Berries Of Some Sort

now....right now....in my home....on the couch. my husband is giving the dog raspberries. no, not the fruit...on her belly. with his mouth...blowing full force. right now...on the couch...i swear i think this drunk is crazy. i know my dog thinks he's lost his fucking mind. or maybe she thinks she's lost her mind & this isn't really happening. but someone isn't right. she's got this please help me...please save me look on her face. she's pleading with her eyes to please be released from this nightmare, make it stop! ms. m hasn't had the best week. she's had way too much company. she has seizures if she gets too excited. yes, she's been too excited. she's had several seizures both in the morning & evening. they're really weird. for no good reason, just all of a sudden, she starts stiffening up & her eyes get this glazed over look. when its over she's just fine but i hate like hell to watch her have them. we've tried several medications & we're still in the process of finding what works for her. did you know that cigarette smoke can make a dog have a seizure? who'd of thunk it? i was pretty amazed at the list of things that cause them or have been linked to them or is just someones know-it-all list. hell, the bird actually landed on her head bringing her out of a dead sleep. he flew off immediately & she didn't even know what hit her. that one was pretty funny but it did add to her stress level cos she had a seizure that night too. he's never offered to land on her before. near her, yes, he has no problem teasing her but never landed on her. she freaked out & jumped up so fast that i thought something bit her. she then did about 3 really fast circles looking at her tail that made me wonder if she had a dingleberry. she has freaked out over dingleberries before. by that time she noticed us laughing so hard we were crying & rolling on the floor so she stopped dead & just looked at us with her head quirked to one side as if to say 'ok. what the hell was that?'
ok. i have to go break this up. now he's giving her kisses on the head. remind me sometime to tell you how i came by this crazy dog i have. hey, that works for both of them, hubby & ms. m.
later.

Snow Way!

how weird is this weather? one day its 64 degrees outside & the next its down to 23. AND we have snow. i hate that shit. when is this global shift going to happen? i'm ready for the warm weather & let someone else have this snow shit. i don't want to move until i see how its going. my luck i'd move farther south & the snow would follow me. guess i'll just sit this one out & see what the rest of the year brings. course, if i move south i'm looking at hurricanes & that ain't good..
valentines day came & went without a hitch. by without a hitch i mean i didn't have to do it after all. come on people....you all know what the it thing is. there are just some things i know we all share in the dictionary of life.
it: a. the obligatory sex thing brought on by special days, known as holidays, et al, valentines day, christmas, new years, your birthday. b. sometimes due to pure lust or horniness. c. often due to drunken stupor.
yeah, that it.
so it hasn't been all bad.
today is jammers birthday. big guy is 3. he's at home with sonny & honey for a birthday party. funny thing is i was never verbally invited. i know i am without saying but just to not even been asked or have one of them say 'can you make it?' i'm not there. i think that says something. i don't know if my feelings are hurt or if its just me being me. think i ask too much sometimes? whatever.
i think i'll go lick my wounds.
later

Blow Out This Candle

yesterday was my sons 31st birthday. happy birthday, sweetie.
i promised him i wouldn't call him at 2:34 am to give him happy birthday wishes. or to remind him thats when he was born all those years ago. when we first met face to face. after he ripped me wide open!!!! i've missed one year of not calling him. that was only because his phone was turned off so technically i didn't miss it. he just didn't get the call. i love my boy. he does a momma proud.
later

