more hair than anyone i've ever known in my life. he looked like he wore a thick angora body sweater. i once asked him where his neck ended & his body began cos i seriously couldn't tell. he shaved his neck that night so you could tell the difference. it didn't help much. then he just looked like an angora body sweater with a beige stripe. then he shaved his beard & wow, what a difference! he had one. a face that is. i guess in his line of work things like appearance & being deemed 'human' didn't matter much to him. at least until some girly girl pointed out to him she couldn't tell if he was man or monkey.
he was a truck driver by trade. i think he drove a truck so he could have access to the very best weed you could ever find. back then making friends in our group was alot easier if you had good weed.
although i did nothing to encourage him this guy swore he was in love with me. i never felt that way about him & i know i broke his heart but when its not there you can't do much about it. i did care about him as a friend & i kept introducing him to my girlfriends hoping one of them would take the weight off my shoulders & make him fall in love with them. it just wasn't in his stars. the one girlfriend i thought would really fit the bill was a cutiepie named janie. we called her 'janie no name' cos we couldn't pronounce her last name. they knew each other for about 3 weeks when he asked her out & she said she'd love to but she didn't have anything really nice to wear so not to take her to anyplace expensive. he took her shopping & bought her an entire outfit. right down to shoes & a purse. then put her on a plane & flew her to new orleans for mardi gras for the weekend. they dated for about 6 months before he let her up for air & started introducing her to his circle of friends. unfortunately that was the end of them. she wound up marrying his best friend. i failed miserably at my matchmaking for poor warbo.
after he & janie no name split i felt really guilty so i hung with him alot for awhile. one night about a dozen of us went to red lobster for dinner. warbo, me & even janie no name with her new boyfriend all had a great time making as much noise as we could while getting drunker & drunker after our meal. we finally got kicked out of red lobster so we decided to go downtown to continue our partying. we smoked so much dope that night, not to mention all the drinking, i could barely stand up let alone walk. finally we decided to head back to our own neck of the woods. we live about an hours drive out of the city so on the way home i got this ferocious need to pee. we were only about half way home & they decided we were going farther out to a late night bar that another friend owned so we could keep on partying. i couldn't hold it to make it any further so i demanded we pull down a lane leading to the river to let me go pee. janie agreed she could stand to go too & the guys finally gave in to our demands. warbo pulled into a long dark lane that wasn't traveled much & backed in to an area that lead to a field. we didn't have much room between us & the gate leading into the field so janie veered off to the left & i went directly behind the car. as drunk as i was i figured between the fence & the car i would be safer squatting if i had something to hold on to. there was a faint red glow all around me from the taillights. i faced the fence & squatted a bit to pull my panties down & clung to the gate.
i heard the giggling from inside the car & didn't think much about it. who knows what makes men giggle? i went ahead & started taking care of my business. considering i was feeling like an overfilled water balloon i peed & peed. it felt like it was taking forever to get done. i'm sure this all happened a lot faster than it felt like but we all know being drunk tends to make your senses all go into slow motion. all of a sudden the area lite up like a football field! during half time! needless to say i was blinded & slow in moving & all of a sudden my ass felt like it was on fire. what happened, you might ask? well, seems warbo & his buddy decided they'd give us more light since it was taking us so long. he had put the car in reverse while holding his foot on the brake pedal. explains the light, right? my ass feeling on fire? when he put the car in reverse it jumped back enough that the double mufflers were sitting on my right cheek. although it took a minute hot wasn't the word for it! thanks warbo, for the memories. i could never forget you. to this day, i still have 2 crescent moon shaped scars on the right side of my ass. just in case you were wondering.
later.

What Makes Kids Tick

2009-08-29T21:00:00.004-04:00

we babysat k-bug a few weeks back for baby brother-in-law. he & his wife were in a play. they try not to do that too often but in this case the play needed one more person & asked marco to fill in. he felt obligated cos wifey was in it & he's a supportive kinda fella. the play was called 'joseph & the amazing technicolor dream coat'. hubby & i have gotten to the point that we don't attend many plays anymore. i mean these people are really into their plays & its one after another. while marco was appearing in one he was in rehearsals for 'sweeney todd'. like i said, one after another. they're great but i have to skip seeing the grandkids when i attend so i opt mostly for the grandkids. we did attend the first time marco appeared in a smaller part in 'sweeney todd'. this time he has a main character part & i would really like to see it but i'm not sure yet. yeah, i'm talking through my hat: we'll go & see him. this is too big a part. he plays the judge this time & i'm actually excited.
anyway, to entertain k-bug we took her swimming with the kids. the kids are great with her & she adores them. she was fine playing in puddles but the result of putting her in the pool kinda went like this.
we were told she'd been in pools before & loved them. i didn't get that from her reaction. i'm thinking maybe it was cos previously mommy was in with her & not planning on turning her over to uncle steiner. after mommy snuck off we headed on home. the rest of the night went ok. at some point i think the stress of being away from mommy & daddy for the week started getting to her. she'd be playing & out of the blue just walk off & start whining. when asked what was wrong she'd perk up & come back to play but i felt sorry for the baby. she's usually pretty happy & i couldn't help but pick her up & love on her every now & then.
she loves to rock.
in other news lil miss ix has decided she's too big to mind us anymore. twice today alone she's refused to answer us when called for dinner. when we asked if she heard us she said, 'i wasn't sure i heard you'. needless to say, she's being punished. oh yeah, big time! no tv for the rest of the weekend. she's dying! this kid lives for her tv & would rather sit inside watching tv then anything else you could suggest she does. course, this is the kid that says reading is a punishment. can you say mixed up? i'm at my ropes end trying to figure her out. but she will mind me. i won't give on that. we actually just got a notice in the mail that a child molester has moved into the neighborhood. this guy has been in jail before for the same thing & was released only to abuse another child. now he lives right around the corner from us. he won't have to worry about going back to jail if he does something to one of mine. i'll take care of his feed & board for the rest of his life. in a hole in my backyard. won't be any other kids that'll have to worry about him. i'm sure he won't live here long. my neighbors are pretty redneck. they won't put up with a child molester but in the mean time i'm watching mine really close.

later.

Dog Days Of Summer

2009-08-27T21:49:00.004-04:00

are we missing some people? did my home planet send a ship i didn't know about & collect all the blogging people?

no, that can't be it. someone would've emailed me. or e-ted me or something. must be summer. yeah, thats it. i know its summer cos stupid me & hubby took the kids to a fair. a whole lot of rides, freaky people with colorful hats & peircing everywhere, cotton candy, hot dogs, funnel cakes, drunks, games, people yelling at us as we passed that we couldn't knock over the milk jugs, balloons, live music, screaming kids & walking. great time. 5 hours & a whole lot of money later we got to watch some huge fireworks that everybody ewwwed & awwwwed at we got to go home & fall into the bed. honestly if i had to walk that venue one more time i was gonna die. my feet felt like i was standing on 2 inches of dead meat. it was alot of fun & i wish i had proof but i also forgot to take the camera.
i did get pics of the stitches in jammers head, well they were actually staples. they stapled hair & all. i've never seen them not clean a wound before they did the closing. i thought they'd even shave the immediate area but nope, just stapled the shit closed & sent him home. daddy took the staples out a week later. it looks fine & jammer didn't even budge when it was done. sonny said he didn't even think he noticed when he pulled them out. like teeth, sonny & honey are saving the staples. why do people do that? i actually thought saving the teeth was a stupid idea. how could you convince a kid that the tooth fairy came & left them money if you had the tooth in a flipping jar? not the same fairy i knew when i was growing up. that bitch threw my precious little teeth away as soon as they came out of my head. which was fine with me. think of all the germs on those things. then what? you gonna take them out for years to come & talk about them? remind me of the pain i went through when that sucker came out? oh look, honey, remember this was when you & sissy was wrestling & she kicked that big tooth right out of your head. oh snap! i almost forgot to mention that jammers front tooth is coming in. remember the one sissy yanked out when she dropped him into the coffee table at 2 years old? it looks like he's gonna have a big ole gap between his 2 front teeth. unless the rest push them together alot over the next few years. i'll have to get pics of that for you next weekend.
time for bed. i still need to hit the shower & figure out what to wear tomorrow. i hate that job. not like i don't have a shitload of clothes to choose from but you never know how accurate the weather people will be. do i dress for rain or the first 100 degree day of the year?

later.

Welcoming An Angel Home

2009-08-13T21:29:00.005-04:00

its been an extremely sad week in our world. a very dear man who will be sorely missed passed away on tuesday. my father-in-law lost his battle with cancer.
hubby has been reminiscing about the old days. he says he knows it was mum that sent him but it was always dad that busted him. he never got away with anything that dad didn't know about. i'm glad he finally has opened up because he's been quiet all week holding it all in.
lots of memories have been shared. lots of tears. lots of laughs. he was a loving father & a great husband. mum will be lost without him. we're all worried about her. dad always took care of the bills & the repairs. mum is strong, healthy & i'm sure she'll pull through this but we'll all be there for her.
last year dad had insisted on putting out a huge vegetable garden & this year its gone to crap. his flower garden is still going strong. its well established & it'll flourish without him for years to come but we all know where all the hard work came from to make it as beautiful as it is. hubby will go over & move things around. i know cos its what dad would have asked him to do. had him to help with if he was still able to.
i'm glad he had a chance to be a grandfather. i actually have video of him getting down on the floor to play with his granddaughter. even though it was hard for him to do he couldn't resist. she was the apple of his eye. even with ix & jammer, who wasn't his blood, he was loving. always teaching them things. holding them on his lap & talking with them.
so many memories. we're so thankful for the time we had him on this earth. thank you lord, for sharing your angel.
goodby dad, until we meet again.

The Infamous Sunset Ridge

2009-08-10T22:31:00.007-04:00

alright, i finished dads mat in a week. thats about a third of the time it took me to do moms. dads had a lot more scenery but it was all done with tapping the paintbrush. not as detailed as moms. i think it turned out ok & man, did dad love it. he's gonna hang it on his wall instead of using it as a mat. his exact words were 'nobodys walking on this, its going right up on my living room wall'. even nipper suggested i start doing canvas cos 'nobody wants to walk on the mats'. aren't they sweeties? so here's the photo i scabbed togeter. i took 4 pics of dads ridge then found a horse & printed all of them. i cut the horse out & layed him on the scene i was painting. mind you, its all freehand too. so, with no further ado:

the horse. dads ridge. notice nipper down in the corner?

i didn't paint her in it. she's not a fixture in dads backyard. really!

da dum! my mat. it looks kinda blurry & it didn't really turn out blurry at all. maybe if you click on it that'll come out clearer.

dads happy: i'm happy!

what about your thoughts?

later.

Stretching The Limits

2009-08-05T01:30:00.009-04:00

i finished moms mat & made a small plaque kinda thing to match. i thought maybe she could hang it over her door. i kicked around different things to print on the plaque like 'love grows here' or 'moms place' but i decided on these letters because at the end of all our emails we all use the letters of 'love you more than you know' or 'love you more & more everyday' or something to that effect. you can't really see the words & i wasn't gonna use the words themselves until nipper pointed out that nobody would know what it meant & it made more sense to just finish the words in smaller letters. she actually did an email up in word & sent it to me for the full effect. i think it matches pretty well & it all came out pretty good. what do you think? what you can't see is i also put a buttefly in the upper right corner of the plaque. if you click on the pic you can blow it up.
yesterday was my dads birthday & i'm working on a mat for him. he lives on what we've always called 'sunset ridge' where you walk out his backdoor & you look out over hills & hills rolling all the way to the river. its a beautiful scene & i'm trying to capture that for him. he's also big time into horses. he owns 5 right now. one is a big beautiful black stallion named 'levi' that i plan on putting right in the center of the yard. i took panoramic pictures of his place the last time i was out there. this is gonna be tougher than the mat i painted for mom. this is the center of the panoramic pictures i took. after i printed all the pictures & layed it out on my mat they fit almost perfectly to the size of the mat. all i really have to do is basically paint it pic by pic. i'm hoping to get this done by this weekend to give to dad before he leaves for the blackhills of montana on sunday. he's doing a 3 week vacation from the blackhills to bighorn on horseback. thats the hills that butch cassidy & sundance rode. terrorized, i mean. i'll post the finished work to let you compare. that is if i'm not too ashamed of it. no, i'll post it even if its not right. dads the one i want to impress. i just like showing you guys the ass i can make of myself. he's the one that'll be looking from my mat to his horizon saying what the hell was she thinking?
later

Back To School

2009-08-03T00:25:00.005-04:00

so, i'm taking a vacation week. i start on monday. oops, thats today seeing its after midnight. as usual, my vacation starts out like shit. i took my car to my mechanic to have him check out the transmission he put in on my vacation last year. its been acting funny. so what did he do? he beat the shit out of my car in about 10 minutes & blew the head gasket. of course, he's not taking responsiblity for it so now i'm out of a car for vacation. believe me when i say my mechanic is out one client. asshole. not only did i miss the 'cash for clunkers' deal but i've spent all my income tax money. shitty timing for me.
on a good note, i went to the doctor last week & my cholesterol is down, my blood pressure is good & my sugar is great! i'm gonna start my diet again. just for good measure. i wanna lose another 30 pounds & then i'll be done.
today was hubbys birthday. we took him shopping but he bought for his brother instead of himself. i tried to get him to buy some new clothes or something but he said he didn't need anything. so, i just baked him a cake & we all sang happy birthday. at least he ate the cake.
sometime this week i'm gonna attempt to change my template here. if i screw it up it may be a while before i'm back. wish me luck on that. i've read the backup info here in blogspot & i'm hoping if i screw it up i can at least return to the original. guess you'll be the first to know.
jammer starts back to school on thursday. he had to be rushed to the hospital last friday. his mother, for lack of a better term, managed to drop a bed rail on his head while he was playing his playstation. he wound up getting a few stitches. honestly, between his mom & his sister the poor kid doesn't have a chance. i'm thinking i need to invest in a bubble. i have to find some way to keep him safe. may be i should ship in off to a boarding school. i could go as a teacher so i could be with him. man, guess i better go brush up on my aerodynamics cos he's gonna need some help with that bubble thing.
later

All The Days Long

2009-07-28T21:50:00.005-04:00

man, where does the time go? i need a more exciting life to keep up with all you.

in the last 3 weeks, jammer graduated from kindergarten with a 97 out of 99 on his psat finals. i'm so tickled with him. he was awarded 7 certificates for being best in class & has a shitpile of words to learn for the first grade.

we've been swimming alot. i've also been painting. wanna see my last project? course, i'm gonna show it to you anyway. its a mat i painted on the back of a piece of linoleum for my mom. remember, i told you she divorced her current squeeze & went back to her maiden name? well, this is in celebration of that. i never looked at it really close when i was painting it. now that i look its kinda lopsided. isn't it? oh well, i'm not perfect. that just gives it more character. guess i'll use a measuring stick the next time i paint something so i get it more centered. this was all freehand. not bad for me. and the damn thing is 4 x 3 so it wasn't easy to eye. it looks better when you're looking down on it.
btw, anybody on facebook? thats something else i've been up to. i spent today adding friends. i've also been trying to talk my sis, nipper, into opening an account. she says her 19 yr. old won't let her open an account cos he doesn't want her to see what his little girlie friends are saying to him. i think i wanna spy on him. is that a bad aunt?
our county fair is going on this week & i wanna go this weekend. i start my vacation this friday. raaayyyy! i'm excited. i start my vacation with a dr.s appt. i get to meet my new dr. she's gonna wanna give me a blood test, among other things. if my cholesterol & blood pressure isn't good i'm gonna quit taking all these friggin pills. i hate pills.
we kept the kids an extra day this week. sonny had a axle on his truck go out so rather than having to take them home hubby kept them on monday. sonny works with a guy that lives right here by us & they ride together so i had him pick the kids up on his way home. jammer wasn't a happy camper by the time i got home. seems papaw pissed him off first thing by writing me a note that jammer didn't want to help in the garden. jammer ripped the note up but he pulled it out of the garbage to show me the 'mean letter papaw wrote'. the day just went completely downhill for jammer from there. he couldn't catch a high pitch when they tossed ball & they didn't get to swim long enough for him. needless to say he had a headache & wanted an ice pack for his head when i came in. a little lovin & he was fine. before he left he actually stretched his lips about a mile to kiss papaw by. he's a sweetie even when he's pissed.
time to go hit the shower. gotta a few days to get through. oh, my transmission i paid $800.00 for about a year ago is getting ready to go out. it shifts down on hills & won't shift back up. looks like this vacation is gonna be another stay at home to fix the damn thing. is it ever gonna get better?

later.

