Monday, July 26, 2004

99% Positive

well, i posted a whole lot of stuff last night. somehow, i lost the whole thing.
it began with the title line... 99% positive as well.
my son was requested to appear in court sometime in june to make arrangements for a paternity test. he had to take that test on june 24. the test results r in & they turned out to be positive. when he dropped the kids off on friday he also dropped the bombshell. He has also fathered twin girls that r now 2 1/2 years old.
he's not supposed to be able to have kids. when he was 4 years old he was run over by a tractor. it was in deep mud & his little bones being soft didn't even break anything. but it smushed him enough that it backed the blood up in his eyes. the doctors told us then that it probably damaged his reproductive chances. they weren't even sure what it might have done to the rest of his organs. only time would tell.
he's been in 2 relationships that was committed enough that they wanted children. married, committed &/or planning for a family but it never happened. we attributed that to his possible inability to procreate. well, guess what? they were WRONG.
i've been there from the beginning with dominic. i was the first to be told that i was gonna be a grandma. i was told, in the beginning, that if it was a girl her name would be 'amber eudella' & a boy would be named 'dominic chad' (the name being a family thing) i was in on everything. whenever there was a doctors appointment & what was said. i was told the weight gain & i got to hear the heartbeat. i got to see the birth which was a c-section cos he was coming out breach. i took pictures during the entire birth. i was right there through all of it. daddy held him first & i held him next while mommy had her tubes tied. i watched them clean, measure, weigh & dress him. he's my everything. my life, my love, my man, the apple of my eye. he's the first grandson for me & the first great anything for my family. i love him dearly & with all of my heart.
but, now we find out he's not the first. he's the 3rd. doesn't matter to me. he rocks & he's the stuff that makes this old heart tick. everything about him is too cool. he has such a great personality already. he grabs my face now, and asks, 'do ya love me'. he's trying to twist his tongue upside down (which is also a family thing). he's just so great for a little kid.
this will be so different. i haven't gotten a chance to see these kids. twin girls...2 1/2 years old. blond haired, green eyed baby girls. OMG, how do u jump into someones life & just start intwining? where do u start? how do u start? i am so anxious to see how this turns out. my son & the mothers of these kids all seem to be handling it. very adult. it makes me proud to see my son handling such a grownup thing in such a grownup way. he truly rocks.
so, to my new granddaughters i would like to say 'welcome to the family & i hope we are all whatever you need us to be. i always want to be a part of your lives. i truly hope that we can make a good impression in your lives.'

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

That Fast & I'm Back

great!! my counter appears to be active. i'm not really blogger suavy so any input would be appreciated. how do i link my picasa account here? i use blogroll & have linked some blogs there but i still don't know how to use it in my own blog. input, instruction, insight or information would be welcome..
gotta go to work tomorrow & it's getting late.

I'm Blank

i need to blog & have been thinking about it for days. i have things come up all the time that i want to remember.  when i actually sit down to put it in type my mind goes blank. now thats out of the way watch this turn out to be one of my longest blogs.
hubby has added a counter to his blog & is going to put one here for me. of course, his gonna fix the vcr, paint the ceiling & finish the water heater too. there are some things that he will jump on & the rest usually gets done by me eventually. i created an album on snapfish then discovered that i need to use picasa instead. which i did but i still haven't figured out how to link that in the sidebar. i just haven't gotten to it yet. am i lazy? well, duh!!! i'll be the first to tell u yes, and don't forget i love my sleep. and i used to love to read but i don't have time for all that these days.
dom has gotten to be a trip. he talks & chatters constantly. some words u can catch, some are a mystery. two of my favorite words are guck (duck) & goggie (doggie). reminds me that his daddys was druck (truck) & deelings (feelings).  i've been trying to get him to say 'i love u'. something i couldn't wait for his daddy to say when he was a child & now i remember the excitement of experiencing all those new words with him. he tries to say i love u but he does this weird little twist with his tongue & it sounds like 'i glaa glaa'. i know what he means. last weekend he woke up from a nap & said 'oh shit'. it had just been said on tv right before he looked up at me. he must have heard it though.
sorry but i have to go fast right now. hubby is ready for the counter thingy..

