Sunday, December 26, 2004

Holiday Cheer?

Merry belated Christmas.. to all of you out there. For me it's not really belated cos I'm still up from Christmas day. All one day for me.. how about you. Do you really ever get on top of things? I do, finally, the day I have to have it all done. Cleaning, shopping, wrapping, visiting...yada, yada... I never find the end of it all. If you do, congratulations.. that's not my life. I have to visit sooo many places & buy for sooo many people that it just can't be fun anymore. It's a whole new job every year that I have no choice but to accomplish. Mine isn't near over yet. I've only really done the thing here with my son & his family. I still have all my family to hit. Mom's, 3 sisters & a brother that all have presents for the kids. a few for me too, i'm sure. but my christmas isn't about me. it's the kids & how to stretch my dollars to cover all the people we have to buy for. always a challenge.
When I was a kid it was all about the birth of Jesus Christ. Nowadays, it's all about how many gifts each one got & how much money was spent. Does anyone remember when the whole family went to church? I know it wasn't just us. I mention church & everyone just looks at me with that 'don't make me go' look. It actually made me feel good. Being with all those people that loved god & was truly glad to celebrate his life. It was good being a kid without the worries & pressures.
I'll be honest. I didn't want to go to church all the time. Mom did though & we didn't have a choice. She made us go every Wednesday & Sunday. And she taught vacation bible school so we had to do the week thing every summer. Of course that could be fun too. You got to make some little craft & color pictures. And I liked learning. Even about god.
so, back to the norm. I didn't really mean to go off on a tangent about god & religion. my memories are probably better than the real thing was or it would still be a popular thing to do.
my female doggie is in heat & guess who's noticed? my bird. he was never shy about getting his rocks off but since the dog has come in heat it seems like he is always jacking off. on any of his toys, his cage cover, the hair brush, my head... it doesn't matter he backs up to whatever & starts rocking. then he gets all puffed out & grabs hold of something & i swear he looks like he'd like a smoke when he's done. of course the dog wants outside a million times a day too. always in hopes of a 'playmate' coming along not leashed that she can play with. damn horny amimals.
christmas was fun with all the kids. my first with the twins & jammers 2nd. last year he didn't really understand it but this year he sure knew how to rip the presents open. his look the whole day was of total awe. he couldn't believe all the new toys & it was obvious all over his face. sweet. we all had a very good day.
i guess i'm gonna go now. i'm kinda distracted. i know theres things i want to tell you but they should probably wait for another day. i can't think of them right now. isn't that the way it goes? seems like i have a million things to say till i sit down & start to type.
one thing before i go is hubby is about to be layed off. this comes every year at this time. i hate it. money gets really tight for awhile but then income tax comes along just in the nick of time. usually. one thing about him being layed off is i will get the pc for my fair share. he stays on all day doing everything he can possibly do so when i get in from work he's totally done & i get it. u'll be hearing much more from me.
until then Happy New Year all. let me know how it goes. i'll be reading u...
later for now..

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Stranger Things Have Happened

every day this week, driving anywhere, a flock of birds has crossed my path. flying low & fast all around my car as i'm cruisin' in my rush to get somewhere on time. (never happens, i'm always late) i pray everytime it happens 'please, don't let me hit one'. i hate to hit an animal. i've had that experience twice in my lifetime. both times caused horrible feelings. i cried both times too. once the little boy standing along side the road was calling his dog home. i didn't see the dog coming cos i was already past him when he decided he could run under my car, between the wheels, to get to the boy before my 55mph back tires could get to him. he lost that bet. i didn't kill him. i stopped back every few days bringing him some little treat to check on him. i think he learned to not play with cars in the road but it was a hard lesson for both of us to learn. the second time a ferret did the same thing only he missed the gap all together & hit the side of my car. he broke his leg & i nursed him back to health then found him a new home. one where he couldn't escape & play 'hari-kari' with the cars.
something else thats on the move in my area are the deer. and on these dark country roads that can be tricky. on our way into work we always see deer that didn't make it across. the one thing that i can say about seeing the deer is alot of times u get to see them before they get hit. they're soo beautiful & elegant... when they're not scattered across the road.
did u hear about the guy that sat his lava lamp on the stove & it exploded. a shard of glass pierced his heart. killing him instantly? 24 years old. would u have expected that?
what about the sargeant that was holding a gun on a terrorist in irag. the terrorist grabbed the gun & turned it on the sargeant shooting him in the face. the guy just stood there. the bullet hit his tooth & shot his tooth out of his mouth but stopped the bullet dead.
its almost the weekend & time for the aliens again. they are the strange and unusual as i've heard it said.

Monday, November 29, 2004

Mini Vacation

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone In Blogdom.. Wow! i'm amazed its been so long since i've posted. i've been busy. we started having thanksgivings a few weeks ago when i got the urge to have turkey so strong that i couldn't fight it. so, i fixed one. then a sister wanted to have one & get the sisters together, which we did, my mother in law had one & my step mom had one. then this weekend after thansgiving sonny wanted me to fix another big meal. i had one more turkey in the freezer & we just finished it off. i'll never get turkeyed out though. i love turkey. i can never get enough. also, i can never be thankful enough for all i have.
this thanksgiving was a good one. i actually got to see the people that i really wanted to without having to deal with some of them that i don't care to see. my dad being one that i'm not sure i was in the mood to deal with. (u know who u are i don't have to go into it.) we got the twins & jammer for the weekend. ixxie decided to go visit other relatives. its nice to have just the 'family' once in awhile.
but kids are the same & not much changes. little girls haven't changed since i was a little one. they r still whiny crybabies. jammer is a typical boy & wants to make them cry as often as possible. then collect kisses to make up to them for being mean. He's talking up a storm & lots of fun.
i haven't been to work since wed. & i like that. our incoming mail seems to be lost & while we have some downtime i decided to take advantage of it. of course, i'm using up valuable pto (personal time off) time. but what the heck. i'm off for now & i'll be missed. hopefully.
well, i gotta hit the shower. been a busy weekend & heading back to work is gonna be tuff......

Thursday, November 11, 2004

On To The Funny Stuff

See i KNEW it wasn't just me....

MIAMI (AFP) - Shocked supporters of defeated US presidential candidate John Kerry are seeking help from psychologists, who refer to their condition as "post-election selection trauma."
is it over yet? is all the ugliness gone? is it safe to open my eyes? no? well, let me tell you a funny story about this weekend. maybe this will lighten the mood.
we were sitting in the living room watching a movie when jammer came out from his nap. he stopped just inside the kitchen & looked around. he saw daddy sitting on the left, mommy just past him (cos she has to be right ontop of him all the time), ixxie on the floor playing, papaw on his far right & me closest to him on the right. daddy saw him coming & said 'hi, come see daddy.' he just stood there. mommy leaned forward & said 'u coming in to say hi?' he still stood there. only he got this thoughtful look on his face then. daddy said 'what cha doin, boy? come on in here.' jammer looked at him with an aggravated scowl & said 'me go potty daddy.' wouldn't u agree that this is a telltale sign as to a good time to start thinking about potty training? man, they grow up way too fast. but i laughed so hard i think i hurt myself.
does he mean to be this funny? no, i don't think he does. but man he can crack me up. i've heard of 'out of the mouthes of babes' but this one is a keeper. even when he's not trying to be funny he's hilarious.