She's Back!

2009-07-06T22:13:00.006-04:00

so i'm sure you're wondering where the hell i got myself to. well, i'm hoping you were anyway.
i was just so tired of trying to do things on my slllooowwww computer. it was driving me crazy waiting for things to download. especially knowing my money was sitting there just waiting for me to decide to spend it.
yep, i finally got my new pc. its muy much faster! i finally decided on this! its screaming fast & i can do anything i want on it. only faster. actually, i already messed it up & had to restore it to an earlier date. unfortunately it was before i did all the downloads & added my own programs so i had to start over with all that. thats ok, it just gave me more practise with learning the vista program. which i need. its a mother to get used to. i've already turned off all its permission thingys. that was a total pain in the ass. i'm still learning so if you have any advise, i'm open to teachers!
everybody is doing great. my mom filed for divorce & has moved her butt to florida. she's so happy she could spit. her x is so mad he could spit too. their house has already sold. pretty amazing for the market right now. moms emailing us to see if she can give us shit instead of moving it out. she's not looking forward to all that.
i'm gonna get off here now. i still have to install my camera & speakers tonight.
hope everythings been good with you. i've missed everyone & have been catching up with blogs that i've missed out on. but look for a lot more visits, posts & comments.
later

Stressed: Facebook Explodes My Twitter And Closes My Community

2009-06-14T01:59:00.010-04:00

or something like that. who all has a facebook page? who has a myspace page? what about twitter? do y'all have trouble finding time to get on all those pages? or is it just me?

i can sign into facebook & theres so much posted that it takes all night to catch up with all those people & their lives. i mean those friggin walls are full! i just don't have the time to sign in every day & answer whatever posts have been directed at me. i'm lucky to sign into this blog once a week. some nights when i get home i just barely have time to get to everything i have to do by bedtime. even then on my way to bed i can find another half dozen things to do & by the time i actually make it to bed its an hour later. all the way through the house i'm thinking 'if i don't get to bed now i'm gonna feel like hell in the morning'. sure enough, every morning when that alarm goes off i think, holy shit, it can't be morning already. in most cases, just like tonight, its after midnight before i find time to get online & post. i'm not gonna lie: i love my sleep but i think thats because i never get enough of it!
weekends should be easy to get it all together. right? right?? not in my world. having the grandkids makes it almost more hectic than the normal week. jammer always has to go shopping cos he lost a jango or a bubba fett. or he saw something on tv that he just has to have but they don't have it at his store so we have to go to ours. or ixxie needs a fish for her aquarium but they don't have fish where they shop. they make my life a matter of life or death if they can't go somewhere. which means we spend a big portion of our days out of the house. so again, no rest for the wicked! as well as getting nothing done. i have to take a day off work to get caught up & then its only caught up for a day!!
so my point? let me show you how my body decided to rebel in its infinite wisdom:

later.

Shake, Rattle & Roll

2009-06-07T16:10:00.006-04:00

sonny called me friday morning. i knew something was up. his voice sounded shaky when he said 'mom'? he had that little boy needs his mommy voice. sonny never did use that voice much. i think being without a daddy he had to always be the big guy but over the years when he did use it i learned to recognize that something was seriously wrong. i also learned to approach it carefully or he'd just clam up & deal with whatever it was. he never wanted to be babied. only a few times did he just lay his head on my lap & cry like the baby he was. even when he was a baby. poor kid always tried to be the tough guy that everybody thought he was. when i heard that 'mom' my heart did a flip flop. he took a breath & said, 'i think i'm hurt. the truck just rolled over me. i feel ok but maybe you could come'. all my years of training from him went out the window & i naturally got loud & screamed 'oh my god, how, what happened'? he said he'd been working on the reverse whatever in the truck & guessed he knocked it into gear. it rolled down off the ramps & over his upper chest, caught a little of his ear & pushed him across the gravel. he said he grabbed the tire & literally stopped the truck from rolling but knew he had to get out from under it so he started wiggling himself free. i didn't need to hear anymore. i was off the phone & heading to my boy! i couldn't make that hour & a half drive fast enough. my mind went into several different directions at the same time. you hear about all kinds of minor little accidents that end in death & this was a fucking 3000 pound truck! i couldn't believe he didn't go straight to the hospital but his pappaw standing there telling him to tough it out was running through my head. i could just imagine him telling him how he would be fine & just shake it off. sure enough i pulled into his driveway & pappaw & a neighbor standing there watching someone under the fucking tractor with a welding torch! i said to honey as i got out of the car 'who's under there welding'? and i knew before she answered who it was. i walked up to the tractor & said, 'spud get out from under there! haven't you had enough for one day'? pappaw said, 'he'll be done in a sec. just a quick fix'. i said 'NOW! OUT'! and looked at pappaw & said 'i can't believe you'! sonny came out & looked at me like he wanted to lay his head on my lap & cry. god, he looked like hell rolled over him with a tank! he was bruised all across his chest, neck, ear & back. i took him in the house & closed the door on pappaw. that old man is gonna pay someday for his self centered, uncaring, unfeeling fucking attitude! he killed my mom & i'll never forgive him for that plus this was the second time he fucked around & let my boy get run over! those are both a whole other post. right now i was freaking out & i was pissed! i could have knocked that bastards lights out & he needed to get out of my sight right now! so anyway, i looked sonny over & checked out his pupils, made him breathe for me & lift everything. he was moving slow but he swore to me that he wasn't feeling any pressure on his chest or in his back. he explained how far it went down & it wasn't near his heart. he wasn't having trouble breathing & he was talking clearly & wasn't adle minded. i tried my best to get him to go to the hospital. he was adamant about not going though. we picked the gravel out of his back & i made him take a hot shower & we put some cream on him for sore muscles. he took a pain killer & said he was gonna just sit down & take it easy. then he told me pappaw wanted him to go out & swing a sledge hammer for something. about that time he walked in the door & i put my foot down! i was livid! i wanted to put it down on his face but i maintained. i told pappaw, as calmly as i could, he was gonna go out to his trailer & leave sonny alone. he needed to rest & make sure he wasn't hurt internally. if he couldn't cooperate with me i'd just take him to the hospital for the weekend & he would get the rest he needed there. pappaw turned red in the face but he did go away. sonny said 'thanks mom' and laid his head on my shoulder & just stood there. i hugged him as gently as i could & whispered to him to please go to the hospital if he started feeling weird or had any trouble breathing, felt any kind of pressure or light headedness. i wish he'd let me take him but if anything changed to please go right away. he promised me he would & just stood there. letting me hug him & thanking god that he was alive again.
i prayed hard this weekend, had several conversations with god & thanked him over & over.
sonny is healing ok. he was actually able to laugh about it by sunday but i bet it'll be a while before he's brave enough to get back under a car. if nothing else i know it weakened my heart & i can only imagine what it did to his. that was a helluva scare.
later.

3 Weeks Of Everything

2009-06-06T23:14:00.029-04:00

exciting things have been happening around here. you're gonna flip when i tell you everything thats happened in the last 3 weeks. thats if i can remember all the important things while i'm posting this. for starters: yaayyy! we got our big screen tv. that was a fiasco all by itself. we bought it but it wouldn't fit in the car. so, we had to find a way to get it home. once we got it home, we had bought a stand that had to be assembled (ummm, i say we but hubby would correct me & say 'we? what woman you gotta mouse in your pocket cos you didn't help me at all!) before we could set up the tv. finally at 10:30 pm the stand was together & we (and i helped!) got the tv out of the box, plugged in & turned it on only to find it was smashed across the screen. luckily our wal-mart is opened 24 hours a day so we took it back (again, i helped) & replaced it. finally, we got it home, plugged in & working great. we went with a sanyo 42' lcd hdtv that we just love! we're ready to rewatch all our 300 movies just because they have to look so much better with this huge, beautiful color tv screen we have now. i'm excited, especially, to see things like 'What Dreams May Come & 'i've been researching computers cos thats the next thing i want. if you have any suggestions for things to watch for or add ons to include, please let me know before we buy, i'd appreciate it. i have a pretty good idea what to look for but advise is always a good idea. i have 2 ide hard drives from this computer that i'd like to be able to use so i know i need at least 2 ide connections inside, plus i have a printer that i want to use & a scanner so i'm hoping to find at least something that will make that all possible. those are just some of the things i know to take into consideration but if you have any other ideas they would be helpful while shopping.
ix had her 9th birthday. a party was necessary. and shopping! lots of shopping!
something else we were looking for was a set of new bunk beds to get the kids in one room together. i hated the look of every bunk bed i looked at until i saw this:

the cutest idea i saw for a way to put both kids in one room. ix gets the top cos jammer has a tendency to roll out of bed. at 5 1/2 feet off the floor i couldn't take the chance of him rolling out & knocking himself silly so it was a no brainer. he wasn't real happy with the decision until he discovered the bottom opened up into a full size bed. that made him happy cos it gives him more room to spread his men out when he's setting up his 'quarters' for his star wars guys, along with his gi joes & cobras. everyone has a different corner & never have to encounter each other unless he so deems. don't you think thats an awesome bunk bed? i just love it. ixxie is beside herself. she got to sleep in the top last night & said it was the best nights sleep she's ever had. imagine that!! a brand new bed makes her old mattress heaven. we didn't have to replace the mattress cos her old twin mattress fit just right. but hey, as long as she's happy, i'm happy.
i've been painting different things around the house. did i show you my closet doors? i'll add them here just in case. i've been watching the 'one stroke painting' shows for years. i've always loved them so i finally decided to start using the knowledge i had accumulated. i love the one stroke painting technique. i've seen so many flowers & roses that i can do them in my sleep. so, i finally decided to start applying what i've learned & this was my first attempt. while i painted the front i let the kids paint their version of flowers on the back & they turned out so cute that i wished i'd let them paint something on the front. i think we're gonna do rocks instead. that way their art can be seen too. also, i always have my own private paintings on the inside of my doors. the great thing about the doors is i can take them with me wherever go. i got a pamphlet from my library & one of the pics on that was a frog. well, one of the pics i want to do is a scene on my bathtub that includes a frog. i decided to use the frog on the pamphlet as my model & it looks so cute. so far i've painted the mushroom he sits on. i've practised the frog on paper but i haven't applied it to a permanent spot yet. here is my mushroom with a pic of the frog: no my mushroom isn't exact but thats the beauty of painting. your perspective is what ever you see. after a few more shows i've actually caught on to a better way to make grass & i'll be improving on my practise shrums soon. when i'm finished practising i'll let y'all see it.
and for a grand finale'. my owls that i just finished painting. they were just plain ole black tin owls & i embellished on them. what do you think? i wished i'd taken a pic before i painted them.
anyway, thats been my preoccupation for the last three weeks. oh, and my tree in my bedroom. i started by scruffying the background & then i started painting my tree & leaves. i want it to look like its blowing in the wind. after that i'm gonna do just little vines with leaves around the walls here & there. it'll look so cute when i'm done.

so, any comments? later.

The Office

2009-05-17T21:33:00.005-04:00

if you've been wondering, this is whats up in my world. we've been building on this for about a year now. honestly, i wasn't sure it would ever be done. they started talking about all this 6 years ago but had to acquire the funds first. once the powers that be got the notion they wanted to reopen the old entrance it was on. we've made a lot of budget cuts & talked up alot of sponsers but viola': there it is. and the best part about all of it?
MY NEW OFFICE : right there... where the arrow points. thats my window. that turret on the left is over my shoulder & supplies so much light that the auto lights in my office kicks off cos it can't see me moving. there's a small table for conferences right there & i have the printer over my left shoulder. its all so convenient & wonderful & beautiful & new!!! the turret on the right is a huge kitchenette/conference room & all the space in between is storage. we have our own bathroom that i don't have to work my way through members to get to so they won't ever know again when i have to 'go'. its air conditioned & it works! unlike the heating/air conditioning in the old office that you could never get right. i just love it. i feel like a queen. and for my new office i'm getting a new do. remember i started buying new clothes last week? ahhhhh, i'm living the good life.

later.

What A Small World

2009-05-15T23:42:00.003-04:00

i got a wild hair & called nipper this week. usually we just email but i wanted to hear her voice. i miss my sissy & she's a great person. i think its something to do with being at the hospital. it makes me want to reach out & touch my family. she's been as busy as a one armed paper hanger since her company cut back on staff. don't you hate that they can add 7 jobs to your job description when they do their money saving cutbacks? she was telling me she went to an
appalacian festival on sunday. while perusing the crafts she noticed a booth that spouted owsley county quilts & recipes. my dad is from owsley county so she stopped in & was looking through the crafts offered by the little old lady that ran the booth. finally the lady walked up to her & asked if she could help her. nipper was reading her recipe book & i think she thought nipper was memorizing them. she is pretty frugal like that. nipper told her no she was just reading
her book because her dad was from owsley county. the woman perked her little ears & asked nipper who her daddy was. afterall, we're talking about a population of less than 5000 & this old lady was older than dust. so nipper told her she didn't know for sure who her daddy was but he was supposed to be pt from owsley county. (nipper didn't really say that but we got a big laugh out of the thought) well, lo & behold the old lady did know daddy. as a matter of fact she turned out to be his 2nd cousin twice removed. how does that happen? like i said, its a little county & i swear i think everyone is related to each other one way or another. turns out lucy mays, the little old lady, has heard of us. apparently, she is still in touch with my aunt, daddys sister, who talks about pt's 'girls' all the time. my aunt does love us. nipper & i are the only two that visits her regularly. she's the greatest aunt in the world. you can't leave her house without an armload of goodies. last time hubby & i were there she tried to give us boxes of canned food. back to lucy mays, she does her crafts while chatting with the women folk of the county & advised nipper that its time for us to visit with our aunt again. she misses us & her health is failing. a few years back she was diagnosed with diabetes & has to take insulin. we did know that & we got one up on ol lucy mays cos she didn't know my uncle is also diabetic. after lucy mays filled nipper in on her family she hugged her newfound cousin goodby as she removed the recipe book from her hands. it really is such a small world after all.
later.

