Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Is It Over Yet?

well, i can thank god that i've made it through another holiday season. i might add i didn't punch anyone out. (crazy fucking shoppers) although i did get pretty close when i got stuck behind a woman that just wouldn't get a move on & i motioned that i needed her to hurry along when her husband got snotty with me over 'her not being able to move very fast'. after i apologized for being anxious to GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE STORE he took it that i meant he could be an asshole so i kinda had to put him in his place & let him know that my world only revolved around me. i didn't run anyone off the road. (crazy fucking drivers) and i didn't have to deal with snow. (crazy fucking global warming) i've been off work since last friday & only work 2 days this week before i take off 2 more days. seriously folks, this has been a mini vacation for me & one great holiday season. i don't usually say that so you might want to frame this post. you'll probably never hear it out of me again. the last 2 weeks have cost me a total of about $1200.00 but i'm not complaining. i didn't use a credit card, it was all cash, so its not like i put me in debt. the one thing i love about this time of year is income tax time is right around the corner. the faster i can get them filed the more i love it cos that means more money back in my bank account.
we had a lovely time with nipper & her family with a big ole ham dinner. all the kids are healthy & traveler made it home from california so we all had a nice visit. on our way out we stopped by & wished dad & his woman a merry christmas & made plans to get together with them next weekend with all our aliens. all in all a very good week.
don't forget my bd is next week so if you want to donate to the cause you'll have to buy a bottle of yagermeister & about 2:30 am on the 2nd of january have a great big ole swig to wish me another year of health, wealth & great fortune. thats my plans for the day anyway & i'd love to know all my friends are joining me around the world. even if your not i'll pretend so be ready for that hangover i'll be sharing with you.
so goodbye for the 2007 year & hello to the new 2008 coming in. i probably won't be seeing you beforehand.
and now, on with the show!!!!!

she be done!

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Th, Th, Th, Thats All Folks

Merry Christmas to All!!!!
And to all a goodnight.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Ew Ew That Smell

what the fuck is it? yes, i know it smells like shit, dammit, but what exactly is it? really, theres no shit in my bathroom. we flush the toilet after we use it & everything goes down the hole. where could it be hanging out? i've cleaned out under the sink, inside the closet & all the rug pieces in the room. scrubbed the tub & toilet (actually hubby scrubbed the toilet for me) still that shit smell is there. i actually clean my bathroom once a week & wipe out the sink at least once a day. you know you always have to clean the sink after toothbrushing & hubby trimming his mustache. but hubby scrubbed the inside of the bowl cos the hard water, iron stains had gotten to be so ugly that i couldn't take it anymore. i got my gloves & sandpaper ready to do the job & he was all, 'oh honey, i'll do that for you. you just go to work & make the money. i'll be the house bitch for now'. and of course, i was all okay, great, go to it!

i used to love the smell of my bathroom. all you smelled was soap (that really great smelling vitamin soap make by dial), deodorant, shampoo, conditioner (i love the coconut ones), bed & bath bubble accessories, makeup, perfume & hairspray. the really great smells of a bathroom that when mixed together all smell so clean & inviting. a few weeks ago, all of a sudden like overnight, all you can smell is shit. i don't get it. i've lived here almost 30 years & i've never smelled my bathroom this sssttttiiinnnkkkyyyy!!!! in case you didn't get it that was a crybaby whine. i've stooped to pulling the carpet out of the bathroom just in case its under the damn thing. we've washed all the tank covers & seat covers & ewwwww, it still just smells like shit. although, i have finally accomplished one great task with all my bitching that i'm tired of being the only one that cares about the cleanliness of the bathroom.
i've bitched & moaned for years that i had hung my last roll of toilet paper. i've bitched until i was blue in the face. i've bitched to the point that even jammer will hang a roll of toilet paper now. isn't that great? now i can always walk into my stinky fucking bathroom & see the nice new roll of toilet paper hung on the wall. i am queen of my stinky fucking bathroom.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Catch And Release

why is it you never have a camcorder when you need one? things here at alien nation has been interesting to say the least.
friday honey called to let us know they would be on their way early so they could stop to do some shopping on their way home. fine with me. just means i get a little extra time with the big guy. she also informed me that jammer was in trouble. his teacher had called the night before to let them know he had borrowed a phone from the class room. it was a cell phone she had brought in for the kids to play with but it was a $200.00 phone. someone had told her that jammer was the guilty party & she wanted it back. nobody knew anything about him having a new phone so honey went into his room to look for it. of course, the kids were in bed & she didn't find anything so when they got up in the morning she asked jammer about the phone. he admitted to borrowing the phone but he had left it on the bus. what a thief! he didn't even bother keeping up with the damn thing until he got home. well, they did find the phone on the bus & it was returned. no harm....lots of foul. he's way too young to be getting a bad rap at school like that. but he was guilty & he was punished. you'd think he'd learn?
hubby & i needed to do some grocery shopping & you know how i can't stay away from the dollar store? i took the kids into the dollar store with me so he could get the shopping done quicker. (don't worry, he had a list.) i told the kids i'd buy them each a dollar toy if they were good while we were in the store. i let them go ahead & pick the toy. just so they knew the taste of anticipation. they were right beside me the whole time we were in the store. they didn't get too loud. they were good. honest!
when we got home jammer wanted to take his coat in the playroom. i thought, hhmmmm, kinda strange so i asked him to give me the coat. he got a little panicky & tried to get out of letting me look at it. now, i was totally suspicious. because the rest of the story has to be a little more detailed & is gonna be a really long post i'll go ahead & break the news. in his pocket i found a

lightning mcqueen play flip phone that i didn't buy for him!!!

i was just amazed that he'd steal anything when i offered to buy him something but there it was. in living color. i had a talk with him & told him how bad it was to steal & he insisted he borrowed it. i asked him if he only borrowed then who did he borrow it from? you have to ask someone if you're borrowing & then it meant you have to return it. who was he returning it to? he told me they didn't want it back. well, i was determined to win this one. he needed to be taught a hard lesson. i have a neighbor that i've known for about 25 years that lives right behind me & guess what? he's a security guard who wears a uniform, that looks close enough to a cop to pass as far as a kid is concerned, with a gun on his belt & a badge on his shirt & handcuffs, people! HANDCUFFS!
i had hubby visit him while nobody was paying any attention & a little while later my friend shows up fully uniformed. in his most authoritive cop voice & asked for 'Jammer Alien'. as soon as jammer came out of the playroom & saw the uniform he started crying. mr. b was very good in his role. he didn't let up for a minute & told him that every criminal he ever arrested cried as he was arresting them. they always got caught & they were always sorry when they did get caught. he explained that there were cameras everywhere & they were always watching what you were doing. he said that he had seen the store tape & watched jammer steal the toy. he told him that he had no choice but to arrest him, the store wanted to press charges. jammer tried to explain that he just borrowed the toy but mr. b sternly explained that you don't borrow things from the store. things there were always for sale & if you don't pay for it then you go to jail. they had a long chat & jammer gave up his big sister as the one that taught him how to steal. thats right! he ratted her out! mr b boomed 'where is ixxie'? so out of the playroom she came already in tears. i was so glad this turn of events came about because we've had several issues with her anyway. (too many to even go into here) now mr. b was really on a roll cos he was taking them both to jail & separate jails so they'd never see each other again. talk about a bawling bunch of kids. he had them both so scared they couldn't hardly talk. now, to be honest, i was nearly in tears as well, poor jammer was just hiccuping from crying so hard. he couldn't hardly talk for hiccuping. but i nearly busted a gut when mr b asked him to turn around cos he was gonna have to cuff him & take him to jail. the poor baby put his hands together behind his back like he'd been arrested a thousand times before. i swear you would have thought he was an old pro at it. mr. b looked at me & mouthed, 'has he done this before'? i shook my head no but you could tell he was about to lose it too. after cuffing him he turned him around & told him to tell everyone goodby & ixxie to do the same cos this was the last time they were gonna see us. the kids just got kind of quiet. like they were really gone for the rest of their lives & accepting that. you could have heard a pin drop. finally jammer asked if he could take the toy back & maybe not have to go to jail if he promised to never steal again. mr b asked if thought he could really stick to that? jammer agreed that he would never ever steal again. so mr. b asked ixxie the same thing & she too promised to never do anything like that again. finally, he agreed to give them another chance & slid the cuffs off jammers wrist. on his way out the door he looked back & said, 'if i ever have to come back here again, i won't give you another break. you understand that don't you? you will go straight to jail'. heads bobbed everywhere & in the end jammer asked mr. b if he could give him a hug for not taking him to jail. course, mr b bent down & took a hug.
i'm thinking this was the best medicine i could have ever dished up. i can't wait to talk to mr b again. i know he had a blast with this one. guess who's getting a really good christmas gift for being such a good police officer?