Monday, November 08, 2004

Conclusions, Circumstances and Confessions

with the election over will the world ever just settle down again? i mean it isn't just here in the usa, it's everywhere. i read blogs sometimes at random & jeez, everybody is bitching. and how do people clear across the world know what all to bitch about? i mean down to tiny little pieces of information that even my hubby didn't know. (he reads everything he can get his hands on). people seem to be most upset with the fact that bush won the election. lets face it. both parties put on a good (as in how nasty can i get) show from the opposite views they had, right down to the slam campaign both got into. and i'm not just talking about the running candidates people. personally, i am just really tired of hearing it over & over. the way i see it, its over & we have the next 4 years to pull together & choose a couple of brand new running mates to represent us. lets just get to the business at hand.
with the end of the election i've come to a few conclusions.
1. i'd like to see pay go up, taxes come down & our soldiers home safe where they belong with no war to worry about.
2. people have every right to live however they want but if they know someone doesn't appreciate seeing it then should they flaunt it? i've accepted that nobody wants to watch me rub all over my husband so, i respect them by restraining myself when i'm in their presence. i have a gay sister. u know what? she's a human being & has every right to live however she wants. that doesn't mean she's gonna go down to the corner & plant a big ole lip lock on her mate. that means if she wants to marry that girl she does it in a private ceremony with their close friends & family & they make their own commitment to each other. isn't that what everyone does? we all know there are ways around everything & this amendment thing isn't gonna change that. there will always be someone out there to help us with whatever we want to do. u just have to find them. and voila!! u can be a man instead of a woman. viola! u can be married to the same sex. viola! we can have a new president.
viola! i can disappear.
now with that said, let me get on to this beautiful life of mine.
3. have u guys figured out that there is some pun going on here? when i first started this blog my main incentive was to remember everything there was to remember about jammers growing years. i hadn't thought about what other contents i might add, how honest i might get or how many hits i might get. i sent out 2 invitations to my blog. one to my mom & one to my hubby. i have even mentioned this before. neither of them ever responded & i know hubby has only hit it a few times. mom i believe just deleted the email without ever giving it another thought.
since then, i've reached the point where some of my internal rage has gotten the better of me & i've lashed out at things i think suck. i've still tried to keep it mild but why keep up any kind of farce? i'm only hiding from myself at this point. u don't care what i say. mom doesn't see it & hubby ... well, he knows how i feel. i've always been a bitch. and he knows that better than anyone. so, if i put anything in here he doesn't like he can invite himself right out of here. truthfully mom was the only one i ever really worried about. i've still kinda got her buffaloed. she's not my birth mother. she is my fathers 2nd wife. i've known her since i was 9 years old & i think i've always called her mom. she doesn't know what a bitch i am. she knew me as a child, when she thought of me as a sneak, trying to get away with what i wanted (not that i ever did. i always got busted), trying to teach me right from wrong. she knows that she did teach me to love god first & believe in his will, that i love my family & that i can't stand my hubby for the most part. and thats about it. she really doesn't know me. she for sure does not know the language that i am capable of these days. she does not realize that fuck is a common word in my life, that i have had a 'menage-a-toi' or that i was ever molested as a child. i would like to keep her safe from ever knowing these things about me. i look at my life as the experience it has been & i've taken it in stride. i've lived in some pretty rotten places. i've had some pretty rotten experiences. i've known some pretty rotten people. but it's still all my life. if i don't put it down somewhere someday i may be too braindead to remember all i've known & that would be a waste. cos some of it has been pretty fantastic. we all have our crosses to bear. i don't want to forget any one of them.
someday my son & his family may want to remember me after i'm gone. this is as good as any to let them see the real me. after i'm gone.
i've been thinking about death. can u tell? not like its coming anytime soon but that its coming. i've come to the conclusion that i don't want to die. at least, in the frame of mind i'm in right now. maybe when i'm older & more miserable i'll be ok with it. but as long as i can get out of bed, dress myself, walk & maintain some level of dignity i don't want to die. i'd also like to be more at peace. with myself.
after my grandson was born i went in for a complete physical. just to make sure i didn't have any surprises right around the corner. they found that i might be border line diabetic but that was the extent of it. oh, i also have sleep apnea. as long as i keep these things under control i'm in no danger. i can't really explain why i've been thinking about all this so much. but i'm pretty sure this train of thought is the result of all this election crap i've endured.

Saturday, November 06, 2004

Our Little Piece Of The World

i love the corner store. i used to work there. working in a community mom & pop's store is one way to meet absolutely everyone. it's like it's own little 'peyton place' as well. u hear all the news before anyone else does cos someone is always stopping in & telling u the bits & pieces they know. sometimes its about the wreck up the road, they just saw ur husband in the local bar or about the fight they just got into with their significant other. u put all those bits & pieces together & u get a lot better insight into just who people really are & whats going on in the area. u create the big picture or sometimes they just know the whole story. but u really never know what to expect from one day to the next.
and eventually u see everyone u ever knew in the past. once my cousin i hadn't seen in at least 10 years walked in. he hadn't changed a bit so i recognized him immediately & it was great catching up with him.
once a neighborhood kid & his pals decided to knock the place over. he begged to be let in after store hours & everyone being friends they let him in, he walked in & pretended to be shopping to allow the doors to be unlocked so the other boys could storm the attendants. the kid wound up getting shot & turning his buddies in for shooting him. admitting they all planned it together. stupid kids.
in the last week a couple things has happened at the store that tickled me.
hubby & i pulled into the lot to get gas. as we pulled in i noticed the car on the other side of the gas pump looked alot like ours. hubby commented on the car as he got out & said 'it could be us'. he pumped the gas & went on in to pay. i was sitting there listening to the music when the door opened. i started to reach for the key when i looked around. the red haired man had sat down in the front seat & was reaching back out the car telling some kids to come on & hop in. not my husband, who is not redhaired for one & was not traveling with 2 children. luckily i did recognize the guy & said 'billy, i think u have the wrong car'. billy jumped & looked around at me like a deer caught in the lights. he wanted to run but was too fascinated with his own mistake & froze in place. i finally said 'i think ur on the other side.' he apologized & said 'dude, i can't believe i did this. i'm sorry, i didn't really pay attention'. i think he was stoned. i know he was buying beer.
later, that same week. we pulled in but it was really crowded so i parked at the gas pump. after hubby walked away a big white, brand new deisel truck pulled in on the other side. the door opened & this really hot guy slid out. he looked straight at me & called me by name.
me: how ya doin
hottie: i'm good how bout u? what have u been up to?
me: a whole lot of work & being a grandma.
hottie: i haven't gotten there yet but i heard u were working at the (insert organization name).
he then called to his buddy to pump the gas so he could talk to me.
about that time i looked up & saw hubby coming & said:
me: umm, gotta go.
hottie: (looking where i was looking at hubby) do u have to?
me: yeah. see ya.
hottie: i hope. take care.
the wild thing about this is wow! he was cute & i did recognize him. but damn, i can't remember who he is. doesn't that bite? how many brain cells have i killed?
the news at the store tonight was that the cops are writing tickets to anyone traveling the portion of the road in front of the store that is closed for construction. did u know they could do that? oh & 'pimmy' our local man whore is single again. look out barely legal little girls. u'll be pregnant next.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Where Have All The Bloggers Gone

long time passing....
u know? not blogging & not sitting down to read any blogs for a month taught me a lesson. u miss out on a lot of things & u literally miss these people. then, god forbid they have gone when u go looking for them again. cos ur gonna go looking for them somewhere, sometime. blogging is something u either really like or u couldn't give a rats ass about. i've decided i'm a blog addict. i really, really like it. in fact, i really, really love it.
but a drawback to this whole blogdom realm is that u get attached to these people & in some cases, u feel like u'r best friends cos u know so much about some of them & their lives. i've watched babies being born, childrens first steps, first tooth & first peepee. i've met guys blogging about their love life & actually gave them sisterly advise. i've hurt over people who r sick & need to just tell someone about their ordeal. i've gone to a blog to discover that they died suddenly & prayed that it was just a sick joke. that i would wake up & find it was all a bad dream. i've cried for people trying to get a message out whether it be 'don't drink & drive' or 'drugs kill' because of the loss of a loved one that they r trying to deal with. from one end of the spectrum to the other u'll meet all kinds of people.
Another drawback is just losing them. one day they go away on vacation & make one last post upon their arrival home, then nothing. just a lot of comments speculating over just what might have happened to them. i've also accidently crossed one that i enjoyed only to forget how i found them in the first place. some i've read made a first post & never posted more. and i really liked that first post. or ones that get a book deal & quit blogging or lost their job for blogging about that job.
and something that turns out to be really cool is when u find out that a whole slew of them that u read live in the same area. and they r all gonna meet up & get to know each other. or that they all go to a blogmeet that is the big bash set up just for bloggers. u know the one? the one that i'll never be able to attend for one reason or another. mostly finances but who would watch the aliens & the animals?
so, blog withdrawal set in & i realized i wanted to thank some people that i read. ordinary joe, the mighty jimbo & his gang, halcyonstyn, finslippy & piehole ur too cool. i love it that u r so down to earth. mental laundry, zoe & her twat of a boyfriend, yvonne @ aged & confused, broad at bat & melly ur one of the first i started reading. u r kinda my mentors so to speak. waisty dog i miss ur wit. prison pete thanks for keeping it real even if ur not. kevin @ tj's place i wish i knew what happened with u. Belle de jour, i hope everything works out for u.
if ur not mentioned here don't be upset. i just hit a wall & can't think of all the blogs i read. but to all of u.. a big ole hug & mwaaahhh!! i love u all.
bye, bye for now.