Belated Mothers Day

2009-05-11T21:02:00.003-04:00

i forgot to post for mothers day. damn, i'm a bad blogger. how do you forget to post for something as important as mothers day? and i'm a mother! mother fucking poor excuse of a mother if you ask me. not that i forgot my mom on mothers day or my mother in law for that matter. but i forgot all of Y-O-U. so, happy belated mothers day from one sorry piece of shit for an excuse of a friend. i hope you all had a wonderful mothers day, received fabulous gifts & fountains of lovings from all of your children. i hope god granted you sunshine & rainbows & your husbands flourished you with love & praise for all your worth. and that goes for dads that are mothers too. only i hope women on you, literally.
later.

Life Is Truly Precious

2009-05-09T02:54:00.008-04:00

we had gone shopping over the weekend. we needed oil & antifreeze for the car so we wound up at walmart. while we were there hubby mentioned that i needed some summer clothes so i might as well shop to see if i could find anything i wanted while we were there. i know! i couldn't believe it either but i definitely jumped on the offer. that he was in the mood to wait around & actually let me shop made me suspicious but damn, i went for it all the same. i found 3 pairs of slacks that i liked & one top. when i got home i tried them on again & we (he was the one that convinced me) decided they were really too big & i needed to get a smaller size. (yeah for me) on monday we decided to exchange them so as soon as i got in from work off we went.
the phone was ringing when we walked back in. hubby's dad had fallen & nobody could get him up (mum is a little tiny woman & baby bro, the painter, isn't much bigger) remember dad has been diagnosed with cancer & is in the advanced stages of the disease. so we waited on him until he was ready & as soon as he was up to it hubby & i raised him to his walker. he made it to his chair to sit for awhile but he wasn't feeling right. mum talked him into agreeing that he needed to go to the hospital so we carefully walked him to the car. mum called right after they arrived & reported that dad had suffered a mild heart attack sometime that day & a full blown seizure as soon as they arrived at the hospital. he was stabilized but they were keeping him for the night. little did we know that this was the beginning of a nightmare. tuesday night dad suffered another heart attack. this one was much more damaging & he's now left with only 15% of his heart functioning. he actually died. his heart had stopped beating & he wasn't breathing. it took them a half hour to bring him back & his ekg wasn't show much brain activity. they didn't have much hope. they had him pretty doped up & by morning he was holding his own. his brain activity was picking up & he seemed to be fighting with all his might. he woke up finally on thursday with hubby there by his side. he tried to communicate as best he could. what hubby got from it was dad wanted him to yank him off all the connections to go smoke a cigarette. nothng like pounding a few more nails in your coffin. he's been so doped up that he mostly slept through the next few days. friday night the hospital staff called & his heart rate was up somewhere near 19o beats per minute. it should be around 80. they had the crash cart in his room waiting for something to happen. it finally settled down on its own but they've kept the cart in his room just in case. finally sunday mum called & dad was awake & for the first time was asking where he was & why. he didn't have any recollection of the last week. today they are talking about letting him go home in the next few weeks. he's off the ventilation machine but his heart is still too weak for much. i don't think we'll have him for much longer on this earth.
later.

Offerings

2009-04-20T21:37:00.003-04:00

hey all, i'm a bad blogger. how many times have i told you that? but i am so sorry i haven't been around. i think i've missed some important events & maybe hurt some feelings. its not cos i don't love ya'all. its truly money burning a hole in my pocket. this old pc of mine is so slow. it just takes forever for some blogs to load & god forbid i want to watch an utube video. i have to wait forever & let it run through once or all i get is bits & pieces. i want a new computer so bad i can taste it. i've been shopping for one that is worth my money. i'm not rich so when i got hold of an extra $500.00 all i could think was this is my chance. i have to watch sales & pick the right one cos its gonna have to last the rest of my life. pretty soon i'm hoping to find the perfect pc just for me. something else i'm gonna have to do is go for faster internet connection. one of the things i have done in the last week is visit my library. i want to know about networking & setting that up. its something i'm completely stupid about. you know, my library doesn't have a networking for dummies book. i did get a few networking books but those are so easy to learn from. i was disappointed. i've also been trying to do some redecorating in the house. which hasn't been easy with working every day & having the kids on the weekends. i just don't have enough time to get everything i want done in a day. we finally did get everything back in the bedroom & the curtains made & up. i had to wait for a paycheck to get the ceiling paint which we finally got last weekend. i have to rely on hubby to do that cos i (a. can't reach (b. can't paint (c. have to work.
so, i promise i'll be back with a vengeance once i get all this shit together. just be patient with me. in the meantime, i've found a few things i think might make up for both my lack of posting & visiting. this is one i think some of ya'll will love & this is one i just love . check them out & let me know what you think.
later.

Greetings

2009-04-12T19:57:00.004-04:00

'Happy Easter' everyone! even without the kids we still did the ham & potatoes along with the boiled eggs. i just didn't color them. but it was a good lazy day & ms. m is tickled pink with her bone.
hope ya'all had a great day, too.

later.

Paying The Piper

2009-04-10T22:00:00.005-04:00

even though there's soon to be a lawsuit regarding the twins i emailed mojo to request she meet with me to give the twin xmas gifts that they still have to get. isn't it awful that she won't let us even give them the gifts we bought for them? of course, (and i didn't expect anything different) she never responded. BEYOTCH!! but soon, i just need to be patient. not my best quality i assure you. but i'm doing my best 'hang in there' impersonation. i miss my girls so much. the only way i get to see them is by visiting her 'my space' page. she posts new pics occasionally & i get to see their smiling faces there. i guess if she knew i had her page saved she'd probably quit posting there. and just to reiterate again: BEYOTCH! i can only hope someday someone takes a loved one away from her & refuses to even acknowledge her existence in their life. paybacks are a mother fucker & i hope she gets hers. of course, pretty soon sonny will be socking it to her so i guess i shouldn't feel this way. but not getting to see my granddaughters is really taking its toll on me.
the devils gonna take me to hell for the way i feel about her.
its easter weekend. i called about the kids today & honey informed me that her dad was having an easter party & they were taking the kids to him this weekend. that really ticks me off too. i can't tell you how many times i've been told how honey hates her father. he's never been there for her & he hates my son. i just don't get it. the less you do for them the more they love you? the thing that really pisses me off about this is they didn't bother letting us know ahead of time. i had to call them today to find out they weren't coming. after we bought easter goodies, i might add. someone just needs to smack me.
later.

Staying Busy

2009-04-07T22:04:00.002-04:00

i told you that damn groundhog didn't know what he was talking about. he saw his shadow & predicted 6 more weeks of bad weather. well, here it is 2 months later & we've got snow!! its not accumulating but its been spitting snow all damn day. in case i haven't said it enough, i hate snow!!
i've found a new hobby. for the last year or so as we've flipped through the channels on saturdays i've stopped on the painting shows to watch a little. before i knew it i was looking for them intentionally. there's a woman named donna dewberry that does a show on pbs. i just love her. she does all kinds of projects but her one stroke painting is fabulous. i'm thinking of adding some charm to the freshly painted bedroom. maybe a tree & some flowers would be pretty. bring the outside garden in. i'm thinking of copying parts of my own garden. course, this may be too big of a project & i might wimp out but for right now, its on my agenda.
two big purchases are also on my agenda. i want a new flat screen hdtv. a BIG one. and i want a new computer. if you're wondering where i've been lately, i've been shopping. you know me, i can shop all day long. what you may not know is i'm a tight ass. i really hate to part with my money so to do that i have to find a really good deal. if you hear of any, let me know...
later.

Mastering The Fine Tuning

2009-04-03T21:06:00.005-04:00

finally, i've just about finished with the bedroom. except for the curtains & deciding where everything will look best on the shelves. you know, the fine tuning. i really don't want to put it all up till hubby paints the ceiling. have you ever tried to get paint dots off of ceramics? that shit ain't easy. once i used this stuff called 'awesome' & it totally is just that because it really cleans your shit without scrubbing but it takes the color off with it. the only thing i know that works is good ole soapy water & that needs to be done as soon as possible. i'm so glad to have the floor fixed. that tilt a floor i had to walk through to go to the potty in the middle of the night was getting old. the pale tangerine color really brightened the room though. i should have done this years ago. even walking the tilt a whirl would have been easier if i could have seen like i do now. but, right now, its my favorite room in the whole house. up to this point my ivy covered kitchen was my fav. its moved down to the 2nd fav. i searched high & low for the perfect pieces for the kitchen till i had it all, then decorated it. i think its cute as hell. martha stewart ain't got nothin on me!!! i joke that i'm a 'jack of all trades: master of most'. how many women do you know that can cook the bacon, sew a pair of curtains & pull your motor out of the car all rolled into one? oh, and repair your computer to boot? ha! i'm too much. ow, i think i just pulled a muscle patting me on the back. i'm not as bendy as i used to be. and sad to say, i'm getting old.
later.

Pride In Success

2009-03-30T22:33:00.006-04:00

i told you jammer has been learning to read. he's doing so well. every report he brings home is marked with exceptional on it. his teacher says he's doing work above his grade. report cards are being sent home next week & he's in the 'fab four' club for his distinguished work. doesn't that just tickle you? he's so proud & puffed that i think he's gonna bust sometimes. he called his great grandpa to let him know how well he's doing. he thanked him for the birthday card with the $6.00 he sent him. he explained how hard he was trying to learn to read & telling him how to spell some of the harder words he knows. he held his own in the conversation. the last thing i heard him say was 'i love you very much'. my dad told him how much he loved him back. i think he's bucking for more money out of this deal.

Leaving The Dark Side

2009-03-21T20:13:00.006-04:00

we celebrated lucky's best friend passing her exam for broker's license today. She's been so stressed over homework for the last 5 weeks that even talking to her on the phone was wearing me out. apparently they chose her out of a class of 30 to get license. they gave her the books & 5 weeks to prepare. by herself. no teacher to watch, nobody to discuss it with, nothing but the books & her own determination to learn. she's a smart kid & wants to make something of herself. i'm impressed that she doesn't just want to sit around & do drugs like a lot of the kids these days. she got an 86 on it which i thought was pretty damn good. i invited her & lucky for dinner & told them i'd make their favorite: chili. i didn't mention i got her a brownie cake, balloon, ice cream & a few gifts like a bank to save her money in, a tote bag to haul her books in & a lunch bag to carry instead of brown paper bags. she was so tickled & it was all quite a surprise. we pulled it all off with her not being any wiser until we walked in singing 'for she's a jolly good sister'.
we've almost finished remodeling the bedroom so pretty soon i should be around a little more. painting the room with most of the furniture still in it has been slow. not only that the walls suck that paint in like a sponge. its taken 4 coats to get it the color i want it. serves me right for wanting a light color for a change. it was so dark in there you couldn't see anything even with the lights on. back when i decorated it, like 20 years ago, i was on night shift & spent my days catching up on sleep. i needed it dark then but for the last 10 years i've been on day shift & getting in bed at 10 pm instead of going to work meant the bedroom could be alot more vibrant. so i took down the darkening shades & actually opened the windows. when i did that you could see the cob webs under the bed & in the corners. yuck! you could also tell how dark the walls had turned from years of neglect. even my pictures hanging on the walls looked dark. it was ugly. now its a nice bright peach color & we're putting down white carpet! white, people! honestly, i never thought i'd be putting white carpet on my floor. over the years i've been given so many animal figures that i've stuffed in every corner i could find. now i'm thinking i can spread them out on shelves in the bedroom so they can actually be seen. when i'm done its gonna look like a mini zoo. very fitting for me. i found some really pretty giraffe print material that i'm gonna do a martha stewart button shades kind of thing. next i'll have hubby in a tarzan 'loin cloth' beating his chest & calling me jane. i've been watching painting shows on pbs & i'm thinking of adding a few vines & flowers. some of it looks pretty easy & really makes pretty decorations. we'll see.
oh, i almost forgot. in the middle of all this redecorating my friend shellbell brought me a laptop that was fried, so she thought, & asked me to see what i could do for it. its the first time i've ever worked on a laptop but i got it running in about 2 hours for her. i was so impressed with me that i did a giggle dance all around the house.
ok, i've filled you with enough bs for tonight. gotta finish my jungle room.
later.

Working Is A Way Of Life

2009-03-07T23:11:00.003-05:00

sonny has been to see his lawyer. turns out he was overpaid in his child support. he now has grounds for a lawsuit against the state for his incarceration. and mojo is in for some pretty enlightening lessons on conniving & basically trying to fuck people over. i can't go into alot of details here but i sure wish i could be a bug on the wall at her place real soon. this lawyer is awesome & i don't say that often. the lawsuit against the state will probably turn out to be a class action cos there are so many men out there that have been railroaded. i'm not saying every man doesn't deserve what they get. having kids that you don't want to take care of is easy enough to avoid. use rubbers, duh! but i commend dads that try to be part of their kids life & abide by the laws. its just the laws out there need to be rewritten to take into consideration the differences that may apply to individual situations. its just not a 'one size fits all' kinda world out there anymore. this woman had a man raising her kids, paying their way while she sat home on her ass, enjoying the 'stay at home' mommy life & didn't think twice to make sonny aware that he even had 2 daughters he didn't know until she found herself divorced & needing to make an income. even then she took money from that man & let him go on thinking he was supporting his kids until he decided they should go through the courts before he got screwed in that process. to top that off she still didn't ever take it upon herself to get a job. she went to welfare & child support for more of a free ride. i don't understand how she can look herself in the mirror & not feel bad about the way she's manipulated all of their lives. those babies tried to explain to me how they had 2 daddies because they were twins but they didn't know daddy sonny until they were older cos their other daddy didn't know about him. poor mixed up kids. i sure do miss those girls & i'll be glad when its all settled. and you know, i contacted the state department to find out what rights i had to see the twins & they told me 'grandparents rights' didn't really apply anymore. they changed that law several years ago & there wasn't much i could do to even be considered in any kind of visitation unless i could prove that not seeing them was duress for the girls. thats just plain wrong! i know it's heartbreaking for me & i know the girls miss us too but how do you go about proving something like that?
you know, when i was a kid my mom got $25.00 a week for my sister & myself. that was $12.50 a piece. my step mom did her part of putting it to my mom when she started paying by the month cos she would make a check out for $100.00 a month not accounting for the 5th week at least 3 times a year. my mother was a single woman raising us & she needed every penny she got her hands on. but my mom never turned to welfare. she worked her ass off to make ends meet.
when sonny's dad died social security helped tremendously but i still worked!
its just not right the way this woman has taken advantage of every life she touches. i can't wait to see her get her just deserts!
later

Lindy, Thy Name Is SHIT

2009-02-26T22:20:00.006-05:00

i've done it now. hubby is madder than a branded bull at me. i broke my computer. i had received a new video camera for xmas & after i loaded the drives for it one of the programs that came with it said it had to have directx 8 to run. big dumbie. i downloaded 8 & when it restarted my pc i had nothing but the a purple desktop. no icons, no start menu, nothing. then a box opened & said explorer caused an invalid page fault in explorer.exe. to the best of my knowledge there is about a dozen things you can do to fix this but the chance of any of those things actually fixing the error are about a ninety to one shot. well, i was in the ninety percentile. everything i tried told me it couldn't find my c drive to even fix it. i finally just formatted my hard drive & reinstalled the operating system. you'll notice the date on this is wwaaayyy back in feb. & here we are going into the 2nd week of march. i've had the pc running again but i had to start from scratch. i've been working on it for the last few weeks trying to get it back to where it was. i've finally given up on reloading all the shit i had on it & just leaving it bare bones for now. mostly so i could get back to this post & start writing again. if you want to call my occasional ranting anything akin to writing. anyway, my virus protection no longer supports us & the first thing i had to do was find a new one (& i wanted a free one that was worth a damn). i'm still experimenting with them cos i'm not happy with the one i have. it runs constantly in the background & slows the pc down way too much. while you're trying to open a page you have to go to tools & allow it as a safe site before the antivirus will allow it to even open. this is taking way too long. what i've decided to do is remount my backup hard drive & transfer everything back onto my new re-formatted hard drive. that will almost put me back where i was. in the mean time i've been saving as much of my pictures & documents as i could. for now, i'm just waiting to take a mini vacation. i can't get diddly done with the kids around. that kinda makes weekends worthless as far as the resuscitation of my internet life as i knew it. i've put in for thurs & friday off from work a few weeks from now to do the deed. so, i'm back for now but just barely.
later.

