Tightrope Walking

Sorry i haven't been telling you whats going on these days. its been so hot that we've been spending most of our time at the pool. They don't recommend computers in the pool. I think something to do with your pc not being water retardant. Unless maybe if I add a card. Too bad they haven't invented that yet. But you know with my luck it would never work. Or maybe the electric is what doesn't work with the water. I can never be sure about these things. I'm confused!
So, we changed hard drives & this mother will fly. Now. When we first changed it over though I thought we really messed it up. It would boot to the windows screen & there it would hang. I kept asking hubby if he was sure everything was hooked back up the way it was & he actually got mad at me for asking. He insisted it was all exactly like it should be. Me being the believing soul I am, I worked & struggled trying to fix it. I read everything I could on the web about what went wrong but nothing answered my questions cos nothing worked. Damn, I thought I was gonna have to start from scratch & just reformat...losing all my programs & having to re-enter everything. So, I took the pc apart & started to remove the hard drive to put the old one back in. Wanna guess what i found? Let me reiterate....hubby said everything was right. When i say I'm confused you haven't seen confused until you see hubby in his GREAT confusion! So, the cd rom wasn't plugged in & after plugging it in I crossed my fingers & started it up one more time. Yep, it fired up & everything is hunky dorey. I should have known not to listen to him. We replaced a cdrw in his brothers computer last year & he said it was set as slave but after 2 days of trying I couldn't get it to work. Finally taking it apart & starting from scratch discovered it was set as master & that was the problem with that. So, it was my own fault for not checking it sooner & just relying on a man or doing it myself & making sure to do it right for that matter.
We've been very busy at work too. The summer renewals are in full swing plus our direct mail piece has brought quite a bit of new members in.
I have to ask a question. Does this sound right to you? We had a meeting about making membership move a little faster. As in getting the fulfillment done quicker. They've been kicking around ideas for about 5 years now but nothing ever seems to get done. So this meeting was to come up with some new ideas (to not use) for streamlining our entry & making a quicker turnover. The powers that be were asking us what the problems were. So, we started naming them. Well, mainly I started naming them cos nobody wants to stir a simmering pot. Thankfully, every now & then someone else would speak up & add that what I was saying was the problems plus maybe add something that I hadn't mentioned yet.
So in the middle of one of my 'problem points' one of the people running the meeting smacked her hand on the table & said ' what is it gonna take to make you happy?' Then realized how it sounded & added a giggle & said 'what can we do to make you see the glass half full'. That joke hasn't been funny for along time and i don't want to hear it anymore. The glass is half full alright but not with anything I would recommend you count on. I see it as shit cos that's what they're full of. Of course I can't say that in a meeting but most of my coworkers know how I feel about this. They keep making us promises but never come through with anything. This year we didn't even get a cost of living raise. I mean think about it, the price of gas, food, cigarettes, housing & booze, hell, just plain living, has all gone up without a raise. Makes for stretching the budget a whole new ball game. Anyway, back to my point. It really pissed me off when she smacked that table like that. I feel like she owes me an apology. Am I wrong or is this the way people act in meetings? Am i walking a tight rope & gonna fall on my face? Or do I demand a little respect & ask for an apology? What would you do....
Well, now that I got that off my chest on to some good news. Tomorrow is hubbys' birthday. Makes him closer to being old. hahahahahahaha
like me.
gotta go,
later

Like Shit...Birthdays Happen

Today is a day that I try to overlook.
If I can.
I try not to answer the phone, I don't check email, I take the day off work & I don't open my door so I don't have to listen to EVERYONE telling me happy birthday cos frankly...it's not. My family, they know the date. They know my age. They know how bad I hate birthdays. Doesn't matter. I can't really get away from hearing the dreaded birthday song. I try. I want to just lay in bed & let the day go by without coming out from under the covers. But some people just refuse to allow me that luxury. They insist I'll want to hear from them. They're wrong. But I'm nice & allow them their illusion that I really just hold my breath until I hear from them.
Get the idea?
I hate birthdays!
It's just another fucking day that I ache & make myself keep going. It's better than the alternative, right?
I'm going back to bed now.
later.

The Bitch Is Back

I"m baAAck.....what the hell....you didn't even notice I was gone, did you? I know, I know. Way too much going on in everyone's life to miss some dorky bitch that writes about her waa waa life & her grandkids. (Which by the way are growing up on me) But seriously! It would've been nice if just one of you had missed me. Or thought about me for that matter. Did anyone try emailing me? Or visiting my Facebook page to see what I was up to? Would it have killed you? What kind of friends do I have anyway?
Wow, that was nasty. Where did that come from? I think my crazy just kicked in. Well, it is 2 am & I'm sober. So, yeah, I'm a little cranky.
Nah, just kidding. Sober doesn't faze me anymore. I quit drinking over a year ago. So, let me start over for reals now.
Hey All! I'm baAAck! And when I opened my blog last week & started going through my side bar of blogs I was really amazed at how many of you aren't as lazy as me. You still have a blog that you actually update on a daily basis. Some of you have gone on to write books, changed partners or just omitted one, had babies, moved to other states & in one case, just like me, quit blogging only to come back in full force....lots of changes. And as they say 'life goes on'.
So, anyways, watch for me to start ranting again. Cos yeah, my life has been going on...and on!
later

P.S. AND BTW
Happy New Year Everyone!!! May It Be The Best Year Ever!

