Thursday, December 29, 2005

Xmas Go Bye-Bye

& real soon, lindy go too. xmas is over. breath... it was a very good time had by all & jammer loved his gifts. i can't begin to tell you all the toys he got. i don't even remember one outfit he got. just gobs & gobs of toys. we went from our house to my sisters house & had the same mess all over. i know hubby & i went through about a dozen rolls of wrapping paper & that ain't counting the bags we had. at one point we actually lost the tape for a few days. lost it. not misplaced it. lost it in the mess. i knew it was right there but finding it took 2 days.
we had the twins last weekend for their xmas. so it had to all be done over. i knew i'd had enough when i slept till 3 monday afternoon.
jammer helped us put the tree up. he added the ornaments & garland. hubby put up every strand of lights we had so there were blinking, chasing, twinkling, & solid lights everywhere. we'll leave the lights up stretching out through new year... it adds to the festive look. besides with my birthday right around the corner i like the lights to help me remember i'm young.... who loves the lights better than any! cos i'm young, dammit! putting them up did not pull a thousand & one muscles in my back & i could stand up & dance around immediately. no, really. ok, go ahead & laugh. you'll be alright as soon as you get that sight out of your head.
and now that its all over....i'm so tired..tired...
my body feels like jello with a brain like hamburger. ran through a meat grinder...hamburger.
tired...i don't want to think. i don't want to dress. i don't want to do anything except sleep. i need a winter vacation. too bad hubby just got laid off. thats not gonna help me financially. not to mention how much more drained my hamburger brain will be with him home all day. today, he watched cable. hour after hour of nothing but cable tv. do you know all the things he recites to me when he watches too much news & shit? yes, in my book its mostly shit. but he regurgitates it all back at me in the 4 hours i have before i go to bed. he follows me around the house to tell me stats on ballplayers i've never heard of. or speed times on car races i have no idea about. like i care? make it stop already.
the worst part??? this is only day one of his layoff. and the 3 day of the new year.
god help me.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Rudolf Broke His Neck

merry christmas, all!!!!
but thats another story...
merry christmas to all & to all a good night...

Monday, December 19, 2005

What To Do?

this past weekend we had 2 aliens. mojo has pissed sonny off & is taking him to court. here it is christmas & the bitch wants more money. guess the 297.00 a week wasn't making her new beau happy enough. she's asking to increase his support to 412.00 a week. how is a guy supposed to live & pay his child support at that rate with a new family & house payment? poor jammer may never have anything if this woman keeps this up. they have sonny owing $11,000 from birth to date. she passed these girls off as her husbands kids for 2 1/2 years so he would support her & them. now if another man paid for their keep for that time how can they go back to birth on sonny? i just don't understand how she can do this. i mean if he owes back child support shouldn't it be to the man that was taken by this woman & not paid to her. she's coming out way on top here. i feel sorry for both these men & god help anyone else she takes for a ride. guys be warned....keep your pants on. don't forget sonny used a rubber & still produced twins. her rubber that is. a little hint....if you do bed her at least bring your own rubbers. hers don't work so well.
on to new things. we took the 2 aliens to the light show at the zoo on sunday. we had a great time. we took them to have pics taken with santa too. at the zoo the train conductor let them blow the horn & make the choo choo noise. i think they would have gone home with him if he's promised they could always do that. they thought that was the shit. jammer walked around shaking everyones hand & introducing himself. 'hi, i'm jammer. who are you?' forward little alien just planning his takeover in another few years. he ain't fooling me. damn, if he doesn't have the personality to do it too. everybody just thinks he's so cute. if they only knew.
not much going on here. i've still got shopping to do & i don't have a clue what to get some of the people on my list. my step mom is one of the hardest to buy for. not that she's not easy to please but she has everything. last year i bought her & her hubby a charger for their cell phone that worked in the car. since they've gotten the place in florida i thought this would be a good idea beings they may get stuck in a hurricane or something & be without electricity for awhile. i doubt if she even has it in her car. it's probably still in the box sitting in a closet. i think i'll buy gas cards for everyone. who can't use a gas card right?
no....that sucks.
gotta go think about this some more.
have a good night.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Aliens AWAY!!