Monday, October 18, 2004

That Alien Is A Trip

this weekend has been so fun. halloween events r going on at our zoo. thats trick or treating for children, young & old at heart. they have characters that entertain & movies to watch. everyone dresses up including staff & just have a frightful good time. there's a haunted trail with lots of scary noises & 'guests'. we took the grandkids. ixxie was thrilled with everything she saw. jammer was showing his butt. literally. papaw put him on his shoulders & pulled his pants down, diaper & all, unknowingly. i was snapping his hood around his head from the front when a guy walked by & said 'yeah, he'll appreciate that but he's hanging out in the back too.' it took a minute to sink in but the more i thought about it the more i wondered what he meant. till i walked around behind the group to look. there it was for god & all the world to see, his cute little tush just shining in the light. poor guy didn't even care he was mooning everyone. he was too into what he was seeing. then there was scooby doo. he petted & hugged on scooby doo till i thought he'd go bald. scooby that is not dom. and pumpkins everywhere that was really cool. from big tall ones made out of balloons to the ones walking around waving & shaking hands. they both got pumpkins painted on their faces & played some games. it was a great weekend all around.
at one point, over the weekend, dom was standing between us on the couch & happened to look over the couch. i had dropped a toy that he really likes back there the night before to get it out of sight at bedtime. when he saw it, he asked me to 'git it' & i said he had to ask papaw. he looked at papaw & said 'papaw, git it' (as i prompted please, which he ignored) he repeated himself, 'papaw, git it' which papaw ignored cos he wouldn't say please. finally, dom took papaws' face in his two little hands, looked him straight in the eyes & with a really slow speech said 'paaaapawwww, giiiiit iiittttt'. like he was slow & hard of hearing. i cracked up. that kid has a personality that is just too cute. u have to picture this little guy, he stands about 2 1/2 feet tall with curly, long blond ringlets hanging everywhere & light blue eyes. he looks like a little male version of shirley temple. until he smiles at u & u see that missing tooth. then 'smart aleck little thug' comes to mind. i am not looking forward to beating the girls off with a big, big stick in the near future.
k, it's late & i'm tired. gotta hit the grind stone tomorrow.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

ET.... Phone Home

i made my first phone call to the twins today. i called in the middle of the day just to say 'hi' & see how they were doing. i talked to al first & said
'hi, al. how r u?'
she answered, 'hi, memaw. fine, gullocklocklockgullock.'
laughing i asked 'what?'
'r u being good?'
snickering, 'no' gullocklocklockgullock'
'r u & sissy going bye-bye with mommy'
'no, sissy, gullocklocklockgullock'
'ok. memaw love u...bye-bye'
'bye-bye, memaw. i love u'
he was the same thing. they r saying something that i should understand but what? no clue.
sonny is getting his twins this weekend. the first time overnight for him. i'm laughing. he's got his hands full.
wonder if this means i won't be getting dom & ixxie. they will definitely be an asset to keep home this weekend just for entertainment purposes. Maybe he'll bring everyone to see me anyway.
if not, i'm gonna be lonely.
stop being a wuss lindy. deal with it.......

Tuesday, September 21, 2004


we've now had 3, including a saturday night stay over. the state park meeting was fun but it was hard to try to get acquainted with mommy, twins & extra kids on the side, keep everyone busy & slide through the drama queens little fit (without too much going sour) & keep up with all the kids. the parents tended to stand at the table & talk while papaw & i got to watch all the kids. it wasn't even just the twins, dom & ixxie. we also got stuck with an 8 year old son william & a 5 year old, ciera (honeys that lives with his dad and a daughter that is a 1/2 sister to the twins that also lives with the dad). the kids were great. they immediately started playing & running with each other. the jungle jim was a bad idea cos of all the open places for small children to fall through. the slide attached was dangerous. but they loved it. i loved having them locked into swings that i could talk to them & look at them. being kids they were too busy for that too much of the time. the 3 babies all wound up falling at some point making someone feel bad. nobody actually sat down & ate at the same time & i was so tired by the end of the day that i didn't want to drive home let alone go to work the next day.
then, one of the days i only worked 1/2 day i invited the twins & mommy (now on know as mojo) to meet me at the zoo. she agreed & we had 3 really cool hours together. papaw met us there too. we saw the dinosaur exhibit & the elephants, cats & monkeys (twins favorites) had lunch & bonded. i introduced the twins to everyone i knew & they all got hugs & kisses. al had gotten stitches the weekend before (not with us) & was showing everyone her 'boo boo'. for future reference i want to mention that she had pulled her stitches out already & the gap was far from being healed. no point in having her stitched until she learns to leave it alone. do i think she will have more stitches? yes. i do. she's a rough & tumble kinda little girl. he (i really need nicknames for these 2) on the other hand stayed right by my side & acted like i was her guardian angel there to protect her from all the bad in the world. she clung to me like a vine. very shy & only gave hugs if asked. but she did give them. sweet & loving little girls. seems like hubby & i have been accepted & r gonna receive alot of love here.
this past weekend hubby & i had to pull our 16 hour day & didn't know if dom & ixxie were coming but we made arrangements with mojo to take the twins for saturday & she would pick them up sunday evening. after talking with sonny & letting him know this was the plan he decided to visit & bring dom & ixxie for the night as well. we had a blast. it was so much easier keeping up with the kids in a closed in area. they played, fought, screamed & loved all at the same time. it was all still bonding. it was all still great fun. makes my heart swell thinking of all the fun & hugs & kisses & just all round family together time we had. i love all my grandkids. its amazing how quick u can love a child. even if its not blood related. but its so cool to love kids that u know will always be apart of ur life. someone u can help to shape & teach. i can only pray that i can be a good influence on these kids. god knows we can all use all the help & guidance we can get.
till next time....
hug ur kid

Monday, September 06, 2004


'oh, what a beautiful day. i've got a beautiful feeling, that everything's going my way'. my first day as a memaw to 3!!!! count them 3 gorgeous babies!!! this is why i don't use caps and punctuation in most of my blogs. i get so excited to get this stuff recorded that i don't want to miss a thought, a feeling, a pang, a realization, a reality. any realization.. any identify factors... anything....
my reality..
the twins were born on april 25, 2002. they're fraternal twins. AL & HE (just to identify.) not identical. one is smaller built, louder, more demanding with a look that says i' m ur devil. the other is big eyed, loving & very easy going. she just emits love.
the best part is their little bitty toes. u know that little baby toe that just sits on the end of ur foot? there for whatever abuse is gonna get dished out to it...? our poor little toe has like a split toenail. or a corn kind of thing growing to the right that will peel off but leaves raw meat behind. i can't explain it but i know it hurts. i peel it, trim it, cut & file it just to keep it under control. it stays tender and i absolutely hate it. poor babies have it. they r without a doubt his babies. dom has it too..
wanna discuss aliens? we have a trademark....

Saturday, September 04, 2004

Two New Aliens

i get to meet the twins tomorrow. i'll have to post back cos we're spending the night at sonnys & all going tomorrow to a state park.. more to come.

Dom Poo

dom has a slight rash so, i've been letting him go without a diaper here & there. guess this was one of the times that should've been between here & there. i'm doing up dishes & putting things away after lunch. dom says 'memaw poop'. i look around just in time for him to squat again having already dropped a good size hard load. (i add hard so u know it wasn't a disgusting mess to clean up.) well, we're also trying to give him an idea of how potty training is going to go. i grab him up & tell him 'ok, lets go to the potty & u can poo.' as i step over the gate to the hallway i look back to see where ixxie is. she's safely watching tv. off we go.
but the dog...oh nooo, the dog. i catch a glimpse of my dog as i am goin over the gate. the dog is at the 1st offense gulping & swallowing fast when i see the 2nd offense. the first offense is disappearing fast. gulp... gone. nowhere to be seen. oh no... my dog ate poo..
mousey just ate dom poo... i had to come back into the room to remove the 2nd turd telling her the whole time 'NO MOUSEY, COME TO MOM. come on.!!! that dog kisses me. i can't have her eating shit. right? RIGHT?
dom & i can practise potty anytime.

Monday, August 23, 2004

Bring On The Aliens

this weekend has been interesting. dom was in a mean mood all weekend. punching, kicking, pulling hair & making faces. i can tell he's been exposed to someone new. i'm not sure which kid is teaching him these things or if maybe ixxie is being done this way & in turn treating him the same. i don't like it. i thought about teaching him the term 'time out'. except i know he won't understand just yet. i tapped his butt once that didn't phase him. i told him countless times not to hurt sissy or memaw. when i picked him up & he started kicking or punching i sat him back down & said 'ok, if that's how u want to act i won't hold u. i don't want to hold an ugly boy.' he insisted on being picked up only to punch u or make an ugly face.
ixxie was just as mean except she didn't tell on herself. thus, adding whining & tattling to her list. u can't turn ur back on her that she's not making some nasty face or mumbling under her breathe at u. all of which irritate the hell out of me. the whining & tattling r mostly what u can expect from little girls. little boys tend to strike back in some way instead. the nasty faces makes me want to stand her in a corner to think about who the boss is. the mumbling on the other hand makes me want to smack a mouth. i can't stand hearing some little kid make some sarcastic comment under their breathe that they think u can't hear. the first thing that comes to mind is shut that ugly hole in that kids head. of course, i maintain my composure & try to reason with them instead but honestly my first thought is bad. hello alien! i won't knock u off ur feet with a smack across the mouth but u need to learn in the future that this is not something i'm gonna put up with. the older u get the worse this can get if i don't put a stop to it right now. the curse of the hidden alien is u will deal with memaw. i will win.
i've taught son, all his life, that he would never get too big for me to love or knock out. whatever the situation warrants. 'if i have to stand on a ladder & use a skillet i will always win' is how i put it to him. thankfully, he's never tested this (i know i really wouldn't & i don't think he really ever believed me) just the threat has always been enough. he's never disrespected me or hurt me intentionally. i think he just has a good, level head for problem solving & uses his common sense. now to begin again & teach the new children. to quote elvis...lord, this time u gave me a mountain.
another alien reared its ugly head this weekend. an ex girlfriend of sons. he met her in the first grade & came home telling me that he met the girl he wanted to marry. that she was the most beautiful, sweet & funny girl he had ever met. they were good friends all through school simply because, when dating became an option, both always seemed to be dating someone else when the other was free.
after graduation they lost contact & rediscovered each other in a bar one night which should have been the first clue. they were both fresh out of relationships. she had a son & still lived at home (with her mother) living on welfare. he had a job, an ex-wife & his own apartment. they spent a year & a half trying to make a life together. too many years, too many ex whatevers & too many secrets later they decided they would never work. they again went their separate ways. until this weekend when she decided she wanted to reintroduce son to the 'throes of april'. she showed up first on friday out of the blue with the son that we had known. god love him, he had skinnied up & was turning into a handsome young man. i thought nothing of it at the time. just that she was being sentimental & wanted to say hi to some familiar faces.
NOT.. she showed back up on sunday not even 10 minutes after mommy & daddy arrived. i think she was even laying in attack mode up the street waiting for her prey. she showed up drunk wearing a bikini top with cut off short shorts & combat boots. loud & obnoxious trying
to intice my son. he wouldn't even look at her due to not making mommy go balistic. mommy glared. glared hard every time ex opened her mouth. ex was too drunk to even notice that she wasn't welcomed or even appreciated for all her loud, intrusive not so subtle hints that she wanted my sons attention. falling over everything trying to make friends with the kids while she rubbed her boobs all over my hubby. she was just an ass.
after they left i told her that i felt sorry for him when exgirlfriends like her showed up. she wasn't the first to decide that they belonged together, afterall, and whether he is happy or not is nobody elses business. that he is trying to make a life with this woman that gave birth to his son & allow that son to have a good life. she didn't appeciate my input but she also didn't retain it. she went out the door still saying that they belonged together. she was tired of being alone & had never really gotten over him.
and life goes on...