An Old Post

where has the time gone? ummm, i know! to hell & back & so have we!!! remember the jock itch i supposedly had? turns out its not jock itch. the dr doesn't know just what it is but i still have it. i've been on a regime of lotions & anti itch creams. they kinda help but nothing seems to be getting rid of it. yeah, i know, its time to go to a dermatologist.

sonny finally got out of jail. he didn't stay out. in july his family was chosen to be guests at the speedways nascar event this summer. it was a major event. the first time a nascar race was being held at the new speedway in ky. they were allowed to camp the whole weekend & attend all the races. they got to sit in the viewing box. nascar shirts were given to all of them & they were to meet the drivers & get their autographs, spend time in the race pits, they were even scheduled to attend a dinner. well, he planned to camp out & take them up on all they had to offer. he chose to try & steal a few things he needed to camp out & low & behold, the things he chose to steal turned out to be his downfall. he took batteries & a propane tank. when he got caught they charged him with theft but after learning he had charges from back in dec. they added manufacturing meth to his charges. i really don't get how they can charge you for cooking something when you haven't even walked out of the store with your stuff yet but thats what they've done. and god only knows i don't think sonny is a saint but i think mr. justice is just making the rules up as he goes.

papaw wound up in the hospital for several weeks & honey decided to ignore the courts demand she be supervised with the kids. child services showed up at her door & she lied to them about the kids not being with her while ixxie stuck her head out the door to say hi to the child services worker. stupid, stupid, stupid. jammer was actually with me but because honey couldn't follow the rules the kids both were living in a foster home. the woman hated jammer & i actually have pictures of bruising on his arm where she yanked him around. hubby & i are were being investigated for custody. damn, i knew this was gonna be a mess & i was right. ixxie is 11 & wearing makeup. the whole situation is out of control & i'm about to lose my mind.

Rainy Days & Mondays

hey, that should be a song. oh, wait! i think it is. do you ever feel like bad luck follows you around like a black cloud? just sitting over your head so it can piss on you at any given moment? i don't know what i've done in my previous lives but whatever it is i think i'll pay for it as long as i exist. hubby has been laid off due to weather this winter has been brutal around here. snow started falling the first week of dec & it still hasn't quit. which means our income is cut to the barest minimum. i make ok money but its only one paycheck & i only get that 2 times a month. i hate the 2 week wait between paychecks & thats one of the great things about hubby working. not only is it extra money but he gets it every week. with sonny being in jail for christmas we went overboard to make sure the kids had a great christmas. in other words, we went broke. i can't think of another time that we completely depleted our bank account but this was special circumstances. well, hubby was called back to part time in feb. so things started looking up...till the car quit running. we have a second car, cherry the lebaron, but she wouldn't start either. all the water sitting on the roof & guess what that caused? yeah, a great big ole leak right in the middle of the kitchen ceiling. which i really don't understand cos hubby just coated the roof last summer except for that little black cloud that says if it can go wrong it will. pee, pee, poop!

later

This Love Is Just Grand

sonny has really done something stupid now. in his pursuit of the ultimate love life he got caught with another woman. he not only got caught with her but he had his son with them. and not only got caught with another woman with his son but was arrested with her...also, she had major drugs on her & now he's facing charges for those drugs. apparently, neither one would tell who's drugs they were so they charged both. i have to admit....sonny isn't perfect. but this is about as close to idiotic as i've ever seen him be.
it turns out, sonny called a pizza in & left home to pick it up. on the way he stops to visit with said girlfriend. they jump in her car & continue on to pick up the pizza so sonny won't be seen with another woman in his car & she promptly speeds through town doing 50 in a 35 mph speed zone. so she gets pulled over. little did sonny know but she has a record for, god only knows what all, but apparently drug possession. so they search her car & both of them. they find drug paraphenalia on her & in a coat in her car & she won't admit to the stuff being hers so they drag them all to the police station. my grandson, people, sitting in a police station with his father while they get booked! needless to say, because there's drugs involved the child services gets called in & they visited the kids in school. jammer is as innocent as they come. he never finds anything wrong with what his daddy does. as far as he's concerned daddy is a god & can do no wrong. ix on the other hand hates her life. she hates her mother, hates her brother, hates her room, hates her school, hates her hair...you get the picture? (except i guess she doesn't hate daddy)and she knows everything...well, just ask her! anyway, back to the story at hand, so she tells them she has seen mommy & a friend snuff something up her nose & to be honest, she probably has seen something. but she ran her mommy into the ground. so honey & sonny have to have drug tests immediately and are not allowed to be alone with the kids. i think i've mentioned that sonny takes care of my step dad. so papaws appointed to be a supervisor making it possible for the kids to live in the home just not given a chance to be exposed to any drug use. i was also required to become a supervisor in the event my step dad wasn't available. he has major medical issues & occasionally winds up in the hospital. can you imagine my horror as i type this? my son is facing major drug charges, my grandkids are facing foster care & i live in a different state & would have to undergo an investigation to be awarded custody of the them that would take months. not to mention i have to stay at their house in the event papaw does wind up in the hospital. i'm not sure how this is gonna turn out but i'll be here with new updates as they come in.