Total Rewind

2009-02-22T02:19:00.003-05:00

i spoke too soon on more issues than just one. for starters it snowed again yesterday. it started about 3:30 in the afternoon. its been snowing off & on every since. i don't know whether to hate mother nature or the groundhog at this point. i think both. it looks like we're in for a week of dustings & cold windy days. if you can believe the weather people.
on the other issue, honey got on the phone with sonnys' lawyer & he started making calls on thursday. i guess on an all day call to the prosecuting attorney he started throwing the words law suit & charges around & got the county worried. after doing some checking they discovered their so called 'dead beat dad' was actually overpaid in his child support. let me tell you they couldn't get him out of their jail fast enough. sonny said they called him to the office & begged him to call for a ride home. honey got there with about 800.00 bucks thinking she was gonna have to do a 10% bond but NO! they let him out on an O.R. meaning he just signed himself out with no money needed. isn't that amazing? wonder how they could have made such a mistake? with the mojo & her friend, who worked in the office of the child support bureau, conniving the way they did i wonder if his payments weren't doctored until they looked a little deeper. of course, sonny being the thorough receipt keeper that he is made for small work of whatever damage those two bitches cooked up. thank god he takes after his mommy & hangs onto things like that.
jammer turned out to have one of the best birthday presents he could have ever wished for. sonny said he jumped 4 feet to his arms when he saw him. jammer called me & was so excited i almost couldn't understand him. we extended his birthday to his birthweek. he got to have a party at school & we had a party here for him this weekend. i dressed up as a clown & served up cake & ice cream. i haven't uploaded the video or pics yet but as soon as i do i'll let you see. everyone laughed when i came out. i don't know if that was because i looked so stupid or it was a great idea. i just know i want jammer to always remember his birthday parties & how much his memaw loves him. i know i'm making impressions that will last the rest of his life. even when i'm gone he'll smile when they talk about his birthdays & maybe his heart will swell a little remembering how much memaw was a part of making those memories. we took him shopping on saturday & let him choose 3 gifts, no holds barred. he also got to choose his own cake & the theme this year. star wars. i remember his daddy choosing a star wars birthday. honestly, its a deja-vu life i have. would you have ever believed that would still be popular this many years later?
so, after all, it turned into a great week for everyone. and my big guy is now 6 years old. getting too big-too fast. i hope y'all had a great week too.
later

Doing Hard Time

2009-02-17T21:36:00.008-05:00

it's time for good weather & i mean now. i need to get out of this house & walk. i need to get vitamin d from the sun & fresh air.
i need to start building my personal time off at work back up. i can't do that with all this nasty shit going on. course, it doesn't help that i don't want to make that hour trip every day either. i want to retire & start my own business. my dream is to buy property & build a huge workspace with work benches all along one wall so i can start a computer repair business. on the other side i want to build a greenhouse so hubby can start a nursery. flowers & computers are the next generation. everyone always wants flowers & there will always be people that are too afraid to open their computers. this is my dream so please don't shoot it down. i've taken into consideration that computers are just getting smarter & i may not be needed but its a dream!
thursday is my grandsons birthday. he'll be 6 years old. i'll be having a party for him this weekend. one that i'm sure we'll always remember as probably the worst birthday he's ever had.
you see, his daddy won't be attending. they have him in holding at the grant county detention facility for child support. they just took his income tax return in july of 08 in the grand total of 10,000.00. yep! you read that right: ten thousand dollars. but thats not enough. see when he found out about the twins they were already 2 1/2 years old. and although they had another mans last name & he had raised them as his own. supporting them while the mojo lived the life of luxury as a stay at home mother the child support bureau decided that sonny should be accountable for them from birth. making his arrearage payment something like 11,000.00 dollars. the guy doesn't have a chance of ever catching this crap up. now they have tacked another 9300.00 dollars onto him. honestly, i don't know how men are expected to make ends meet when they have other children to support. it would be different if this woman had let him know he had these 2 babies & he ignored his part but he was clueless until the warrant was issued to have him take a paternity test. sneaky frekkin woman was happy go lucky as long as someone was supporting her & the kids but as soon as that was cut out she went looking to see who else she could get to support her sorry ass. and thats what this is all about. its not the kids that he's supporting its her. you should see the difference in her from when i first met her till now. she was a mousy brunette with pimples, splotchy skin & floppy t-shirts. now she's flaunting highlited tips in her hair & makeup out the wazzoo wearing designer jeans & christian louboutin shoes! when i was still getting the twins they had torn clothes & no shoes have the time. i know you hear about the mothers being bitched about in every child support case but i feel sorry for these kids. they get dumped onto anyone that will babysit them while she runs around in the bars. hell, if she hadn't been whoring in a bar in the first place she wouldn't have gotten pregnant. raise your hand if you really believe a bar is the best place to find a new father for your children.
i'm thinking of forming a group to fight for the rights of fathers that aren't dead beat dads but still getting screwed by the system. there are differences in every situation & that should be taken into consideration instead of one law fits all. if you're gonna put the dads in jail then they should put them in a work program & make them pay all the money they make into child support. otherwise what are they accomplishing by putting them in jail? its not like they can pay support while they're locked up the way the system is now. its just redundant.
maybe a clown at the party will help. where do i find floppy shoes?
later

Happy Dance

2009-02-12T22:42:00.004-05:00

YEAH!!! i'm alive! i can see earth again. the snow is alll gone & we're getting back to normal around here. we did lose power for awhile. thankfully i'm not one of the unlucky ones that still doesn't have power. all together i think we wound up with 11 inches. i missed a whole week of work & then 5 hours the next week. theres still piles of snow everywhere. dirty, nasty, tall piles of ugly snow. trees, telephone poles & lines are down everywhere. its been the winter from hell and that stupid groundhog saw his shadow again. if you believe that shit.
who's idea was that? pulling a groundhog out of his hole to check if he see's his shadow? how crazy is that? i think the person who thought that up had issues with groundhogs. what the hell could one little groundhog have done to someone to make them go crazy enough to want to drag one out every year & blind him with lights? i'm leaning towards jealousy. plain ole jealousy. groundhogs get to sleep the whole winter away & someone said to themself, 'if i can't be lazy & sleep in to skip winter then that damn groundhog is gonna suffer at least one day with me'. too bad that groundhog didn't eat him up to stop that tradition.
y'all been doing ok? i'm getting ready to cruise my peeps & see whats been going on.
damn, its good to be back!!!!
later

Taking A Break From Reality

2009-02-01T22:40:00.002-05:00

we finally dug ourselves out of one mess just to be hit again. it starts tomorrow & is supposed to continue through wednesday. looks like i won't be doing much driving tammi so you don't have to worry about me.
today is sonnys' birthday. i don't think i'll be calling him at 2:34am though. he has to work tomorrow. besides i've gotten out of the habit of retelling him the story of his birth. he didn't appreciate it like i did. he won't answer his phone anymore for me.
i don't want to stay on here. everyone is losing electric & i don't want to surge the pc. i'll be back when things are looking brighter.
later

Is Anybody Out There?

2009-01-31T19:56:00.007-05:00

well, mutha nature was a mutha fucka & done it again. she decided to not only puke all over us but shit & gloat as an afterthought. this time with an added bonus she added sleeting rain that locked down, not only the city but, the whole midwest. do you see how long that icicle is? it all started over night monday, i told you the weather people were calling for some pretty nasty weather. by tuesday morning we already had 5 inches of snow. then it turned to the mix of sleeting rain & snow. which turned everything into a solid chunk of ice. several inches of solid ice folks! these are the bushes that live down the side of the house. normally, they stand about 15 feet tall & create a heartshaped arch that you can walk through. afterwards, it snowed continuously for the next 12 hours. they locked the city down by wednesday, calling for a level 3 emergency, which meant you better have a damn good reason for being on the roads. businesses, schools, churches & our assholes were all closed for the season. i finally made it to work on thursday but they were calling for more snow by afternoon so i left early. last time it was like this it took me 7 1/2 hours to get home. i wasn't about to go through that again. i actually had to have my car towed home that time cos i couldn't get up the hill & was stuck in a driveway about 3 miles from home. the snow came & made things even worse for today so i couldn't go anywhere again. its a good thing we're in our slow time right now. if this had happened before xmas we'd be in big trouble about now. (people have no compassion when it comes to their xmas gifts if we can't come through with processing before they need their gifts.) back to the storm, when the ice started falling our electric started flickering. by 11 am the news was saying how the electric was off in at least 30,000 homes & my hometown made up about half of them. no sooner was that said then our electric bit the big one & everything went black. except the roads & the trees & the houses, which were all white! which was beautiful, btw. we were lucky & it came back on after a mere 13 hours. some people still have no electric today.
needless to say, we won't be having the kids this weekend. hell, we may not have them next weekend as they're already calling for more snow come monday & tuesday! if you don't hear from me:
SEND AIRLIFT!!

later.

Dirty Innocence

2009-01-27T23:55:00.007-05:00

hey, i just got my first dirty comment. it never occured to me that i'd get a dirty comment over anything i said. thats cos my mind isn't in the gutter but apparently some people wallow in it. hmmm. maybe i should post about breasticles & pussy more often. even pussy used innocently gets millions of hits in google. i know lots of searches of the word sex has shown up in my site meter from visitors. that was just cos i named one of my friends sex tex cos she's from texas. see? innocent.
to make it even clearer how innocent i am i'm ratting out my hubby. i think he's the dirty commentor.
later

Frozen Pussy

2009-01-26T19:19:00.008-05:00

tomorrow the weather people are calling for snow before i even get out of bed & by the time i get to work its supposed to be a mixture of snow & sleet. since i live on top of the hill 6 miles from the river my chances of getting down the mountain are slim to none without winding up in a ditch or worse, in the river. i received this email today & felt it was very appropriate.

"WINTER"
by Abigail Elizabeth McIntyre

Shit, it's Cold!"

i went straight to the bosses office this morning & relayed to her the sad news 'a winter storm warning in effect for tuesday'. i explained that the weather men told me that i shouldn't be on the roads unless it was a dire emergency. she agreed with the weather people that i shouldn't try to make it in. which means i get to sleep in tomorrow.
this is a good thing cos i didn't get any sleep this weekend. those darn kids were so noisy & demanding. it was all i could do to get down the hallway before they were yelling 'good morning, memaw' at me. apparently they're taking lessons from hubby about the yelling crap. bitch? me? i'm just kidding. i love it that the first thing they do is scream at me that they love me & are glad i'm up for them to begin the torture of their sibling rivalry. see how many kisses & hugs they can get in over each other. as far as i'm concerned they can knock themselves out with that one. although, i do hate it when ix hisses at jammer like she's a spawn of satans & i've put my foot down with both of them over the tattling. i keep trying to make ixxie realize that she has this one brother for life & he's gonna remember the things she does to him now so he can get even with her when he's bigger. and bigger he will get. and even is a state of mind with him. thats when i get the look of death from her. the love stops & she wishes reigns of locusts, rings of fire, a short life of leprosy & other horrible unmentionable things on me. i swear you can see it in her eyes. i have to get a pic of her when she's giving me that look of hatred. i laugh at her cos that pisses her off even more. she's alot more fun to piss off than jammer. he gets over it right away but she sits & broods on it until it eats at her. poor kid is gonna grow up to be a miserable adult. i forsee a lot of pissing going on in her life.
later

New President In: Money Out

2009-01-25T01:51:00.006-05:00

after that last post have you missed me? was that long enough or what? i didn't realize how long it was till i published it. i thought damn lindy, can you think of anything else to put in there? so, i come to you with my head hung & beg your forgiveness. but in my defense...aww, fuck it. i have no excuse. but dude, did you get my love of computers? you're gonna love this then. right now i have 2 sitting here with problems & people want me to fix them. someday, i'm gonna be able to retire & when (no, if) i ever do i'll have a backup income cos i'm gonna fix computers for a small fee. course, all the people that depend on me now to keep them up & running for them won't be happy that i want money for said fixing of computers but 'thems the breaks'. not everyone can have their own free IT support. honey thinks she's stroking my ego when she says 'you're my computer guru'. truth is i'm practising. her computer is my guinea pig & i'm doing trials & errors on it. knock on wood, i haven't screwed anything up yet so i must know what i'm doing to some extent. i figure i can only get better. i won't be retiring before 2021 so that gives me plenty of time to practise. besides, i've lost hard drives, had ram go bad, corrupted files & the dreaded bsod so i've been through a lot of the fixes on my own computer. also, between hubby & myself we've put together several computers to give away too. really, its not like i'm flying blind.
shoot, my 5 year old grandson already knows the 3 finger salute & advises everybody to use it on a weekly basis. speaking of jammer, we had pizza delivered on friday & when the pizza dude got here jammer ran to the door to say 'hi, pizza dude'. kevin, our delivery guy spoke to him asking 'whats up'? jammer told him he was gonna be a pizza dude when he grew up. god, please help me save him from that life. i know, i'll teach him to work on computers. when i retire i'll get the jobs & he can do the work. course, when that time finally gets here computers will probably come with their own nano's to repair anything that went wrong. guess we'll have to learn how to fix the nano's when they go bad.
february is coming up fast & whoo hooo, tax time. i want to get mine done quickly before obama makes his all important change
to our system & i get screwed out of my money somehow. it would be nice if he came through for the little guys but i just don't see it happening. we're also gonna take mojo to court for visitation with the twins. i'm excited for that to come. i've really missed the girls. as a matter of fact we still have xmas gifts sitting here for them. its gonna be like xmas all over for all of us come february.
ahh crap. its snowing here again. i was hoping it was over for the day. just means i have to get up early & head out before daylight. guess i better hit the sack.
later