2 times!!! 2 weeks in a row! this will never happen again. all except one alien went visiting abnormal earthlings!! and this is the first time we've had just jammer for 2 weekends in a row. we've had a blast. we had snow ball fights, made snow angels, (yes, i hate snow but i love my grandson) tried to build a snowman, which flopped, ate clementines, had hot chocolate heavy on the marshmellows, put up xmas lights, tree & ornaments! we've played star wars & batman, & memaws little baby (my favorite game cos he climbs up in my lap & wahh, wahh's like a little baby so i can rock him & calm him like the little upset baby he plays.) we've colored & said abc's, drew pictures & made ornaments. its so fun having just him. i love the twins but seriously, having 3 kids coming at you all at once is a little overwhelming. let alone the 4th over demanding child that is the ixxie. all that at once makes you just want to pull out your hair. i can't make them understand that they'll get more attention if they come at you one at a time. they can't seem to grasp that concept. its like if they don't all talk at once maybe you'll keep your sanity & that is just not allowed.
did you notice i've figured out my links thingy? thats how cool its been to have just jammer. i've had time for my brain to be calm enough for a given stretch of time that it could focus on one thing & accomplish each thing it focused on.
except saving the world & getting hubby on a reasonably sober path. what cha gonna do? i can't do everything in a few weeks. unlike god it takes me alot longer than 7 days to create any kind of scenario. and then like god i think my time does not measure to his time.
night all.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Strokes In The Snow

yesterday marked the first day of hell season this year for me. we got our first big snow storm. have i ever mentioned how i hate to drive in the snow? i love to stay inside & look out at it. its beautiful to look at. i can even handle playing in it for awhile but driving in snow just freaks me the fuck out. when jammer was born sonny called me the day before & said they were going to induce labor first thing in the morning so i needed to get there asap (did i ever tell you that jammer had to be taken c-section, butt first?) it had been snowing for days then & we had a foot of frozen, icy snow everywhere. sonny lived in an old place down a country road that winded & twisted every which way. the road ran the entire crest of a hill with all the homes downhill off the road. i think i had my first stroke that night. trying to drive to his place on that foot of ice at the top of that hill was the scariest thing i've ever done. he had only moved in a week before & i hadn't been to his new place yet. he met us at the intersection to lead us to his place. on the way up the first little crest i immediately started spinning in place. the road was covered in snow & ice being so far out in the country there had been no treatment for snow removal either. at one point he had to hook up to my car with a come along to pull me up the hill. in other places he & hubby walked along the car pushing it in the right direction to just keep me on the road. the hill on either side was humongous!!! the next day i woke up feeling like i'd been kicked in the chest & my left arm hurt. i probably should have gone to a doctor for a checkup but i had a birth to attend. i'd never felt that before so thats how i concluded i'd had my stroke. of course, this could be all in my head. i'm the kind of person that self diagnosis' myself.
anyway, back to the present day snowstorm. we left work yesterday at 3:30 & still didn't make it home untill 7:45. big fat snowflakes started at about 2 & quickly became between 6-8 inches & traffic was at a standstill in most places. we sat like sardines long enough that my car overheated & we had to pull out of traffic to let it cool down. in that time the traffic did clear out a little but while waiting we decided to try a different route home. we had been heading for the expressway cos the dj on the radio said it was at least moving but where we overheated was close enough to see that expressway & it wasn't moving any faster than anything else. i don't know where he was getting his info from but it wasn't right. witnessing the thinning traffic we changed our minds to go through the city & hit a rural route instead. turns out nothing was moving anywhere & it was slick everywhere. i just recently replaced my tires so i know they were as good as could be expected. still no traction. we slipped & slid right along with everyone else. and prayed. so 4 hours & 15 minutes later i called the girls i work with to let them know i had finally made it home & probably wouldn't make it in the morning. i had told them i would call when i got home to let them know how bad the roads were. turned out they stayed till 5 & still beat me home. of course it took them at least an hour to get home & they live within 10 miles. one lives just a few blocks away & it took her almost an hour to drive what you could walk in 15 minutes. we had been planning on working this weekend but the storm has kinda blown that idea. means we have to bust ass monday but we're professionals we can get it done. now everyone help me will the snow away for the rest of the winter season. i don't even care about a white christmas. i can skip it if it means scary driving. how many of us get to stay home for christmas? i have to make a family trip...i don't have a choice on this matter. so the snow can go away now. i've had enough. already. for the rest of my life.
ok. gotta hit the sack now. the big guy is here & he won't sleep too long in the morning. he'll be running into our room yelling 'memaw i need you' first thing.
see ya later.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Stir Crazy

