Hitchhiker

i work in a pretty bad neighborhood. i always scootch down in my seat & turn my rings around before i go through the city. this is no shit & i'm not being a wussy here. remember the big riot ordeal from the first part of 2001? they were rocking vans at stop lights & beating the shit out of strangers for the pure fun of it. not to mention all the store looting & shootings that were going on. that was right in the heart of where i work. as a matter of fact i can't tell you how many times i drove through that area wondering if i would be pulled from my car. i saw gangs of people running through the streets & they weren't friendly. some carrying bats, tire irons & bricks & that was just what i could see. god only knows what they had hidden. one day i was stopped at a stop sign when one of those groups ran right across the street in front of me. the last half of them actually stopped & looked dead at me before the person leading them called for them to come on. i nearly shit myself that day & wondered if i should continue to come to work until this was over. eventually it did calm down although the people in the area still hold a grudge. i know this too because one day my coworker, a black chic, needed a ride to a store a few blocks away & i offered to take her. while she ran in the store i waited in the car & one of the guys standing there looked at me & said 'i could shoot you'. i just looked away & prayed he decided against that but i never stopped at that store again & from then on before i took her anywhere i asked what kind of neighborhood she would have me in not to mention the places i went in with her instead of waiting in the car. so the people i work with was all really surprised at me friday when i got to work. i told them i picked up a chic on my way home the day before. i was stopped at a intersection waiting for traffic when this chic stopped at the corner to cross right in front of me. i motioned for her to go on but she said 'naw, you can go ahead'. i kinda giggled & told her i couldn't because of the traffic. she said, 'shit, then can you give me a lift'? 'where to'? she told me she just lived up the street which i knew was only 2 blocks long & dead ended into a one way street so i told her sure. she hopped in & proceeded to explain she had asthma & only had to walk a few blocks but was having trouble breathing. i agreed this wasn't the best weather to be out in with any kind of lung disease. she kinda checked me out & noticed i had cigarettes laying on my dashboard so she asked if she could have one. i gave her one & introduced myself. i mean if i'm sharing she might as well know who she's bumming off of. she told me her name was kiki but everyone called her star. by that time we were at her house. an apartment building on the far corner. she said she lived right there in number 8.
'you could stop by if you wanted but don't bring any strangers'.
'thanks, i might take you up on that'.
'do you get high', she asked.
'no, i get drug tested'.
'got an money'?
'maybe a quarter, i don't carry money on me'.
'can i get another cig'?

i gave her the pack.
'you're nice lindy, we could be friends'. and we said our goodbyes.

i killed a roach crawling up her seat in the next block. nope, that friend thing ain't gonna work for me.

Driving Ms. Lindy

i pulled up to the light & a little red car came up next to me on my right. the woman was mouthing something so i rolled my window down on that side. she said, 'i just wanted to commend you on your driving etiquette'. i asked ' is that sarcasm? what did i do?' she said 'no, seriously, i've lived in this area all my life & nobody ever uses turn signals. i've been behind you for about 10 blocks & noticed you use turn signals at every corner & even when you just wanted to change lanes. its nice to know that some people still use courtesy when driving'. 'well, thank you. my husband always tells me i'm the nicest driver on the road too'.
the light changed & i started to pull forward: when she pulled right in front of me from the right turn lane AND she didn't use her turn signal to do it!
while i'm on the subject of my drive home. one of the streets i drive on my way to work is called 'chapel'. this street has a few nursing homes, a childrens home, a school, a store & a church. everyday on my way to work theres a van that parks on the side of the street & about a dozen people pour out of it. i'm assuming they're there to visit someone in the nursing home although i can't swear to it cos they park right in the middle between the nursing home & the childrens home. everyday its the same thing. in the afternoon when i come back through there is trash everywhere in that vicinty. (you'd think someone would put a garbage can right there). sometimes the people would still be there dancing, laughing, hugging or chatting. theres also a bunch of milk crates from the corner store turned upside down sitting everywhere. this has been going on everyday for the 11 years i've worked in the city. for the last 2 weeks that van hasn't been there. i'm also assuming here that this is a bad omen. i think someone died. whether its the person they visited in the home or the person driving the van i'm not sure. something has changed for that family. i've wondered alot about that family for years now. i think i miss them. makes me wish i had stopped at some point & gotten to know them. i know that sounds kind of strange but i'm a softie. i've caught myself praying for that family. i hope whatever happened it wasn't unexpected or devastating. i hope it was the easy passing of an elderly person that had a long happy life with lots of wonderful memories. i know the memories i have of them all standing around dancing & laughing is something, i'll never forget. i only hope that when i get old (assuming i live to be old) my family wants to come see me & laugh with me until i pass like that family did for whomever they visited. if i can still blog i'm gonna let you know how that turns out.
later.