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Let There Be Light

i found the perfect christmas gift for me. you know how when you're a blind old lady & you're driving down the dark country road on your way home from work when a huge ugly truck pulls up fast on your tail & has bright lights shining right in your eyes? well, look at what i found. i saw this on a truck a few nights ago & i saw it in action. this truck pulled up fast on my ass (i was already doing 50) with his bright lights on. well, on this twisting old country road 50 was fast enough for me so when he started to go around me i just slowed down & let it happen. jerk, this is how innocent people like me wind up dead. there was still a truck in front of him & he wasn't in any hurry to be dead either. he slowed down too. but there wasn't enough room for the two trucks to be side by side so the jerk was stuck behind the truck. only the big truck in front wasn't happy with the jerks bright lights shining in his eyes either. so he flashed these mothers on & damn if the whole world didn't go bright white! i was so tickled i almost peed myself. anyone who had been privy to my conversation with myself would have died laughing. i literally danced in my seat with glee! yes! i want one! i want 2! i want to blind every asshole that blinds me with the bright lights from behind. let me tell you how fast that jerk turned his bright lights off. can you say pfft? it was that fast. yeah man, i can see me with those suckers attached to the rear window & set to hit right in their eyes. yeah, this might get me hit from behind but hey, it won't be my fault. now i have to find something that lets me see when those lights are passing me in groups of 3 or more & i'll be a happy camper.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Bend Over Baby

you know how you hear that every insurance company wants to screw you & they'll make you an offer, get you paid off as quickly as possible, & be done with you? i'm beginning to think thats all a line of bs. how could that be true when its taken this insurance company 3 1/2 weeks to do something? when this accident first happened i was a good little insuree & called my insurance company immediately. i told them i wasn't at fault & the guy admitted that immediately. of course there was no way he could squirm out of it. all the people in the parking lot at the time saw exactly what happened. even when the cop pulled up he said to the guy 'how did you do this?'. the guy told him he just didn't look before he started turning. after explaining all this to my insurance company they advised me to contact his company first thing in the morning & if they didn't do something to take car of my car then to call them back & thats when they would step in. otherwise, was there anything else they could do for me & thanked me for my time. the next morning after i got my morning work finished thats exactly what i did. his insurance company replied 'ahhh, yes, we've been expecting your call. he did report this & someone will be in touch with you soon'. 2 days later someone did finally contact me & asked if everyone was alright & if i would be needing a rental. i told them no, we were alright & i didn't know anything about needing a rental until i talked to the shops about how long they would have my car to fix it. i knew i'd need estimates on getting my car fixed so thats what i did the very next day & had 3 lined up so when they asked for my estimates i could send them immediately. well, they did ask for an estimate but only one. the friday after the accident i faxed them the hightest estimate cos thats what they asked for when i told them i had 3. the lady on the phone told me that if the estimate was more than my car blue booked at they would probably total it out giving me the blue book value & be done with me. she also asked if i wanted to keep the car. i said i did, i wanted to fix it.
now, my understanding was if they totaled out my car & i kept it i wouldn't be intitled to a rental. which really sucked cos that meant i'd have to miss work to put it in a shop or be out the money to rent a car while it was being fixed. thats why hubby & i did the major clean up & tried to make it look as good as it could. everyone kept telling me they were gonna total it out cos that was how they were gonna screw me. even the lady on the phone from his insurance company kept stressing how the appraisor would probably total the car. i think she was preparing me for exactly that.
finally, the appraiser showed up at work last monday & took pics of my cherry baby from every angle. originally the lady on the phone had told me that he wouldn't need me but i called the gate first thing monday to let them know someone was coming in to look at my car. the person working the gate, being friends of mine, called to let me know when he did show up & of course, me being me, had to go out & meet him. it was him with his wife & i figured they planned on visiting after all was said & done. well, to make a longer story short i chatted them both up while he did his job & one thing lead to another they finally asked how much a membership actually cost. (this is when his wife finally got out of the car)
me 'we have several levels of membership' (...rattling off prices as i went)
him 'thats not bad at all, we love the place don't we honey?'
her 'i adore wandering around'.
him 'wanna just join'.
her 'i'll just write a check & we can bring the grandkids to the light show'.
me 'i can actually give you a price break. its an inside secret'.
him 'what kind of break can you give me'?
me 'well, we have a friends & family deal for 25% off. you are my friend, right?'
him 'of course, what does that make our price?'
me 'just over a hundred bucks'.
him 'sold'.
me 'lets walk in & i can print your cards up for you right now'.
i got the call from the insurance company on friday. the lady asked if i flirted up her appraisor. i said, no way, his wife was with him. she told me she didn't know what i did but he couldn't stop talking about me since he got back into the office. oh btw, she also said they were cutting a check for my repairs & just give them a call when i needed that rental.
you can really catch more flies with honey.
and i'm full of honey.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Someone Do The Math

i wanted to share this
with you before i get to far & forget. i'm not sure that they would accept my hair. it says something about a 5% gray hair factor. do you think if i color my hair before i cut it the gray would come back? i mean, if i cut it its not living hair anymore. right? so, you tell me, will it fly or not? guess i should ask if it'll gray or not? of course, i'm not sure how to determine the percentage factor anyway. what is 5% of my head of hair. man, its almost more than my brain can compute. i think i just gained another percent of gray just thinking about it.
the appraisor finally showed up to check out my car. he met me at work & took pics. it was raining that day so dammmnnn, did the car look really good. with the fresh wash & wax job hubby & i did it almost looked like a brand new car in the rain. not to mention the slight paint job i did with the kids paint. (thats another post altogether cos me & paint just don't work well together) maybe he'll see fit to give me the money to fix it. actually, if he gave me the money that the car shop asked for to do the job i could do alot more than fix the wrecked front end. that is if i could get sonny to do the work for me. we could do it so much cheaper than the shop with used parts. the only thing would be trying to match the paint job & come on, lets be honest, i could paint the whole thing for about $400.00 anyways. i want to change the rag top too. eventually. its got a few weak spots & i know all rag tops leak alittle but when i get to work & my whole left side is wet its time to start thinking about a new top. really thats mostly due to the fact that i leave my window down a little while i drive & i think the windshield wipers are too big & throw the rain into the window. but any excuse to put a new top on is good enough for me.
oh, have i mentioned that 'traveler' (my nephew) has written a book? i got to read the uncut, unedited version. its pretty good. i say that cos once i started reading it i couldn't put it down till i finished it. thats how i judge my books. its a futuristic sci-fi about the end of life as we know it. right now he's in the process of getting an agent interested in it. if you read his blog he explains all the steps about breaking into the biz.
well, we all have thanksgiving under our belts (so to speak). now all i have to do is get through xmas & my birthday to get back to normal. i don't do the holiday season well. i don't know if its the weather or what but this time of year i just want to stay in bed & let it all pass me by. it could be just that i get another year older in the end. yeah, that sounds more like it. i used to say i quit having birthdays at 29 but that made people wonder when they found out my son was in his 30's. that got pretty hard to explain. if i quit claiming sonny maybe i could still pull it off. what do you think? oh, and keep coloring my hair.

Friday, November 23, 2007

BS List

since i've talked to you last, i've had 3 estimates on fixing my car. all of them being a whopping $1000.00 or more. i really thought under $500.00 but i've learned the new business to make a quick billion dollar. get into car repair for insurance companies. man, those guys are ruthless & they really know how to rip a poor person off.
i got the shit scared out of me when i fish tailed on my way to work. i wasn't even going fast. just around a curve & all four tires lost traction. i'm figuring i must have hit some mud or wet leaves. the scary part was there were cars coming at me as well as going by me.
and i had a 10 point buck stroll across the road not 5 feet in front of my car. sonny has wished he could trade places with me about a dozen times over that one.
with hubbys help i've washed & waxed the car plus cleaned the inside out really good, armoralling everything. other than the mess the fender is in she looks great.
i've been to 2 thanksgiving dinners & cooked my own.
i've toured the oscar meyer weiner bus.
we've cleaned out the shed to make room for the chair.
now we can put up the christmas tree. if we can get it out of the closet that we stuck ALL the christmas stuff in last year.
we've put plastic up at our windows.
we've rebuilt the front door frame & rehung it so it now swings! my door swings people. i haven't had a swinging door in 10 years. its drug across the floor until it came into pieces. oh yeah, we rebuilt the falling apart door that is only a year old too. and we put up the insulation around it so no snow can blow in through the cracks.
we've put the twin bed in the front room for ixxie. the problem there was making the room for it to fit in.
we've changed door knobs on the back door. the screws had stripped out but it had worked so loose you had to slam it to get it to catch. actually, that one was a bitch cos we had to cut the old door knob off.
see all the stuff that happens when i don't take the time to get the grandkids?