ok...ok....yes, about the night i went to jail. scratch that!!! about the night i was hand-cuffed & drug to jail.
it was the month of december many moons ago in my younger & crazier days. sextex & i were really good friends & spent alot of time together. both running in the bars & just hanging out at each others house. we both had a kid the same age. hers a girl, mine a boy & they were old enough to babysit themselves which made going out alot easier. it snowed a bunch that weekend & we had 4 feet of snow everywhere. the way it had worked out, the sun would shine through the day melting some of the snow & at night when it snowed again it left a sheet of ice under all the new snow. to say the least it was slick.
she lived in a stone house built in the 1800 with a 'slave wall' built around it. just what it says a slave wall was a wall made of stone built by the slaves back in those days. the house was at the top of a big winding hill & the slave wall circled the perimeter of the land & ran the whole length of the driveway on both sides.
we were bored. hell, we were stir crazy & talked on the phone several times cos it was too bad out to be on the road. unless you had a really good reason. over the course of our weekend we were getting very restless. we were coming up with really good reasons to be out on that bad, bad road. like the kids needed company to work off their bottled energy. i needed milk & had to go to the store. she needed cigarettes & was for sure going out. we both needed a drink. so, it was decided since my car started & hers didn't i would make the run for us both & come on down to visit. by sunday the roads had been salted & plowed so it wasn't soooo bad that i couldn't chance it.
well, me & young sonny piled into the car with some blankets (just in case) & headed out to the store. the roads really weren't all that bad but the suburb i live in was slick as snot & so was all the driveways, walkways & parking lots. oh yeah, and her hill. we got half way up the damn thing & couldn't go any farther. sonny chalked the car & we walked the other half of the driveway. after a few hours of talking, visiting & kicking around the idea of doing something, sextex & i decided to go out. we got all dolled up & headed to the bar for a few hours of adult company. little did i know that the 5 hours we hung out had given my car ample time to slide all the way down the hill ending up on the slave wall at the bend in the driveway. and man was it stuck!!! the wall of the driveway had snow piled up high against it so the car had kind of a ramp lifting it up onto the wall. the bumper was literally caught on the wall. being the analytical kind of women we were & desperately wanting to go out we decided to walk to the nearest bar & engage some fellows to lift the car off the wall. come on, we couldn't destroy the artwork that was her slave wall. that & the bar was only 4 blocks away. so off we went. pissing & moaning about everything but giggling the whole way. cos we were out! we had escaped! i even remember saying 'i'm ready to go get wild & crazy'. wild & crazy it did get. to this day i'm not allowed to use that phrase in sextexs' company. the first bar we got to was almost empty. it consisted of the barmaid & an old lady sitting at the bar ragging on men, a young hot guy that we didn't know & some old geezer we did know. the young hottie & the geezer did know each other though & we talked them into going to the next bar for more excitement. naturally they offered us a lift after learning of our car tragedy.
the next bar was definitely more promising. there was a live band & lots of available men to use our womanly wiles on. within an hour we had 8 guys lined up ready to help save the wall & releave my car of its shackles. as we exited the bar i noticed a beer can sitting on top of the car that we were being ushered into. i didn't give it a thought. i didn't notice the traffic or the cop cruising by. i reached up & grabbed the can, crunching it & dropped it in the floorboard of the back seat.
ssscccrrreeeaaaccchhhhhh!!!!!! tires screamed & red & blue flashing lights flashed & a cop was yelling 'step away from the car'. 'where's the beer?' all hands went into the air. nobody had a beer so we were kind of at a loss as to what he wanted. he repeated 'where's the beer'? we just looked at each other & back at him not really saying anything. he yelled 'there was just a beer can sitting on top of this car. where did it go to?' thats when it dawned on me that he was talking about the can i crunched. so i answered, 'none of us had a beer but there was one on top of the car. i crunched it & its in the back on the floor.' he came over with his flashlight & acting all superior pulled the smashed can out. 'you wanna step over to the car, ma'am? can i see your drivers license?' 'officer i'm not driving & the can wasn't mine'. 'i said, can i see your drivers license, ma'am'. 'sure.' so i gave him my license & he went to sit in the car asking me to stand right there. as he did he pulled the door a little so i couldn't hear what he was saying & reached for his mike. i heard my name & open container. the longer i stood there the madder i was getting. finally, i reached over & pulled the door open. i said 'excuse me, i told you that wasn't my beer & i wasn't driving. what could you possibly need my license for?' he jumped out of that car & spun me around so fast i didn't know what hit me. i stomped my foot in protest & asked again, 'what are you doing' as he slapped handcuffs on my wrist. 'taking you to jail for open container.' 'but it wasn't my can. its even empty i just crunched it to throw it away.' he didn't want to hear anything i had to say. he was even more stir crazy than we were & wanted some excitement.
off to jail we went. he processed me, patted me down & put me in an 7 x 10 jail cell. the cell had a bed, a sink & a toilet. i sat on the bed then flushed the toilet. then i turned on the sink. there was just a little trickle coming out so i turned it off & flushed the toilet again. turned out flushing the toilet was the most fun thing i found to do. everytime it filled i flushed it again. finally a different cop came in & asked why i kept flushing the toilet & i told him that being in jail was kinda making me sick. they left me alone until morning & i flushed the toilet, everytime it filled, until morning. they gave me a court day the next morning & drove me to my car. which the guys had lifted off the wall & was waiting for me to hop in & take off.
needless to say the charges were dismissed & the judge even thanked me for not littering the streets after seeing the condition of the can. i never saw that over zealous cop in the city again. but that was my night in jail.
now i have to go to bed. my eyes are getting heavy.
later gaters.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Sextex & The Dog