Losing My Shit

2009-01-18T20:32:00.009-05:00

i love my computer. i don't get as much chance these days as i used to sign in & do my surfing but that doesn't deter me. its still the most fantastic thing EVER to be invented. well, not counting things like electric toothbrushes, hair dyes & cardio paddles but still it ranks right up there with the best of inventions. i first started about 15 years ago on an old workstation that had a unix system on it. all i could do with it was enter stock information. it was a company computer & it didn't have internet access. the experience of having something so cool that made my work so much easier was fascinating to me. it made me want to learn more about it. thats about the time they started coming down in price & finally was cheap enough that people were buying them for personal use. my boss at the convenient store realized how much i loved being on the computer & invited me to stop by his house to check out his sons computer. well, let me tell you, i was thrilled! his son showed me how to sign on & surf the web and people, it was on!!! from then on i just couldn't get enough of the computer knowledge. i started checking out books at the library & every chance i got i visited jay, the kid with the computer, to show him what i learned. we fed off each other & before you knew it he had the most tricked out computer in the city! one day another friend stopped by & he was in a jam & needed to make some money fast. he was packing a....
hang on a minute while i take care of business. 'what do you want'? 'come to bed'. 'i'm waiting to take my medicine. i'll be in in a minute'.
if this ~~thang~~ darling man that i ~~grudgingly~~ lovingly refer to as hubby ~~yells~~ calls at me to 'come to bed' one more time i'm gonna ~~smash~~ nestle his ~~obnoxioux face~~ cute litte upturned nose into my ~~big fat tits~~ breasts & ~~stop him from snoring permanently~~ make him a happy man.
now where was i? oh yeah, the computer.
he was packing a compaq presario 4402 & needed a hundred bucks to pay his electric bill. i didn't want to seem too excited but for me it was a done deal. i went to the bank to get the money but made him go with me so he wouldn't be able to sell it out from under me before i got back. since that time i've cruised the internet to my hearts delight. i've bought programs, more memory & bigger hard drives eventually moving on to a better & newer computer. for every program you buy you have to sign up with some site to upgrade or get the latest news. if you want to lose weight, you have to sign up for that site. if you want to get email, you have to sign up for an account. have you noticed how every site you go to wants you to 'create an account'? just to name a few, i belong to blogger, plaxo, myspace, bebo, juno, hotmail, kodak, trellix, ebay, cincular, duke, lifelogger, computing.net & even martha fucking stewart (don't laugh, i love my cute little house) not to mention a few banks that i deal with. the list goes on & on. i've had so many accounts that i've forgotten about a lot of them until i see something that mentions the site & reminds me, oh yeah, i have an account there. hell, i even read a few blogs that insist you create an account with them so you can comment. which is why some of you don't hear from me anymore. i had to draw the line somewhere! well, to finally get to the point. i opened one of my bank sites last night & spent 2 hours trying to sign in! shit, damn, hell! what was my user name & password? 2 hours people! thats ridiculous! i know how ridiculous it is cos i have a cd getting ready to mature & i have to do something about it now or its gonna roll over for another fucking year. shit, damn, hell! i want that money now! as stupid as it is i've reached the point where i'm gonna have to start keeping a list of things to keep up with all of them. i know, i know! i'm asking for trouble but i have a lockbox that i can keep it in. its buried in the back yard & all i have to do is wait until after dark to go dig it up. right? wanna hear the funniest part of all this?
I CAN'T REMEMBER WHERE I BURIED THE FUCKING BOX~
later.

New Toys

2009-01-17T23:14:00.003-05:00

sorry, i know i'm a shitty blogger. i've been so busy with work that the last thing i want to do when i get home is get on another computer. i'll try to be better. now that we've slowed down at work i can find more things to blog about. i've been playing with my new video camera a bit. i'm still not really good with it but this summer that will change. i plan on burning it up. it has so many settings & things to check before you tape that the pages of the manual all look like bangledesh to me. theres one page that illustrates how to get to different functions & how to change them but i can't figure out when to hit the confirm or the menu button. i'm not stupid just overwhelmed with this thing. its gonna be a trial & error kinda learning experience for all of us. so far the video i've taped is too dark to really see anyone. except where i'm in the bright kitchen. theres an ev adjustment on it that i didn't even know about when i started using it at nippers house the day we did our christmas there. when i got home & started rewatching the videos on the camera they looked ok. you could see everything pretty well. just like when i taped it. but after i finally downloaded the drivers & copied everything onto the pc its alot darker. when i put the new 2 gig memory card in it i read on the box that i could get a free download of corel maintainone program which i thought cool, i can fix the dark exposure with that but when i went to the site to download it i was looking at 17 hours of download time. sorry bitch, its yours if you can stay online long enough & guess what? i can't. my isp will only stay up in 4 hour increments. besides, who's gonna go to work if i have to try sitting here for 17 hours to babysit a download? see! there! i just got kicked off & had to sign back in to finish this post.
which is a sign that i've been on here reading my favs & searching the net for my allotted 4 hours. like i care that they think i only need 4 hours to do whatever i want to do on my computer. pfft. what do they know?
i still have to visit utube & figure out how to stay online long enough to upload these videos for ya'll to see.
later

Old Age

2009-01-12T20:58:00.003-05:00

did anyone see that full wolf moon on the 10th? we didn't get to see much of it. the skies were mostly cloudy but every now & then it peaked through. beautiful. too bad it happens in the middle of winter. you can't spend any time outside as cold as its been. we've had below zero temps & snow. i need to move to a warmer climate. preferably warm year round & flat. so i can get lots of walking time. i've found that the more i walk the more weight i lose. since xmas i've been kinda stuck due to not getting out for my walks & hubby moved my nordic trak to the bedroom to make room for the tree. now that the tree is down its time to bring the trak back out but you know, thats just not as fun as taking a walk outside. its boring. i tried reading while i walked on it but thats not the easiest thing to do. maybe i need an ipod so i can listen to music. anything to make that damn trak more interesting. if i weren't such a wuss i'd get out & walk in the snow. that would really burn some calories, don't you think? for every step i'd take i'd have to take 3 or 4 more to keep from busting my ass. so far this year i've only kissed the pavement once. i was getting out of the car & as soon as my feet hit the ground my feet flew out from under me. i went straight under the car. granted my face didn't kiss the pavement but my ass sure did. i was sore for a few days. i'm too old to do that too much. course everyone that saw it asked if i was ok through their snickers. i can't blame them, i laugh first & show concern second too. i think thats human nature.
stupid me got a vibrating, heating mat for christmas but i loaned it out to my boss that just had back surgery. i took into the office & said, 'i thought you could try this today & see if it helps'. a little while later i went in & asked if she'd like me to plug it in for her & she informed me that she thought she'd just take it home & try it. i thought she'd try it at the office & if it helped she'd go buy her one. i never dreamed she'd take it home & keep it. that was almost 3 weeks ago & she still has it. at home. not the office. i'm kinda at a loss as to how to ask when she thinks she might bring it back to me. after all, my sister bought it for me, as a christmas gift, cos, ummmm, my back hurts too. i had used it once. it felt really good which is why i thought it might help her. hubby says i can kiss it goodbye. he thinks she'll just keep it & every week that she doesn't bring it back he just shakes his head at me. i know she'll give it back but at this point i'm wondering if it'll be summer before i get it. or maybe she's waiting till she can walk long enough to shop so she can buy her own. whatever, i hope its soon. i'm jealous she has the heating vibrating mat.
later

What's Up

2009-01-05T22:13:00.006-05:00

watching the ball drop i came to a few conclusions. you may or may not agree with me but thats totally up to you.
1. a person has to be nuts to want to go to new york in the fucking winter & stand in the middle of the streets for hours for any reason. on top of being too cold you're always taking the chance of getting stabbed. it happens every year & its just not a chance i want to take.
2. its time for dick clark to give up the ghost. god bless him, he's still hanging on but how scary does he look these days? i'm not sure if thats a cause & effect thing or if he's had too much plastic surgery. who can tell?
sure i was raised on dick clark & his american bandstand program. sure i love dick too. but i really didn't enjoy the show enough to watch. seeing him that pitiful made me feel bad for him. he didn't really even look like he was enjoying what he was doing. i had to turn the channel until it was time to see the ball fall, opps, i mean drop.
i saw the blog awards are back. did you voted for anyone? a few of the blogs listed in my sidebar were actually nominated. and yes, i had to vote for them. i started my new year off right by doing good deeds. think that might pay off in the long run?
its time to get back on the diet rollercoaster. through the holidays my main goal was to maintain. i figured if i could keep the weight off that i've lost through the holidays i was good to go when i got started again. i did that & went one better by losing another pound even with all the good food. now, it's time to start taking this thing seriously again. i did finally get the meds the dr. wrote prescriptions for. i couldn't afford them even with my insurance covering the biggest part of them. it took a few paychecks after christmas to get that together. it was a choice between my new meds or hubbys' seizure meds & since taking him off those would cause him to maybe have a seizure i couldn't take the chance. after i take them for a month i'll make another appointment with my dr. to make sure they're working for me. i'll keep you updated on that.
oh crap, i almost forgot my big news. jammer is learning to read! i have to get utube or blogspots video to work for me cos i have to show you what he does with his tongue when he's reading. he sticks it out & wiggles it every time he gets a word right. i think its his way of celebrating but it might just be concentrating on how to pronounce the next word. you can help me decide. if you don't laugh yourself silly.
now, i have to hit the sack. we're expecting snow tomorrow so i'll have to head out a little early to miss it. i'm just praying it'll all be over by the time i get off tomorrow & not too bad to make it home. i hate sleeping in the car.
later.

What Makes You?

2008-12-29T23:27:00.006-05:00

well, we're coming up on the new year, are you ready? 2008 has been a tough year. it seems like everything that could go wrong has and to make matters worse having strep throat the last few weeks has been no fun. i don't know what 2009 will bring but here's hoping for a better way of life & an easier path to travel. for the most part the posts i've read lately all read like obituaries. gloom & doom seems to be the theme for the new year. i can't go into a new year with that outlook. so, i'm hoping to bring some cheer into the blogworld. who could not react to a beautiful young child that loves everything about his world? he thinks he's the luckiest kid in the universe & wants to love everybody in it! he gives hugs, kisses & smiles freely.
doesn't this make you smile?

he has his whole life ahead of him & i want it to be a wonderful life. i wish for him all the happiness for the rest of his life that he holds in the wonder of those beautiful blue eyes today. and i'll never forget taking this pic when i asked 'hey, dom, do you love me'? i snapped this as he was saying, 'i love you with my whole heart, mamaw'! he makes my world perfect.

and how about this gorgeous family? baby kb has that mischevious look of 'what can i get into today' swirling through her head. she's learning to sign as she learns to speak. she snags your heart when she signs 'please' for a cookie or 'thank you' when you give her a kiss. she's walking all over her new world & loving every minute of it. all stairs in her world are an adventure that she must conquer, not an obstacle. i wish for her & her family a long life of loving & learning together. of conquering the world with the enthusiasm that she tackles those stairs. may there always be bright stars in their lives that shines like the twinkle in her eyes.

theres another wish i'd like to make tonight. i wish, for all of you, to find what makes your world perfect. hold it near & dear to your heart. depend on it. count on it like you've never counted on anything.

around the corner is a new day, a new year & a new hope. reach for the stars my friends. i'm sure you'll find something wonderful too.

later.

December 25, 2008

2008-12-25T23:27:00.003-05:00

merry christmas to all
&
to all a good night.

Living On The Edge

2008-12-24T00:33:00.002-05:00

yeah, i feel alot better. today is the first day i've actually felt human. i've been doing a salt water rinse & gargle along with lots of antibiotics. it finally worked. through all my throat aches having to answer the phones hasn't helped but the work must go on. so i swallowed gently (impossible) & endured to just get through. i took off today through the weekend to give my throat some well needed rest. hopefully by monday i'll be back to normal & ready to tackle another few days. i also took off thur. & fri. of next week for new years & the dreaded birthday thingy. not related to the sore throat just to finish off the year in a lazy mood. i like working just 3 or 4 days aweek. i think everybody should only have to work a few days a week & be able to accomplish things like healing & gardening or whatever for the rest of the week. in my defense i'd like to mention that the gifts are all wrapped & the stockings are all stuffed so my christmas 'have to's' are all in order. now, i'm allowed to be lazy & sick.
tomorrow is christmas & i'll be spending that at my inlaws. friday we go to my mothers. sometime in between i have to let the kids open our gifts. that may have to wait till saturday morning. at least now i can give kisses without having to worry about sharing my strep throat & killing an undeserving family member.
uh um, mom, i'm not contagious anymore. now can i come get my christmas gifts?
later.

On The Brink Of Death

2008-12-17T22:42:00.004-05:00

i think i have strep throat. my friend cookiebaby visited a few weeks back & she told me 'i hope you have a good immune system cos i think 2 of my rugrats have strep throat'. i didn't give it any thought cos i've never had it & figured i could fight whatever off. man, was i wrong. my glands have been so swollen that it hurts to even breathe, let alone sleep, talk, swallow or eat!
i mentioned to mom that i thought i might have strep throat & she said, 'that's dangerous. it could kill you & its really contagious. do you think you'll be okay for christmas?'. thanks alot mom. i really think i'll live but damn, i might not be able to swallow for a few weeks. maybe i shouldn't come for christmas? maybe nobody should get too close to me & by the way, thanks for the boost there. god only knows how we might cope. let alone my guilt if i visit for christmas & i contaminate anyone else. hello, get a grip & love me!!! i'm praying i don't kill anyone. if i do, i'm sure i'll pay for that one for the REST OF MY LIFE! needless to say, i'm medicating myself & i have a doctors appointment for the 5th of january. if i live that long... you'll be the first to know.
later.