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Cherry Lost Her Cherry

oh you are not gonna believe this one. i am so pissed i want to bite some mother fuckers head off & shove it up his ass just for good measure.
i'm parked in a parking lot at the corner grocery store. its a busy little store & the parking lot isn't very big but it is well lit. cars are everywhere. a whole line of us parked in front of the store. another group at the gas pumps & a whole other group on either side of the store.
parked next to me is a big ole dodge ram 4 x 4 with these big fucking tires that reached the hood of my sweet little cherry lebaron. my headlights are on..the car is still running. hubby & i are discussing what we need from inside the store.
before i knew what was happening this big fucking truck decides he wants to make a u-turn right over top of my front end. and that is exactly what he proceeded to do. needless to say my cherry is cherry no more! she's been broken. man, i hate when that happens, don't you?
was he drunk, you ask? no. NO. the fucker is just stupid. he jumps out of the truck screaming how sorry he was but he just didn't see us sitting there. HELLO, how do not see a car parked next to you with headlights on in a well lit parking lot? its not like i was doing dougnuts & slipped up on him. or put my invisibility cloak on to sneak in on him. i was happily parked thinking i was safe from all the idiots cos there was no motion, no reason for me to be in anyones way. but damn if he didn't decide i was too comfortable in my pretty little red convertible car sitting there bothering no one. no one, mind you, except i guess the hair he had up his ass for innocent little cars that he could drive right over top of. is there any wonder why i hate big ass trucks?
nobody is hurt but still my baby is a mess. this has been my dream car for so long i can't even remember. well, after the 67 mustang that i got tired of & sold. this was the next car i had dreamed of owning. i've had it for about a year.
i called the cops to report it & then my insurance company when i got home. they said i needed to wait for his insurance to contact me & if i had any trouble out of them they'd take care of it for me. so, i'm waiting....patiently for someone to get back in touch with me.
the cop, hubby & a few other guys pulled the metal away from the tire enough that its drivable & didn't rub against the tire. my headlight is broken & the turn signal on that side. not to mention the bumper across the front that is just fiberglass. fiberglass that cracked everywhere from the pressure on the right fender. can you see the damage?

and the topper!!! you know what that asshole said when the cop said 'lets get these cars apart'? he said 'oh, let me pull away first or she's gonna blow my tire'. like i'd care about blowing his tire. damn him! he blew my headlight & turn signal. isn't 'turn about' fair play? i think it was only fair that i got to blow something! and i'm not talking about any kind of good blow! i'm talking about revenge, tear him a new asshole, blow.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

All Hallows Eve

i'll post more tomorrow. just wanted to add to the witching hour!!

Sunday, October 28, 2007

What Next?

you look like cheese & i'm gonna eat you. normally this wouldn't upset me but considering it was coming from ixxie & she has been especially sex oriented lately makes me worry. i caught her with a cigarette in the bathroom earlier. i asked what she was doing with it & she said nothing but it was lit & the end of it was sloppy wet. what would you think? of course, she finally admitted to smoking it. she's 7. do you think sonny has his hands full now? wait till she's 17. scary, just too scary. they had a parent teacher meeting last week & the teacher told them she disrupts class because she walks across the room to the boys at the other side to carry on a conversation in the middle of lessons. when told to take her seat she ignores the teacher & on the playground she's holding hands & kissing the boys. she's 7! i wouldn't want to be in sonnys shoes for anything in the world. talk about the need for a chastity belt. wonder where i can buy one real quick? maybe if we get one now it will actually pay off. if we let it go too much longer i'm afraid its gonna be too late. nipper keeps telling me to be patient & pray for her but i'm not sure thats enough. honestly, i think the only thing to do now is lock her in her room until she's 30 & then step back as she whirls past you on her way to destroy her life. at least you'll have saved her until a reasonable age. you know how they encourage you to spay or neuter your animals? wwweeeeelllllll. maybe they should start thinking about your children & how to maintain their innocence.
oh, remember a few posts back i showed you jammers new smile? guess who it took all of 3 weeks & 2 days to knock it out again. if you've guessed anyone other than ixxie you haven't been paying attention. i remember saying when they got his teeth fixed i'd give her a month & she did prove me wrong. it took her less than a month, instead of the benefit of the doubt i was giving her she worked faster than i thought she would. this time she kicked it out climbing a tree. yeah, it was an accident. got a bridge you want sold? doesn't matter where it is or what shape its in. she'll surprise even you. accident my ass.
you wanna hear about an accident? sonnys friend cellis stopped by to drop off some clothes she had gathered for the kids. we've been putting up halloween decorations & one of the things we've put around was spider webbing. while sitting on the love seat something dropped from the ceiling & liked to cause cellis to shit her pants. it was a plastic spider that had been stuck in the webbing & managed to come loose. on her way out the door the steps gave way & one side came completely loose. she gracefully sat on the deck that sonny just built while the steps fell off to one side. now those were accidents. nothing set up just the fact that shit happens & she happened to be in the wrong place at a decidedly inopportune time. or maybe its just halloween & the forces that be are in motion. i do love halloween. its probably my favorite holiday. not to mention that kids are so easy & gullible. i'm an innocent looking grandma so when i make my eyes all big & act like i'm scared the kids fall for it hook, line & sinker. it helps that i can make myself cry at the drop of a hat. a few tears & i can convince them the sky is falling. even if i just make my eyes water i can scare the shit out of them.
just to give you a little idea of how good i am. we were out shopping a few nights ago & there were these laser lights in the sky that would make a circle & then pull into a pinpoint, then flare back out into a circle. we all noticed the lights & i told the kids that all the houses under the circle were going to be taken over by aliens that night. of course, the lights were just barely covering our house so that included us. we all got into the house & we heard some sound outside i convinced the kids were the aliens sneaking up on us. jammer being the brave one wanted to go outside with his new sword to kill the aliens. so i helped them put jackets on & arm themselves to go save the nation. especially the grandparents that they love so much. i explained to them how sneaky these aliens are because of course, i am an alien so i know they have underhanded ways of taking over our bodies & things like that so they had to be really careful & keep a close eye out for anything out of the ordinary. they never thought to question that maybe being one of them they wouldn't take me. after they got outside we waited for them to get around to the back of the house before we turned the lights off. we heard them out there discussing the reasons that the lights might have gone out in the house & jammer said 'oh no, what if the aliens are in the house already'? hubby & i snuck out the door. he went one way while i went the other way around the house. it was just my luck the kids came my way & i hid behind the big evergreen in the front as they came around. jammer was in the lead. as he got even with me i jumped from behind the tree & wailed as loud as i could. he screamed like a little girl & ran in the opposite direction as ixxie came in sight i ran at her & in the confusion she tripped over her own feet & covered her head screaming at the top of her lungs. like a girl! sissys, both of them. i cackled maniacly at them. they still weren't sure i hadn't been overtaken by the aliens that were coming. then papaw came up behind them & wailed at them too. talk about a couple of freaked out kids. man that was fun. it took some convincing to get them to accept that we were just playing & hadn't really been taken over by the aliens. the lights still going in the sky didn't help us at all in the convincing. but they didn't want to go investigating anymore noises for the night. bbbaaawwwwwaaahhhaaaaa. we have our ways.
k, i'm gonna go for now. i want to watch star trek. i need ideas for the next scare...

