Tightrope Walking

Sorry i haven't been telling you whats going on these days. its been so hot that we've been spending most of our time at the pool. They don't recommend computers in the pool. I think something to do with your pc not being water retardant. Unless maybe if I add a card. Too bad they haven't invented that yet. But you know with my luck it would never work. Or maybe the electric is what doesn't work with the water. I can never be sure about these things. I'm confused!
So, we changed hard drives & this mother will fly. Now. When we first changed it over though I thought we really messed it up. It would boot to the windows screen & there it would hang. I kept asking hubby if he was sure everything was hooked back up the way it was & he actually got mad at me for asking. He insisted it was all exactly like it should be. Me being the believing soul I am, I worked & struggled trying to fix it. I read everything I could on the web about what went wrong but nothing answered my questions cos nothing worked. Damn, I thought I was gonna have to start from scratch & just reformat...losing all my programs & having to re-enter everything. So, I took the pc apart & started to remove the hard drive to put the old one back in. Wanna guess what i found? Let me reiterate....hubby said everything was right. When i say I'm confused you haven't seen confused until you see hubby in his GREAT confusion! So, the cd rom wasn't plugged in & after plugging it in I crossed my fingers & started it up one more time. Yep, it fired up & everything is hunky dorey. I should have known not to listen to him. We replaced a cdrw in his brothers computer last year & he said it was set as slave but after 2 days of trying I couldn't get it to work. Finally taking it apart & starting from scratch discovered it was set as master & that was the problem with that. So, it was my own fault for not checking it sooner & just relying on a man or doing it myself & making sure to do it right for that matter.
We've been very busy at work too. The summer renewals are in full swing plus our direct mail piece has brought quite a bit of new members in.
I have to ask a question. Does this sound right to you? We had a meeting about making membership move a little faster. As in getting the fulfillment done quicker. They've been kicking around ideas for about 5 years now but nothing ever seems to get done. So this meeting was to come up with some new ideas (to not use) for streamlining our entry & making a quicker turnover. The powers that be were asking us what the problems were. So, we started naming them. Well, mainly I started naming them cos nobody wants to stir a simmering pot. Thankfully, every now & then someone else would speak up & add that what I was saying was the problems plus maybe add something that I hadn't mentioned yet.
So in the middle of one of my 'problem points' one of the people running the meeting smacked her hand on the table & said ' what is it gonna take to make you happy?' Then realized how it sounded & added a giggle & said 'what can we do to make you see the glass half full'. That joke hasn't been funny for along time and i don't want to hear it anymore. The glass is half full alright but not with anything I would recommend you count on. I see it as shit cos that's what they're full of. Of course I can't say that in a meeting but most of my coworkers know how I feel about this. They keep making us promises but never come through with anything. This year we didn't even get a cost of living raise. I mean think about it, the price of gas, food, cigarettes, housing & booze, hell, just plain living, has all gone up without a raise. Makes for stretching the budget a whole new ball game. Anyway, back to my point. It really pissed me off when she smacked that table like that. I feel like she owes me an apology. Am I wrong or is this the way people act in meetings? Am i walking a tight rope & gonna fall on my face? Or do I demand a little respect & ask for an apology? What would you do....
Well, now that I got that off my chest on to some good news. Tomorrow is hubbys' birthday. Makes him closer to being old. hahahahahahaha
like me.
gotta go,
later

Like Shit...Birthdays Happen

Today is a day that I try to overlook.
If I can.
I try not to answer the phone, I don't check email, I take the day off work & I don't open my door so I don't have to listen to EVERYONE telling me happy birthday cos frankly...it's not. My family, they know the date. They know my age. They know how bad I hate birthdays. Doesn't matter. I can't really get away from hearing the dreaded birthday song. I try. I want to just lay in bed & let the day go by without coming out from under the covers. But some people just refuse to allow me that luxury. They insist I'll want to hear from them. They're wrong. But I'm nice & allow them their illusion that I really just hold my breath until I hear from them.
Get the idea?
I hate birthdays!
It's just another fucking day that I ache & make myself keep going. It's better than the alternative, right?
I'm going back to bed now.
later.