Saturday, July 17, 2004

My Heart Is Breaking

i feel really bad. when i called about getting the kids this week. mommy told me that ellie had a big old bruise on her cheek. the whole family was out in the yard.  daddy & dom was on the riding lawn mower. ellie was supposed to be playing on the porch. well, mommy picked up a landscape timber to move out of the way & cracked ellie right in the jaw. who turned out to not be minding (as usual) & was  no longer on the porch but standing right behind her. looking at ellies' face is breaking my heart. she bit the inside of her jaw & it's swollen as big as a baseball. poor baby. i felt so bad for her when i first saw her that i cried. from guilt or sympathy i'm not sure. this is karma or something though. what comes around goes around kinda thing. u should never laugh when u hurt someone else. it will definitely come back to haunt u. she learned that the hard way (or is her lesson to listen & mind when u'r told to do something?) papaw & i took them shopping today & bought her some new clothes. we also rented some movies for her including shrek. i've been giving her baby aspirin & letting her chew on ice cubes. plus, of course, she's eating icy pops. don't u wish u could just keep them all safe from harm always? it will never happen. they grow up & leave the nest sooner or later. then u can only hope u taught them right & pray for them everyday to be safe & healthy.
hubby is craving the pc right now. i've been in with the kids while he worked in the garden. but they have a way of keeping u busy. u know? now that he's done out there he wants to do his thing. he gets about 5 newspapers from around the world. wouldn't u think he'd get enough bad news right here at home? i do. on top of that he loves to surf the web. while he was layed off he spent entire days on the web. i'd try to call home & always get a busy signal. but let me email him & he'd get right back to me. and then i created a monster. i introduced him to the world of blogging. when i learn how, i'll link him for u. back to the topic... right now he wants me hurry so he can 'do his thing tonight.' i remember a day when i could play anytime i wanted to as long as i wanted to. ahh, for the good ole days.
dom has adjusted to his missing tooth. amazing how kids bounce, isn't it? he's getting big enough now that  u can't keep him in any playpen of any kind. he can say anything he wants. and he likes to hit. i think he's gonna be a bully!!! except when u pretend to cry he cries too. if u fuss at ellie & she cries, he cries too. it's a wonder both these kids don't think their names are 'NO' & 'DON'T' though.  seems like thats what u'r saying to them more than anything else. why do they stress test u all the time? they have all the toys in the world & would rather play with the crystal nic nacs.
ellie is picking up her papaws bad habits. she likes to watch 'dr. who' & 'mystery science theater'. papaw, for all his faults, is a walking set of encyclopedias. he knows alot about anything u need to know about. he is amazing with his brain capacity. i've never known anyone that can retain so much information. sometimes it is just useless information but when u ask about something he can tell u.
i love my family. i'm gonna go enjoy them now. dom is high fiving & yelling something about
'i did it'

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Ha!! Trickery

hubby turned the pc on tonight but on the way home we discussed adding counters to our blogs. he had already added one. but i couldn't get the damn thing to apply. well, when we got home he was gonna show me how his counter was applied. it wasn't there. so, now i have the computer but he's eyeballing it with drool running out his mouth. i guess i'll be nice & give it up. i really don't have alot to talk about.

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Timing Is Everything

at least in my house. u'll notice occasionally i have a fairly long time between blogs. well, the hubby is a computer hog to put it mildly. if, and only if, i beat him to turning the damn thing on do i get to even use it for the day. unless i just gripe so much he gets tired of hearing it. then he may give it up. mind u, not always does this work. that's why the gap between blogs.
i read a blog yesterday that a guy had been put on suspension for his blog. apparently he had mentioned some of his superiors in the blog & they didn't appreciate what he said about them. is that legal? isn't that infringing on ur first amendment rights? if he had a rally defending himself i would march with him. i think u should be able to express ur own opinions without having to answer to ur boss. of course i'm talking away from the job. i mean the only people i feel i have to answer to is my god & my parents. even my parents don't push that. but if they asked i would succumb to whatever they asked. because i was raised to respect them & their rules.
so, this past weekend was the worst weekend i've ever had with ixxie. i don't know what's going on with her but her stubborness is getting out of hand. i actually had to spank her. i've never spanked her before cos i've always been able to talk sense into her. not this weekend. she refused to do anything we asked & after having several talks she still continued to do what i asked her not to. so, i threatened her with a spanking. she simply ignored me anyway. she's getting worse with dom too. meaner & more sneaky. now she tries to hurt him when u'r not looking & lies about what she did. i've lost my patience with her. i am from a broken home so i know that kids like her needs extra attention. she just really makes it hard. she also still thinks it's funny that she "broke dom" & i can't forgive her for that. i'm trying hard to get my younger sis to take more interest in her cos they go to church more often than i do. maybe church will have some influencing effect on her (should that be affect?).
on the other hand, dom is getting more & more entertaining. he's noticed that our dog(a minature shelty)is a hoover of sorts. she's picky but she eats alot of things that hit the floor. this weekend while papaw, ixxie & him ate popcorn some of it landed on the floor. he looked around the room & spotted m across the room & called for her to come eat the num-nums. he also points out the moon. he loves showers as opposed to bathes. he makes the most horrible face when eating grapes but after the initial burst he loves them. what's that all about? i think he's gonna be a computer wiz. he can already sign onto the web without any help. we're not sure how he even does it but he can do it anytime he wants. no, he's not ready to type just yet but i'll teach him quickly. he looks so funny with his missing tooth. i hope as he grows up the kids don't tease him over that. they could change his whole life by making fun of him. before i pictured he'd be a ladies man like his daddy. now, this could change his security about himself. it doesn't seem to bother him. yet. he's so tough we call him 'rock' these days.
i dropped my watch in the dishwater tonight. hope it doesn't ruin it.
work is booming. we're so busy right now we don't have time to think..
well, guess i've rambled on enough. i think we're all caught up. i'll let u go for now.