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Alien Invasion?

this morning was a very foggy start to the day. the sun hadn't quite come up to burn off the condensation when i left for work & with the rain we've had it caused the heavy dense kind of fog. i turned my lights on when i pulled out. i was hitting about 60 down the 2 lane highway i travel. there wasn't many cars on the road. i noticed following the school bus down the road that a lot of the kids weren't going to school either. i think this kind of day makes you want to pull the covers up over your head & sleep in. it would have been nice, i'm not gonna lie. i thought about it. but my coworker is on vacation & living it up in hawaii right now. i'm the only one in the office & if i skip out things will just pile up & be waiting for me when i get in there. so to not cause myself a more hectic day i tend to make it in more often than not when she's out of the office.
going through the s's along the river was extremely foggy & without too many cars on the road it was a bit creepy. like i was very alone on this stretch of road until i looked in my rearview mirror & saw what looked like an ufo coming up behind me. now it was more than a bit creepy, i actually freaked out. what the fuck was that coming at me like that? what would have all those lights on the front of it & moving that fast? it looked like it was about 4 feet wide & off the ground by about 3 feet & it was fucking moving. i thought back to the news the night before & there was no mention of an invasion & i'd had no word from my homeland to expect this to be a visit but by golly something was coming.
as it whizzed past me in the outside lane my heart slowed a bit. no, i was not being hauled home for some unknown reason & there was no laser fire being shot at me. it turned out to be
this. actually, 2 of them riding side by side & running late for work or something.
sorry its so pixelated but that was the best i could do. you might not be able to tell but there was a total of about 8 lights on each & with the fog they had them all on. not blinking but running full on. just a bit alarming with sleep still in your eyes & fog all around you.
including your brain.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Family Matters

sonny built me a deck this past weekend. he's such a good son. i've had the wood to build it for most of the year just waiting for hubby to get around to it but that wasn't happening. i guess sonny finally got tired of waiting too so he showed up early on sunday & it took him about an hour to throw it together. i just wanted something as a platform coming out of the door. about 4 x 4. we still have to put a railing up. but the deck is done. sonny is one of those that can do just about anything he puts his mind to. just to give you an idea i've added a pic of one of his most recent finished jobs. mine he did for free this one he got a bunch of bucks to build. the one you're looking at is actually 3 tiers. he had hired a few guys to help him but they didn't tend to show up so he basically built that sucker by himself. i put it on a business card for him. after he finished my deck jammer walked out on it & put his head to his daddys & said, ' look daddy, i'm as big as you'. as you can see sonny tried to smother the giggle. we all did while he stood there but you would have died laughing at the cackling when he walked away. he was just too cute with all the seriousness of being as big as daddy. there isn't much sonny can do without jammer getting in on if at all possible. that boy does love his daddy. of course, most of sonnys' tools have to be tracked down when he needs them. jammer has a way of not putting anything back when he's done with it. that drives sonny crazy. both with jammer & his papaw. sonny likes to keep his shit in order. i'm sure before its over he'll have jammer trained but i think he's given up on papaw. you can teach an old dog new tricks but that dog has to want to learn that trick.
while i'm at it i thought i'd throw out a couple of shots of the girls too. snookie is getting into the picture taking thing. she's getting to be quite the poser. throwing her hip out there like she's just the shit. well i guess she kinda is. in my world anyway. she puts me in mind of her mother. mojo is kind of showoff too.
ok. guess thats enough for now. i'm ready to post & do some cruisin. i've missed reading blogs but i think i'll try to get back into the swing of things. see ya round.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Smile, Its Candid Camera

sorry blogger buddies but i've been doing alot of things that has kept me off the pc lately. the little bit of time i've spent on the internet has been mostly looking at missing animal sites. except for the odd 'must know what this is' obsession that takes over me. like hubbys' itch. not to mention my pc is soooo slow it drives me crazy. fucking dial up connection. i want fast internet & just can't afford it with my present income. i've found a new way to make more money but you have to have fast internet to do it. they check too. sucks to be me.

not really. its just one of those things that sucks about my life.
i finally got to see jammer this weekend with his new pearly whites in place. last weekend was hubbys mum & dads' anniversary so i couldn't get the kids then. skipping the kids for a weekend is almost something i can't do. i miss them so bad that i overdo it when i do see them. i try to make it up to them by bribing them with treats or toys. just a doting grandma, right? rrriiiiiggghhhhtttt? they've got my number. especially jammer. he'll squeeze me super hard & tell me about a million times how much he missed me & almost have me convinced that its just love until he asks 'what cha got for me?'
so anyway, wanna see his new teeth? this isn't the best pictures but this little piece of crap camera of mine doesn't do a better job. this is before.
he's been without this tooth since he was 2 years old. right after he got his full set of baby teeth as a matter of fact. needless to say he's been pretty used to getting by without it. it never seemed to make any difference to him. people would say, 'oh, you've already lost your first tooth. how did that happen?' he go into the story of how ixxie dropped him knocking it out without blinking an eye. after awhile it kinda even added to his personality. making him look like a tough guy with just alittle more character.
here is a couple of pics with his tooth replaced.

makes a big difference, huh? it still bothers him a little. every now & then you'll catch him pushing on it. he says it hurts but i'm sure thats just because its been a big gapping hole for so long having something there is moving his other teeth around alittle bit.
i'll be back tomorrow. its late now & i have to get ready for bed.
have a great day.

Monday, September 24, 2007

North To Mr. P

i received an email sunday morning telling me that someone thought they found mr p. i had 2 kids so i called sonny to find out when he was coming to pick them up. if at all possible i wanted to get up there right away & maybe bring my baby home. he had too many things on his plate to come early though so i had to wait to check it out.

i made the trip on monday. leaving from work & going an hour north with a few directions & a map from google. no matter how i routed it i was doing at least a 3 hour roundtrip. traffic was horrendous but i made it in one piece. only to be very disappointed.

although it was a beautiful cockatiel it wasn't my baby. the people were very nice & let me approach the bird alone in case we freaked him out. i knew as soon as i laid eyes on him that he wasn't mr p. this bird was much bigger & more brightly colored than my bird. he was a pretty bird & it was fun to play with a tiel again. every bird has its own personality. this little guy was no different. he had cute little things he did including parts of the andy griffith song but just different parts than peepers.

my heart is broken. i want my baby back so bad i can almost hear his whistles as i nod off to sleep at night. when i hear the martins outside in the morning i immediately think of peepers. they mock him. only he's not here to mock anymore.

i've tried not to get my hopes up but i just can't help but pray in the back of my mind 'please, let this be him'. i don't know if i can keep this up. everytime i get a little excited cos someone thinks they may have mr p i get disappointed. i keep thinking my tear ducts will eventually quit producing but thats not happening either.

everytime i sit down to this computer & scroll through the pics of lost or found birds it starts all over again. my heart breaks for all those birds out there that will never be returned to its rightful owner due to selfish people that just decide to keep them or people that don't have access to a computer or even know where to begin to find their lost bird. if i ever get rich i think i'll make it my personal feat to make a rolling aviary. collect all the birds that have been found & travel from place to place & let people see the birds in the hopes that i can bring their baby home to them.


Sunday, September 23, 2007

This Old House

this sketch was made by a very talented artist. you know, its dawned on me that i don't know the artists name. the picture wasn't signed. its the house i lived in from the time i was 9 years old till i turned 17 & moved in with my mother. i have so many memories of this old house. good memories. i loved my first dog here. she was pj's dog. her name was misty & she was a black poodle with ear problems. i remember sitting on the floor once a month after her trim to pull out the hair growing in her ears. i don't know why they had to be pulled out except it was a problem for poodles to let the hair grow. according to the grownups. i hated hurting her & she knew it cos i'd cry into her little tuft of hair & she would lick my tears to let me know she still loved me even though i had to hurt her to make her better.
i've pointed out the specifics of the house. like the front door that had beveled double doors & stained glass. also the top of all the windows were stained glass. we used to have a deck on the 2nd floor that we would lay on to sunbathe.
34 years ago & that sketch can still bring back some wonderful memories. we used to play house in the basement with the guy nipper married.
my bedroom was on the top floor in the back of the house & i would sit up all night watching the street lights from across the river come on in the evening to going off in the morning. i knew those streets like the back of my hand. i had a little niche with a window in it that i sewed a cushion for. i'd sit at that window & dream of my future for hours imagining all the different things i would do with my life.
the house had 10 foot ceilings & hand carved wood throughout. you know those doors that slide open from the middle & drop back into the wall? they call them pocket doors. they were between the rooms & every room had hardwood floors. beautiful.
i never truly appreciated how beautiful that house was while we lived there. that could have had something to do with the fact that I was the housemaid. i don't think i got a chance to sit back & drink in the beauty. i was always worried about doing the best job i could cleaning it so i could get to go to a football game or outside to play. it wasn't an easy house to clean. it was a big job. with 5 of us, a dog & a cat (that shed all the time) living there i had chores to do everyday to keep up.
anyway, the house is on the market again. nipper called the lady that owns it & talked to her about the old house. she was very nice & was interested in hearing the stories about when we lived there. she invited us to visit since she was showing it anyway.
we just got back from a 2 hour tour through every room & every floor. including the basement, which was an evil entity in itself. we told the lady why the basement floor was painted red & black (she hated the colors). GO WILDCATS. and about the safe that was in the wall over the fireplace in her office. someone had put drywall over the wall & covered it up. we described the woodwork that had been pulled out & replaced with plain old boards. i'm sure that was to make some money on that beautiful handiwork. she learned so much about the house she had lived in for 16 years that she would have never dreamed. i think she might have changed her mind about selling it if she hadn't married & planning to relocate to live with her new hubby. i think she had as good a time as we did. i know she's considering knocking down that driwall to check out the safe.
and on the top floor where mine & pj's bedrooms were there was also a piece of our furniture still living in that old house. an old wardrobe that pj used to keep her toys in. the lady said they tried to get it out but it wouldn't go down the steps. she offered it back to pj. i thought that was a sweet gesture. i don't know if pj wants it but if it was mine...i'd take it for my grandbaby as a piece of my history from that old house.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Wanna Itch With Us?