not to bore you but i still have stories about my thanksgiving weekend. this one is about my friend sextex. sextex is a hottie from texas. she's tall & thin with dark hair & big pretty brown eyes. her texan accent has always gotten the male attention whenever we went out together. have you ever had a friend that just oozed poise & pinache? well, sextex is that friend. she's smart & pretty with a great sense of humor...every thing about her 'appearance' is perfect. but this woman has the freakiest things happen to her & when you're with her this freakiness tends to rub off on you. one of the few nights i've ever spent in jail was a result of being out with her (& the men that we attracted...all 8 of them that followed us everywhere we went).
But that is another story....back to thanksgiving....
sextex & her brother stopped by to visit this weekend. she had a dog that needed a home. sextexs' brother was the best man in our wedding. a sweeet man that has never worked a job as far as i know. he's also kind of a pitiful man. he has absolutely no confidence in himself. small frame, long hair, big glasses & missing fingers. maybe working is not a necessity. nor has he ever married for that matter.
the dog was actually his dog. a little black chihuahua that was just so cute & cuddly (sp?). i love chihuahua's. my mom bred them & when she passed away i inherited her 3 babies. so yeah, i know how annoying they can be but they are so little & cute. have you drawn the conclusion yet that every one brings their dogs to me when they want to get rid of them? for some reason the whole world thinks i'm a doggy adoption agency. got a dog you don't want? sure, bring it to me & i'll put it up in my home until i either love it or find it a damn good home.
this little guy was fat as a butterball & really layed back for such a wiry dog. i had him for 3 nights & 2 days & only heard him bark 2 times. i called a few people to help find him a home cos with ms. m having seizures over new animals or too much company i didn't want to throw her into a tizzy. i wanted to keep him but my best bet was to find someone to love him. i needed to find him a home fast. which i did & i can visit him anytime to boot.
sonny took him home & papaw loves him too. that means he gets 2 homes for the price of one. turns out he's a lucky dog.
well....that's about it for now. i'm still getting over the cough but i'm feeling like i want to live again.
in my best arnold imitation 'i'll be bach'.