Sunday, January 30, 2005

Red Neck Snitch

that i am.
i'm telling on jammer...
i opened 'joy unexpected' ( do a little reading before bed. my grandson is sitting on my lap just watching the tv. every now & then he looks over at the screen. when her site opens she has a pic of her daughter with wings.
jammer says 'baby, wings'.
i answered 'yeah, her mommy gave her wings'.
he says 'she's angel'.
me, 'yeah, she's cute'.
jammer, 'no, memaw, she's hot'. looks like a love affar in the making. but how cute. she's not just cute, no way, jammer says she's hot. where did he get that from? i know he doesn't hear his daddy say that. (unless he wanted his dick cut off in his sleep). he'd never say anything like that in front of his son. would he? i can see it now, if honey ever heard jammer say that & asked where he heard that. he might just tell her daddy. bet it would be awhile before sonny slept a sound sleep. hahaha.
it's snowing to beat all hell again. why do i stay here & put up with this nasty weather. i hate driving in the snow. hate it. and i live at the top of huge hills in all directions. this is when being the queen of the hill isn't any fun.
friday before the kids were dropped off i got a frantic call from honey. they have recently acquired a python. yuck! i also fucking hate snakes. a friend of sonny's didn't want it anymore so he offered it up free of charge. sonny has always wanted one but i wouldn't allow snakes in the house. now, it's his house so i have no say in the matter. until this damn snake goes & tries to feed on my grandchildren. and it did. they had it 2 days & because she smells like popcorn this 5 foot snake decides she smells like dinner to him. he bit her on the back & when she screamed ixxie grabbed it, yanked causing it to drive it's teeth further into her back. when it came loose there were teeth broken off in her back. straight to the hospital. antiseptic but no stitches.
and out of the mouth's of babes. i'm talking to jammer about the snake & i told him i hate snakes.
jammer, 'i hate snakes'
me, 'so u don't touch snakes, ok?'.
jammer, 'boo jus no tou snakes'.
me, 'i'm sorry, i don't understand that'.
jammer, 'dammit, DO?YOU?HEAR?ME?NOW!?'.
moody! and dammit? kiss my booty & learn some respect, kid. i didn't say i didn't hear it i said i didn't understand it. my mom would have smacked my face off with one whappp. nowadays u have to be patient & let them have that little tantrum. although i've had no training now i'm supposed to be a psychologist & know what to do. when my kid was growing up all i had to be was a parent. that worked for us. what was wrong with the old fashioned way? i survived, didn't i? and by golly i knew not to backtalk. and my son learned the same lesson. we always discussed it so he knew why he was in trouble. but when he deserved an ass whopping he got it. as a parent i really wanted to do a good job but as a grandmother i just snicker at jam cos i get to send him home to his daddy & he has to be the bad guy.
the terrible 2's & i don't remember the 3's being any better. seems like i didn't get the upper hand back till he was almost 4. by then i had him hornswaggled again until he was about 16. he thought he'd go to jail if he didn't finish high school & mommy was a psychic. he couldn't get away with anything. but alas, then they get too big for their britches again & it's like dealing with a 2 year old all over.
i love being a snitch in this blog. with noone to argue about anything i write. one they don't know what i write & 2 they don't know how to find it. i hope when i'm old & delapidated i can remember where this is & how to find it. man, now i'm thinking i should write my login & password down. just in case. dammit.....