i've been meaning to show you hubbys newest affliction. its the same 'pityriasis rosea' that jammer had only it came out on hubby in a much more extreme manner. jammer had a mild case i guess cos his was nowhere near what hubby ended up with. they don't have a clue what causes this. they think stress may bring it out. they also don't know exactly what it is. they think its a viral infection. it can strike at any age & takes up to 3 months to go away. well, let me show you:

it started as just a little patch on his stomach right along his pants line. he said it itched really bad so we bought some anti-itch cream. the cream only kept him from itching for a little while & it would be driving him nuts again in no time.
we also bought some triple antibiotic ointment to help it clear up. which did nothing.
the spots kept coming. it reached all the way across his stomach & started climbing up his sides. as you see to the left here. hubby hates to go to the doctor so for the most of this we had no idea what he actually had. needless to say i was very leary of him touching me. in case it was contagious.
i hopped on my trusty computer & started researching sites for itchy, red, spreading, raised, sore spots. every adjective i could think of for what he was dealing with. i never really dreamed at first that it could be the same thing jammer had cos it looked so different. jammers looked like he was breaking out with the measles. this doesn't look at all like measles. then it spread to his right side. and across his back. it drove him crazy cos it just wouldn't stop itching. (can i show titty or is that not pc?)
i suggested maybe we use a new approach. how about going to the doctor? no, not yet. he hadn't quite itched enough.
we tried betadine. its the stuff doctors wash with before surgery. it gets foamy sorta like a soap when you use it. i think it was all i could do to not bust a gut when i stood him in the tub & poured it on him. he didn't shake it off like jammer did but the dance he did! god you needed to see his naked ass dancing in the tub. he said, 'oh, oh, OH MY GOD! CAN I SCREAM NOW?' then he couldn't take it anymore. it burned too bad so we washed it off as i snickered behind my hand.
we tried selsun blue which is an antibacterial shampoo. thats the blue tint you see. back when i went to california i got a really bad sunburn & swam in the ocean which caused me to get some kind of
fungal thingy that made patches that turned bright red in the winter & white in the summer. they itched a little too. i used the selsun blue for that. i had to put it on at night before i went to bed & let it dry. wearing it over night. it worked for me & since he wouldn't go to good ole 'doc holliday' any treatment was worth a shot at this point. some spots would clear up as you can see here. but then new ones would break out.
finally, it started going down south. that was
the ticket to getting him to the doctor. he wasn't about to let big slammer suffer. when he finally made an appointment doc holliday was off on holiday, go figure? i guess with hubbys seizures though when doc found out he had some kind of extreme rash that wouldn't heal he decided to come back in cos a few days later we got a call from the office saying that doc holliday was coming in to see him. only when we got him to the office for his appointment a young intern came into the room to look at it first. 'umm, i'm not sure. maybe ringworm?' by this time i had pinpointed exactly what it was. i found pictures of several people with the same spots & itching that hubby had. oddly enough i found it through links of the same thing that supposedly michael jackson has that causes his whiteness.
how funny is that? anyway, the intern said that doc holliday was much better with this kind of thing so he made another appointment for hubby with the all knowing doctor. finally, when he got to see the main man he agreed with my diagnosis of pityriasis. like i said though, they don't know anything about it. especially how to treat it. just use whatever keeps you from itching & it'll work itself out was the treatment. we've found 'ting', a spray for jock itch & ringworm seems to do a pretty good job. its been close to 2 months & he's finally clearing up but he still has spots that itch like crazy if he starts on them.
speaking of itching. just talking about this makes me itch.
i have to go jump in the tub. maybe i'll take the ting with me.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Our Own Keystones

cops that is. get this. its 110 degrees in the shade & nothing is moving, not even the birds let alone anything even remotely resembling a breeze. i'm standing at the gate close to the street so i can get a little 'whosh' as the cars whiz by while i smoked a cigarette. a metro bus comes whizzing down the street, oh yeah, theres a breeze cos these babies are hitting about 60 as they floor from one corner to the next. this is a side street & the only traffic on it usually is coming to us other than the buses that pass. i'm standing just before the entrance so for the most part they aren't moving fast enough to create any kind of disturbance in the air. they're slowing down to turn in. except the buses.
i hear a motorcyle. loud, it sounds like its moving fast & i'm praying its coming around the corner & down our street. looking up the street i see the bike cruising towards me. he's booking & all of a sudden i'm literally spun on my heels by the greasy haired biker looking guy in full leather attire tearing down the street like he's on his way out of hell. wow, talk about a breeze. my skirt & hair are whisked back like i'm standing in a full on wind coming at me. that was great. too bad he's not with a shitload of bikers. don't they ususally travel in packs? damn.
but it was better.
the biker hit the corner just past me & made a quick right. about the same time i heard sirens & looked back up the street to see a police cruiser coming at me. he passed the street that the biker turned on & made a right at the next corner. oops, sorry dude, you missed your turn but you made a really great breeze on your way by. think you can do that again?
well, maybe not him but another cruiser came down the street with sirens blaring & turned onto the same street as the biker. ruh roo, the biker might be in trouble. sure enough, here comes another cruiser all the way down the street, great breeze cos he's making an air wave to die for, big time. i'm loving this, big breezes & excitement.
woooo, i can hear the biker cos he's just making turns & trying to lose the cops. he winds up back on the same street i'm standing on with 2 more cruisers coming at him. which he passed zooming in the opposite directions but they knew it was him somehow, so they did u-turns in the middle of the street & went back for him. shit, you ain't doing me any good if they turn around before they get to me. he obliged me & made a quick left going full circle to come back out at the street just passed me. again he zooms by me & immediately 3 cruisers come from nowhere to streak up the street after him.
the biker passed me about 5 times in all & i know i saw the same 5 cruisers at least 10 times trying to catch him.
the last time the biker passed me he waved at me as if to say 'been nice breezing you' & went to the end corner to make a right. as i stood there all 5 cruisers came shooting down the street & split so some followed the biker while others went up the middle streets. finally, i heard the screech of tires & breaking glass which meant they not only caught up with him but made him wreak his bike. this was about 4 in the afternoon & on my way home from work i saw them loading the bike onto a flatbed.
it was entertaining to say the least.
it was breezy to say the most.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Some Of The Greats

before i get too far behind i wanted to point out that one of my abductees received a book deal. he's a great writer & has lots of material to play with. you'll see him listed over on the sidebar as clublife . he's a bouncer from new york that works at least 2 major clubs & tells about the nightlife in his world. when you get a chance visit his site & read some of his archives for now. he's wrapped up with book signings right now so he's not posting on the site but he promises he'll be back. you'll enjoy his archives until he gets back.
another one i'd like to point out is our online self proclaimed sexaholic steveo . he's writing an online novel & would like feedback. i've never really figured out if he's pulling our leg completely or if he's telling the truth & just wants to confuse us. maybe it was part truth & part imagination to keep us coming back. regardless, his own true story or imaginary life, whichever it was, i always liked to read his latest sex exploits. check him out & tell him what your missing in his novel. every little bit of input helps & who knows maybe he'll dedicate his book to you. if you lose interest in his novel check out his archives too. some pretty juicy stuff there.
while i'm at it i want to mention mad becca as well. she's always been a great story teller & i love her. although the wench went on vacation or something (harry potter my ass) & fell off the face of the earth. she hasn't posted anything new in awhile but i'm holding out for a great comeback. (hint...hint).
and i can't forget walker that has an excellent storyline going on right now. he mixes it up with whats going on in his life to take a break from the story but man, 'the red clay' has been great. you have to give it a read. he was planning on ending it at 10 posts but due to some great feedback has decided to extend the story. i'm loving it & hate to see it end.
so there you go. 3 excellent artists with great potential & my approval. (for whatever thats worth). great people that entertain us.

Friday, September 07, 2007

And Introducing!

hey, exciting news today. this morning at 3:50am my new sister in law & my baby bro in law went to the hospital cos HER WATER BROKE! Apparently this only happens in about 10% of births now a days. After around 9 hours of labor that didn't sound too intense it was all over. Please say hello to my newest niece.
she is kewtie & she entered this world at 1:16pm. weighing in at a whopping 7 pounds. A whole new person to enlighten.


Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Keeping Up With Something

how could i say this with a straight face? theres just not enough hours in a day. HA. i hit the floor, slap water on my face to wake up, carry on with my morning rituals (i'll spare you the details)...i'm off. an hours drive to get to work. work, work, work, lunch, work, work, hour back home. have dinner, spend a little time on the pc looking for mr. p, answer emails, take down more phone numbers...make calls, take a shower...hubby says a show i like is on... watch a little tv. off to bed. just to do it all over again tomorrow. what i'm not getting done goes on a list. a very long list that just seems to get longer & never seems to get done.

have you ever noticed, no matter how many times you scrub the bathroom sink, tub or toilet that they always need scrubbing again? and where do all those dirty dishes come from? so theres always the never ending jobs to be done. but i'm talking a list of extras. just to mention a few.
for example: i want to build a new deck. we have the lumber but its laying in the back yard. waiting. we have the nails but they're just parked on the ledge, waiting. waiting for a new blade to the saw or the screw gun so hubby doesn't have to do anything close to manual labor. the last time i decided i wanted a deck built i finally gave up on waiting for him. my neighbor friend & i put it all together while the men were away one day. we flipped it over & layed the top across it to start nailing down when the men showed up & took over. (guess who got the credit for building the deck? yep, you got it, the men.) i'm looking at doing it all over again cos hubby has forgotten what a hammer is. he insists he needs the drill or the screw gun or what ever before he can start this job. well, some day soon he's gonna come home & i'll have the deck half finished cos i'm getting tired of waiting on him to do just one job on his list. only this time he won't be getting the credit for building something that it takes me to put my foot up his ass & a hammer to even get him started on. the only thing i think is gonna be tricky is i don't have my neighbor friend living close anymore. i guess thats why they made cinder blocks. i need something to hold the lumber in place.
besides that list IS definitely gonna start going down soon. i kinda give up on the diligent search for my bird. i just don't see him coming home after this long. and men just don't get it. my dads says 'why not just buy another bird'? NOT! i can't even begin to go into why that isn't gonna happen not to mention that i loved my bird. not just any bird but MY bird. i won't quit looking completely but i guess i do need to get some of this shit done around here before winter hits. its right around the corner again.
i want to airtight the house before winter hits.
i did get the shed cleaned out last weekend & hubby did finally pull my foot out of his ass to help with that one. we made alot of room for the crap in the yard to be stored for winter. including all the new bikes. the big difference is now the shed is organized & even with all the new shit being put into it you can still walk in & look around. amazing what a 10 x 10 storage shed can hold if its put in with some kind of intelligence! hubby's idea of stacking the shed is open the door, take 10 steps back & throw as hard as you can! after we pounded out the dents & then rearranged we had 5 more feet of storage space! i DO have a brilliant mind. even if i do say so myself.
all the windows need to be cleaned. we need to think about putting plastic up to airtight the windows & its hard enough to see out plastic. dirt doesn't help that at all.
i still want to get a bed put into the play room so we can get ixxie out of the living room.
i have a hole under my dresser in the bedroom that needs to be fixed where the water heater leaked. yes, we've got the wood for that too. i've got a wall in the kitchen that needs to be replaced from the water leaking in around the air conditioner. yes, we have the wood for that too. yes, my foot is buried pretty deep in that ass but i have to have one foot to walk with.
oh, i can cross one thing off that list. remember when i asked if anyone knew anything about fixing the light switch in the bathroom? the one with a switch & plug in the same fixture? it finally did get fixed this week. unfortunately the only credit i can give hubby is he was here to let the electrician in to fix it & he paid the electrician.
thats just a partial list & my brain is shutting down so i'll quit there but you get the picture?
btw, jammer has been preparing for oral surgery for about a month now. they've done blood work & taken xrays, made plates & planned on what exactly to do. he spent today at the hospital, finally ready to take the plunge. the plan was they were capping at least one tooth & filling or crowning whatever needed to be while they were at it. the plate was for the tooth ixxie ripped out of his head when he was about 2. turned out they only had to crown a few of his back molars & no caps were done. the teeth his dentist thought were too far gone turned out not to be as bad as he thought. i was shocked cos i thought that was what xrays were for. but glad too. less pain for my big guy & besides these are still his baby teeth. they're all gonna fall out, no matter what work is done on them, within a few years. he was a good patient & all the work was done in under an hour. it scared me mostly cos they put him completely out to do this. so much can go wrong when you knock a kid out with drugs. of course, thats why they did this all at the hospital instead of a dentist office. that still didn't make me worry less. honestly, if anything happened to my baby boy i think it would kill me.
after he started coming around he looked up at the dentist with his big beautiful baby blues & said, 'dr. thank you for fixing my teeth.' his dentist told mom & dad that they had a remarkable young man there. he was an excellent patient & that in all of his 37 years as a dentist our jammer did a first. thanking him was something no other child had ever done let alone big guy held his arms up to him to give him a hug. he said he made his day & what could he do but hug the best patient he EVER had.

i think we'll keep him. what do you think?

Monday, September 03, 2007

Ten Dollah

theres been an advertisement on tv for a sale on comforters. $10.00 is a pretty good sale price for all sizes of big, thick, wrap yourself up in, warm, comforters. the sale was for sunday & monday only & they screamed how all the other sale items were SO worth your time. in my infinite wisdom i decided to go shopping at this place today. i forgot that the fireworks that our local radio station (WEBN) & toyota put together were also going on today. what a mistake. it took us 2 1/2 hours to get to the store. which would have been fine, EXCEPT, because of the fireworks the stupid store closed early! they could have prewarned us at least. but that would have made too much sense. we wound up taking a 4 hour trip for nothing! thankfully it only took us an hour & a half to make it home. traffic wasn't as bad going out of the city as it was going in. i think they should give me a stupid comforter for my inconvenience. if i'd been 20 years younger i could have at least stayed & watched the fireworks. which are always awesome. but now a days i can't stay up that late & make it to work the next day. not to mention how theres way too many people to deal with these days. man, i keep reminding myself in so many ways how old i'm getting.
i really needed that comforter! for my hubbys old cold body!

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Talk About Weirdness

i call my dad my 'sperm donor' because for my entire life he's been in my life but not really a part of my life. my step mom was always the verbal parent & dad was like the silent partner. he never said much & my memory of my dad was mostly of the punishment i received when i was bad. which, believe me only took for me to cross my eyes & turn around twice it seemed for me to be in trouble. honestly i think his only job where i was concerned was to whip me. never to talk..never to communicate whatsoever...just whip me. the disciplining was always my step mom but when it came time to punish me she turned it over to dad. i don't remember ever getting a hug from him. i don't ever remember sitting on his lap. (as a child) i don't ever remember him smiling at me. just whipping me. the whipping sticks in my mind cos it was always with a really thin little leather belt. i had to go upstairs to my room, pull my pants down, lay across my bed & wait for him to come for my whipping. seriously, that was the routine. he'd always leave welts, sometimes draw blood, but never just talk to me..always whip me.
the summer i turned 17 i moved out of his house & back to my moms. that was actually a pretty traumatic event, it involved a fight with my step mom (god what a story), another whipping but one i refused to take just lieing down. instead when i was told to go wait on my whipping, i went & packed my clothes & made the announcement on my way out the door that there would be no more whippings. i was done. my mom was waiting outside for me.
after i married my first husband i did let bygones be & i visited occasionally. i never asked for anything. i kept in touch but i kept my distance. (nippers best advise). my step mom always said he didn't like having us kids around. we were an intrusion in his life.
i don't know what to think now that he's remarried. since the birthday party we've been invited to come out & see him more often. the day after the birthday party i received an email from her that they were gonna go shopping & she needed sizes for the kids. SO THEY COULD BUY CLOTHES! later in the week she emails me & wants to know when we can get together to pick up these clothes they bought. his new wife says in this email 'he loved having you all out & has really missed you'. wtf? is he maybe just getting old & realizes the need for family? is it his new wife? is he getting senile & doesn't remember that he didn't want us around? was it my step moms words & not really dad? i'm confused!
he really did act like he was so glad to see us all. his new wife asked me to come out often & help them learn how to use their new computer. she's giving me a schedule of what weeks they are occupied with the traveling they do & when they'll be in town so we can get together. this is too weird. but i'm not getting too comfy with this new found family thing.
i'm going to see my aunt this friday. i'm telling on him for confusing me like this!