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

A Letter To Dominic

Hi Big Guy,
I have wished for you most of my life. I've always known that I would love you so hard that it would hurt. To the point of not hardly being able to stand it.
I dreamed that you would look like your daddy. That you would have a bright and inquisitive nature. Curiousity for all that stood before you. Always ready to learn. You'd be smart and maybe become a Nobel Prize Winner or a great leader for a good cause. You'd dazzle everyone with your sweet personality and quick wit. In my dreams you are always the center of attention. You're just too personable & intelligent not to be. Sensitivity & compassion is no stranger for you. You want to help the world and the world responds to you with as much adoration as you deserve. With a twinkling smile and a strong shoulder always there for whoever needs you. You would be the perfect addition to this world.
I had given up on being a grandmother though. I didn't think my dream would ever come true. But to my utter delight God saw fit to grace us with your existence.
What the future holds for you is still to be discovered. But from the day you were brought into this world I've know it is to be a great future. You had to be taken C-section because you would just not turn around. It seemed like you didn't want to let go of that warm wonderful place you had lived for 9 months. Refusing to turn your smiling face around & determined to come out backwards. Maybe you hadn't finished your plans for the world yet. Or made up your mind as to how you would change all that is bad. Maybe you wanted the world to know that it could just kiss your ass cos it had met its match. Look out I come!!!
When I held you in my arms for the first time and introduced myself I knew that anything was possible. You squeezed my finger and looked at me with a wide eyed wonder. I was so awed. It made me feel so ready to teach you everything I could. I want to show you the world. I want you to know love like no other. I want for you the safest, most perfect world to grow up in. As long as I am capable of giving these things to you I want you to know I will be there. When you are ready to branch out & take the world by the horns I want you to know that anything I can do I am there for you.
I love you with all my heart. I hope you always know that. I hope you always remember that. I hope you always remember me in a special nook of your heart. That is where you will always be for me. My Dominic nook. Where I will always tuck the great memories that we share together. The love & the bond that will always be just ours. I pray that it just keeps getting bigger everyday.
It is the same way with your daddy. He has been the love of my life for so many years that I wouldn't want to live without him. We have such a special bond that nothing could ever break. I've taught him to love & respect both who he is & those who touch his heart. And always reach for the greatest levels in all he does. He knows how proud I am of him & his accomplishments. I think he will be the wonderful father that I raised him to be. Now the two of you complete me. I am the happiest I could ever dream to be.
I want you to know all these things. Above all, I want you to be the happiest, most complete, well adjusted being you can be. With confidence to take on anything you want to accomplish. Never to know defeat. Forever knowing you have the support of your family in all you do.
I love you Dominic.

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Stupid! Stupid!! Stupid!!!

I've figured out why all the options that blogspot offers hasn't worked for me. stupid me!!! i just realized that all these free options are only applicable if u pay for the site. and of course, how could they stay in business if they don't charge u for their time & troubles. all this time i've been trying to apply hello, blogrolling & picasca with no results. i did all they said but nothing ever showed up on my blog. except some x icon that takes u to a hello main page or a caption with no picture. how could i be so stupid? now i see.

Sunday, August 15, 2004

Always Like To Get The Nitty Gritty

i called on friday to see what was going on with the kids. i haven't heard anything all week. nothing was going on but my son was working & everyone has been busy. (this is what i was told & yet, in his defense) like hubby & i, my son works at least an hour from home. that just doesn't allow for alot of time to have a life outside of work & chores. family kind of gets swept aside in the bustle. so fool that i am asked if they had any plans for me to meet our twins. mommy kinda got snippy with me & i found out the real problem in this meeting. rude & self centered thing that she can be here comes the nitty gritty. she said 'i'm tired of everybody pushing US into this. i think we can just do it in our own time. and i don't think that she needs to stay the whole time the twins r here. she needs to just drop them off & leave. let us get to know them without her around.' now, we get down to it. i'm not the best person for her to gripe to because i think she's the worst drama queen i've ever met. but i consoled her to the best of my ability. i would like to get to know these girls without any outside intervention as well. lets face it though. how many good mothers would just drop their kids off with total strangers without a little getting comfortable time first? not me, & she wouldn't do it either. its just her 'it better be all about me syndrome'. so i mentioned that maybe i could get in touch with the mommy & maybe get to visit & therefore get acquainted & make this happen a little sooner for son. no! she would do it in her own time. this time next year i may tell u about my new granddaughters. this chic my son is with has what 'she calls' agoraphobia. where u can't leave the house cos u get deathly ill or freak out. i've never seen any sign of this just that she's a bitch that wants things her way & this is one of her excuses to do things when she gets around to it. sharing my son (with his newly acquired family) obviously is not one of the things she wants to do right away. so i am left to pray that my son will take things in his own hands (& forget about the battle that certainly will insue) because he wants to meet his children too.
ever notice what some women can get if they just hold out on a little bit of action? its insinuated on television shows & in stories all the time. i wondered if that was it. honestly for most men its all about the sex. right? i know son has too many girls still stopping by here wanting to know what he's up to so it can't be for her threat of 'lack of nookie'. could it? he could just get that somewhere else. think about it, that's what got him in this situation in the first place. i don't know what to think but if he doesn't get his kahunna's in a grip & get this done i'm gonna cut loose on him. and let me tell u psychobitch, that she is, hasn't seen nothing compared to this mad momma. i'm getting pushed there quickly.

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Better Luck

hopefully, next weekend. apparently, she didn't return the call this week so, we didn't get to meet the twins. i'm disappointed but it gives me alittle more time to adapt to this idea.
now, i have to get busy & deal with bmv. they want to take away my driving privledges.

Sunday, August 08, 2004

Dom Has Left The Building

yes, my little man is gone for the week, back home without his mamaw. just about the time i started to post the kids showed up & i've decided i don't want them to read me. u know, i've said some pretty honest things here & i don't want to hurt feelings. speaking of hurt feelings, my mother in law sorta hurt my feelings today. we had a sunday dinner thing with the in laws for hubby's birthday. they always do dinner, desserts & presents. (come to think of it not always, hubby's inclusion in this ritual has only been over the last few years.) i didn't say anything, at the time, because i didn't want to ruin the festivities. for the 2nd time since dom has been borned i've asked her what he's supposed to call them. whether we try to work us all out as mamaw & papaw or grandma & grandpa doesn't matter to me but I want some definition to who is who. the first time i mentioned it she blew me off & drifted on with other conversations & we didn't get a chance to get back to it. this time she actually said 'what we told another little child that was part of our family, mr. & mrs. me'. i have been telling hubby that his parents doesn't think much of either of us 'daughters' married into the family but he doesn't see it. he also thinks i'm wrong about her being serious. she's a tiny, red headed, strict, irish, catholic woman. u tell me, do u think she'd say it if she didn't mean it? sorry if i'm being too touchy. hubby says i'm wrong but seriously, i don't need a brick over the head to get the point. my mom has rubbed me wrong on this subject, as well. when asked, she didn't want to be known as 'granny'. which was what my mamaw became the day my son was born. she told me she would have to think about it. u know, the thing that gets me here is u don't have a choice in this matter. a child is gonna call u what they want to. but it all hurt my feelings cos they don't want to acknowledge my grandson as part of 'their' family. my dad is too wrapped up in his widget (an acronym nickname i've given his live in) to even care what we call him. my mom doesn't want to be old enough to be a granny & my in laws really aren't a huge part of our lives anyway. but i still don't like it. it all hurts my feelings. i want him to feel love & comfort wherever he goes. he deserves to have a wonderful life as do all children. poor baby has so many obstacles to overcome in this day & time, i just want to be there for him. i wish the rest of my family loved us enough to care.
gotta get ready for work tomorrow.