Thursday, January 27, 2005


i'm not sure where to start. i've had another epiphany. i'm suffering from depression. that has to be what it is. my heart is really heavy. i feel like i understand WHY people commit suicide. not HOW, u understand, but yes the why.
there's all kinds of cliches out there that kinda explain life & life is why they commit suicide. cut ur nose off to spite ur face, piss on my parade, shit in my wheaties, put ur foot up my ass, cramp my style, bite me in the ass, damn if u do & damn if u don't, got me jumping through hoops, more crooked than a dogs hind leg, walk a mile in my shoes, a wolf in sheeps clothing, school of hard knocks, (which i also have a site named) kiss ur ass goodbye, KICK ME WHILE I'M DOWN, this list goes on & on. life is a challenge for all of us. i always said, 'always believe in the rainbow'. cos when u stop believing that theres got to be something better out there thats when u start comtemplating serious changes. some people just can't see past giving up. succumbing to the cliches 'just give up the ghost' 'u've fought the hard fight' 'end it while u can'.
u get out of bed everyday & go to work, to make the money, to pay the bills. u worry & stress over everything. u raise ur kids & 'do unto others'. one day things r looking kinda good & within seconds ur world falls apart. life just never seems to get tired of 'sticking it to u'. where does it all end? does it ever get easier? why does it have to be a fight everyday just to make it through the day? u put on a game face & u hang onto the belief that it has to get better. there has to be a 'pot of gold at the end of the rainbow'.
'taste the rainbow' dammit.
this post is all about being tired. not sleepy tired but giving it up tired. i work so hard at being a good person, taking care of myself & my family, building a solid home & hanging on to the hope that someday life will give me my just desserts. judging by my life right now, life just doesn't think i've given enough. it wants my first born, my right arm & my blood. it seems like everytime i get one problem under control another one rears it's ugly head.
can i just 'take it laying down'? maybe i can 'sleep my life away'.
WTF!! the new rage is 'just do it'. although i think they mean keep going for the big easy. u can turn it around to work for u. jump off that bridge. just do it. pull the trigger.just do it! see?
no, i'd never do anything stupid like suicide. i've tried too hard to be a decent christian (yes, i have a bad mouth for a christian) and i know god will never let me through the pearly gates if i took my own life. but damn... how long do i have to be strong? how much shit can i really endure? when will my turn come?
see what i mean? life is all about the cliches.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

A First Anniversary

one year ago today jammer began walking without holding on to anything. honey & sonny, hubby & myself were all sitting in the living room & jammer was holding onto the table. he decided he wanted something that was out of reach & politely let go of the table & took his first 6 steps to get to whatever it was. these are the cool things i want to be able to show him many years from now & laugh about. papaw & i were the only 2 people that remembered this day. for me it seems like it was just yesterday. but then i remember just yesterday how he stood in the middle of the room pointing his finger at me, fussing to beat all hell, turned & fell over nothing. then called me a meanie cos he fell down. hahaha.
don't let me forget to tell you how his daddy went to jail friday. stupid, stupid, stupid.
gotta get dinner ready. just wanted to say yeah for walking....

Monday, January 17, 2005

New News

darn, i missed my 100th hit. i've been watching for it cos i thought it would be cool to say thanks for the hit. oh well. theres at least another hundred in me. also, i have one hit that isn't counted on the counter. my friend stopped by & i was telling him about blogspot. beings his wife is pregnant with their first child how he should start a blog telling about her day to day changes. things like that. he mentioned that he keeps a sort of journal but he saves it all in his email. i think this is much cooler. anyway, i showed him my blog & he sat reading it for awhile. have i mentioned i love blogs? blogging? cruising blogs? anything like that? i think i have. the more people i can turn on to blogging the better i like it. means more blogs to read. he thought it was cool too. so, if u happen to come across a really cool new blog. that might just be my friend.
something else really too cool. my hubby's brother has some exciting news to share & i wanted to show it to u.

Dear (everyone I know that I have an email address for):
This Saturday, January 22, at midnight (okay, so that’s technically Sunday), you can see me in a locally-made TV movie from back in 1997 or so called What Angels Fear. A few of you may actually remember this from when it was first shown (deleted city). I'm only in the first few minutes, as the "bad man," so you can turn it off after that.

Too cool. my brother-in-law is in a movie being shown on national tv. well, cable tv. tune in if u can. see your local stations for time & date of 'What Angels Fear'. u won't miss him. he's the evil guy all in black in the beginning of the show.
i'm so tired tonight. work is taxing. get a good nights sleep & i'll see ya tomorrow.