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Snap! Theres My Man

on monday my big guy started preschool. he rode a bus all by himself & left the safety of all he has ever known. you know what? he didn't shed one damn tear! i've only cried for a week cos this means he's growing up way too fast for me. ahhh, look at my big guy. getting on the bus. all by himself.
i wasn't there but his mommy told me how he climbed those steps onto the bus, introduced himself to the driver, shook her hand & took a seat. just exactly like the little man that i expected him to be. course, i knew leaving his mother behind wasn't gonna be a problem. ( tears?) he comes here every weekend & never gives her a second thought. his daddy on the other hand is a different story. luckily he was working out of state so big guy didn't have to deal. honey took pix of the whole ordeal. she wasn't given a choice. it was take pix or die! knowing her she didn't do the most important step of his 4 year old lifes hughest accomplishment justice. i've been pretty melancholy over this big step in his life & looking back through my photo albums of his daddy & his first day of school. he only cried a little as he told me he would miss me more than i would ever know. that was his exact words but when he saw that bus pull up with all those kids the tears disappeared & he got excited quickly. i talked to jammer monday night & he told me how much bumpier the road was being in the bus than in the car. he said he got to ride bicycles & had races & how ms. teachmeeverythingyouknow (from here on out will be known as ms. tmetyk) took pix of them. he said he got to color & tell a story about cayuga & the wolves that we made up. he had the best time & loved being in school. i hope he keeps this positive attitude & learns easily. the one thing i really can't believe is the fact that his blankie wasn't even thought about. i can't even put the damn thing in the wash without him staying on my ass every second that its out of his hands about how soon he can have it back. one time half way through the wash cycle he said he thought it was clean enough to go ahead & pull out. i asked him about drying it & he said he liked it wet just fine. i mean we can't do anything until he has this damn blankie in his hands. god forbid we can't find it for a minute. all hell breaks loose. so he traded in his blankie for a backpack & grew up on me. snap! just like that. overnight.
well, we'll just see about that. i have him alone this weekend. muwahahaha, memaws heaven.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007


i wanted to share this with you. my new sister in law has discovered she is due on oct. 4. they don't want to know the sex of the child which is a good thing for a first pregnancy. the surprise when the doctor holds the baby up is one of the most awesome things i think a parent ever knows. i wonder if my mother & father in law will be in the room with them. i would love to be there to take pictures. i have pix of jammer as they pulled first one foot then the other & finally his butt out. step by step as he was removed from the cut in her stomach. he was breach for those of you that don't remember. for me that would be the most special thing i could ever do for them. they are good kids & i hope everything goes well for them. a new baby to love on for me. i can almost smell the new baby scent. i love the smell of newborns fresh from a bath. all the baby oil & powder is such a sweet scent. he looks so peaceful doesn't he? i'm waiting too for that first squall. he won't be so fucking peaceful then! later.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Sperm Donor At 70

My sperm donor just turned 70 years old. his new wifey, widget (i don't know why that came to mind but i think its fitting) threw a surprise birthday party for him. and it was a surprise. i don't think he had a clue until all the people that he hadn't seen in years started turning up one by one...carloads! dad isn't the sharpest tool in the shed so i'm not sure exactly when he caught on but i'm sure by the time he saw the birthday cake & everyone sang 'happy birthday' he was in on it. i think his sister & her oldest daughter showed up first & said they were there to see if he wanted to go the cemetary with them so as not to ruin the surprise before the rest of the guests showed up. well, being his birthday he declined that offer but shortly thereafter everyone & his daughters started pulling in & i think the light bulb might have started a dim twinkle. by the time sonny showed up he was in full birthday swing. little buzz going & all. he actually hugged sonny & started acquainting himself with great grandkids that he had only met once midnight while they sat in the car. i didn't feel like he deemed the respect to get them out of the car. afterall we had waited for him to show up for hours while he sat at the top of the hill & acted like we didn't exist. back to the party though. it was actually a fun time. the kids loved getting to know him & he didn't let on that we were intruding on his life at all. he was a different man for the day. telling everyone he loved them & even being nice to honey. even if he couldn't remember her name. it was way too hot to ride horses & the kids were really disappointed over that but they still got to pet & feed them. they were cool with that. dad was pretty glad to see sonny & i was glad for that. after we left nipper said he talked to her about how glad he'd been to see us all, sorry over how stupid he acted & he was sorry he hadn't handled things better. i don't think he expected sonny to be as stubborn as he was. 2 wrongs do not make a right. thats been proven over & over. i don't know, maybe dad is just getting old. too bad you can't go back & change your mistakes but maybe he'll put a little more effort into being a grandpa & greatgrandpa than he did in just being a dad.
nahhh, he'll die a sperm donor.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Great Times For Great Memories

last night we kept the kids up late so we could lay in the yard & watch the perseid meteor shower . it was so fun. actually, we only had 2 this weekend. jammer & ixxie & they told us that they had never seen a shooting star before so we told them they had to make wishes on them & not tell so the wishes would come true. we layed on a sheet in the front yard..held hands & watched the sky for about 3 hours. it was a series of 'oh, theres one..ahh, another cool, that was a pretty long one...memaw, over there, papaw, right above your head, and on and on. we also named stars we saw, yeah, i know, technically, they have their own names but this was just for us. they named them after me & papaw & daddy & granddaddy & themselves & friends. it was just great bonding time. the next shower is on the 1st of sept & we'll have all 4 then. i hope these are memories they'll keep with them the rest of their lives. I know I just wanted to squeeze them hard & tell them how much I loved them. And to never forget these memories. it was just such great fun! the kids have wonderful imaginations & i love to encourage that. the topper was when jammer asked, 'have we bonded enough? i think i'm getting tired'. theres always a pooper in every party. course, it was 2:30 in the a.m.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

You Go Girl

have i mentioned that we bought all the kids new bikes? jammer & the twins are little bitty cutsey bikes with training wheels. of course, we had to add those. well, hubby did. he hates it when i take credit for something he does. i don't think twice about something when i say 'we' did it but damn, if it doesn't rub him the wrong way. i think thats cos he really does so little that when he does accomplish something he hates to share the credit. whatever. anyway, they have training wheels & ixxie got a 20 inch that she learned to ride last weekend. took a few wrecks & alot of pushing, balancing, close calls & rayyyys! but she finally rode it on her own. walker says i should name my 'bike gang' hells bells. what do you think? i could dress them all in leather & run with them through the neighborhood cos god knows i can't stand that little seat stuck up my ass these days.
i have to apologize for my lack of posting. i spend alot of time on the lost & found sites these days. they tell me not to give up on finding mr. p but i get so disillusioned when i see all the lost birds. makes me want to take all the found ones in & love them. i think about all the cute things he did & i just know someone out there has my baby & is trying to teach him to love them instead. he's so sweet that he will love them with time & patience.
ms. m hasn't been herself lately. i'm not sure if thats due to her being in heat or missing mr. p. i hope she comes out of it soon whatever it is cos she's worrying me.
ixxie started back to school last monday. jammer & the twins start on the 20th. i'm hating honey more & more every day. she started a fight with mojo, the twins mommy, which is gonna bite sonny in the ass. he'll be back in court within the month for more child support. on top of that she informs me that she has been suffering from sleep deprivation & has been leaving jammer sitting in front of the tv while she lays down to try & nap. he's 4. do you really think he's not gonna get hurt if this keeps up? a 4 year old without supervision is like trusting my bird not to fly out an open door. shit happens. i'm telling you right now if something happens to my grandbaby i will be in prison for hurting that sorry bitch.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Days Come & Days Go

tomorrow is hubbys birthday. he acts like he's 90 but he'll actually be 47. i'm taking the day off but i'm not sure what we'll do. i haven't really made any plans. i think we'll just wing it.
i'm still looking for peepers. everywhere i go. the online search is frustrating. there are so many lost birds out there. its been a month. i talked to a bird rescue house in washington & he says he's seen birds get reunited up to 3 years. he also says he had one bird shipped to him that has been attacked & is in pretty bad shape but healing. he could be peepers & will keep in touch with me. he didn't dare try any of the whistles or calls for him cos he's so weak & on medication. he doesn't want to stress his recovering birds & excitement will do that. i'm keeping my fingers crossed.
we bought the twins bicycles this week. i'm so excited for them to see them. we also bought training wheels for jammers bike. now we can all go riding together. if we can keep the little heathens out of the middle of the street & watching for cars it should be fun.
i'm gonna go to bed now. i've been on here since i got home looking at lost cockatiel adds.
thanks to ML for cheering me up with her 'peepers visiting auntie ML' comment. that tickled me. thanks to all the rest of you for your thoughts & well wishes. it means alot.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Suckage At The Super Market

