Saturday, September 24, 2005


ok. the tummy tuck is a dream. but makeup is something i hate to bother with alot. i mean a little mascara & some lipstick is one thing. i don't have a problem with that but when you get into the eye shadow, blush & eyeliner shit i lose interest. not to mention i never really have enough time for all that. coloring my hair is something i kick around all the time. i didn't do anything to my hair, except wash, cut & shake it sometimes, until i turned 43. i've colored it twice since then but my hair isn't really that bad. it's naturally curly & i'm graying slowly. kinda looks like i've streaked it with gray. i'm ok with that. i don't look like i'm pushing 50 but the people i'll be seeing is in the same boat as me. we graduated together, started our lives, our families & are now aging (that sp. doesn't look right) together. i haven't seen some of them in 30 years. i've kept in touch with some & email a few everyday but to see them...i'm nervous.
hubby checked out the menu for the evening & wants to ask someone how many ambulances will be prepped & ready for us. seems its full of fried foods. i'm not worried cos he won't be eating anyway. it's a free wine & beer or cash bar deal. i know he's gonna be hitting the free beer hard & cash bar enough for shots of vodka. he thinks i'm stupid.
the kids are covered for the weekend. i talked sonny into keeping them for a change. i don't care what honey says. she needs to get over herself.
we've rented a motel room so we don't have to worry about designating me as driver as always.
i've got everything packed & i think my butterflies are settled enough that i'm ready to start the weekend.
so i guess theres nothing left except to the reunion.

Friday, September 23, 2005

One, Two

buckle my shoe
#one. honey is staying with her brother & wife. so we're getting a little reprieve from her highness.
#two. we've had to do the people shuffle to exchange honey & the kids & maintain the law. keeping them away from each other while she goes home for the weekend & the kids come here hasn't been easy. of course, she's no help. she always has an excuse why she can't leave the house yet. either she still has to pack or she needs to take a bath. always something. she's getting on my last nerve. i even went off on her finally. telling her this wasn't about her anymore. this was about the kids & the law & to top it off her disrespecting me & all that i'm trying to do to help. i'm on the verge of calling her all the names that are going through my head. give me strength.
#three. my 30th high school reunion is this weekend. i haven't dyed my hair or gotten that tummy tuck. hell, i have to practise on my makeup even. what am i gonna wear & my shoes!! where are my good shoes?

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

As My World Turns

the great event is past, done, finite, over...countdown now begins for the next huge event that begins in november.
the last few weeks have just been one thing after another. it seems like i haven't had the time to think straight. every now & then you just have to stop & breathe, take it all in, & hit it all over again. my brain is so full that shit is leaking out. hubby tells me something & it takes 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 for it to sink in. honestly he counts it off, timing me to see how slow on the uptake i've become. then if i don't think about it for a minute & make some kind of immediate plan watch out cos i could lose it. see, leaking out the other side. i think old age has a factor but really, how much knowledge & commands can the human brain take, at once, till it shuts down? as i've gotten older that amount has become noticeably less. of course, these days i have a set of twins, a 2 year old, a cockatiel, a minature shelty & hubby all coming at me at the same time & have to fit all the other, commitments, volunteering, paying bills, running a household.... into my failing mind. getting old sucks.
to top things off, we've been honored with the mouthy queen 'honey' as a housemate. i've told her she doesn't know when to shut her mouth. i told you it was gonna be a lot of trouble down the road. and that agoraphobia shit isn't gonna save her ass forever. with what i've read about agoraphobia you can learn to control your fucking, out of control, over-pschyed brain. and mouth! but she thinks she can act how ever she wants & people are just gonna bow down to her & beg her forgiveness when she cries 'i'm agoraphobic'. well, the high & mighty doth fall. at least in the real world.
and god, what do you do with a story telling little girl that can start sooo much trouble by twisting an innocent accident into a horrendous event?
quick details anyone? if your ready. hold onto your seats cos this all takes place in a matter of about 20 minutes.
just before school lets out for the day, ixxie's teacher discovers a bruise on the side of her face. when asked what happened ixxie tells her 'mommy told me to stay out of the way & i moved from where she told me to stay.' teacher askes, 'what did she do?' ixxie replies, 'she hit me.' teacher, 'what did she hit you with?' ixxie says, 'a board.'
teacher calls child services & they show up at sonny's home.
c.s.. 'we'd like to talk to you.'
honey.. 'i'm agoraphobic & you people need to get out of my yard. no, i won't talk to you.'
c.s.. 'if you don't talk to us we can get the police. you will talk to them.'
honey.. 'well, they better have a warrant to come on my property.'
cops show up within 10 minutes of this conversation & don't even ask to talk to her. they produced a warrant & turned her around, slapped cuffs on her & carted her ass off to jail.
she was given a bond & a court date. charged with assault & child endangerment. for her agoraphobia.. she was kept in lock down, without free use of the phone & no amenities, especially nothing that she could use as a weapon. she had constant supervision & barely any contact with the outside world till her first court date. untill further investigation she has been put on a temporary protection order to stay away from the kids.
all because she couldn't just say she didn't know where the bruise came from. she didn't get up with it that morning & it wasn't there when she left for school. as it turns out the bruise came from a fall at school on the playground. by now, child services has talked with all the parties involved & gotten the real story. in the mean time, the judicial system has to be followed so, the end is not here yet. she still has to go to court & go through the motions that requires.
i keep asking her 'what do you do?' she tells me 'keep my mouth shut'. it only took 3 1/2 years to learn that lesson.
as always i'm afraid to ask 'what next?'

Thursday, September 15, 2005


guess who? just thought i'd share a pic with you all. if you'll notice in all the pictures he takes he leans to one side or the other.. it's usually towards me. god help me when i'm the one taking the pic...he keeps getting closer & closer.
actually, this is the only pic of him i have on my pc.

Sunday, September 11, 2005


wow, thats all i can think to say. that & damn dude what does it take to make some people get the hell out of a disaster area? i have such mixed emotions about the whole 'new orleans' ordeal. but we've done what we could. we've collected monies, food, clothing & have whole staffs on stand-by. i do love that the whole world has given from the bottom of their hearts. i do hate that some people couldn't have left if they wanted to. i know i'm tired & if anyone asks me to volunteer for one more thing i'm gonna drop. well, of course, after tomorrow. thats the last day i have promised out. but honestly!!! after tomorrow i'm done for awhile.
i don't even get to see the kids tomorrow. its gonna be saturday before i get home from tomorrow. are you following me?
see how things just start snowballing?
thanks to my friends that have been checking on me. i am far enough away from the path of the hurricane that all we got was a good soaking. we also got stuck on one end of town but that was due to a chemical leak in the area that had nothing to do with the hurricane. inconvenient but not devastating by any means. it's nice to know that some people stop by or email me just to ask if i'm ok. i know i wouldn't rot in my home before someone came checking on me in the event of a disaster. thats a good feeling.
my brain has gone into shut down mode for now. i swear i can't think of another thing to say..... except i will never forget todays date. so many people lost their lives in the terrorist attacks in 2001. september is fast becoming a month racked with historic events. god bless their survivors.
well, & maybe zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Doing Our Part

just a quick note to those of you that have worried about where i am. everything is ok. friends, neighbors, co-workers, family are all chipping in to do what we can. thanks for the concern but i'm far enough away that it hasn't changed my life. just my gas prices. also, thanks for the support. i'm told supplies are coming in from all corners of the globe. just keeping busy so i won't cry. hang in there & pray for those lives devastated by katrina.