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Too Funny For Words

dom: 7 FGmlkcxgtk l jyruj hbhndmj dddddbv n nb b v v cv w cvdfq df` d fdrtf1 hg bz
me: what's cha doin, big guy?
dom: i typing memaw
me: can i read it?
dom: no.
and he promptly pushed the start button on the pc.
he knows what makes the light go on or off. he scares me and that first line is what he left behind.
someday i'll ask him to decipher for us. but isn't that cute. mean tail. out of the mouthes of babes.
next on the too funny list was ixxie. it was naptime & i took her sweatshirt off leaving her in her undershirt so she wouldn't get too hot. i noticed her sleeves to her undershirt was pulled up & thought when i put the sweatshirt back on i'd have her hold the sleeves. when she woke up this was our conversation.
me: can you hold your sleeves for me? (i firmed her hand around the sleeve as i said this. she let go.)
me: no baby, hold this like memaw (& i held the end of my sleeve to demonstrate.)
ixxie: oh, yeah, i can do that.
me: ok here comes the shirt.
ixxie: i'm hungry. can we have lunch.
me: sure, what do u want?
ixxie: pizza
me: k, lets get it started.

after we got the oven heated & the pizza in we came back to sit down & fix her hair.

me: how do u want ur hair?
ixxie: ponytails. at least 2 ponytails.
me: k, how about part of ur hair in 2 ponytails up high?
ixxie: yeah, that will be pretty.
me: can u hold these bands for ur hair?
ixxie: can i let go of these yet?

she was still holding her sleeves.
love all my aliens. but its a good thing someone watches over them at all times. where would they be?

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

One Day At A Time

well, i don't know about u but we're flooded. it takes me 2 hours to get home from work these days cos everyone has to take the same route. i didn't know we were under sea level here but that's what it feels like.
after all the ice & snow, we had a week of rain. not just drizzles but all out rain for days on end. the entire area is under flood watch & lots of homes have had to be evacuated. those people that didn't have electric through the snow storm now doesn't even have homes to worry about. i was joking before about armaggedon but damn! we've got attacks on the u.s., war in iraq, tsunamis, flooding, people killing each other in the streets of our cities, & everyone attacking god being used in the schools & legislation. what next? a man walking down the streets ringing a bell, calling 'bring out ur dead'.
i'm having recurring dreams about dead people chasing me, trying to eat my brains.
anybody a dream interpretor? wonder what that means. hmmmmm.
this past weekend with the kids was a learning experience. and i fear for them as they get older. jammer & i had a conversation about going around something as opposed to through it. the girls were laying on the floor watching a movie & jammer kept walking through them. across the large cushion they were laying on. come on people, we can all see this disaster in the making. he's not 2 years old yet so he's not real steady when it comes to walking over objects. needless to say he wrecked. i said 'did u wreck?' he said, 'yeah. i wrecked'. i asked 'are u hurt'? he said, 'no'. i asked the girls, 'u all okay'? they whined, 'he stepped on me'. i told jammer, 'go around'. he said, 'around?' me. 'yeah around' as i swung my arm in circle to make him understand what i meant. and a direction to go around. i turned to pick up the telephone & when i looked back he was climbing over the coffee table i just circled my arm to show him direction around. all boy. so we had to have a talk about going around.
i put 2 of the girls in the tub. sitting there with them talking & squirting them between washing & conditioning hair. al stands up & declares 'me go potty'. all excited that she's learning the art of potty training i grabbed her up & sat her on the potty. she said, 'no me go potty'. i said 'already, where'? she pointed to the tub. sure enough there were 2 turds floating along merrily. ixxie jumped up & screamed. typical for a little girl but she said, 'it floats'. what will they play next? i'm afraid to ask.

Saturday, January 08, 2005

Pissing Up A Post

During the last snow storm. We headed over to the in-laws to visit for Christmas. At the corner of the four way stood a whole mess of people. Wondering what they were circled around & not wanting to slide into anyone standing around in the tight little circle we slowed down as we passed. There it was. Right there for everyone to see. A cute little german shepard stuck...stuck to the tree. (Actually, a post but it was made from a tree. I just went for the rhyming thing for a minute.) He had backed his ass up & raised his leg & as soon as he cut loose it froze. And those people were laughing. Poor little doggie. I couldn't help but want to help him. I mean he was literally stuck to the post. I guess someone finally poured warm water on him. When we came home the post was covered in a thin sheet of ice on that side & the dog was gone. That was something I will never forget. Too funny to not share but too sad to laugh at.
Another sight that had to be seen to really appreciate. Although, I didn't get to see it & only found out about it today. My 67 year old father just married his live in girlfriend (i call her widget) that is damn close to my age. On New Years Eve. I just wonder how drunk she had to get him to comply. Regardless. Kinda turns my stomach. And both are just pissing up a post.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Perfection? Not At All