later

Whats Wrong With Kids Today

when we picked up the kids this weekend sonny was on a rampage. (the kids hadn't been good all week. sonny had to go to court with the kids & they ran on the steps, up & down the hallways & wouldn't sit down & behave. even sonnys lawyer got after them. how bad is it when your lawyer tries to discipline your children?) jammer came slamming out of the house saying he hated this house & he didn't want to live her anymore. well, that was the end of sonnys rope & he came after him. spanked his butt & told him to get in the car. sonny walked away to calm down & jammer realized he'd pushed too far. he started crying saying daddy didn't want to give him a kiss & hug goodbye. i called sonny over & told him to talk to his son. sonny said he didn't have anything to say. they didn't respect or love him & he was tired of trying. i said son, you never know whats going to happen. don't let us leave & your boy this upset over something. so sonny talked with jammer & they said they loved each other. jammer apologized for what he said & they said their goodbyes. that night went on as usual. the kids misbehaving & doing whatever they wanted. us begging them to behave. finally, i explained to the kids that they were going to have to earn their rights. the right to a clean bed, food, tv & respect. no toys, no games or computers. everything they had was there because we worked & strived to give them something to be proud of. she sat there & ignored me. jammer jumped up & went in to make his bed. he picked up the room & asked if there was anything else he could do to earn his keep. she sat there & ignored me. jammer aske if he could have a clementine. she sat there & ignored me. i took the book away from her cos guess what? they were my books & she hadn't done anything to deserve it. i asked her to go make her bed. she went & climbed in the bed to lay down. i said, guess what? thats my bed too. I bought it, i had my sister haul it & what did you do to deserve it? get out of my bed. she came out of the bed with this pooched out face & hard eyes staring at me. i told her she could sit in the middle of the floor & not to look at me like that. she said, 'why don't you hit me? i said not everything is about hitting. she asked again, why don't you hit me. i said i don't want to waste my time. she told me i was afraid to hit her. AFRAID? A-F-R-A-I-D? i jumped up so fast my head spun & hers? well, you can't imagine the look on her face when i grabbed her. i admit, i lost my temper. unfortunately, i didn't hurt her. i wanted to. god you don't know how bad i wanted to. she threw her hands up to protect her head & i hit her hand. i grabbed her by the hands & hanked her to her feet & said, you think i'm scared of you? you're not right little lady cos i'm far from scared of you. i'm so far from being scared to hit you that its not funny. i scared the shit out of her. then i sent her to the corner. where she's gonna stand until she apologizes. and means it. and me, i went to the bathroom & puked.
later

Pretweenness

we got the grandkids last weekend & sonny asked me if i could do him a big favor. apparently, ixxie had a huge problem & needed to go to the dr. well, i took her to the dr & sure enough...after $80.00, a stool sample & a few hours of hanging out she was found to have pin worms. how in the hell she managed that i can't tell you. she said she chews on her fingernails. i think she eats poop! poop from the dogs! poop that have pin worms! where else do you find pin worms? in poop! well, since she turned up with them i've done a little researching & found out that if someone has them the eggs can be found floating in the dust. believe me when i say we have spot cleaned everything!! we. have. super. cleaned! while the dr was poking & prodding around on her she was asked if this hurt ('no'), did she have a headache ('yes, for months' stupid kid doesn't know a month from a minute) & if her glands were sore ('no, but i lose my voice every now & then...wtf?) i shook my head at the dr to express ixxies ignorance & she understood the fantasies of a child. at the same time, she was checking her ears, her throat & mentioned she has lice. again? damn, this kid is like a magnet when it comes to the lice thing. she asked about alergies & said she'd write prescriptions & beat it out the door like she was being chased, well, by a head full of lice. a few minutes later another woman came in & handed us the prescriptions & asked ixxie to open her mouth. she quickly crammed a few swabs down her throat & asked if we could hang out a few more hours (this was actually only minutes but it felt like hours) cos they thought she might have strep throat as well. of course, when it rains it pours with ix so yes, strep throat was added to her list of ailments. with a hand full of prescriptions, a head full of lice & a dying kid we headed to the pharmacy. i made her put her hat on to try & contain the itchys & begged her to stay away from as many people as she could avoid. the rest of the weekend was spent babying & medicating the most unappreciative little deva you ever want to meet. she didn't want to treat her head for the lice cos she hates the smell. she didn't want to eat cos she was starving the pin worms. she didn't want to take the medicine cos it tastes bad. omg! by the end of the weekend i wanted to shove the meds up her ass & wring her little neck! i know we all go through that age when we think we know everything but puhleeze! she's only 10. and she's not a doctor! wait, just wait till i write about her in a few years. when she really hits those teenage years. i'll be posting from the nut house but i promise you it's gonna be entertaining!