Am I Crazy Or Really Computer Illiterate?

ok, well, i tried to post my pic in my profile. thats what it said where i clicked. but when i look all i see is the hello program. so, i guess i just don't get this linking photo thingy.
don't have time right now. daddy & mommy just showed up to get my baby boy. i'll be back..
and yes, thats a threat...

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

New Family Members

and speaking of, i'd like to acknowledge the birth of Gabriella Mercedes. welcome to the world Gabby. if u would like to go to Yvonees' site named 'AGED AND CONFUSED' u would be amazed. (i don't know how to link it just yet but i will edit this as soon as i figure out how.) she posted a picture of her new daughter within hours of her birth. beautiful baby & beautiful mommy, hopefully, doing well.
i think i get to see the twin girls this weekend.
guess we'll see cos visitation is beginning this weekend.
any advise or input is greatly appreciated.

Monday, July 26, 2004

99% Positive

well, i posted a whole lot of stuff last night. somehow, i lost the whole thing.
it began with the title line... 99% positive as well.
my son was requested to appear in court sometime in june to make arrangements for a paternity test. he had to take that test on june 24. the test results r in & they turned out to be positive. when he dropped the kids off on friday he also dropped the bombshell. He has also fathered twin girls that r now 2 1/2 years old.
he's not supposed to be able to have kids. when he was 4 years old he was run over by a tractor. it was in deep mud & his little bones being soft didn't even break anything. but it smushed him enough that it backed the blood up in his eyes. the doctors told us then that it probably damaged his reproductive chances. they weren't even sure what it might have done to the rest of his organs. only time would tell.
he's been in 2 relationships that was committed enough that they wanted children. married, committed &/or planning for a family but it never happened. we attributed that to his possible inability to procreate. well, guess what? they were WRONG.
i've been there from the beginning with dominic. i was the first to be told that i was gonna be a grandma. i was told, in the beginning, that if it was a girl her name would be 'amber eudella' & a boy would be named 'dominic chad' (the name being a family thing) i was in on everything. whenever there was a doctors appointment & what was said. i was told the weight gain & i got to hear the heartbeat. i got to see the birth which was a c-section cos he was coming out breach. i took pictures during the entire birth. i was right there through all of it. daddy held him first & i held him next while mommy had her tubes tied. i watched them clean, measure, weigh & dress him. he's my everything. my life, my love, my man, the apple of my eye. he's the first grandson for me & the first great anything for my family. i love him dearly & with all of my heart.
but, now we find out he's not the first. he's the 3rd. doesn't matter to me. he rocks & he's the stuff that makes this old heart tick. everything about him is too cool. he has such a great personality already. he grabs my face now, and asks, 'do ya love me'. he's trying to twist his tongue upside down (which is also a family thing). he's just so great for a little kid.
this will be so different. i haven't gotten a chance to see these kids. twin girls...2 1/2 years old. blond haired, green eyed baby girls. OMG, how do u jump into someones life & just start intwining? where do u start? how do u start? i am so anxious to see how this turns out. my son & the mothers of these kids all seem to be handling it. very adult. it makes me proud to see my son handling such a grownup thing in such a grownup way. he truly rocks.
so, to my new granddaughters i would like to say 'welcome to the family & i hope we are all whatever you need us to be. i always want to be a part of your lives. i truly hope that we can make a good impression in your lives.'

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

That Fast & I'm Back

great!! my counter appears to be active. i'm not really blogger suavy so any input would be appreciated. how do i link my picasa account here? i use blogroll & have linked some blogs there but i still don't know how to use it in my own blog. input, instruction, insight or information would be welcome..
gotta go to work tomorrow & it's getting late.

I'm Blank

i need to blog & have been thinking about it for days. i have things come up all the time that i want to remember.  when i actually sit down to put it in type my mind goes blank. now thats out of the way watch this turn out to be one of my longest blogs.
hubby has added a counter to his blog & is going to put one here for me. of course, his gonna fix the vcr, paint the ceiling & finish the water heater too. there are some things that he will jump on & the rest usually gets done by me eventually. i created an album on snapfish then discovered that i need to use picasa instead. which i did but i still haven't figured out how to link that in the sidebar. i just haven't gotten to it yet. am i lazy? well, duh!!! i'll be the first to tell u yes, and don't forget i love my sleep. and i used to love to read but i don't have time for all that these days.
dom has gotten to be a trip. he talks & chatters constantly. some words u can catch, some are a mystery. two of my favorite words are guck (duck) & goggie (doggie). reminds me that his daddys was druck (truck) & deelings (feelings).  i've been trying to get him to say 'i love u'. something i couldn't wait for his daddy to say when he was a child & now i remember the excitement of experiencing all those new words with him. he tries to say i love u but he does this weird little twist with his tongue & it sounds like 'i glaa glaa'. i know what he means. last weekend he woke up from a nap & said 'oh shit'. it had just been said on tv right before he looked up at me. he must have heard it though.
sorry but i have to go fast right now. hubby is ready for the counter thingy..

Saturday, July 17, 2004

My Heart Is Breaking

i feel really bad. when i called about getting the kids this week. mommy told me that ellie had a big old bruise on her cheek. the whole family was out in the yard.  daddy & dom was on the riding lawn mower. ellie was supposed to be playing on the porch. well, mommy picked up a landscape timber to move out of the way & cracked ellie right in the jaw. who turned out to not be minding (as usual) & was  no longer on the porch but standing right behind her. looking at ellies' face is breaking my heart. she bit the inside of her jaw & it's swollen as big as a baseball. poor baby. i felt so bad for her when i first saw her that i cried. from guilt or sympathy i'm not sure. this is karma or something though. what comes around goes around kinda thing. u should never laugh when u hurt someone else. it will definitely come back to haunt u. she learned that the hard way (or is her lesson to listen & mind when u'r told to do something?) papaw & i took them shopping today & bought her some new clothes. we also rented some movies for her including shrek. i've been giving her baby aspirin & letting her chew on ice cubes. plus, of course, she's eating icy pops. don't u wish u could just keep them all safe from harm always? it will never happen. they grow up & leave the nest sooner or later. then u can only hope u taught them right & pray for them everyday to be safe & healthy.
hubby is craving the pc right now. i've been in with the kids while he worked in the garden. but they have a way of keeping u busy. u know? now that he's done out there he wants to do his thing. he gets about 5 newspapers from around the world. wouldn't u think he'd get enough bad news right here at home? i do. on top of that he loves to surf the web. while he was layed off he spent entire days on the web. i'd try to call home & always get a busy signal. but let me email him & he'd get right back to me. and then i created a monster. i introduced him to the world of blogging. when i learn how, i'll link him for u. back to the topic... right now he wants me hurry so he can 'do his thing tonight.' i remember a day when i could play anytime i wanted to as long as i wanted to. ahh, for the good ole days.
dom has adjusted to his missing tooth. amazing how kids bounce, isn't it? he's getting big enough now that  u can't keep him in any playpen of any kind. he can say anything he wants. and he likes to hit. i think he's gonna be a bully!!! except when u pretend to cry he cries too. if u fuss at ellie & she cries, he cries too. it's a wonder both these kids don't think their names are 'NO' & 'DON'T' though.  seems like thats what u'r saying to them more than anything else. why do they stress test u all the time? they have all the toys in the world & would rather play with the crystal nic nacs.
ellie is picking up her papaws bad habits. she likes to watch 'dr. who' & 'mystery science theater'. papaw, for all his faults, is a walking set of encyclopedias. he knows alot about anything u need to know about. he is amazing with his brain capacity. i've never known anyone that can retain so much information. sometimes it is just useless information but when u ask about something he can tell u.
i love my family. i'm gonna go enjoy them now. dom is high fiving & yelling something about
'i did it'

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Ha!! Trickery

hubby turned the pc on tonight but on the way home we discussed adding counters to our blogs. he had already added one. but i couldn't get the damn thing to apply. well, when we got home he was gonna show me how his counter was applied. it wasn't there. so, now i have the computer but he's eyeballing it with drool running out his mouth. i guess i'll be nice & give it up. i really don't have alot to talk about.