ONE Half Century

happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you,
you look like a monkey
and i have jock itch for you!
yep! you read that right. i've spent many, many hours in the pool with the kids this summer. something i've always done. but this year they haven't taken care of the pool like they should. lots of days when we go the water has been cloudy & the jets aren't working very well. i really didn't worry about it too much cos i was under the assumption that chlorine in the pool would mostly kill any bacteria that might be living in there. turns out i was wrong. tinea is the creepy little fungus that causes jock itch & it can appear almost anywhere on your body. living in your bathing suit apparently gives it a damp place to grow. now i know all this after reading up on what it was. you can bet i don't keep my suit on after getting out of the pool now & i don't let the kids run around in theirs anymore but can you say 'thats after the fact'? i'm also pool shy! i've only been in once since i've turned up with this & that was only cos it was so friggin hot i couldn't stand it anymore. with the temperature & the heat index combining to a riduculous 110 degrees it has just been too much! i've been itching myself raw & bathing in epsom salt & rubbing all kinds of medicines on me. i've almost reached the point of shaving myself to stop the matting from the creams &.....nevermind, we're crossing the line between 'information & too much' so i'm gonna stop here.
hubby turned 50!!! finally hit the big FIVE O. yep, and i'm agonna tell ya what: he's been a bear for almost 2 weeeks. like he's the only person in the world that hated to turn 50. pfft. puhhllleeezzzeee! i'm ready to tear his eyebrows out one by one. then i want to start on his mustache. then i'm going for the groin hairs. you have to understand! he's been horrible! the kids can't stand him, i can't stand him & he can't stand himself.
i thought for sure with the jock itch i'd get out of the birthday sex that he expects (with glee). especially that he wasn't looking forward to this birthday anyway. but alas, no such luck. he mentioned it a few days ago & i said 'you sure you want to take a chance with getting this'? he looked at me like i was a slab of meat. 'i don't have to have missionary sex, your mouth isn't broke'. 'oh, so i can give you a blow job except don't you think maybe this peeling on my hands might have something to do with the jock itch'? 'didn't you just buy latex gloves for painting'? well shit, i couldn't win so sex he got & still he was a bitch. and he didn't get jock itch either. damn, karma isn't on my side lately & i've reached the point of too much again, huh? sorry.
i'm going now.
later.

Facebooking It 24/7

who all has a facebook page? i fought it forever. i avoided it like the plague. i thought it would be one of those fly by night social things like linked in, tagged, mylife, meetup, you know the ones. there's so many pages out there that tried to make it but haven't turned into anything. i did join linkedin, thinking when i received an invite from a coworker, that might be a smart business move. well one day i ran into a friend from my high school days & he had just attended a party for his brother. he invited me to be his facebook friend to see the pics he had taken at the party so i was forced to bow down to greater forces & made the damn page. its turned out to be pretty cool. i've connected with family i haven't seen in 30+ years. i've also connected with a boatload of kids i went to school with. i've seen some cool links & great pictures. i've also had lots of friends that play the games, who once they found out i was on facebook, decided it was new blood to get involved in the games. therefore i'm playing all these stupid games that take up way too much time. although i do really like the Mafia Wars game. the rest of them are just pains in the ass. i spend way too much time collecting gifts & sending them to really enjoy playing them too much. the only bad thing about Mafia Wars is to have any real power you have to have 501 members in your mafia & you have to invite them to be friends before you can accept them into your 'family'. which means you wind up with a lot of friends that you don't even know. so then you have to remember who is who so you send the right gifts to the right people. its a huge mind boggle! so i've created different groups to try & keep them all separate & then every time i add a new person or receive an invite i have to remember to add them to the right group. and if you get too many invites in a day you're screwed. you can only accept so many of each gift & a total of only so many gifts so you have to keep up with what you've accepted each day. if you accept or invite too many people in one day they can freeze you for a few days & on & on. not to mention with working all day i can't even start on facebook till after 6 when i get home. for some stupid reason the powers that be doesn't want to pay me for my time while i spend it playing games on facebook. does that sound reasonable? i let them play all day long & they make plenty of money for that. anyway, have i made my point about how aggravating this all is? i'm way too old for all this crap! not that i'm complaining. i love the shit out of facebook even though i mostly refer to it as facebroke. cos lots of time it doesn't work right & that's another aggravation for another whole post. kinda sounds like a love hate relationship, huh? or maybe i kinda sound like some kind of nut, huh? well, thats what facebook does to you.
so to get to the whole point of this post: i want to apologize for not posting more often. as you can see though, with facebook by the time i'm done with that the last thing i even have time for is blogging. plus i've already aired all my dirty laundry once & if i start all over here then i just sound like a whiner.
if you miss me & you want to check in with me in between times you can always find me on facebook. scan for lewlew57@hotmail.com in Ohio. not that i think there'd be too many lewlew's anywhere else but just to make sure you know you've narrowed your seach as much as you can & won't be too aggravated going through whatever that does bring up. at least i know you guys unlike knowing most of my mafia buddies, which i don't. so look me up. i've actually already hooked up with a few people i've met through blogspot. i'd love to see what you're up to as well.
and thanks for listening to my weirding out.
love ya'll.
later.