later

Look Ma! No Hands

all along my route home they are adding a path along the side of the road. a bicycle path. when finished its supposed to be about 16 miles of bicycle path through cincinnati. i'm all for a path! its something we've needed for a long, long time. its about time they did something about the dangers of riding through the area. i don't ride a bike anymore! i can't stand that bicycle seat stuck up my big ass these days! (not to mention it hurts my back too. old age, ya know? i'll get my exercise on my feet, thank you very much) but i have to point out that the bicyclists these days are not very driver friendly. i'm sure their response is drivers aren't very bike friendly. although, i've yet to hear of one of them being hit because of road rage around here. i'm surprised it hasn't happened. let me tell you i have a few stories about bicyclists. how many times have you sat at a red light & had them ride right up the middle of the road between the cars? i've seen it lots of times. they ride right up to the light & are first in line when the light changes. and thats only if they wait for the light to change. they slow down the drivers that have already passed them once & now they have to deal with them all over again. getting by them. worrying about not hitting them. maintaining your composure & not yelling at them again. get the fuck out of my way, idiot! you'd think they'd take into consideration the fact that you're weilding a ton of metal that can rip their asses right off that little bike not to mention their souls right out of their bodies should they not yield to the laws of the road. weren't there chapters in the driving manuals on bike riding with traffic. those rules are there to protect both the bycyclist & the driver. from each other! they wonder why drivers hate them on the road?
shit, i got off the topic didn't i? i was telling you about this great little bike path. a few months ago i was coming home & a bicyclist was riding along, in the road, even though this part of the bike path is finished. i passed him & of course, got to the light that had turned red. so he was catching back up to me. on this particular road theres 2 lanes until you came to the light where theres a turning lane as well. so this biker is on the far right of the first lane & i was in the second lane from where he is. i heard a bang from behind me. like a fire cracker. i thought someone was throwing fire crackers at the biker. i'm sitting at the light & wondering what creep would do that when i heard another one & look in my rear view mirror to see the biker is in my lane on my right coming up between the cars. while i'm watching i see him take a lighter & light a fire cracker & throw it in front of the car next to him & cut in front of him. no hands on the handlebars. just lighting fire crackers & pitching them in front of the cars. the cars slam on their brakes cos they aren't sure what just happened & the biker is jumping in front of them to cross the lanes of traffic. with firecrackers! i think they've wasted more of my hard earned tax dollars building a bike path. this guy has his car problems under control. until a driver gets a little road rage going & takes him out....and his little firecrackers too.

later

Hitchhiker

i work in a pretty bad neighborhood. i always scootch down in my seat & turn my rings around before i go through the city. this is no shit & i'm not being a wussy here. remember the big riot ordeal from the first part of 2001? they were rocking vans at stop lights & beating the shit out of strangers for the pure fun of it. not to mention all the store looting & shootings that were going on. that was right in the heart of where i work. as a matter of fact i can't tell you how many times i drove through that area wondering if i would be pulled from my car. i saw gangs of people running through the streets & they weren't friendly. some carrying bats, tire irons & bricks & that was just what i could see. god only knows what they had hidden. one day i was stopped at a stop sign when one of those groups ran right across the street in front of me. the last half of them actually stopped & looked dead at me before the person leading them called for them to come on. i nearly shit myself that day & wondered if i should continue to come to work until this was over. eventually it did calm down although the people in the area still hold a grudge. i know this too because one day my coworker, a black chic, needed a ride to a store a few blocks away & i offered to take her. while she ran in the store i waited in the car & one of the guys standing there looked at me & said 'i could shoot you'. i just looked away & prayed he decided against that but i never stopped at that store again & from then on before i took her anywhere i asked what kind of neighborhood she would have me in not to mention the places i went in with her instead of waiting in the car. so the people i work with was all really surprised at me friday when i got to work. i told them i picked up a chic on my way home the day before. i was stopped at a intersection waiting for traffic when this chic stopped at the corner to cross right in front of me. i motioned for her to go on but she said 'naw, you can go ahead'. i kinda giggled & told her i couldn't because of the traffic. she said, 'shit, then can you give me a lift'? 'where to'? she told me she just lived up the street which i knew was only 2 blocks long & dead ended into a one way street so i told her sure. she hopped in & proceeded to explain she had asthma & only had to walk a few blocks but was having trouble breathing. i agreed this wasn't the best weather to be out in with any kind of lung disease. she kinda checked me out & noticed i had cigarettes laying on my dashboard so she asked if she could have one. i gave her one & introduced myself. i mean if i'm sharing she might as well know who she's bumming off of. she told me her name was kiki but everyone called her star. by that time we were at her house. an apartment building on the far corner. she said she lived right there in number 8.
'you could stop by if you wanted but don't bring any strangers'.
'thanks, i might take you up on that'.
'do you get high', she asked.
'no, i get drug tested'.
'got an money'?
'maybe a quarter, i don't carry money on me'.
'can i get another cig'?

i gave her the pack.
'you're nice lindy, we could be friends'. and we said our goodbyes.

i killed a roach crawling up her seat in the next block. nope, that friend thing ain't gonna work for me.