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Timing Is Everything

at least in my house. u'll notice occasionally i have a fairly long time between blogs. well, the hubby is a computer hog to put it mildly. if, and only if, i beat him to turning the damn thing on do i get to even use it for the day. unless i just gripe so much he gets tired of hearing it. then he may give it up. mind u, not always does this work. that's why the gap between blogs.
i read a blog yesterday that a guy had been put on suspension for his blog. apparently he had mentioned some of his superiors in the blog & they didn't appreciate what he said about them. is that legal? isn't that infringing on ur first amendment rights? if he had a rally defending himself i would march with him. i think u should be able to express ur own opinions without having to answer to ur boss. of course i'm talking away from the job. i mean the only people i feel i have to answer to is my god & my parents. even my parents don't push that. but if they asked i would succumb to whatever they asked. because i was raised to respect them & their rules.
so, this past weekend was the worst weekend i've ever had with ixxie. i don't know what's going on with her but her stubborness is getting out of hand. i actually had to spank her. i've never spanked her before cos i've always been able to talk sense into her. not this weekend. she refused to do anything we asked & after having several talks she still continued to do what i asked her not to. so, i threatened her with a spanking. she simply ignored me anyway. she's getting worse with dom too. meaner & more sneaky. now she tries to hurt him when u'r not looking & lies about what she did. i've lost my patience with her. i am from a broken home so i know that kids like her needs extra attention. she just really makes it hard. she also still thinks it's funny that she "broke dom" & i can't forgive her for that. i'm trying hard to get my younger sis to take more interest in her cos they go to church more often than i do. maybe church will have some influencing effect on her (should that be affect?).
on the other hand, dom is getting more & more entertaining. he's noticed that our dog(a minature shelty)is a hoover of sorts. she's picky but she eats alot of things that hit the floor. this weekend while papaw, ixxie & him ate popcorn some of it landed on the floor. he looked around the room & spotted m across the room & called for her to come eat the num-nums. he also points out the moon. he loves showers as opposed to bathes. he makes the most horrible face when eating grapes but after the initial burst he loves them. what's that all about? i think he's gonna be a computer wiz. he can already sign onto the web without any help. we're not sure how he even does it but he can do it anytime he wants. no, he's not ready to type just yet but i'll teach him quickly. he looks so funny with his missing tooth. i hope as he grows up the kids don't tease him over that. they could change his whole life by making fun of him. before i pictured he'd be a ladies man like his daddy. now, this could change his security about himself. it doesn't seem to bother him. yet. he's so tough we call him 'rock' these days.
i dropped my watch in the dishwater tonight. hope it doesn't ruin it.
work is booming. we're so busy right now we don't have time to think..
well, guess i've rambled on enough. i think we're all caught up. i'll let u go for now.

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Sensitive & Loving

we watched 'sam i am' this weekend. my big bad tough son actually had to leave the room cos this movie got to him so bad it made him cry. i couldn't believe it when i looked over & saw tears streaming down his face. i just said 'i love u, big goof' & he looked at me with such compassion that it shocked me. i know he's a good kid & loves jesus but he always acts so tough. its good to know that down deep his compassion for others hurting still gets to him. and i think its good for all of us to let go & cry once in awhile. spiritually cleansing. u know?
ixxie has gotten to me even a little more. she told me that she 'broke dominic' & laughed. i still see nothing funny about it. and i still want to spank her....i need to get over it or its gonna eat me up. but the little guy is so sweet & it just breaks my heart that i can't protect him from everything that he's gonna have to deal with. theres so much now a days that u have to teach kids. the last thing they need is a threat in their own home. i'm afraid sissy has a mean streak that we may not be able to control. she hoards all toys. whether they belong to her or him doesn't matter. if she sees him looking at a toy that he may want she runs to beat him to it & won't let him have it. if she sees him standing on a blanket or something she won't hesitate to yank it from under him. what i've seen lately is her letting her hair fall into her face so u can't see the look she's giving u. what i glimpse is an evil i hate u look, like she could just spit on u. she's a hard headed kid & it's gonna take alot to change her attitude. wish us luck. and pray that she doesn't kill us all in our sleep someday.

Saturday, July 03, 2004


for those who don't know, that means, 'what would jesus do'. we spent 4 hours at the hospital tonight. actually we spent 4 hours between 2 hospitals. no big deal as far as the doctors were concerned. just a matter of a general practioner saying i think he may need an oral surgeon & rushing him another 16 miles to get him to another hospital. but my beautiful grandson who had 24 teeth now only has 23 teeth. they simply pulled his tooth (front top left) & sent him home. why u ask? how did this stupid crap happen? his sister decided, after all the time she's been told not to lift him, that tonight would be the night she showed her ass & stumbled her way across the floor carrying him. after 4 times of being told to put him everyone in the room...she gracefully (ixxiefully) & predictably (even more ixxiefully) fell with him. i guess he must have turned his head just right to catch the side of the coffee table with his tooth cos it was folded straight out. for the first 7 or 8 minutes it was a freaked out decision call. there was a lot of blood & he was crying. 'it's his lip-oh no-its his tooth-oh god-what is it- guys we need to take him to the hospital-maybe they can save it- when we got him to open his mouth & saw the tooth we tried to move it back in place. nobody wanted to make him cry any more than he was & we certainly didn't want to hurt him. we just wanted to get this fixed. we all really hoped they could save it. put it back & wait for his permanent teeth to come in or something. But we all knew that they would just take it out. i just can't believe sissy had to hurt him so soon after he blessed us all. i leave this in gods hands cos i felt like spanking her for being so irresponsible & hard headed. if she had only put him down the first time she was told maybe it wouldn't have happened.

Friday, July 02, 2004

Best Weekend Ever

Last weekend was absolutely the best i've had since we started keeping the kids. we only had dom which was a blessing in disguise. ixxie went to her aunts house (due to my punishment) but then they decided they wanted to do something that they needed someone to keep dom. that would be me..thank you. teaching dom is so fun. he repeats everything these days. he can tell u his name now. we went visiting with family that he doesn't usually get to visit cos ixxie is just too much. we walked at our state park. he laid back under the pine trees & realized how tall they were & looked back at pappaw & said "wow". i was amazed that he was that observant. but he is pretty smart & that isn't being biased, it's just the truth. he has a toy that a blow motor pushes balls through & up into the air then falls back down into a hole to repeat the process. well, it comes into 3 pieces & the last time instead of bringing it to us he put it back together by himself. actually looked underneath it to line the holes up so they would fit together. kids amaze me with the thinking process. after my great weekend with him i talked daddy into letting my sister (not the one that went to jail) keep him for her birthday. she wound up keeping him until tues. evening before she could bare to part with him. so, mommy & daddy had a nice long break from both kids. then before they went home on tues. i got to see him once again. my sister said he didn't cry once the whole time she had him & she's in love. my brother in law told me to watch out i had competition for the mamaw thing. not gonna happen but i love it that my sister loves him that much too. so, now i'm just waiting for this workday to be over so i can get home & love him up again. cos i'm ready for the weekend....

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

hey a title line ??

what's up with that? i never had a title line before. always room for improvement i guess. not much going on these days. not having the kids kinda hurts. i miss them. i have these pictures at work that keep reminding me of how much i miss them. i thought about taking them down today. i won't.
the cicadas r all gone. they were here for about 6 weeks. it was hilarious to see the people in the city walking around with tennis & badminton rackets or umbrellas that circled over their head. one guy had a rolled up newspaper everytime i saw him & continually swung it as he walked. we had members not renew until after they were gone. kinda crazy to freak out over some little bug. they don't eat the entire time they r out. they drink & procreate. thats it. every mans dream right? drink & have sex.
ok. i'm bored. can u tell? i've gotta find something to wake me up. maybe some coffee. later....

Sunday, June 20, 2004

and my punishment continues. today being fathers day. i called & wished him a happy fathers day. nothing was mentioned about last weekend or why they didn't bring the kids up. it was just not acknowledged. sweep it under the carpet & go on? like it never happened. ok. i don't see this happening but i'll go with it. for now........

Thursday, June 17, 2004

I've started this thing about 3 times & decided before posting to not because i was still so upset that i knew i would regret whatever i said. even though that was actually what i was thinking. my son went on a drinking binge ( of the hidden aliens) last weekend & everyone paid the consequences except him. mommy was pissed & left alone all weekend. the kids stayed with me & daddy went to a friends in our area to stay until monday morning when he decided to sober up & come back to earth. i heard it from both of them all weekend & in the end i'm the bad guy for not putting up with the shit & taking the verbal abuse. so, i look to be punished & not get to see the kids for a few weekends. oh well, it's hard to get things done with the kids around on the weekend. this will give us a chance to get some things taken care of. i know i'm not calling them. yes, i'm cutting my nose off to spite my face but come on!!!! i do them a huge favor taking the kids every weekend & i get no appreciation for it. do u know anyone else that keeps their grandkids every weekend?? then for them to think they can treat me like whatever & talk to me like whatever. well, WHATEVER JUST QUIT!!!!!

Thursday, June 10, 2004

lil sis lucked out. they released her with no strings attached. if u ever get into trouble keep in mind that they want the money above anything else. just think. 2 years of hiding & running for a measly $120.00 bucks. crazy, don't u think?
is anyone out there any good with linking in these blogs? i can't, for the life of me, figure out how to add the blogs i read to my links. i know...stupid, stupid, stupid. i enlarged my font. all by myself. i'm sure i could figure out the rest in my spare time. if i had any. of course, i'm lazy too. which means i get home from work, take a shower, watch some t.v. & go to bed. i hate getting up in the morning. i have sleep apnea which means i stop breathing about a hundred times through the night. it causes me to wake up, therefore, not getting much sleep. told u i'm getting old.
our major exhibit opened to the public tonight. of course, it rained. kinda put a damper on the attendance. but all in all i'm sure it went over well. about 20 animatronic dinosaurs showed up & began wagging their tales & showing their teeth. they growl & their eyes move. standing anywhere from 8 inches to 20 feet tall. really too cute for words. u'd have to see it to believe it. one had eggs that was cracking open. one was eating it's prey. there is a dig site as well for the kids. and the souveniers are too cute. we have chocolate eggs that open up to expose baby dinosaurs, stuffed animals, t shirts, books, masks, banks, everything dinosaur. there's a ride that u interact with dino's & come face to face with them. the chair shifts around & makes u feel like u'r moving through them.
i found a sippy cup i just have to have for dom. it has a little container inside the cup that has a tiger & elephant floating in liquid that moves as u turn the cup. he'll love it.