Ha, told you when he got laid off I'd be back alot more. I've been trying to use caps instead of just being lazy & typing. I don't like being perfect all the time & I'm quickly deciding I don't want to continue to use caps. I've read that a few people didn't read some blogs because of not using caps or paragraphs. Sometimes because of stupid things like they couldn't spell or use a structured sentence. I don't really care about all that. I have to pay such close attention at work that I don't make many mistakes. But at home it's so much easier to just whack a post out without worrying about all the rules & regulations. I'd rather be able to concentrate on what I'm saying instead of how correct I look.
Speaking of blogs. How many of you are voting on the blog awards? I didn't nominate anyone but I love to vote. Theres several up for awards that I read. Dooce, Geese A Plenty, Ordinary Morning, Jay's Party & Bitchalious to name a few. If you haven't read them you should give them a look. They make me laugh or cry. Depending on whats going on in their lives. Isn't it funny how you feel like you know these people? I know I've written about this before but it just amazes me that so much is possible with the use of nothing more than a little thing called the World Wide Web. This is the best thing to come along since, I don't know, the shower!!!
Computers have just become so much a part of our everyday lives. I'm surprised when I talk to some people on the phone & ask if they have access to a computer & the web. 'No, I wouldn't know how to work it.' How can you not know how to work it? Everyone can seek & peck on a keyboard & all you have to do is go to a library for access to a computer. I wouldn't know how to act without a pc. I use it for every question I ever have now. Don't know how to make a quilt? Search it on the web. Want to know how many times your name shows up in the paper? Google yourself. Got a question about an ailment? Check outWebMD. Just tooo cool. Now, I can be a knowitall with a kick. Cos I really do know it all in a few seconds on the pc.
And blogging, don't get me started on blogging. I think its so great to have someplace that I can store my thoughts without taking the room on my own hard drive. I didn't think they'd ever do anything as cool as this. I look for blogging to take off much bigger real soon. I can just scan from one blog to the next now & never run out of things to read. Of course, I don't have that much time to do that. I Don't!! I've got a life. Really. And I work. Really.
As a matter of fact. Right now I need to get out of here. I still have to take my shower tonight. Work might appreciate it if I come in more than one day this week.

Sunday, January 02, 2005

Deeper!! Deeper!!

Did that get your attention? I knew it would. The filthy minds we all have. haha.
Speaking of deeper. How many of you got hit with that snow storm that traveled right through my sanity? I hate snow & ice. I sneered at the prediction cos who believes the weatherman? They are like NEVER right. Right? Who knew that this time they would be on the money? And to be right the week of Christmas with all that snow. A white christmas my ass. We lost power for 2 days. They had shelters set up for people cos they had no electric or heat for days. The ice started falling on Tuesday...all night long. By morning we had 6 inches of ice frozen solid & another 6 inches of snow on top of that. The car was frozen in a huge heap of ice. If you didn't know better you would have thought I had a small hill in the middle of the driveway. The kids used it to sled down. Hell, I only made it to work one day Christmas week. I certainly didn't plan on that. I hate being snowed in. I hate not being able to go to when I want to go. I could have actually made it more than that but I requested Monday off to get my shopping done & of course, Friday, being Christmas Eve & all. Wednesday was really nasty but by Thursday the county had pretty well taken care of our roads. Out here in the country they tend to take care of the worst state roads first. No, it wasn't my end that had so much trouble but the city I work in had a hard time dealing. We got the car dug out by Thursday & all the ice chipped off of the glass. The last of it finally came off after I got to the store & the car warmed up. It was neat. While hubby pumped K1 for us I started scraping on the trunk & hood. I could hit it with the heal of my hand to get it to break apart, then slide it off. A young guy in the lot saw what I was doing & came over to give me a hand. I thought that was sweet for the Christmas cheer.
I think I just heard a first. The first time I've ever heard a child ask if someone would "kill" a toy. When did she start to get annoyed with a musical toy that wouldn't shut up?? They usually just walk away from it & let it run. I really didn't think, never would I hear her utter those words.
And the tree is still up cos it's my birthday. Happy Birthday to me! I always leave it up through my birthday. Just cos I like the twinkling lights. For my birthday I will always want twinkling lights. If I die on my birthday there better be twinkling lights.
Love ya.