The Coolest Papaw In The World

we took the kids to see toy story 2 last weekend. it was a cute movie & they thoroughly enjoyed it. we all did. we giggled, ewwwed, ahhed & leaned with every character at the appropiate times. the 2nd movie was the 'a-team' which i really liked too but i think that was because i thought face was really hot. the kids were bored so papaw did the only thing a papaw could do. he entertained them while i drooled. being the special papaw that he is he took them to the lobby for popcorn & wangled them a tour of the projection room. danny, the nice projectionist, explained to them how the reels worked & the light put it all up on the big screen. they ate popcorn & hung on his every word. asking questions while they drooled over his job & totally made nuisances of themselves. they declared papaw 'the bomb' when they came back to the car. i can only hope that when we die they'll have some wonderful memories of us. they love the playground at the park & we always make sure we take them over to play. there's swings that have animal bodies on them that they just love. there's only 3 of them so they have to take turns with the other kids but they snag one as often as they can. jammer was climbing on the fort & was stung twice by wasps. poor feller had to act big so he didn't cry but you could tell it really hurt. we put some medicine on it & he & papaw went to let the concession stand know they had a wasps nest on the fort. they came over & jammer showed them where they were so they could spray the nest. after that he proceeded to show all the kids the sting marks so they understood why they couldn't play on the fort. it was cute the way he was so big about it all.
of course, the end of the night turned into a big fight cos ixxie decided jammers feet touching her blanket was more than she could take. honest when that child starts having periods i'll probably have to kill her. she's too much already. i know siblings have to fight but she starts over the craziest things. i know she's just gonna get worse as she gets older. i keep wondering what GOD was thinking when he hooked that sweet little boy up with that evil little girl as siblings. he told me when he 'got bigger than her he had a lot to avenge'. honest that was his words. and honest: i don't blame him at all.
later.

Zits & Scars & Hairs, OH MY

lately i've had a close brush with puberty. all over again. my face is so broke out i'm embarrassed to be seen outside. although i've spent a lot of time in the sun they seem to be getting worse all the time. not to mention when they heal they leave scars that are just hideous. so, i've invested in the 'proactive' acne plan. after receiving my box of goodies i used each product according to the instructions. for 2 days straight & since then i've been to busy to get back to it. now its a month later & i've received my 2nd shipment but i haven't hardly touched the first shipment. at this rate i'll have proactive for years to come. i still have one more shipment & 2 more payments to make.
i guess sometime in your life you revert back to puberty in so many ways. at the same time you experience the old lady syndrome too. as in: my hairs on my legs don't grow like they used to so i don't have to shave as much. at the same time my hairs on my chinny chin chin are going crazy. i refuse to shave my face! i've reverted to plucking my chin hairs instead of my eyebrows. they aren't growing so much either. after i started doing that i got this mental picture of my grandma walking around with a pair of tweezers feeling her chin. i was pretty young & i never made the connection. until now! i bout died when i realized that was what she had been doing. i am my grandma reincarnate!
later.

Graduation & Elation!

the school year is over & can you say 'hooorray'? everyone passed on to the next year. jammer is so proud of himself. he made it with lots of awards & recognition documents. one of his documents claimed that he could spell over 400 words accurately. when i congratulated him on so many words he told me, 'i know a lot, memaw'. we've been working on spelling & arithmatic with them both.
ix has become what she believes to be an adult (we shopped for bra's last weekend) questioning everything you ask of her & giving you that 'hmmff' attitude. jammer is still his sweet self & i'm praying he maintains that attitude regardless of how bad ix treats him. hopefully he'll grow up to be much bigger than her for his own protection & will make her life miserable when she starts dating. he makes buddies easily. brothers can be a bitch & she hasn't learned the worst of it. he'll have her dates playing games with him instead of pawing her like she is planning. she's already told me that she can't wait to have sex which kept her from being allowed to go to the swinging rope in the woods. can't trust her & its kinda the boys hangout. i refuse to be a great grandma before my time. ya know? besides, sonny would have my ass if she got pregnant on my watch.
sonny has been building on to his home & working as much as he can. making money for paying child support & supporting his family is taking its toll. he chews his jaw a lot & looks tired all the time. i wish i could do more to help him but unless i win the lottery that ain't gonna happen.
my mom has created a facebook page. ugghh. i haven't accepted her as a friend yet. i have my dads new wife on there & i really don't want her checking on me to see what dads up to. i know thats what will happen. i know my step mom. she thinks she's smarter than the average person but she doesn't have me fooled. i've grown up with her & i know her as well as she knows herself. my new step mom is a very nice woman & she makes dad happier than i can ever remember him being. he deserves that & i'm happy for him. besides that, he actually calls me now & wants to see me & my grandkids. i don't want to do anything to screw that up.
well, enough for now. i'm going to bed.
later.