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

does life ever slow down? i know it never takes a break but why does it always have to be such a fast roller coaster? the kids are growing like weeds & dom actually has conversations with you now. (well 3 word sentences but he gets his point across). he's still a very happy baby. one of his favorite words is 'happy'. he says it in alittle sing song kinda way. 'happy, happy, happy'. so when i get feeling blue i try to remember that & am thankful that i am a part of what makes his little world 'happy, happy, happy! i have my digital camera & plan on posting pics as soon as i figure out how to work it. i just have no time to read the instructions right now. my youngest sis just got herself landed in the county jail. stupid... has anyone ever told you it doesn't pay to run from the law? they do call it the 'long arm of the law' for a reason. after being on probation for 5 years & having her fine payed down to a mere $120.00, she couldn't make it to see her probation officer one day & decided that she was just gonna run away from her problems. the worst part of that was a.) she couldn't get a job because they would have to turn in her social security number. b.) she couldn't afford to feed herself without a job. c.) those she considered friends did everything they could to get her caught. d.) she was forced to basically hide out. i've been there for her as much as possible through all this. her fine has been paid finally. by a new friend she has made that she helped out by babysitting her son. yaay, for new friends. it looks like she may luck out & all they really want is her money. the word is the judge wants to see her in court. but the p.o & the judge has agreed that if the fine was paid they are gonna turn her loose. and after over a year of hiding out all it took was to pay that stupid f*#%ing fine.
daddy, mommy, hubby & i took the kids to the local drive-in this weekend to see the new harry potter movie. it was fun & the movie was well worth the wait. i love the potter stories. i've read all the books several times over. the kids were really pretty good. dom was bored here & there but for the most part he watched right along with us. and of course, ixxie talked alot but we still got to watch. we allowed ixxie to have her first sleep over too. a friends daughter that is a little older likes to momma ixxie & they wanted to spend the night together so we agreed. it was good for her. the one thing i realized is that little girls are very demanding. lots more than little boys. i like little boys better. we kept them busy outside as much as possible but it was still alot of work for hubby & i.
next week we have a graduation to attend. also, a double birthday party. another full weekend to say the least.
oh, i've had an epiphany! i know when i got old. the day i cut my hair short. all that weight gone allowed my skin to all fall forward. from the top of my head to my knees. all of a sudden i have a face full of wrinkles, my boobs reach my navel & i can't even see that anymore!! to all of u that still has long hair--keep it. you'll be glad you did.
ta ta for now...

Monday, May 31, 2004

Memorial Day. It makes me think of all the people we've lost over the years. The first one that comes to mind is my mother. She died of a heart attack brought on by an ashma attack. She was only 46. She was the funniest & most loving woman I've ever known. She not only raised us as a single parent for many years but took in foster children. Because she said everyone deserves good memories and she hoped to leave some good memories in childrens lives that may not have any. She identified with needy kids cos she was raised poor. Mom had a hard life. She worked in a plastic company without any kind of face protection. They said the small particles of plastic floating around was what damaged her lungs. When I was a kid she would tell me to duck down in the car when she wanted to flirt. I never knew her father, he passed away long before I was ever conceived. Her mother is the only blood grandparent I ever knew. My dads parents were also gone before I was born. The next one is Waistdog. A well loved blogger that recently died of a heart attack as well. Also a very funny guy. I didn't know him but always enjoyed reading his rants & hilarious posts. When I was young & looking for a husband the first guy I ever was engaged to died suddenly. It was never revealed to me what they thought killed him. I finally married TRR. Who fell asleep in the car one morning waiting to go hunting. His favorite pasttime. It was a chilly morning & he layed down in the car to catch a few winks before daylight & left the car running. He had taken the back seat out of the little car while he was restoring it. The fumes seeped into the car & his dreams. For awhile I wondered if every guy I got involved with had any chance at having a life after hooking up with me. One of the next 3 is still alive. From there the list just grows & grows. Memorial day should last for at least a week & you should get that entire week off with pay. You'd never have time to visit all the graves you would like in one day. And you need all your money to buy flowers for each grave. So, in dedication to my Mom...I miss you & I love you. xoxoxox

happy memorial day all.

Thursday, May 27, 2004

i live in an area that the 17 year cicada's have erupted. talk about loud. these things come in droves and they make so much noise u can't hear urself think. i just watched a wasp attack a cicada. poor cidada has no control for awhile when it comes to flying & landing. so, he took off right into a wasp. pissed him off right now & immediately the fight was on. of course, nobody won cos the cicada's body is a hard armor kind of thingy & the wasp couldn't sting him. so, the fight ended with the wasp just flying off. but it was funny to watch & of course, i was pulling for the

Monday, May 17, 2004

What a bitch. what a bitch. What A Bitch.....i don't feel any better.
and more on the hubby pms-ing. if he doesn't get over himself real soon i think i'm gonna show him what (& how to really be good at it) pms is all about. did u ever want to forget about being a lady & just clock someone? i mean hit them so hard they don't know what week they're in, let alone what state. i've had the weekend from hell. can u tell? more later. just toooo busy right now.

What a bitch. what a bitch. that's all i wanted to say. What A Bitch.....

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

G'Day All,
I'd like to apologize for my not blogging. But!!! Have u ever had one of those years? (And mind u it's only May.) It feels like one of those years already. I don't dare ask "what next" or "could it get any better?" Because I can honestly say u just never know what life is gonna throw at u. Does anyone out there identify with this? Life just keeps getting better. Wanna hear my woes? Well, ur here so now please just listen to the craziness of my world. I received a letter from the Drivers Bureau. A random request for proof of insurance. (did u know they did this?) On a car that I own that has been broke down since around July of 2003. I have to have this car legally tagged due to rules of the community that I live in. But, not driving it I assumed I didn't need insurance. (I cancelled it in Aug.) So, I had to prove that it was not operable during the time they requested the proof of insurance for. Well, this has taken well over a month to get straightened out. With several letters, including proof of insurance on my current car, and a print out of what the diagnostic machine said was wrong & a letter head from a reputable mechanics shop stating that the car was absolutely inoperable. That finally done I waited for another 3 weeks to hear back on their decision of the paperwork I submited. And yes, my license & plates were safe from suspension. The very next day I receive another letter from the same Drivers Bureau that states again my license & plates need to be relinquished due to an accident (Hubby) that hasn't been rectified. This is too bizaare. This accident has been taken care of well over a year ago. Crazy but now I have to start all over again & prove that this is all 'paid in full'. But instead of them doing all the research I have to dig out all the proof that I have & u tell me, where is all that paperwork. I'd also like to point out that I have 15 days to get this together & I don't check my mail very often. It's always just bad news anyway. Needless to say, I have 8 days to
a: find the paperwork
b: copy enough bull shit to confuse them &
c: prove once again that I don't deserve to lose my driving privledges. Hubby has been pms-ing for a few monthes now. He's in a 'SELF' mood. Self absorbed, self centered & self righteous. Jeez, it's way too late for me to be awake. I'm gonna have to edit this & add to it in a very near future.
Sorry, gotta go to sleep.....

Saturday, April 03, 2004

blogging...ahh what a release, huh? it makes me melancholy. there's so many things i want to remember & never forget. man, am i in a mood. must be getting 'that time'. (mom will think that statement very inappropriate.) but let's face it, it's part of this thing called life. everybody has to deal with these feelings & truths. none will be above it. of course there is things that make it alittle easier. (sometimes) like money. love is great but who gets that? offspring & i'm so very proud of him. and now grandchildren. the joy of grandparenting became very obvious this morning. i am looking at ixxie with her cute little sprinkle of freckles across her nose & notice one that isn't a freckle. i reach to brush whatever off her face & OMG IT MOVED!!!! while she stands there digging in her head. so, i turn her around & start looking through her hair. oh yeah, it's lice. great! now, i have a long haired minature shelty named mousey & a cockatiel named peepers. will they also get head lice? does anyone know anything about this? i'm off now for the drug store. and guess what? is this my imagination or is my head really itching? and life just keeps getting better.
p.s. is ur head itching yet? if u don't help me within 4 minutes of reading this bill gates will not give u money, ur computer will explode & lice will start jumping through ur modem. laugh lindy laugh before u have a stroke....