Driving Ms. Lindy

i pulled up to the light & a little red car came up next to me on my right. the woman was mouthing something so i rolled my window down on that side. she said, 'i just wanted to commend you on your driving etiquette'. i asked ' is that sarcasm? what did i do?' she said 'no, seriously, i've lived in this area all my life & nobody ever uses turn signals. i've been behind you for about 10 blocks & noticed you use turn signals at every corner & even when you just wanted to change lanes. its nice to know that some people still use courtesy when driving'. 'well, thank you. my husband always tells me i'm the nicest driver on the road too'.
the light changed & i started to pull forward: when she pulled right in front of me from the right turn lane AND she didn't use her turn signal to do it!
while i'm on the subject of my drive home. one of the streets i drive on my way to work is called 'chapel'. this street has a few nursing homes, a childrens home, a school, a store & a church. everyday on my way to work theres a van that parks on the side of the street & about a dozen people pour out of it. i'm assuming they're there to visit someone in the nursing home although i can't swear to it cos they park right in the middle between the nursing home & the childrens home. everyday its the same thing. in the afternoon when i come back through there is trash everywhere in that vicinty. (you'd think someone would put a garbage can right there). sometimes the people would still be there dancing, laughing, hugging or chatting. theres also a bunch of milk crates from the corner store turned upside down sitting everywhere. this has been going on everyday for the 11 years i've worked in the city. for the last 2 weeks that van hasn't been there. i'm also assuming here that this is a bad omen. i think someone died. whether its the person they visited in the home or the person driving the van i'm not sure. something has changed for that family. i've wondered alot about that family for years now. i think i miss them. makes me wish i had stopped at some point & gotten to know them. i know that sounds kind of strange but i'm a softie. i've caught myself praying for that family. i hope whatever happened it wasn't unexpected or devastating. i hope it was the easy passing of an elderly person that had a long happy life with lots of wonderful memories. i know the memories i have of them all standing around dancing & laughing is something, i'll never forget. i only hope that when i get old (assuming i live to be old) my family wants to come see me & laugh with me until i pass like that family did for whomever they visited. if i can still blog i'm gonna let you know how that turns out.
later.

ONE Half Century

happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you,
you look like a monkey
and i have jock itch for you!
yep! you read that right. i've spent many, many hours in the pool with the kids this summer. something i've always done. but this year they haven't taken care of the pool like they should. lots of days when we go the water has been cloudy & the jets aren't working very well. i really didn't worry about it too much cos i was under the assumption that chlorine in the pool would mostly kill any bacteria that might be living in there. turns out i was wrong. tinea is the creepy little fungus that causes jock itch & it can appear almost anywhere on your body. living in your bathing suit apparently gives it a damp place to grow. now i know all this after reading up on what it was. you can bet i don't keep my suit on after getting out of the pool now & i don't let the kids run around in theirs anymore but can you say 'thats after the fact'? i'm also pool shy! i've only been in once since i've turned up with this & that was only cos it was so friggin hot i couldn't stand it anymore. with the temperature & the heat index combining to a riduculous 110 degrees it has just been too much! i've been itching myself raw & bathing in epsom salt & rubbing all kinds of medicines on me. i've almost reached the point of shaving myself to stop the matting from the creams &.....nevermind, we're crossing the line between 'information & too much' so i'm gonna stop here.
hubby turned 50!!! finally hit the big FIVE O. yep, and i'm agonna tell ya what: he's been a bear for almost 2 weeeks. like he's the only person in the world that hated to turn 50. pfft. puhhllleeezzzeee! i'm ready to tear his eyebrows out one by one. then i want to start on his mustache. then i'm going for the groin hairs. you have to understand! he's been horrible! the kids can't stand him, i can't stand him & he can't stand himself.
i thought for sure with the jock itch i'd get out of the birthday sex that he expects (with glee). especially that he wasn't looking forward to this birthday anyway. but alas, no such luck. he mentioned it a few days ago & i said 'you sure you want to take a chance with getting this'? he looked at me like i was a slab of meat. 'i don't have to have missionary sex, your mouth isn't broke'. 'oh, so i can give you a blow job except don't you think maybe this peeling on my hands might have something to do with the jock itch'? 'didn't you just buy latex gloves for painting'? well shit, i couldn't win so sex he got & still he was a bitch. and he didn't get jock itch either. damn, karma isn't on my side lately & i've reached the point of too much again, huh? sorry.
i'm going now.
later.