Visions Of Sugarplums Danced In Their Heads

2008-12-14T00:40:00.003-05:00

sonny kept the kids this weekend. they are supposed to take them to 'breakfast with santa' & have their pictures taken with him. hubby & i are taking bets on it. i hate to be so negative but usually the plans with the kids get blown off for what ever the fuck else comes up for sonny or honey. its usually honey & her agoraphobic hangups. she doesn't really suffer from this. she's really just a bitch & this is her way of getting what she wants. if she doesn't want to go someplace she uses this but by golly if she wants to do something theres no phobia mentioned to be worried about. not to mention, she's never had an attack of any kind. she just spouts the agoraphobia when she doesn't want to do something. when it comes to visiting her parents or a friend she's fine. correct me if i'm wrong but panic attacks don't disappear cos its something you want to do. either you can or you can't leave the house. right? i remember seeing a movie once that everytime the person tried to leave their house the walls started closing in on them, the floor pitched & they got so sick to their stomach they passed out. to me, thats agoraphobia. as a matter of fact, lately the phobia hasn't been spouted so much as now she has seizures. another condition that only she knows about. nobody has ever seen her have one but after knowing her for 6 & a half years 'oh, yeah, i suffer from seizures'. oh yeah, she suffers from assholitis is my opinion.
sonny is no angel in this department, either. his big thing is everytime he does take honey anywhere she shows her ass so he'd rather avoid the situation by blowing off what ever they've promised the kids. for instance, they took the kids to the zoo one day while i was working. on the way to my office two women were checking sonny out as they were coming through the parking lot & honey started yelling across the lot at the women about why they were checking out her man. one of my coworkers hearing this going on said to me, 'she asked them if they wanted to take a picture so it would last longer & then she'd break their heads with the camera'. i was horrified & glad they decided to turn around & go home. another time they went to a fair & sonny ran into some kids he had attended high school with & she created a scene over the girls in the group. again instead of ignoring her sonny packed them all up & took them home. can you imagine being a kid that finally got to go to the county fair after being promised for weeks they would, actually pulling up, getting out of the car thinking 'oh yeah, we are here, what could go wrong now & then nope. mommy showed her ass again & we're going home.
we took the car to sonny today & yep, they didn't make it to breakfast with santa. turned out sonnys partner showed up last night with a couple bottles & they got drunk instead. i said to sonny, 'you what? sonny you have 365 days out of the year to party with your friends & you can't take ONE day off to do something with your kids that you promised them to do? you two suck as parents'. 'so, is there another day that you can have breakfast & take pictures with santie'. he didn't know but promised they'd come through if there was another chance. yeah, when hell freezes over. i guess its up to hubby & i again. i wish i'd had the kids this weekend. today it got up in the 50's & would have been a great night to take them to santa's village at the zoo. we've got the only pics taken of them with santa & i guess thats the way its gonna be for the rest of their lives. if they get to do anything memaw & pappaw will take them. and we don't fuck around!
later.

Chains For Safety

2008-12-11T23:09:00.001-05:00

you know, its way too early to be this cold. although, the cold i can handle. its the snow that puts me in a tizzy. no, thats not true, its the freezing snow that puts me in a tizzy. it does things to my heart. like unnatural palpatations & irregular beating. when i get in my car to make that hour drive to work & my tires aren't whats turning my car...i start freaking. i have way too many hills & curves to negotiate to not have traction. what ever happened to global warming? i thought by now we were supposed to have florida weather & our weather was supposed to have moved up towards canada. i think someone misfigured. or when they took our aerosol canned goods away it also changed the path that global warming was supposed to take. damn ecologists. no, i shouldn't joke about global warming. its a serious problem & we should do everything we can to prevent it from happening. but have you read that in the latest findings the changes in the way land is used could contribute to global warming as well? seriously, every change we make, whether its for the good of the people or the good of the land, seems to be contributing to global warming. or have some detrimental effect on the earth. people, i think we're just screwed. and i know when it comes to driving in the snow, i, in particular, am screwed to the fullest extent of screwdom. you see, i've spent my entire life being convinced i'll die in a car accident. i've had nightmares about this. i've had one recurring nightmare of my car flying through the air in slow motion in a circular motion but i never land. they say if you die in your dreams you die for real. thats why my car never lands. cos i'm still alive but the dream is so real i've accepted that is my fate. i'm probably gonna fly off one of the hills i drive during a snow storm & my car is gonna twist in the air until i land & thats what will kill me. the landing. i think i'm losing my grip. see thats what winter does to me. it makes me freak out over the stupidest things. this weekend i'm taking my car to sonny for some winterization maintainance. i wish they still allowed chains on tires. i'd feel alot safer if i had a chain on my tire to drive in the snow. did they outlaw those or did someone just tell me they outlawed them? i remember when i was a kid seeing cars with chains on the tires but i haven't seen them in years. i'm gonna have to research that. i know studs are only allowed during certain months but i really don't know about chains. maybe i don't have to die in a winter car wreak after all.

Starship Log 2069

2008-12-03T22:29:00.003-05:00

hubby is watching 'victoria secrets' on tv. save me, please. someone needs to send the mother ship for me right away. you don't know probing until hubby gets to it. the probing will be more than i can take if i stay here. please, please, someone take me away!!!
later.

Surfing Without A Net

2008-12-02T21:20:00.012-05:00

good evening friends. i am happily coming to you without my internet service provider. and you know it is wayyy faster. i surf the net occasionally just to see what new technology is out there. one of the things that always pissed me off was my isp would disconnect me after 4 hours. if you pay for the service i don't think they should take the liberty to decide when you should get off their bandwidth. i used the free internet at first but then, when i realized i wanted to be online for more than 10 hours a month, i upgraded. i didn't take advantage of them. i never went over the allotted time. if they didn't want me to use their damn bandwidth they shouldn't have taken me as a customer. (i'm sorry but the damn link won't work in this post & i don't know what i'm doing wrong. so if you click the title up there maybe that'll work.) their homepage always had all these flashing advertisements that crippled the shit out of my pc. i could click a link & walk away for 10 minutes & still not see the site. i never actually timed that so i may be exaggerating a little. sometimes i get pretty impatient waiting so it seemed like forever, though. i've been thinking about eliminating their dialup software since i found the site & have been putting it off. till tonight when my homepage froze almost immediately. that was the straw that broke this bitchs back. i'd had all i was gonna take of all that stupid useless advertisement. who wants a dancing fucking spiderman & flashing netflix crap tying up their computer? not me, for sure! i've got too many cool things to do to bother with freezing pages & having to do the 3 finger salute to get my pc going again every few minutes. so now, i just sign in through my internet connection which i sent a shortcut to my desktop for & i'm a much happier surfer. you can bet i'm gonna share this with all my friends. they already think i'm a computer goddess & this will just confirm their assumptions. we, the poor people, must stick together in screwing the big corporate asshats that think they can outsmart us.
huh?
later.

Checking In

2008-11-30T01:08:00.001-05:00

i knew i'd be back too late for thanksgiving wishes. i'm glad i did it in my last post. we spent friday with hubby's family & had a great time. mum always does a huge spread including hors' dourves. she always lays out shrimp, humus, cheese spreads, spinach dip, candies, homemade breads & cakes, and this year she did a new dish called pumpkin fluff served on cinnamon graham crackers that was to die for. the pumpkin fluff was made with whipped cream & pumpkin spice. the cinnamon graham crackers made it!! i was super careful & didn't splurge but i tasted some of everything.
we had our own dinner too, with lucky, sonny, honey & the kids. ixxie was beside herself with so much food. she told me she was in 'food heaven'. she was serious! she emptied her plate & asked for seconds & thirds of some things. my favorite is always the broccoli casserole. besides the turkey, that is. i've always loved turkey & its not bad for me. guess what i'm feeding on this week for lunch?
did you hear about the horrendous shoppers out on black friday? i mean, one story i heard out of ny, a temporary was literally trampled to death.
can you imagine being the parents of a young man that took on a temporary job for the holidays as a sweeper & you get the news that they were trampled to death? what a horrible ordeal for that family. what a horrible way to die. kind of makes me glad i don't have the money to shop. besides i'd never act like that in public & don't care what sales are out there. thats just crazy. normal people just don't run over each other. whatever product they bought at that sale couldn't be worth a life. maybe thats just me but i wouldn't be able to look at it without remembering that someone died while i was in the mad rush to get it.
my younger sister, nipper, skipped it all & flew out to vegas for the weekend. now i'm hearing that the weather may be extending her trip. i don't know if i'd complain about being stuck in nevada. sounds like a godsend to me. she's a workaholic so the break will be good for her. she's such a sweetie & her company doesn't appreciate her like they should. course, i don't think any of us are actually appreciated like we should be, though. but again, maybe thats just me.
so anyway, its back to the grindstone for me after a 4 day weekend. and my weather person is calling for the nasty 's' word. i'll be glad when winter is over already. i hate that white shit.
later.

Changes! They Are A Coming

2008-11-25T19:43:00.010-05:00

the scales are reading 38 pounds lighter. my pants are in the process of getting taken in. even my underwear is falling off. plus, i've bought some new clothes that fit me. i'm feeling good. for the last week i've kinda slacked off on the dieting. some things are just too good to pass up & frischs fish sandwich was one of them. its best when its dripping tartar sauce & lettuce off the edges. num-num. if you have a frischs or big boy
in your area you know what i'm talking about. i passed 2 before i started thinking about it & by the time the third one came up i couldn't say 'no' anymore. i mean when you pass your favorite restaurant 3 times...well, you know the old saying, 'third times a charm'. i also made some banana pudding with vanilla wafers for lucky on sunday & i indulged in that. not overboard indulging. its not like i've pushed my luck & gained any weight back. i've just eaten some of my favorite things this week. i'm sticking with the exercise & my weight has been pretty stable. with thanksgiving coming up i know i'm gonna give in to some turkey & mashed potatoes with stuffing on the side. after that its back to eating right & watching my calorie intake. i'm figuring if i give myself a break once in a while it won't seem like i'm on a friggin diet for a lifetime!!
jammer was in a thanksgiving play this week. he had two lines he said all by himself & then 2 lines he said with the class. i worked with him all weekend to learn his lines & finally by sunday when i asked him to say his lines he said, 'memaw, this is like the 59th million time'! yeah, he was right. it seemed like i asked & asked him to repeat them but he said them without a hitch.
he's learning to read & write too. i think its all too cute. he's learning more & more all the time. he's always trying to use new words. earlier in the day he had been practising his writing & when ixxie made him move he looked up at her & said, 'oh no, now you broke my contract'. 'wait, memaw, thats not the right word, is it'? ixxie piped in with 'i think you're looking for the word....ummm'. (cos she's a know it all & has to always put her 2 cents in before she thinks)...'i don't remember the word, either'. i told him they were both looking for the word 'concentration'. jammer said 'yep, thats the word'. ixxie said, 'no, i don't think thats it'. grrr. how can you teach one that thinks she knows everything? you know i feel sorry for ixxie. i was doing the math & her mommy had her first baby when she was only 14 years old. i don't think ixxie had a shot from the beginning. she's got her mothers stubborn know it all attitude & she's already boy crazy. thats 2 strikes & well, like i said, i don't think she's got a shot. third times a charm...3 strikes & you're out...however you want to put it...it applies to ix. i've been preaching college till i'm blue in the face & her response is she doesn't even like school, except for the boys. is it any wonder i'm coloring my hair?

which i did btw. i'm now a redhead.
what do you think? oh, & can you tell i've lost weight. am i on the verge of being a goddess or what?
psyche!!! (snort..snort) i'm just giving myself a little nudge in the right direction. hell, you could help. tell me how great i'm looking!!!
and in case i don't make it back beforehand...
'happy thanksgiving everyone'.
god bless & safe traveling.
later.

Living The Blessed Life

2008-11-21T23:57:00.002-05:00

i do have a guardian angel. she watches over me every day of my life. a perfect example of this was wednesday when my brakes went out on a hill. i was coming up to a light & hit my brakes to stop but nothing happened. all i could think was oh shit!!! my heart went clear up to my throat then dropped to my feet. i was so scared so fast i thought i was gonna pass out. my head actually felt woozy. that can't be good for my heart. i pulled into the parking lane & (thank god there was no cars) coasted to a stop. if i'd been going any faster i'd probably be dead right now. i called hubby & told him what happened so he wouldn't worry about me. i was definitely gonna be late. i had just had my back brakes changed over the weekend. we had backed the car up several times & slammed on the brakes to adjust them. little did we know that the bleeder pin had snapped in the process. it had been leaking brake fluid all over the place. something i hadn't noticed until after the fact. now, everywhere i go that i've been parking in i'm seeing dark spots all over the ground. including my own fucking driveway. how could nobody notice that? hubby walks out through the driveway everyday to go with his dad. wouldn't you have thought seeing the wet spots might have dawned on him that something was leaking? i think if i'd walked through without the car parked there i would have noticed. since i'm a creature of habit i always park in the same place & therefore the spots were always under the car. i hate to think i have to get down on the ground & look from now on to make sure there aren't new wet marks but by golly, i guess thats what i'm gonna be doing for at least the next few weeks. i kinda value my life like that.

My Precious

2008-11-15T20:37:00.007-05:00

most dogs are good dogs they're just majorly misunderstood. everybody knows a puppy is gonna chew & an old dog is gonna sleep. the old saying that you can't teach an old dog new tricks just isn't true. you can teach an old dog new tricks, if you're very patient, but the problem with that is their brain is so feeble that for every new trick they learn an old one might escape out the holes in their head.
i've told the story of ms. m many times over. she's a sweet dog especially considering the start to life she had. she does the normal, sit, stay, lay tricks. one of her speciality tricks is giving high fives. something i've taught almost every dog i've ever owned. its a cute trick & i love it.
one of the cutest things she does is when she wants to beg for something she steals your heart by high fiving at you. she just starts waving her paw in the air while she stares at whatever food you have. something else i think is adorable is when she wants 'lovins' she comes to me & bends her head down for kisses. i kiss her on the top of the head & she's happy. i'm not sure but i think she learned that from mr. p. he always laid his head against my cheek until i turned to kiss him. he could take kisses all day long. ms. m gives me the impression she knows when hubby & i are arguing, too. i swear the dog speaks english. the other day, hubby & i were in a heated discussion & he was getting under my skin. i was getting pretty upset & said to her, 'mousey go over there & lick daddys ass for me'. she walked over to him & politely licked him across the face. i'm telling ya the dog knows her english better than i do. or she knows something about body anatomy i don't. or she considers him as much an ass as i do. whatever! good girl.
later.