The Bitch Is Back

I"m baAAck.....what the hell....you didn't even notice I was gone, did you? I know, I know. Way too much going on in everyone's life to miss some dorky bitch that writes about her waa waa life & her grandkids. (Which by the way are growing up on me) But seriously! It would've been nice if just one of you had missed me. Or thought about me for that matter. Did anyone try emailing me? Or visiting my Facebook page to see what I was up to? Would it have killed you? What kind of friends do I have anyway?
Wow, that was nasty. Where did that come from? I think my crazy just kicked in. Well, it is 2 am & I'm sober. So, yeah, I'm a little cranky.
Nah, just kidding. Sober doesn't faze me anymore. I quit drinking over a year ago. So, let me start over for reals now.
Hey All! I'm baAAck! And when I opened my blog last week & started going through my side bar of blogs I was really amazed at how many of you aren't as lazy as me. You still have a blog that you actually update on a daily basis. Some of you have gone on to write books, changed partners or just omitted one, had babies, moved to other states & in one case, just like me, quit blogging only to come back in full force....lots of changes. And as they say 'life goes on'.
So, anyways, watch for me to start ranting again. Cos yeah, my life has been going on...and on!
later

P.S. AND BTW
Happy New Year Everyone!!! May It Be The Best Year Ever!

An Old Post

where has the time gone? ummm, i know! to hell & back & so have we!!! remember the jock itch i supposedly had? turns out its not jock itch. the dr doesn't know just what it is but i still have it. i've been on a regime of lotions & anti itch creams. they kinda help but nothing seems to be getting rid of it. yeah, i know, its time to go to a dermatologist.

sonny finally got out of jail. he didn't stay out. in july his family was chosen to be guests at the speedways nascar event this summer. it was a major event. the first time a nascar race was being held at the new speedway in ky. they were allowed to camp the whole weekend & attend all the races. they got to sit in the viewing box. nascar shirts were given to all of them & they were to meet the drivers & get their autographs, spend time in the race pits, they were even scheduled to attend a dinner. well, he planned to camp out & take them up on all they had to offer. he chose to try & steal a few things he needed to camp out & low & behold, the things he chose to steal turned out to be his downfall. he took batteries & a propane tank. when he got caught they charged him with theft but after learning he had charges from back in dec. they added manufacturing meth to his charges. i really don't get how they can charge you for cooking something when you haven't even walked out of the store with your stuff yet but thats what they've done. and god only knows i don't think sonny is a saint but i think mr. justice is just making the rules up as he goes.

papaw wound up in the hospital for several weeks & honey decided to ignore the courts demand she be supervised with the kids. child services showed up at her door & she lied to them about the kids not being with her while ixxie stuck her head out the door to say hi to the child services worker. stupid, stupid, stupid. jammer was actually with me but because honey couldn't follow the rules the kids both were living in a foster home. the woman hated jammer & i actually have pictures of bruising on his arm where she yanked him around. hubby & i are were being investigated for custody. damn, i knew this was gonna be a mess & i was right. ixxie is 11 & wearing makeup. the whole situation is out of control & i'm about to lose my mind.

Rainy Days & Mondays

hey, that should be a song. oh, wait! i think it is. do you ever feel like bad luck follows you around like a black cloud? just sitting over your head so it can piss on you at any given moment? i don't know what i've done in my previous lives but whatever it is i think i'll pay for it as long as i exist. hubby has been laid off due to weather this winter has been brutal around here. snow started falling the first week of dec & it still hasn't quit. which means our income is cut to the barest minimum. i make ok money but its only one paycheck & i only get that 2 times a month. i hate the 2 week wait between paychecks & thats one of the great things about hubby working. not only is it extra money but he gets it every week. with sonny being in jail for christmas we went overboard to make sure the kids had a great christmas. in other words, we went broke. i can't think of another time that we completely depleted our bank account but this was special circumstances. well, hubby was called back to part time in feb. so things started looking up...till the car quit running. we have a second car, cherry the lebaron, but she wouldn't start either. all the water sitting on the roof & guess what that caused? yeah, a great big ole leak right in the middle of the kitchen ceiling. which i really don't understand cos hubby just coated the roof last summer except for that little black cloud that says if it can go wrong it will. pee, pee, poop!