Thursday, April 01, 2004

hey hey, this weekend ixxie & dom saw 4 planets & ixxie showed her mommy venus. mommy was surprised & learned something new. then papaw & ixxie went to krogers. turning around to pick up mix packets papaw heard ixxie say "papaw i'm rolling" to look aroung & find that she had pushed herself with the shelves to block the aisle on a really busy afternoon. once they got in the checkout line papaw started unloading the cart & realized that ixxie was singing "jeepers creepers, where'd u get those peepers." of course she had watched "jeepers creeeper 2" the night before. she really likes the scary movies. sitting around later that night she starts asking about vampire movies while watching our regular saturday night stuff. HUBBY'S INPUT : "no ixxie". finally she says "you know what would be a good Idear? VAMPIRE MOVIES" we're not really sure what she wanted to watch... duh?
dom gets too excited to be a new walker & "wrecks" alot. of course daddy wants to make him a tuff guy so when he wrecks daddy tries to make it to..not be a big deal. although dom might be bleeding from the head & shoulders. this weekend he ripped his lip from the gum. falling ... OUCH & slammed his head into a door frame. daddy said 'blow it off son & try again.' famous last words. 'who's gonna pick u up when u fall down daddy?' aren't kids cute? ok i gotta go..too tired to type anymore.
u know it's late here & i've got to go to bed bit i will be back..

Friday, March 26, 2004

WooHoo!!! i'm excited. finally figured out how to get the guestbook in the sidebar.. it's only taken me a week. now to find a bunch of stuff to add. i have a few in mind. so, on with the blog.

i don't have alot of air to share anymore. if i came across someone having trouble i've had the class before so i could help them. i'm sure i would. i did save a little girl once. we were at our local county park swimming. i saw her walking out farther & farther. she was really young like maybe 2 years old. anyway i watched her go under & by the time i got to her she wasn't there anymore. after frantically thrashing around i found her & pulled her up. she was spitting water & drawing breath fast. poor kid was scared to death. her mommy saw what happened & said she couldn't find her. it felt good so, yes i would help anyone that needed it.
been reading a lot of blogs. more & more interesting. i read one the other day that said "he thought the life cycle was all backwards" and described how it should go. i like his way of thinking. young people have a cool outlook sometimes. then i'm thinking how would that work? would we have dead bodies laying around that just comes to life & starts the backwards process? i can see 'dawn of the dead' all over. (which i'd like to add one of my brothers-in-law played a zombie)
my boys r coming to see me today. i can't wait. we talked to dom on the phone last night. he said "papaw" for hubby. he said "hi, what's up" to me. i love keeping him on the weekends. he's so fun.. i might be back today to expand on ixxie & dom. we'll see.

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

ok i know it's been a while since i've posted anything but i've had a crazy weekend & the week has been pretty close to the same.
conversation with sissy on friday:
gramma can u paint my nails?
sure ixxie. what color do u want? ( ixxie is my nickname for her cos last summer she was determined she had a tick in her ear so i stuck her with ixxie)
i don't care. alma painted them & it's wearing off.
(i choose pink)
ixxie do u know what color that is?
what color is it?
no, that's what its called but there's a name for it. do u know what the name of the color is?
yes, gramma.
what is the name of the color?
no, ixxie do u know ur colors?
yes, gramma.
tell me some of the colors u know.
(at this point i'm getting frustrated.)
ixxie do u know what red looks like? can u show me something red?
(she points to something blue)
no that's blue. what's red? she points at the same thing. ixxie that is blue. (so, i point at the same thing & ask) so what color is this?
no, ixxie. is it red, (shakes her head yes) no ixxie, what color did i just tell u it was? did i say green, red or blue?
oh god i'm gonna lose my mind. this child is a smart kid. she can repeat whole movies & every conversation she's ever heard. why can't she comprehend colors? so we worked all weekend with colors & by sunday she can show me red, yellow, green & blue. but getting her there was like pounding my head against the wall. more to come so hold on. work doesn't appreciate paying me to blog & i've got some cards to check right now.

Saturday, March 20, 2004

i truly expected that to just go in as the rss i copied there so i could find it when it came time to apply it. (after i figured out how to incorporate it into my blog ) screwed that up & a few other things too. but i will figure this shit out i know.

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hey again, it's saturday & the kids r here. dom is playing with papaw right now. he's getting into everything these days. he has 14 teeth. he showed us this by biting very hard with every one of them & leaving the imprint of each. he can eat just about anything too. except chips. he's not good with chips. and what is his fascination with paper? maybe he'll be a journalist. what do u think? his mommy loves to write poetry & both his daddy & mommy love to draw. he's got the most beautiful smile. he has a gap between his top front teeth (like me & his mom). he loves to climb too. that will come in handy when daddy takes him hunting. there's so many things he has yet to learn. we call him our miracle baby cos daddy was told years ago that he would probably never be able to conceive. and he tried hard not to come out. he was breach u see. so, they had to take him c-section. i have some great pics of his birth. the doctors were all very good about letting me take pics during the entire thing. they even held him up at the end so i could get a pic of all of them with him. when i learn how to use all the options i will post some of them. i'm a picture freak. it's the best way to remember my life. my mind may fail me but my pics will never let me down. ok. i'm off to browse now. more to come as usual.

Thursday, March 11, 2004

phone keeps interrupting me. i think i am becoming stupid. that's what old age gets u. i also wanted to tell more on Dom.. he's in a squeezing phase. he either has to squeeze 'it' or 'through it' these days. did u ever wonder how they could be so mean & so cute at the same time?

Monday, March 08, 2004

Just wanted to give an update on my weekend...Friday on my way home from work my tire fell off. OMG. Scared the crap out of me. Thankfully I wasn't far from home & friends were all around me. One went to get hubby while the other stayed with me. I didn't do too much damage & it looks like maybe at work someone is just being mean & destructive. I think I was riding on one lug nut all the way home. Which is about a 40 minute trip. There was another car that had been broken into. Window smashed & everything stolen from inside. I'm wondering if they were stealing tires & maybe got busted???
Thank goodness I didn't have Dom & Sissy in the car. We all went to see hubbys' Mum & Dad for birthdays. We celebrated both together. They just love having Dom & Eleesha. And Uncle Steve is so great with Dom..He needs to be a daddy. Dom did all his usual cute things. And surprisingly didn't try to head butt anyone. He gets in these moods tho. He wants to just be really rough. For example I have him in my arms & he hugs my neck...awww, isn't that sweet but all of a sudden he's got hands full of my hair & Yes he is hugging but he's pulling my hair out at the same time. Then he gives me that sheepish little grin like I'm supposed to understand sometimes he just has to get the meanness out...He learned about buttons this weekend. Now, he yanks your clothes around to see if you have buttons anywhere. And I sing ABC's to him to help him go to sleep. He hums them with me as I go. Guess that's all for now. Oh, yeah one last thing. The car that the tire fell off of was a gift from my sister. So, when that happened I called her just to aggravate. She hasn't called me back. HMMM, deep huh?


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
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how many of these things are there anyway? u can find out what u would be if you were anything from an animal to a zodiac. i've seen harry potter characters, lip gloss, candies, animals, politicians, and the list goes on & on. kinda ridiculous isn't it?

Sunday, March 07, 2004

OK. From start to date. I invited 2 people to this blog...Hubby & Mom.. Guess what. Neither has shown any interest. Even to check out the blog. Oh Well. It's still here.

Monday, March 01, 2004

Well, I'm back. It was late tonight but they finally got here. My son is a busy man these days. We didn't wind up going to bed until after 2:30 am. But Dom is here now & mamaw gets to aggravate him. He now knows his nose from his teeth & his ears from his eyes. I've been teaching him these things each weekend. He learns quickly. Oh, yea & I bit his finger. Accidently but I got him pretty hard. I was playing & chomping my teeth at him to get him to show me my teeth. Well, just as I chomped he decided to show me & his finger slid right between the teeth & CHOMP. Now we are learning fingers & toes. I bit his finger & he won't forget that very quick & I pull his toes. He doesn't like the "this little piggy went" game. He keeps curling his toes up so you can't get hold of them. He has a black eye from an encounter with a chair. Man, it's hard growing up. But soon, he'll stop the tottering thing & be able to stand firmly. One step at a time. Till next week.

Friday, February 27, 2004

Dom is coming to visit tonight. I can't wait to see what new little things he's up to these days. I just love everything about him. From his little tiny fingers to the interested looks he gives you. He pays such attention to the simple little things. Like watching you type on the computer. And commercials on tv. How he loves them. It doesn't matter what he's doing when a commercial comes on he's rivited. And he loves to dance. I think he's gonna be my boogie butt..

Thursday, February 26, 2004

Good Morning,
My car was broken into last night. It's a shame you can't have anything these days. They tried to take the cd/radio & now it won't work. Somehow they pulled part of it loose & it won't make a good connection. Well, at least they didn't get it out. So, even if I don't have it they don't have it either.

Somehow I lost my last blog.. it was only that my car was broken into.. no big deal. Opps, no I didn't. I found it.

Monday, February 23, 2004

Hi Again, I'm back with an update on Dominic's birthday party. It was just a little party with mom, dad, mamaw, papaw & of course big sister. Dom blew out his one candle with help from mom & dad. We all had a great time & he loved his little doggy that plays peek a boo with him. More to come later....

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Hi All, Just wanted to mention that Thursday, Feb 19 is Dominic's first birthday..Can we say 'Happy Birthday Dominic'? This year has been fun with Dom. He's a sweetie. More to come so keep in touch..