It 'Runs' In The Family (Pun Intended)

2008-11-15T03:35:00.009-05:00

y'all know i've bitched about constipation for awhile. this medication the doctor has me on hasn't helped in that area at all. when i mentioned this to the dr. do you know what he told me? eat more fiber. does a salad a day plus 2 vegetables & at least, 2 fruits count as enough fiber? i bought metamucil to help but omg does that stuff taste nasty. its all i can do to choke it down. i bought some tea bags to mix it with but i can't find the time to fix tea every day. how do english people find the time for tea time everyday? honestly, give me a cold diet soda & tea is the last thing i think of. besides i hate what it does to your teeth. smoking is bad enough on my teeth. i've decided to make a pitcher of tea & just heat individual cups in the microwave to help me remember to drink the met-a-shit stuff. hopefully that'll work for me. all this constipation worry makes me think about my grandma. i remember a little trick my grandma used to tell me. she'd say just take a little sliver of soap & stick it up there. then you can squeeze it out with your fingers. something i've never considered doing but i hadn't thought of grandma for awhile. so at least the problem made me remember grandma & that she wasn't always the wisest woman in the out house. grandma had full blown diabetes 1. she had to take an insulin shot everyday of her life. i know she ate right in the morning cos i was the one that stopped by her house every morning on my way home from my 3rd shift job to make her breakfast & give her the insulin shot. i'm not sure how she ate the rest of the day but grandma had issues. she loved candy & always had some stashed somewhere on her person. grandma owned a 3 story house with a full basement. so besides what she carried in her pockets she had lots of places to stash shit & she was a packrat, too. i used to have nightmares of crawling through the walls of the house cos you couldn't walk through the rooms & her second floor was haunted. i remember her trying to break her candy habit with the diet candies called 'aids'. i don't know if you remember those but they were like caramel squares & they were a diet aid. back then. i never saw grandma eat the diet candy but if we ate any she sure as hell knew they were missing. in the end, grandma couldn't hardly see & when they started fighting her gangreen they cut her toes off first. then the top half of her feet. from there they moved up to her knee & finally to the thigh. mom moved grandma into the house with her so she could look after her. by then grandma had lost both her legs & honestly, i think she was losing her mind too. grandma always complained that she had to shit. mom bought her milk of magnesia cos being diabetic they didn't want her to take alot of laxatives with all her other meds. grandma also had hemorroids. i know that doesn't help when you have bowel trouble. lifting grandma around wasn't much of a problem. she weighed next to nothing without legs but she drank the milk of magnesia like it was the candy she couldn't sneak anymore. so everytime you picked her up she would shit all over. not 2 minutes later she would tell you she had to shit & all day & all night she would announce throughout the house, 'oh lord, i have to shit'. so, see, it does run in the family. i just don't want to have to lose my legs so my granddaughter has to lift me to shake the shit out of me every day.
later.

Cloning

2008-11-12T22:39:00.021-05:00

we visited with my aunt this week who was in from florida. i took the kids with me & when jammer walked in she said, 'is this sonnys'? i couldn't help but ask 'how did you guess'? having jammer is like raising sonny all over again. he's an exact clone. he couldn't be more like him if he pulled him out of his ass and i'm not just talking about his looks. his thought process, the way he uses his hands, the looks he gives me, the way he pouts & gets his way with me are all the same. right down to the things he plays. sonnys favorites were farm animals with fences & barns, gi joes, matchbox cars & wrestlers. oh my god, how he loved the wrestlers. the kids in the neighborhood would get together in the front yard & play wrestling. they'd give each other the chance to power drive them into the ground. they'd clothesline each other & giggle like crazy. jammer doesn't have the matches in the front yard that daddy had but they still compare favorites & talk the wrestling crap or gi joes that daddy talked. everytime we go to the store he makes me invest in as many gi joes as he can talk me into. usually winding up with at least 2 new men a week. i know, i'm a sucker. the worst part about that is i have to invest the same amount in ixxie everytime i give in to jammer. sometimes 10 bucks isn't all that much but damn, sometimes its the last 10 bucks i have in my pocket. in cleaning out the shed we found a shitload of sonnys old gi joes & jammer about had a heart attack! it was like christmas in july. (wait for it, i'll get back to the wrestlers in a minute) some of the men were so old & abused that they broke immediately. again with the heart attack. you would have thought his world was coming to an end!! he just couldn't believe that his newly founded treasures were crapping out on him. he brought the broken men to me & begged me to fix them 'memaw, you can save them, can't you'? he had every confidence in me. i couldn't let him down so i got my handy tool kit out & went to work.

Afterall, i'm the memaw & i can do anything, right? we popped some popcorn & cracked open a few beers & went to work... lining up the men in question.

there were parts all over the place & we had to match them up before we could start. i don't think you can tell by

this picture but i had asses & legs everywhere.

if you look really close theres a screw in the back of every gi joe. if you screw that out you'll find a stub that you can wrap a small water gasket around then loop it down over the hook connecting the legs that feeds into the torso. put everything back together & viola! you have a fixed gi joe!!

of course, i had help. jammer was very interested in how the fixing process went so he watched every move i made & collected the men as fast as he could we they were fixed. he was also right there helping me to match the pieces together. god forbid i matched anything up that didn't go together. you know, as talented as memaws are they are still capable of making mistakes & he wasn't gonna let that happen.

he was so intent on matching pieces he didn't even realize this pic was taken. he lined the men up on the table with torsos & legs that he wanted to go together. without knowing what went together he did a pretty good job of setting them up for me. every now & then i had to check with him that he really wanted these green legs with this pink woman & he'd correct the setup he had. we worked on the men for about 2 hours. after each man he would give me a big hug & kiss to encourage me to go onto the next. i had to get my glasses & have several beers to get through the whole mess but in the end we were quite pleased with our selves.

he made me show each one & get a pic with it when i finished. for prosterity of course. he also made me promise i'd blog about it all so we could save the memory of the night. the kid was really excited to get all those new gi joes. in the end we would up fixing a total of 13 men. i got lots of hugs & kisses & jammer lined them up to show all his new men.

i'm not sure where number 13 went but i know there was 13 when we finished. oh, snap, now i remember! number 13 was helping jammer take the pic.
and for the 'piece de' resistance'!! the television is advertising a wrestling ring with all the new wrestlers that jammer screams everytime it comes on tv....'I'M GONNA GET THAT FOR CHRISTMAS'!!.

later.

To The End

2008-11-04T21:19:00.005-05:00

well, all thats left is the counting. hooraaayyyy! i don't think i've ever been so glad to see an election end. this one has been long & brutal. all the slurs & kniving going on with the commercials. shheesshh. right now we're watching a neil young 'heart of gold' tape. i'm just bored enough with the election that i'll wait till all the votes are counted to find out who the new president is.
yes, i did my voting today. did you? not being politically inclined i just did my voting & got the hell out of dodge. some of my co-workers & friends took it all a few
steps farther than that. to the point of not making it to appointments, meetings & work. hell one of them got to work & had to go home cos they were so hung over. lets face it...if you have to spend more time in the bathroom than at your desk...you don't need to be there & you've probably overdone it a tad.
i hope the next 4 years go as well as that vote went for him. he's got a major job ahead of him. and my money. i hope i can keep more than he decides to give away. so, here's to our new president!!! may he be a good one. with the reports i've heard hopefully he'll live through the next 4 years. i don't want to sound like a crazy but wouldn't that be a shame?
PS...did i mention what a historical event this all was? WOW!
later.

Priceless

2008-11-01T23:33:00.003-04:00

they were playing on the jungle gym. they decided to play catch but ix was the only girl in the mix & the boys tended to chase each other rather than pay attention to her. she did everything in her power to get the boys attention. which is normal for ixxie. she loves to have the boys chase her. pappaw says she'll be pregnant by the time she's 12. i'm beginning to believe he may be on to something.
hey, yooouuuu caaaan'tttt caaatch meeee! (in a sing-song kind of voice)
hey, iii'vvve gooot your guuun! (again with the sing-song voice)
hey, catch me!! (rather demanding voice)
hey, i'm faster than you, naaanner, naaanner!!
hey, dickhead!!!!!
Jungle Gym: $150.00
land payment: $312.00
look on her face when she realized Pappaw was standing in the doorway watching her every move: PRICELESS
where do they learn this shit? when i asked her she said 'the kids at school yell it all the time'.
when asked if she didn't know better than to call another kid a dickhead? 'yeah, but i didn't know you were listening'.
what to do?
i think i need to invest in dish liquid....for mouth washing. thats what my mom would've done to me.
later.

Shaking Hands With The Devil

2008-10-26T02:30:00.010-04:00

our guide was a ninja complete with black outfit & mesh facemask. we couldn't make out his face but he assured us he was our friend & was there to protect us. he explained as we walked down the gravel path that this was a facility for the people condemned to life in prison..for the mentally insane. their crazyiness was contained within the walls of the cages that we would be privvy to. (actually we were in the kennells of the animal hospital) he went on to inform us that they couldn't reach us so we were quite safe but they would beg us to help them...to be prepared.... and it was haunted by his former director that died while being tortured by the inmates after they captured him one evening. jammer was completely taken in. ixxie was a little uncertain but both were being very brave in the beginning. our guide lead us through tunnel after tunnel of inmates screaming & kicking to be released. they were wild haired, wild eyed with blood everywhere. some were jasons, some were wild haired women with missing limbs, some were knife weilding maniacs, some were killer clowns, one was cutting off his own leg to escape. there was strob lights everywhere & really dark corners where monsters & killers hid really well. that damn ninja that was supposed to guide us kept disappearing on me & everytime he did another scary, bloody thing came out of the dark to get us! at the end of some of the tunnels were surgeons with blood & meat everywhere that came after us telling us this was one of the people from the last group that came through. it was fabulous!!! the minute we walked through the gate jammer started screaming he didn't want to go through. ixxie too. they wanted to turn back & get the hell out of, well, HELL!!!
we waited for the hayride while michael myers made his way through the crowd. jammer noticed him coming up & attached to my leg like he was stink & i was shit. the killer stopped at ixxie while she was busy yapping at pappaw & when she finally glanced around she found herself eye to eye with him which totally scared the shit out of her. she nearly jumped over pappaw getting away from him. after he left she said, 'that was totally uncalled for!' she dressed as a witch.
jason climbed onto the trailer during the hayride & freaked everyone out as he slashed his knife throught the air. jammer saw him coming & said to me 'that scary man is coming, memaw save me'??? he dressed as ZORO
he made me stop as we got off the hayride to thank the driver & make friends with him. the driver shook his hand & gave him a high five telling him how brave he had been. i don't think he was really watching when jason came up to us. he missed jammer clawing my arm off.
as we walked back to the car jammer saw jason again & pulled away from me to stop & make friends with him. he said, 'dude, if you promise you won't kill anyone else tonight i'll be your friend'. everyone got a big kick out of that. jason told jammer he was safe & he really wanted to be his friend so he wouldn't make anymore corpses tonight.
wasn't that sweet of the psycho?
later.

Deadly Cocktails Anyone?

2008-10-23T21:22:00.003-04:00

i don't think i mentioned that the lisinopril i'm taking is a derivitive of snake venom? cos i'm sure if i had you would be freaking out just like me. i didn't know that until after i'd taken it for a week. i haven't had any of the symptoms of the snake venom except the fatigue & the racing heart thingy a few times. most people have reactions almost immediately so i think i'm fairly safe to take it for awhile. like i said though, i don't plan on taking it indefinitely & i don't care what a thousand doctors say. speaking of what doctors say, wouldn't you think they'd give you some indication of what the fuck is in the drugs they prescribe for you? i mean, i'm fairly certain i'm allergic to snake bites. i've never been bitten by a snake & i don't plan on ever being but he could have, at least, asked if i'd ever been bite by a snake & did i have an allergic reaction? that might have been important!
i'm almost afraid to look up simcor. god only knows what its made from. recluse spider venom? nothing surprises me anymore. i've had half a century to adapt.
later.

Waaahhh, Crybaby At Large

2008-10-22T20:51:00.003-04:00

sorry for the awol!! i'm still here just been really busy. i've had a few more dr's appointments. honestly, i'm gonna quit going to him. everytime i walk in his office he finds something else wrong with me & wants to add another med to the list. i think he's paying me back for beating him at the diabetes game. i've lost almost 30 pounds & my blood sugar is reading fine now. he's decided i have high cholesterol & hypertension. he's put me on lisinopril for the hypertension & wants me to start taking simcor for the cholesterol. funny how i can take the lisinopril when its not supposed to be taken by diabetics. you'd think if i was prediabetic before i'd still be considered prediabetic even if i have the sugar count down? i'm gonna fight him on these things too. i have started taking the lisinopril & i'll take it till my blood pressure goes down & i'll probably do the same with the simcor. after i get all that down though, i'm gonna go off the meds & try to control everything with a healthy lifestyle. i'd fight him on it from the get go but i don't want to have a heart attack cos i was too stubborn to work with him. if it takes at least 6 weeks to get cholesterol down i'm afraid that might be pushing my luck. i think he gets a kickback from the drug companies if he makes me take their drugs. who are we to question them? what the heck do i know about doctoring? hell, the only thing i know about birthing babies is how to push!!
i have been reading you all. i've just skipped posting with my wahwahs. anyway, i'm still here & i'll be back sooner the next time. until then, miss me!
late.r

My Point In Life

2008-10-11T23:41:00.005-04:00

it would be so nice to have the simpleness of a child. jammer was telling me about the school losing him. he had no fear but was having a great time in the new classroom. they were doing things his class wasn't allowed to do so he jumped right in clueless to the havoc his disappearance was creating. wouldn't it be nice to not have a care in the world? isn't it a shame that the first thing we think of is someone stealing our kids & taking them to do whatever ungodly thing that could be done to them? he lives in such a protected world where theres nothing more to worry about than getting to play with the new puppies or beating his sister to the playstation. i was so relieved that he was safe & thankful that he wasn't a victim of some horrendous crime that all i wanted to do was cry. and hug the stuffings out of him. this weekend i get to shower him with all the relief & huggins all by himself. i'm eating this time up! i love it when ixxie goes somewhere else for the weekend. her absence always makes such a big difference in the time we can spend with jammer. she's a very demanding little girl & way too high maintainance for her age. everything is a fight when she's around. she has to be first at everything & always the best!!! if you don't brag on her she goes off to cry or pout for hours. god forbid jammer gets a drink that she didn't get or an apple that she wasn't offered first. i don't understand why, her being the big sister, she isn't more thoughtful of him but she doesn't get why he's the one more babied. i can't get it through her head that he IS the baby. mommy & daddy will never have any more & he's my last chance at babying anyone. i'm sorry that she's not my baby. i'm sorry that she didn't know the love that jammer has known since birth but thats not my fault. she wasn't a part of our family when she was a baby. i don't point these things out to her because i don't want to hurt her but i can't change life. i can't change her life. i can change who she is by sharing my love with her now but i'm tired of taking away from him cos she didn't get to experience this from the get-go. i feel sorrier for jammer cos he's had to take a back seat to her for most of his life just because she was so screwed up when we first met her. now she's alittle older i'm trying to get her out of that demanding attention 24/7 & accepting that there are other people that need things too. and its jammers turn to be the main attraction. my main attraction! my last baby! my only grandson! and he is the apple of my eye. i'm not gonna apologize for that. to anyone.
later.

Stupidity 101

2008-10-07T21:46:00.003-04:00

schools have hundreds of kids to look after. i'm totally aware of this. i sympathize with them for this. it has to be hard to keep up with an unruly bunch of kids yelling, laughing & chasing after each other. but when they do a bus evacuation drill i would expect the bus drivers, teachers & older students to be especially aware of where the kids are & where they end up. not to lose kids seems to be a reasonable thing to expect out of them. if i put my kids on a bus & trust you to take them to a designated place you better bet your sweet ass that i expect you to get them there without misplacing them. wonder why i'm ranting about this? guess! oh yeah, you know it!! the assholes lost my baby boy. for 3 hours!!! then called home to find out why he wasn't at school. they finally found him in another classroom where the teacher hadn't even noticed she had an extra kid. i've got to ask how stupid are these people? he's 5 & nobody knew where he was. thank god he turned up safe & sound but believe me it doesn't give me much faith in his school.
later.