Facebooking It 24/7

who all has a facebook page? i fought it forever. i avoided it like the plague. i thought it would be one of those fly by night social things like linked in, tagged, mylife, meetup, you know the ones. there's so many pages out there that tried to make it but haven't turned into anything. i did join linkedin, thinking when i received an invite from a coworker, that might be a smart business move. well one day i ran into a friend from my high school days & he had just attended a party for his brother. he invited me to be his facebook friend to see the pics he had taken at the party so i was forced to bow down to greater forces & made the damn page. its turned out to be pretty cool. i've connected with family i haven't seen in 30+ years. i've also connected with a boatload of kids i went to school with. i've seen some cool links & great pictures. i've also had lots of friends that play the games, who once they found out i was on facebook, decided it was new blood to get involved in the games. therefore i'm playing all these stupid games that take up way too much time. although i do really like the Mafia Wars game. the rest of them are just pains in the ass. i spend way too much time collecting gifts & sending them to really enjoy playing them too much. the only bad thing about Mafia Wars is to have any real power you have to have 501 members in your mafia & you have to invite them to be friends before you can accept them into your 'family'. which means you wind up with a lot of friends that you don't even know. so then you have to remember who is who so you send the right gifts to the right people. its a huge mind boggle! so i've created different groups to try & keep them all separate & then every time i add a new person or receive an invite i have to remember to add them to the right group. and if you get too many invites in a day you're screwed. you can only accept so many of each gift & a total of only so many gifts so you have to keep up with what you've accepted each day. if you accept or invite too many people in one day they can freeze you for a few days & on & on. not to mention with working all day i can't even start on facebook till after 6 when i get home. for some stupid reason the powers that be doesn't want to pay me for my time while i spend it playing games on facebook. does that sound reasonable? i let them play all day long & they make plenty of money for that. anyway, have i made my point about how aggravating this all is? i'm way too old for all this crap! not that i'm complaining. i love the shit out of facebook even though i mostly refer to it as facebroke. cos lots of time it doesn't work right & that's another aggravation for another whole post. kinda sounds like a love hate relationship, huh? or maybe i kinda sound like some kind of nut, huh? well, thats what facebook does to you.
so to get to the whole point of this post: i want to apologize for not posting more often. as you can see though, with facebook by the time i'm done with that the last thing i even have time for is blogging. plus i've already aired all my dirty laundry once & if i start all over here then i just sound like a whiner.
if you miss me & you want to check in with me in between times you can always find me on facebook. scan for lewlew57@hotmail.com in Ohio. not that i think there'd be too many lewlew's anywhere else but just to make sure you know you've narrowed your seach as much as you can & won't be too aggravated going through whatever that does bring up. at least i know you guys unlike knowing most of my mafia buddies, which i don't. so look me up. i've actually already hooked up with a few people i've met through blogspot. i'd love to see what you're up to as well.
and thanks for listening to my weirding out.
love ya'll.
later.

The Coolest Papaw In The World

we took the kids to see toy story 2 last weekend. it was a cute movie & they thoroughly enjoyed it. we all did. we giggled, ewwwed, ahhed & leaned with every character at the appropiate times. the 2nd movie was the 'a-team' which i really liked too but i think that was because i thought face was really hot. the kids were bored so papaw did the only thing a papaw could do. he entertained them while i drooled. being the special papaw that he is he took them to the lobby for popcorn & wangled them a tour of the projection room. danny, the nice projectionist, explained to them how the reels worked & the light put it all up on the big screen. they ate popcorn & hung on his every word. asking questions while they drooled over his job & totally made nuisances of themselves. they declared papaw 'the bomb' when they came back to the car. i can only hope that when we die they'll have some wonderful memories of us. they love the playground at the park & we always make sure we take them over to play. there's swings that have animal bodies on them that they just love. there's only 3 of them so they have to take turns with the other kids but they snag one as often as they can. jammer was climbing on the fort & was stung twice by wasps. poor feller had to act big so he didn't cry but you could tell it really hurt. we put some medicine on it & he & papaw went to let the concession stand know they had a wasps nest on the fort. they came over & jammer showed them where they were so they could spray the nest. after that he proceeded to show all the kids the sting marks so they understood why they couldn't play on the fort. it was cute the way he was so big about it all.
of course, the end of the night turned into a big fight cos ixxie decided jammers feet touching her blanket was more than she could take. honest when that child starts having periods i'll probably have to kill her. she's too much already. i know siblings have to fight but she starts over the craziest things. i know she's just gonna get worse as she gets older. i keep wondering what GOD was thinking when he hooked that sweet little boy up with that evil little girl as siblings. he told me when he 'got bigger than her he had a lot to avenge'. honest that was his words. and honest: i don't blame him at all.
later.