later

This Love Is Just Grand

sonny has really done something stupid now. in his pursuit of the ultimate love life he got caught with another woman. he not only got caught with her but he had his son with them. and not only got caught with another woman with his son but was arrested with her...also, she had major drugs on her & now he's facing charges for those drugs. apparently, neither one would tell who's drugs they were so they charged both. i have to admit....sonny isn't perfect. but this is about as close to idiotic as i've ever seen him be.
it turns out, sonny called a pizza in & left home to pick it up. on the way he stops to visit with said girlfriend. they jump in her car & continue on to pick up the pizza so sonny won't be seen with another woman in his car & she promptly speeds through town doing 50 in a 35 mph speed zone. so she gets pulled over. little did sonny know but she has a record for, god only knows what all, but apparently drug possession. so they search her car & both of them. they find drug paraphenalia on her & in a coat in her car & she won't admit to the stuff being hers so they drag them all to the police station. my grandson, people, sitting in a police station with his father while they get booked! needless to say, because there's drugs involved the child services gets called in & they visited the kids in school. jammer is as innocent as they come. he never finds anything wrong with what his daddy does. as far as he's concerned daddy is a god & can do no wrong. ix on the other hand hates her life. she hates her mother, hates her brother, hates her room, hates her school, hates her hair...you get the picture? (except i guess she doesn't hate daddy)and she knows everything...well, just ask her! anyway, back to the story at hand, so she tells them she has seen mommy & a friend snuff something up her nose & to be honest, she probably has seen something. but she ran her mommy into the ground. so honey & sonny have to have drug tests immediately and are not allowed to be alone with the kids. i think i've mentioned that sonny takes care of my step dad. so papaws appointed to be a supervisor making it possible for the kids to live in the home just not given a chance to be exposed to any drug use. i was also required to become a supervisor in the event my step dad wasn't available. he has major medical issues & occasionally winds up in the hospital. can you imagine my horror as i type this? my son is facing major drug charges, my grandkids are facing foster care & i live in a different state & would have to undergo an investigation to be awarded custody of the them that would take months. not to mention i have to stay at their house in the event papaw does wind up in the hospital. i'm not sure how this is gonna turn out but i'll be here with new updates as they come in.

later

Whats Wrong With Kids Today

when we picked up the kids this weekend sonny was on a rampage. (the kids hadn't been good all week. sonny had to go to court with the kids & they ran on the steps, up & down the hallways & wouldn't sit down & behave. even sonnys lawyer got after them. how bad is it when your lawyer tries to discipline your children?) jammer came slamming out of the house saying he hated this house & he didn't want to live her anymore. well, that was the end of sonnys rope & he came after him. spanked his butt & told him to get in the car. sonny walked away to calm down & jammer realized he'd pushed too far. he started crying saying daddy didn't want to give him a kiss & hug goodbye. i called sonny over & told him to talk to his son. sonny said he didn't have anything to say. they didn't respect or love him & he was tired of trying. i said son, you never know whats going to happen. don't let us leave & your boy this upset over something. so sonny talked with jammer & they said they loved each other. jammer apologized for what he said & they said their goodbyes. that night went on as usual. the kids misbehaving & doing whatever they wanted. us begging them to behave. finally, i explained to the kids that they were going to have to earn their rights. the right to a clean bed, food, tv & respect. no toys, no games or computers. everything they had was there because we worked & strived to give them something to be proud of. she sat there & ignored me. jammer jumped up & went in to make his bed. he picked up the room & asked if there was anything else he could do to earn his keep. she sat there & ignored me. jammer aske if he could have a clementine. she sat there & ignored me. i took the book away from her cos guess what? they were my books & she hadn't done anything to deserve it. i asked her to go make her bed. she went & climbed in the bed to lay down. i said, guess what? thats my bed too. I bought it, i had my sister haul it & what did you do to deserve it? get out of my bed. she came out of the bed with this pooched out face & hard eyes staring at me. i told her she could sit in the middle of the floor & not to look at me like that. she said, 'why don't you hit me? i said not everything is about hitting. she asked again, why don't you hit me. i said i don't want to waste my time. she told me i was afraid to hit her. AFRAID? A-F-R-A-I-D? i jumped up so fast my head spun & hers? well, you can't imagine the look on her face when i grabbed her. i admit, i lost my temper. unfortunately, i didn't hurt her. i wanted to. god you don't know how bad i wanted to. she threw her hands up to protect her head & i hit her hand. i grabbed her by the hands & hanked her to her feet & said, you think i'm scared of you? you're not right little lady cos i'm far from scared of you. i'm so far from being scared to hit you that its not funny. i scared the shit out of her. then i sent her to the corner. where she's gonna stand until she apologizes. and means it. and me, i went to the bathroom & puked.
later