Its The Big One

2008-10-02T21:10:00.005-04:00

it just amazes me how fast time can fly. it seems like i just posted yet when i look at the date its been 7 days. well, when it comes to blogging the time flies. my work day seems to drag & the time between is never there. this week has felt like a month. its because i'm kind of excited to get to the weekend. i've got lots to do with rearranging, cleaning, winter clothes to swap out, honey do's that honey don't & junk like that. not having the kids this weekend was a sweet unexpected break that gives me some time to get that stuff done. the icing on the cake is hubbys parents are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, which i should attend cos 50 is a big one, but i can actually skip. i figure they have the rest of the family & especially the new grandbaby so i probably won't be missed. do i feel guilty? well, yeah, but i have so much to do that with hubby out of the house i can get down to & not have anyone under my feet while i do it. what do you think? if you could see my house it would help you make up your mind but its so filthy right now i'm embarrassed to show you. ok, to give you an idea i'll show you one corner of the living room. where all the junk has been piling this week while i do other things around the house. this: i will show you. its enough to make me cringe. that corner is full of so much junk it took 10 minutes to just upload the pic. usually i use the kitchen table as a catchall but of the things in this pic one is a new table for the microwave that wound up getting piled on & another is a new plant stand for the window that hubby went ahead & put together. which also wound up as a catchall for the time being. the kitchen table was spared but now i have 2 things to empty instead of my standard one, bar style, table. don't ever tell me i don't air my dirty laundry!!! my mother is holding her heart at this mess.

later.

Preservation

2008-09-25T22:45:00.013-04:00

thanks to all of you that commented on my last post. some of it was fun. some of it was 'oh, yeah, i forgot to mention i'm doing that'. like parking farther from work & walking the extra distance. i also take my dog for a walk every night when i get home from work. i walk on the treadmill at least half an hour every night as well. i shop at least twice a week & women? they know how to spend some time when it comes to shopping. i can be on my feet walking for hours when it comes to shopping. during the warm days i was swimming for 2 hours a day but now thats gone so i've tried to pick up extra exercise where i can. i got a rope for jumping but i haven't started that yet. i'm almost embarrassed to jump my fat ass in front of my neighors. man, i don't think they deserve that. but then they might get a kick out of watching me black my eyes. you know, the boobs? they tend to bounce vigorously! i'm afraid to jump in my house. it might not stay standing & i know the things inside wouldn't survive. mostly, i was talking about detoxifying my body to, like, preserve it....for eternity or at least the next 80 years. cos thats what i want to live for, you know? have you seen some of the pics of older woman with all that sagging skin? its ugly. this is not what i expect to look like. i want to look good when i walk down the street. or beach. whichever. so, i figure if i start working on preserving me now i can skip the ugly old lady syndrome & just always be the beautiful, young looking, foxy thing that i've always dreamed of being. i've got 80 years to get there. i can do it, right? oh damn, i think i blew that pic up too big. you can't see it as well as i wanted you to. but you get the picture, right?
and while i'm talking about beaches i still have friends without power from ike. hubby went over & helped one plant a telephone pole tonight. when i say 'plant' i literally mean dug a hole, raised the 30 foot pole & set it in the hole. stamping the earth back down around it, watering in the planted pole & more dirt packed on top of that. the energy company still can't get to all the people. some of them have trees that pulled right out of the ground taking with them telephone & electric poles. have you seen any of the pics from the damage done by ike? i found these & thought i'd share with you: this is from the space hubble. one lone house left standing in gilchrist texas.

debri blown ashore in galvaston.

a man clearing a drain in the street.

i've seen some pitiful pics that i just couldn't bring myself to post here. but this is an inkling to the devastation from ike. 12 days later & there are still people without electricity clear up here in ohio so you have to know it was detrimental to the people closer to it. and we still haven't seen any rain. this is all gonna bite us in the ass years down the road still yet. we're still recovering from katrina. some of the people of louisiana aren't in their homes yet & now ike blows through & just creates more havoc. thank god he didn't hit louisiana like katrina did. even still doing some damage in parts of that state. galvaston didn't get hit as hard because of their levee but it was bad enough. i guess haiti lost a lot of lives too. just too much. i don't know how much more those poor people can take. or lose.
i've still trying to reach my friend texas tammi with no luck. i just pray she & her family are all ok.
later.

Turning Points

2008-09-23T14:09:00.012-04:00

we all have times that we refer to as 'turning points' in our lives. i have several. i'm sure you do too.
when i was about 9 years old the first turning point was choosing to live with my dad instead of my mom. dad was married again while mom was still looking for mister right. i was brainwashed into thinking that my mom was too busy with her single life to raise kids. they convinced me that dad had more time & money to invest in my upbringing. they were right about the money but time? not. nobody mentioned love either. i was niave, not a deep thinker & the important things didn't come to mind. at that age i still took for granted that adults would make the best choices for me. notice 'for granted' is the operative words there.
the next was when i became pregnant with my son. i had to grow up pretty fast. yes, he was an unplanned event in that time of my life but no, i wouldn't change a thing and before anyone gets the wrong idea i was married but i did that too young as well. had i waited to get married i may never have had sonny. after all i waited to have a 2nd one & that never happened. timing IS everything & i don't care what anyone says.
the 3rd was when i lost my mom. i no longer had my best friend & confidante. that pretty much left me devastated.
4th was marrying my present hubby. i won't go into my situation cos that isn't the point i'm trying to make here. enough said?
the 5th was the birth of my grandson. that was when i decided it was time to take better care of myself & make sure i was around for the duration. i want to see him & my granddaughters grow up, get married & have kids of their own. i want to know my great grandchildren & i want a long, long life to enjoy that time.
which brings me to the point of this post. i've reached another turning point. last saturday, i lost another cousin. they say she died of a heart attack. she wasn't 50 yet. i started thinking about it & realized that not one of my cousins have lived past the age of 55. thats only 4 years away & i can't have that. it just doesn't fit into my plans. right now i'm thinking i'm looking death right in the eyes & its a mexican standoff. so, heres the plan. i've found a detoxifying recipe for my liver. i'll work on that tomorrow. i've also seen these patches that you can put on your feet for detoxifying your body. they're on my list of must haves. i've given up fats, which is most foods. i'm working on giving up alcohol & soda. give me a break. i can't give up everything at once. i have given up several sodas a day & now i drink more water than anything. cigarettes are on the list but i have to lose my weight before i can give them up. they tell me i'll gain at least 20 pounds when i quit so i have to lose a little more before i attempt that. after all if i only lose 25 & gain back 20 i'm fucked before i get started. other than going on pure oxygen & putting myself on a donor list for replacing everything in my body i'm out of ideas. if you have ANY ideas for me, PLEASE, don't hesitate to let me know. they say 2 heads are better than one so i'm thinking a whole village has to be great. all ideas are acceptable & if it sounds stupid its probably the one thing that will work. spit it out. speak up. remember, this is for my great grandchildren.
later.

They Dance For The Money

2008-09-21T00:23:00.004-04:00

i'm the biggest loser in the whole world. i suck! where is my brain for the most important things that go on in my life? out to lunch, obviously. always, this time of year, our organization has its major fund raiser of the year. the black tie gala affair of the year that the whole tri-state attends. its the kick ass party of the year & what did i do? forgot my camera. stupid, stupid, stupid! it takes us 15 months to plan & we are constantly working on it in the background the whole 15 months. we choose a theme, plan the event, hire the band, arrange for the tents, set up air conditioners, set up heaters, set up backup generaters, engage chefs & restaurants, hosts & hostesses, rent accessories, make centerpieces, bring in photographers, send out rsvp's, assign tables, assign bid numbers, request contributions, collect contributions, pick up said contributions, hire bartenders, arrange for animal appearances, yadda, yadda, you get the point, we start from scratch & organize an entire event. and i forgot my camera. of all the things that we consider important, i forgot one of the most important items of the night. the saving it for prosterity, the capture of memories, the share all of the group that actually creates the entire event & i dropped the ball. yes, we bring in photographers to take pics but they never get around to us: the ones that actually pull the whole thing together. they take pics of all the action going on. i never saw one point a camera in our direction. i saw them carrying their equiptment around, with the tripods & the lens that were longer than my arm but never once did they point it at the people that make the event actually happen. oh well, i know & you know now. although we may never get credit for all the work, we were a major part of the most money brought in for the year. our animals never see where the money comes from but they live a better life for all our efforts. thats our contribution. thats our payoff.
and it was a really good time to be had by all. we got to see a lot of inebriated people, that tickled the hell out of us, spend a bunch of money on items that will support a lot of really good living for a great exhibit of animals. i love our zoo.
later.

Ike

2008-09-17T21:29:00.010-04:00

ike blew through here with a vengeance...leaving 700,000 people without electricity. 700,000. thats a lot of people. we stood in the front yard & watched as trees, sheds, skirting, small dogs & debri whisked by us. it was frightening. the crashing sounds all around us & the electric kicking off & on. everyone i know lost power. the clouds were zooming across the sky as black as coal while it was full daylight. we kept expecting rain but that never happened. we helped neighbors snag their skirting & garden gnomes as they skipped across the yards. the winds reached up to 84 mph & our house literally rocked. not with fun. not with sex. just wind. ike was brutal. i can't tell you how many doors hubby knocked on to make people aware that their homes were falling apart. roofs blew off. we had an elm tree as big around as a car fall across the road blocking everyone in or out. i heard later that we had 3 deaths.
sonny came up to pick up the kids & had a terrible time getting here. there were power lines & trees all over the roads the entire way up here. he actually thought he was going to have to turn around & go back.
it was hard not to giggle with pure fright as i watched all the things fly by my head. folks, i was scared. honestly, theres not much that scares me but that was something i'll never forget. going to bed that night was even weirder. there wasn't a sound to be heard. not a car, not a cricket, not a tree frog, nothing, not even the breeze. it was total silence.
4 days later there are still lots of people without electricity. some with cars still sitting under down poles with live wires. my inlaws are still waiting for their electricity to come back. i heard on the news tonight that the police are arresting people for threatening energy workers. like its their fault. fucking rednecks. its all about them.
i know most of the people that comment here aren't from around here. i do have texas tammi that reads me. i have to visit & see how she's doing. anyone know people that were affected by ike? i hope they're all doing ok. we were lucky.
later.

On His Game

2008-09-14T02:02:00.003-04:00

the marquee read 'baby openings'.
hubby said, 'isn't that called vagina's'?
sometimes i wonder about him. he just has a sick humor. course, thats what attracted me to him in the first place. too bad he's not lucid enough most of the time to entertain me like this. he used to be. when i first met him, he was always on top of his game. a quick thinker, entertaining & always quick with the wit. sick wit. quick sick wit. thats what attracted me. what does that make me?
a sick quick wit twit?
yeah, thats me.
later.

The Right Vote

2008-09-09T19:42:00.005-04:00

tell me why the closer it gets to election day the more people think they're political genius'? i don't get it. people i never heard a word even referring to politics come out of their mouth & now all of a sudden they're experts. they try to tell me who to vote for & what their political stance is. i watch the news & i hear the speeches. so, why do they think they're gonna teach me something that i missed? even my mother is pumping politics down my throat.
i also hate the blame game the politicians all play. i hate the slander & i hate the digs they take at each other. i hate the stupidity that comes out of their mouth. i know one of them have to win but the way they go about slamming each other is just ridiculous. i wonder what would happen if a politician just decided to run on his own merits & not try to take the other one down with all the slander. i think i'd vote for him just because it would take a decent human being to just run for election. tell me what your agenda is & don't worry about the other guy. personnally, you'll impress me a lot more if i know you're just concentrating on yourself. why waste your money on commercials that tell us about the other guy? don't worry about the skeleton in the closet. we all know its there. you know, we people talk amongst ourselves. we find out about the thesis & the son in the army. we find out about the wives that go the extra mile & the candidate that was a pow. the news stories & the internet is out there for all of us to learn what we need to know. do they really think they're telling us something we didn't know when they accuse each other of the stupidity that is in their backgrounds? the associates they have or the friends they won't admit to now? why, why why do i have to listen to all the stupid shit, thats clogging each candidates brain, that has no bearing on what kind of president he'll be? obviously, they think we're a bunch of idiots & all we want is a bunch of gossip. not me. i just want a decent person in the house. we're talking history in the making & all they want to talk is smack! i want someone that wants what i want. i want low taxes, free healthcare, affordable housing, good relations around the world, to save the animals, work to save the trees & the ecology, no smog, cheap trash efficient burning cars, clean water, safe children, truth, liberty & justice for all, abundant fuel, abundant food, happy constiguents, safe driving & affordable insurance, free speech, no war, people you can trust with a gun, clergy we can trust, easy retirement, love your god, i want neighbors to look out for each other & i don't want no fucking rock throwing!!! play nice! and for gods sake don't mess with your neighbors wife. don't create skeletons & there won't be skeletons. fuck all this noise!
I WANT ME FOR PRESIDENT!!!!
i'll step away from the podium now. thank you for listening.

Our Grandparents Day

2008-09-06T01:40:00.005-04:00

today we went to jammers school to do a grandparents day celebration with him & ixxie. it was a lot of fun & i was really proud to be there for them.
it was ixxies class we met with first. we had snacks & juice with her & she took us to her classroom to show us her desk & what her class was doing. she was so hyper i couldn't hardly get her to stand still for a pic. i did manage to get a few pretty good ones though. i just kept snapping till some came out good. she was so busy proudly yelling to all her classmates, this is my grandparents. (isn't she a cutie?) unlike jammer who sat pretty still with us & snacked on a cookie which he lost interest in pretty quick when we asked him to show us his classroom. he's never been one to want too much sweets. he'd rather have a banana than a cookie any day. his teacher seemed to be handling the day much better than ixxie teacher. i met ixxies teacher once when we were having the snacks but i didn't see her again the whole time we were there. jammers teacher came to us several times telling us how much she loved him & taking pics with him & of us. last year they made a dvd of all the things they did throughout the year & i'm sure this is gonna be part of that dvd at the end of the year. i'm gonna look like a cow but thats ok. i wasn't the fattest or the oldest grandparent there. i'm on a winning streak here people.
jammers teacher also made up a song about grandparents & the kids all sang it for us. then they sang the song 'you can' & i got that on video. one of these days i'll figure out how to upload that here & i'll share some of my videos with you. i have jammer saying the pledge to allegiance that is so cute you'll just eat it up.
happy grandparents day to those of you who are grandparents. the rest of you that aren't grandparents yet really have something to look forward to. you just never realize how much you're loved until you get to attend the celebration these little people set up for you.
later.