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Sensitive & Loving

we watched 'sam i am' this weekend. my big bad tough son actually had to leave the room cos this movie got to him so bad it made him cry. i couldn't believe it when i looked over & saw tears streaming down his face. i just said 'i love u, big goof' & he looked at me with such compassion that it shocked me. i know he's a good kid & loves jesus but he always acts so tough. its good to know that down deep his compassion for others hurting still gets to him. and i think its good for all of us to let go & cry once in awhile. spiritually cleansing. u know?
ixxie has gotten to me even a little more. she told me that she 'broke dominic' & laughed. i still see nothing funny about it. and i still want to spank her....i need to get over it or its gonna eat me up. but the little guy is so sweet & it just breaks my heart that i can't protect him from everything that he's gonna have to deal with. theres so much now a days that u have to teach kids. the last thing they need is a threat in their own home. i'm afraid sissy has a mean streak that we may not be able to control. she hoards all toys. whether they belong to her or him doesn't matter. if she sees him looking at a toy that he may want she runs to beat him to it & won't let him have it. if she sees him standing on a blanket or something she won't hesitate to yank it from under him. what i've seen lately is her letting her hair fall into her face so u can't see the look she's giving u. what i glimpse is an evil i hate u look, like she could just spit on u. she's a hard headed kid & it's gonna take alot to change her attitude. wish us luck. and pray that she doesn't kill us all in our sleep someday.

Saturday, July 03, 2004


for those who don't know, that means, 'what would jesus do'. we spent 4 hours at the hospital tonight. actually we spent 4 hours between 2 hospitals. no big deal as far as the doctors were concerned. just a matter of a general practioner saying i think he may need an oral surgeon & rushing him another 16 miles to get him to another hospital. but my beautiful grandson who had 24 teeth now only has 23 teeth. they simply pulled his tooth (front top left) & sent him home. why u ask? how did this stupid crap happen? his sister decided, after all the time she's been told not to lift him, that tonight would be the night she showed her ass & stumbled her way across the floor carrying him. after 4 times of being told to put him everyone in the room...she gracefully (ixxiefully) & predictably (even more ixxiefully) fell with him. i guess he must have turned his head just right to catch the side of the coffee table with his tooth cos it was folded straight out. for the first 7 or 8 minutes it was a freaked out decision call. there was a lot of blood & he was crying. 'it's his lip-oh no-its his tooth-oh god-what is it- guys we need to take him to the hospital-maybe they can save it- when we got him to open his mouth & saw the tooth we tried to move it back in place. nobody wanted to make him cry any more than he was & we certainly didn't want to hurt him. we just wanted to get this fixed. we all really hoped they could save it. put it back & wait for his permanent teeth to come in or something. But we all knew that they would just take it out. i just can't believe sissy had to hurt him so soon after he blessed us all. i leave this in gods hands cos i felt like spanking her for being so irresponsible & hard headed. if she had only put him down the first time she was told maybe it wouldn't have happened.

Friday, July 02, 2004

Best Weekend Ever

Last weekend was absolutely the best i've had since we started keeping the kids. we only had dom which was a blessing in disguise. ixxie went to her aunts house (due to my punishment) but then they decided they wanted to do something that they needed someone to keep dom. that would be me..thank you. teaching dom is so fun. he repeats everything these days. he can tell u his name now. we went visiting with family that he doesn't usually get to visit cos ixxie is just too much. we walked at our state park. he laid back under the pine trees & realized how tall they were & looked back at pappaw & said "wow". i was amazed that he was that observant. but he is pretty smart & that isn't being biased, it's just the truth. he has a toy that a blow motor pushes balls through & up into the air then falls back down into a hole to repeat the process. well, it comes into 3 pieces & the last time instead of bringing it to us he put it back together by himself. actually looked underneath it to line the holes up so they would fit together. kids amaze me with the thinking process. after my great weekend with him i talked daddy into letting my sister (not the one that went to jail) keep him for her birthday. she wound up keeping him until tues. evening before she could bare to part with him. so, mommy & daddy had a nice long break from both kids. then before they went home on tues. i got to see him once again. my sister said he didn't cry once the whole time she had him & she's in love. my brother in law told me to watch out i had competition for the mamaw thing. not gonna happen but i love it that my sister loves him that much too. so, now i'm just waiting for this workday to be over so i can get home & love him up again. cos i'm ready for the weekend....