Zits & Scars & Hairs, OH MY

lately i've had a close brush with puberty. all over again. my face is so broke out i'm embarrassed to be seen outside. although i've spent a lot of time in the sun they seem to be getting worse all the time. not to mention when they heal they leave scars that are just hideous. so, i've invested in the 'proactive' acne plan. after receiving my box of goodies i used each product according to the instructions. for 2 days straight & since then i've been to busy to get back to it. now its a month later & i've received my 2nd shipment but i haven't hardly touched the first shipment. at this rate i'll have proactive for years to come. i still have one more shipment & 2 more payments to make.
i guess sometime in your life you revert back to puberty in so many ways. at the same time you experience the old lady syndrome too. as in: my hairs on my legs don't grow like they used to so i don't have to shave as much. at the same time my hairs on my chinny chin chin are going crazy. i refuse to shave my face! i've reverted to plucking my chin hairs instead of my eyebrows. they aren't growing so much either. after i started doing that i got this mental picture of my grandma walking around with a pair of tweezers feeling her chin. i was pretty young & i never made the connection. until now! i bout died when i realized that was what she had been doing. i am my grandma reincarnate!
later.

Graduation & Elation!

the school year is over & can you say 'hooorray'? everyone passed on to the next year. jammer is so proud of himself. he made it with lots of awards & recognition documents. one of his documents claimed that he could spell over 400 words accurately. when i congratulated him on so many words he told me, 'i know a lot, memaw'. we've been working on spelling & arithmatic with them both.
ix has become what she believes to be an adult (we shopped for bra's last weekend) questioning everything you ask of her & giving you that 'hmmff' attitude. jammer is still his sweet self & i'm praying he maintains that attitude regardless of how bad ix treats him. hopefully he'll grow up to be much bigger than her for his own protection & will make her life miserable when she starts dating. he makes buddies easily. brothers can be a bitch & she hasn't learned the worst of it. he'll have her dates playing games with him instead of pawing her like she is planning. she's already told me that she can't wait to have sex which kept her from being allowed to go to the swinging rope in the woods. can't trust her & its kinda the boys hangout. i refuse to be a great grandma before my time. ya know? besides, sonny would have my ass if she got pregnant on my watch.
sonny has been building on to his home & working as much as he can. making money for paying child support & supporting his family is taking its toll. he chews his jaw a lot & looks tired all the time. i wish i could do more to help him but unless i win the lottery that ain't gonna happen.
my mom has created a facebook page. ugghh. i haven't accepted her as a friend yet. i have my dads new wife on there & i really don't want her checking on me to see what dads up to. i know thats what will happen. i know my step mom. she thinks she's smarter than the average person but she doesn't have me fooled. i've grown up with her & i know her as well as she knows herself. my new step mom is a very nice woman & she makes dad happier than i can ever remember him being. he deserves that & i'm happy for him. besides that, he actually calls me now & wants to see me & my grandkids. i don't want to do anything to screw that up.
well, enough for now. i'm going to bed.
later.

GODS' Blessing

i went to an awards ceremony for the grandkids today. had to leave the house early & head in the opposite direction of work. it took me about an hour to get there. on the way i glanced down at the gas gauge & realized i was on empty. i pulled into the first gas station i came to & discovered i was missing my credit card. can you say 'oh shit'? i could. and did several times will i tore my purse apart because i couldn't even believe it wasn't there. i called hubby & asked him to look for it while i went into the store to see if i could beg some gas. i did have my checkbook with me but of course, they didn't accept checks. i explained my situation to the first girl i talked to & she sent me to a second girl who i had to go through the story with who, in turn, brought me the manager. he was very nice & agreed without any hesitation to take my check. i thanked him about a thousand times & god another million while i drove on down the road.
at the ceremony jammer was called first & received awards for exceptional math AND reading skills. he had two blue medallions draped around his neck. they also gave him certificates that read the same. ix received a blue medallion & a red medallion for exceptional reading & proficient math skills. this doesn't really surprise me cos sonny was always exceptional in both of those subjects too. he literally kicked ass in math & loved to read. i was one proud memaw! by the end of the ceremony the auditorium was jingling so loud you could barely hear anything over it.
i had told them i could't make it so jammer was so surprised to see me there that he jumped clear out of his chair & yelled. i got both video & pics of the whole thing. after it was over i kissed them both goodbye & we rubbed it in. just like we always do. you rub it into your heart & go 'poof' to make sure it gets there. some of the people around us thought it was just awful cute. i wonder how many kids will rub their kisses in tonight?
btw, did i mention hubby got a job? yahoo!!!! i've been praying for god to drop a job in his lap & there it was! a friend at work called me one day & asked if hubby still needed a job. one of her relatives has a window cleaning business & had a guy quit on him. he needed to replace him pretty quick. i told her oh hell yeah & the next day the guy stopped by to meet hubby & they chatted each other up pretty thoroughly. both loves music & had so

much in common i wondered if they would ever shut up. i don't think they have cos every day hubby comes home with so many stories he doesn't shut up till we fall asleep. and the best part? he lives right down the road from us, picks hubby up every morning & drops him off on his way home. isn't that amazing the way gods mysterious ways came through for us? i'm still thanking him every night for always being there for us. i was talking with someone yesterday & explaining how when i'm broke & so down i can't lift my head a twenty dollar bill will come rolling up & hit me on the foot. GOD IS GREAT & he blesses me every day of my life.
later.