Five Alive

5. he's a liar. is there anything worse than a liar? (besides a thief, but thats another post) i hate a liar. a friend's mother always said 'he'll lie when the truth will do'. it fits. cos it's not like i won't realize he lied. its not like i won't find the brakes that he didn't really put on the car stuck in the trunk. its not like when i go to get the a-drive that he supposedly took out of an old computer to replace in this one i won't discover that there it is....still in the computer.....even though he just told me it was laying inside the computer room on the desk. i might even accept that he misunderstood my question if the computer was sitting on that desk but its across the room piled in a corner all still intact. right where we left it. then he tries to convince me (the sober one) that he didn't just say that. he said that last night. the point? the a-drive is still not on the desk, not out of the computer, not ready to be used. what difference does it make when you told me the lie? the fact is he lies, again. did he not think i would notice when my car wouldn't stop at the light that maybe something was wrong? did it even dawn on him that i bought the brakes because the old ones weren't stopping me? he'd rather lie. 'yeah, honey, i did the brakes this morning before you got out of bed. does he convince himself that he really did it & what, i went behind him & undid the job so it just looked like he lied? did you pay the bills? 'yes, honey, i paid the bills'. then comes the notices that something is about to be turned off. hubby, you didn't pay the bills so what did you do with the money? he looks me straight in the eyes & swears he paid the bills. whatever. how do i deal with this? how do i respect this man when he lies to me like that?
its just another fault i find with the man i married. another reason why i hate him.
it just keeps getting better.
tonight he doesn't even know me. (sounds like a song) after 15 years together...13 married.. he tells me my eyes are brown. he's so saturated that he's forgotten the color of my eyes? maybe it was only for a second & the rest was trying to convince me that he loved me enough that the color of my eyes change for him with my mood. huh? why lie? just tell me you're drunk & can't answer that question right now. funny thing was, i didn't ask the question. we were watching 'monster in law' & j-low asked the question. he thought he'd be cute & answer it but damn, i didn't even ask for that hurt.
later

Pampering Myself

i'm all alone tonight. hubby took an overnight with his dad to visit family in Pa. which means i have 2 whole days to do the things i like to do. take long soaking bathes. use lots of perfume & smell goods. iron my hair & curl my lashes. give myself a pedicure & manicure. maybe i'll dress up in my princess dress & tiara & do some dancing. i just happened to remember that i don't do indoor exercise because everytime i try my drunk, funnier than life, hubby decides sticking a finger in my twat or up my ass is the way to encourage me to do more exercises. i don't know about you but when i want to exercise the last thing i want is a finger stuck up my ass. kinda defeats the purpose of tightening & toning the muscles. (well, the muscles i want to work on anyway) when i want to fuck, i fuck, with a vengeance but exercising is a regiment where fucking is an act of spontaniety.
and this didn't start as an 'i hate my husband' post. but come to think of it, i need to be fair to both myself & hubby. my last post should have actually been reasons 1, 2, 3 & 4 et al.
1. he's a drunk
2. he thinks he's so cute.
3. he thinks he's so funny
4. he jacks off to porn on my pc bringing on the bsod
so on to my night of primping & preening. no bad thoughts. NO BAD THOUGHTS.
later.

And I Think To Myself

i wish i could do it. i really wish it was that easy. stop my heart, my compassion for a fellow human being & just bitch out!! just sit down & pound out the thoughts that go through my head. i've said before how i could do a '100 reasons why i hate my husband' post and i could do it in under an hour. but he reads this blog. am i really that heartless? i can be really wicked with my tongue & use of some strong vocabulary. especially with someone that i know isn't gonna remember anything i say anyway. to put it down in writing where the world can read it & have him know everyone can read it is almost more than i can bring myself to sting someone. sting my ass, smash, crush, pulverize, ..... but god he makes it almost impossible not to be that mean.
then i think to myself.
1. i hate a drunk.. i hate a drunk that thinks he's the cutest, funniest, most entertaining person in the world. i beg him to sit down, don't entertain, don't talk, don't fall & please, don't puke....shut up when he's drunk & don't, don't, don't. just don't everything. i really get so tired of hearing the same things over & over.
maybe if i did the posts & actually laid it all out for him to see when he's drunk or sober, maybe, just maybe, it would sink in. maybe i'd actually get my wish & he would stop talking to me. nahh, i'd never get that lucky. but i am getting closer to posting those evil thoughts. the thoughts that would make some of you even cross the street to avoid me if you knew what evil treads there.
then i think to myself.
2. what made me go off this time? AGAIN? i sign onto my pc & get a blue screen of death....so I go into safe mode & find a shitload of porn sites. AGAIN. ummmm, what don't you understand that porn on the pc isn't a good thing? when do you realize that this is the people they warn you about. the ones that sew up your computer & put a hurt on you? buy a book, dude. don't fuck with my computer. AGAIN.
damn, guess i just started that list, didn't i?
i can't wait to see where this goes.
later.

Timing

hey, i've officially had 1000 hits as of today.
not that i have alot to say but thanks to all who've helped me get here.
here's to a new year of great posts, greater times & greatest prosperity.
later