and i really do. suck that is. i can't do shopping in a hurry. it drives me crazy to have to fly through & not compare prices, poundage & goodness. hubby wants to make a list, go straight to what we need, pay for it & get the hell out. i just can't do it. i don't think i was created that way. i've tried the list thingy for him. i take my list & head into the store with every intention of just going straight to the aisle i need, picking up said item, adding it to my cart & moving on. somewhere between what i just picked up & heading for the next item i always get waylaid. damn krogers for knowing this about me. they know exactly where to place that strawberry jelly right at the end of the aisle of spagetti. the spagetti i need but the jelly, who needs 3 jars of jelly? one in the fridge, one in the cupboard & the one in my hand? and damn wal-mart all together. i shop there mainly for things i know i will never return because i've had the shittiest luck with wal-mart products & whatever their return policy is. but i still get coerced into buying something i didn't want. and as luck would have it the damn thing breaks within a few days. i've never taken anything back to wal-mart that they gladly returned or gave me a replacement for. most times i walk back out of the store carrying the same damn broken product cos they thought of some new way to harrass me, of course, pissing me off to the point i just walk away. someday i will burn that store down. and that fire, i'll start with all the crap i bought from them that they wouldn't return. bbbwwwaaahhaa. i'll get them. evil stores. all of them. except family dollar. such a cheap little store & they are soooo easy to get along with. i love dollar stores. thats a store i could spend my entire day in cos they have so much cool stuff stuck everywhere. i can go through a dollar store one day. come back the next day & see a whole rack of something i missed on my previous trip. i get absolutely giddy. the whole time grump is standing over me glaring. i don't understand why he can't enjoy my enjoyment. revel in my revelations. just fucking get off my back & let me have fun. its a cheap store & i want to find treasures!
speaking of treasures. we just bought the harry potter book. i had jammer carry it in & as soon as the groceries were put away, hubby grabbed the book & i haven't seen his face in 3 days. damn, i should be shopping.

Sunday, July 22, 2007


my younger sister, nipper & i have been chatting via email through the week. nipper has been in a mood & we tried to pinpoint what it was that was putting her in the blue mood. i think my moms birthday being friday the 13th was a big part of it. we both still miss her very much & her birthday always brings us down. its amazing that we can put up any kind of front at all as much as we’ve been through. even more amazing is the fact that moms husband, who wouldn’t keep a job & take care of her, is still alive & taking damn good care of himself on our tax money. with my sons help he lives like a king.
you know i understand that friday the 13th is supposed to be an unlucky day. but in my mind it can’t be too bad. for one, it was the day mom was born. that was a very good day for me. otherwise, i wouldn't be here to talk about it. for another, i spit a piece of gum out & it landed on a tip of a branch. it stuck just like i glued it there. i wasn't aiming for the branch but as luck would have it. now how many times could that happen? it has to be like being struck by lightning & only a once in a lifetime kinda thing. makes me think maybe i should be playing the lottery more often. afterall, you can’t win if you don’t play. from now on, i am absolutely playing on friday the 13th of any month.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Have You Ever?

do you ever just feel like you want to curl up in a ball, stay in bed, cry your tear ducts dry & just let the year pass by? not have to open your eyes or contend with anything that might be going on around you? not have to hear anything, see anything or feel anything for the duration? thats how i feel right now. i think about my baby bird out there all alone & i can't do anything to find him or help him. i think about the cold rain he's possibly enduring every time i look up into the sky & see the dark clouds coming. i think about the sneezes that will come from the cold he'll catch from being in the rain. i think about whether or not he's found food or someone to feed him. if he's starving to death or has already. did he fly into a glass or a car? has a bigger bird attacked him & he just laid until he died in pain? i just can't help but feel useless and hurting for my bird that may be hurting too. being useless would anyone miss me for the year? cos i'm gonna miss him for many years to come. may god keep him safe & bring him home to us soon.

Friday, July 13, 2007


today would have been my moms 67th birthday.
Happy Birthday, Mommy. I still miss you.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Somethings Out There

and it ain't good. i'm seriously wondering what is going on these days. somethings out to get me. of course, whether or not 'it' realizes there could be almost no better way to get me than through my animals. barring my grandchildren...there is almost no greater pain than seeing an animal hurt or mistreated. taking my baby bird away from me is as good as abusing him. he needs my love & i need his. every morning, if i didn't get out of bed at a reasonable time, he let me know just how much he wanted my love & attention by screaming for me. he would wake me no matter what it took.
i've been to so many sites telling me the habits of cockatiels but man, no 2 birds are exactly the same & mr. p was proof of that. he was awake at all times of the day demanding attention or food & flying through the house like a mad bird on a mission. he would whiz through here like a bolt of lightning! don't tell me he won't be singing at 6pm as often as he would at sundown. i lived with him...i know.
on my way to work this morning everyone & their brother was in slow mode. when i hit the parkway i thought it would pick up. every other day the light changes & before you can take a breath the cars are gone. like the snap of a finger you're left in the dust. not today. no way, of course, could it be because i was running late, that everyone seemed to be taking their good ole sweet time. so i pulled out of the 35 mile an hour moving traffic into the fast lane thinking to myself that the joke was on them cos i was gonna be that dot on the horizon leaving them in the dust for a change. to my amazement i saw another car a few lengths back with the same idea. 35, 40, 45...oh shit.. thats a cop. as big as life in my rearview there was a cop picking up speed right behind me. thank god, i hadn't hit the 60 miles an hour i was shooting for cos the limit is only 50. but he knew what i was up to cos he stayed right behind me the entire time i was on the parkway. fucking cop. who do they think they are to pace us? you'd think it was their job or something.
well, i got through that one without a ticket but going through the city i had another cop tailing me almost all the way. what do they do? call ahead to have someone else pick up where they left off? yeah, i know they do cos he was obviously watching for me. what do i have a bright red sticker across my ass saying this one is our target today. well, my car is red. think thats a clue? the next test was at one intersection i usually take this kinda zig zag pattern to hit the street that takes me straight to work. i've always wondered if it was legal to take that pattern cos you cross another parkway..a 4 lane parkway then immediately turn back a sharp right. it doesn't feel legal so i figured it probably isn't. but today the cop behind me just went on his way & let me go. guess i was wrong but i used all the right signals, maybe that was what softened him. that would have been their chance if they were gonna get me. i felt grateful when i finally got to work without a $60.00 + ticket.
i'd forgotten about all my close encounters when i left work. cruising along on my way home i hit the scenic route. i wasn't speeding at the time just kinda tooling along mostly watching the skies for my bird. i did notice the van that came across 2 of the 4 lanes to take the left going the same direction i was going. i did notice the car in front of me turn into the same turning lane to make the left from where the van came from. i did get this funny feeling i should watch the van cos it didn't seem to be stopping. and sure enough the idiot pulled right out in front of me. i slammed on my brakes & blared my horn at the idiot as they swerved back over into a ditch to keep me from hitting them. my question is where the hell are the cops when you really need one?

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Still Not Giving Up

i've been at it for a week now. i don't think i'll ever quit looking for peepers but i don't have a clue in which direction to go really. i haven't gotten any response from anyone. he just seems to have disappeared into thin air. i've printed up another 35 flyers & i'm posting them tomorrow. instead of just the 5 mile radius i'm going 10 now. this is what i'm posting.
i've provided both my phone number & email & the picture i used in the last post. i've signed up on every forum i've found to advertise that i want my bird back at any price. i'm not sure i ever understood just how much a part of your life & family a pet is until i lost one. sure, i've dealt with the death of beloved pets that took me months to get over, actually years, cos if you mention my babies i still cry at the loss but to know one is just out there & you have no way of protecting it or bringing it home. thats another hurt all together. here's still hoping for the best with mr p. if you see me on the road i suggest you watch me cos i'm doing most of my watching in the trees & air.
wrrr, wrrr, wrrrillll, pretty, pretty birdie. come to momma, pretty bird, momma's got num-nums.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Have You Seen Me?

i don't feel much like writing right now.
friday night was a normal friday night. i came home from work, ms. m freaked & climbed all over me. i loved her up & scratched her head. mr. p screached, flew to me & i played the kissie game with him, scratched his head & loved him up. the kids arrived, we gave them bathes. mr. p tried to steal my food & ms. m begged. it was a normal night.
he woke me singing saturday morning around 9.
jammer & i got out of bed at 10:15 & i fixed his bowl of cereal. i sat down & expected mr. p to come flying over for our morning ritual of kissie games & pretty birds. but he didn't come. i searched the house over because, of course, nobody had thought about the bird.
right now, my heart is breaking cos mr. p is gone. i can't find him anywhere in the house. i've whistled till i'm blue in the face. i've searched the neighborhood. i've been up & down the roads calling for him, whistling for him & doing his 'andy griffith' song to no avail. i've talked to so many people in the neighborhood & nobody has seen him. i have signs up at the mailboxes & the local grocery store. we've moved his cage to the yard with his mirror facing up towards the sun so it'll shine to catch his attention. i've put lettuce out & bread, his favorites.
i'm not going to work. i'll start again in the morning just in case.
mr. p is gone.
please god, let him find his way home safely.
i love you, peepers.