DRIVE-IN Time!!!!

i love our drive-in. its one of the few left & its only about 8 minutes from our house. this weekend we took the wild bunch to see 'how to train your dragon' & 'the clash of the titans' in 3D. we pigged out on chili coneys before we went & packed up pillows, blankets & stuffed animals to make everyone comfy. the kids sat on the hood of the car & giggled at the first movie. it was ixxies favorite & clash of the titans was jammers. who kept yelling 'awesome' throughout the movie. everyone in the cars around us got a laugh out of him. he gets a little wiry when he see fighting. you don't even want to be in the same room with him when he & pappaw start watching wrestling. and they'll kill you if you mention its all choreographed. even though they know you're telling the truth. theres a new rule at the drive-in. you have to pay $5.00 extra to bring in your own drinks & food. i can see that but they always get such a huge crowd that a few people not buying food can' t make that much of a difference. we always wind up buying popcorn & drinks. even when we brought our own. and seriously? how many people do you think lie to them about having a cooler in the trunk or food in the car? my favorite things about the night was they still have the kids playground & they still do the intermission thing with the hot dog jumping into the bun & the dancing ice creams. some things never die, ya know? at least, those are 2 things i hope they never take away.
next weekend is the big surprise. we're taking them to the aquarium. it'll be the first time hubby has been there too. we're all really looking forward to that. i've been there several times but hubby always had something else to do. i can't believe how expensive its gotten. its 22 bucks for an adult now & 14 for kids. i'm sorry but thats ridiculous. their memberships are set up for one person only. so you have to buy individual passes for everyone. isn't that kinda crazy? the 3 times i was in it was through the zoo. once was while it was being built. the other 2 times the zoo gave me free tickets. needless to say, they haven't made a lot of money off me. they'll make up for that next weekend. its gonna cost us 2 days pay to get through it. one reason is because they have it set up that you have to exit through the souviner shop. yeah, they know how to get you.
later.

Help!

can anyone tell me why i can only see part of my posts? i see the top but not the bottom & i can't read my comments unless i blindly click & happen on them. its like shooting craps in the dark. whats up with that? if i were braver i would just redo my whole site but i'm chicken shit to attempt it. if you have any ideas let me know. you might want to email me though cos like i said...i can't read my comments. lewlew57@hotmail.com
later.

Profiteers Ain't Got Nothing On This One

are you on a prescribed medication? one that the dr. put you on maybe cos you were just over the accepted 'safe zone'. maybe its your blood pressure or cholesterol. maybe its pfd or some other periphial defunct. jeez, maybe its just migrains. don't you just hate it that someone else has control over your staying healthy? i like to walk & i try to eat right but i guess some things we really don't have much control over. my grandmother had diabetes & my mother had lung problems. that puts me at risk for one or the other. maybe both. i'm not good with keeping up with my pills either. sue me. i forget to take them. birth control was another thing that i couldn't keep up with. i'd remember to take them for a month or two but sometimes life just gets too full & my brain forgets things. hell, i still forget to pay my insurance payment by its due date & thats something i've been doing for what now? about 20 years. but...can someone tell me how important that med is if the dr won't renew your prescription unless you make an appointment to come see them first? even though you may be out of that prescription they refuse to fill it again until you spend that friggin $25.00 for a visit. and thats if you have insurance. do you know how many people out there isn't covered by some insurance company that pays most of that dr's visit? my dr was doc holiday until he got a better offer. we had an understanding. i'd follow his orders & he'd see me once a year. with hubby not working & mine the only income dr visits are a must that i can't afford any more often then necessary. necessarily he figured he needed to see me at least once a year. necessarily my budget was fine with that. i was fine with that. since both hubby & i are on a few different meds between drs visits & medications that shit adds up. since doc holiday went to teach up & coming drs a woman dr took over his patients & let me tell you i have had more stress over this woman than anything i've ever dealt with in my life. she absolutely refuses to give me any thing more than a 3 month prescription. thats 4 visits a year & hubby is another 4 visits. that means we've gone from a reasonable $50.00 a year for the both of us to a whopping $200.00. tell me she isn't money hungry. i've explained to her that i can't afford her requests & she stubbornly insists that if i want to live i'll manage. easy for her to say she works for a profiting organization. and she makes mega bucks by making her patients come see her every 3 months. if she has 40 people a day at 7 days a week & makes us all see her every 3 months at $25.00 a wack no wonder she has the arrogance to tell me i'll manage. if i made that kind of money i could manage an island in the carribeans too. and i wouldn't mind paying her the $25.00 on top of it. i also would like to point out that if you run out of that med & you have to wait a week to see her the med is out of your system anyway. how much sense does that make? what good could that possibly be doing you? isn't it bad for you to stop something cold turkey like that? seems to me that that could bring on attack that just might kill you anyway. needless to say i'm in search of a new dr. i know, i know. two people off her list just means she takes on a few more that she can bully around but by golly it won't be me. and i'm fine with that too. if anyone living in my area knows of a good dr that at least applies common sense...see me. otherwise i'm off my meds & that doesn't make for a healthy me.
later.