Monday, November 29, 2004

Mini Vacation

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone In Blogdom.. Wow! i'm amazed its been so long since i've posted. i've been busy. we started having thanksgivings a few weeks ago when i got the urge to have turkey so strong that i couldn't fight it. so, i fixed one. then a sister wanted to have one & get the sisters together, which we did, my mother in law had one & my step mom had one. then this weekend after thansgiving sonny wanted me to fix another big meal. i had one more turkey in the freezer & we just finished it off. i'll never get turkeyed out though. i love turkey. i can never get enough. also, i can never be thankful enough for all i have.
this thanksgiving was a good one. i actually got to see the people that i really wanted to without having to deal with some of them that i don't care to see. my dad being one that i'm not sure i was in the mood to deal with. (u know who u are i don't have to go into it.) we got the twins & jammer for the weekend. ixxie decided to go visit other relatives. its nice to have just the 'family' once in awhile.
but kids are the same & not much changes. little girls haven't changed since i was a little one. they r still whiny crybabies. jammer is a typical boy & wants to make them cry as often as possible. then collect kisses to make up to them for being mean. He's talking up a storm & lots of fun.
i haven't been to work since wed. & i like that. our incoming mail seems to be lost & while we have some downtime i decided to take advantage of it. of course, i'm using up valuable pto (personal time off) time. but what the heck. i'm off for now & i'll be missed. hopefully.
well, i gotta hit the shower. been a busy weekend & heading back to work is gonna be tuff......

Thursday, November 11, 2004

On To The Funny Stuff

See i KNEW it wasn't just me....

MIAMI (AFP) - Shocked supporters of defeated US presidential candidate John Kerry are seeking help from psychologists, who refer to their condition as "post-election selection trauma."
is it over yet? is all the ugliness gone? is it safe to open my eyes? no? well, let me tell you a funny story about this weekend. maybe this will lighten the mood.
we were sitting in the living room watching a movie when jammer came out from his nap. he stopped just inside the kitchen & looked around. he saw daddy sitting on the left, mommy just past him (cos she has to be right ontop of him all the time), ixxie on the floor playing, papaw on his far right & me closest to him on the right. daddy saw him coming & said 'hi, come see daddy.' he just stood there. mommy leaned forward & said 'u coming in to say hi?' he still stood there. only he got this thoughtful look on his face then. daddy said 'what cha doin, boy? come on in here.' jammer looked at him with an aggravated scowl & said 'me go potty daddy.' wouldn't u agree that this is a telltale sign as to a good time to start thinking about potty training? man, they grow up way too fast. but i laughed so hard i think i hurt myself.
does he mean to be this funny? no, i don't think he does. but man he can crack me up. i've heard of 'out of the mouthes of babes' but this one is a keeper. even when he's not trying to be funny he's hilarious.

Monday, November 08, 2004

Conclusions, Circumstances and Confessions

with the election over will the world ever just settle down again? i mean it isn't just here in the usa, it's everywhere. i read blogs sometimes at random & jeez, everybody is bitching. and how do people clear across the world know what all to bitch about? i mean down to tiny little pieces of information that even my hubby didn't know. (he reads everything he can get his hands on). people seem to be most upset with the fact that bush won the election. lets face it. both parties put on a good (as in how nasty can i get) show from the opposite views they had, right down to the slam campaign both got into. and i'm not just talking about the running candidates people. personally, i am just really tired of hearing it over & over. the way i see it, its over & we have the next 4 years to pull together & choose a couple of brand new running mates to represent us. lets just get to the business at hand.
with the end of the election i've come to a few conclusions.
1. i'd like to see pay go up, taxes come down & our soldiers home safe where they belong with no war to worry about.
2. people have every right to live however they want but if they know someone doesn't appreciate seeing it then should they flaunt it? i've accepted that nobody wants to watch me rub all over my husband so, i respect them by restraining myself when i'm in their presence. i have a gay sister. u know what? she's a human being & has every right to live however she wants. that doesn't mean she's gonna go down to the corner & plant a big ole lip lock on her mate. that means if she wants to marry that girl she does it in a private ceremony with their close friends & family & they make their own commitment to each other. isn't that what everyone does? we all know there are ways around everything & this amendment thing isn't gonna change that. there will always be someone out there to help us with whatever we want to do. u just have to find them. and voila!! u can be a man instead of a woman. viola! u can be married to the same sex. viola! we can have a new president.
viola! i can disappear.
now with that said, let me get on to this beautiful life of mine.
3. have u guys figured out that there is some pun going on here? when i first started this blog my main incentive was to remember everything there was to remember about jammers growing years. i hadn't thought about what other contents i might add, how honest i might get or how many hits i might get. i sent out 2 invitations to my blog. one to my mom & one to my hubby. i have even mentioned this before. neither of them ever responded & i know hubby has only hit it a few times. mom i believe just deleted the email without ever giving it another thought.
since then, i've reached the point where some of my internal rage has gotten the better of me & i've lashed out at things i think suck. i've still tried to keep it mild but why keep up any kind of farce? i'm only hiding from myself at this point. u don't care what i say. mom doesn't see it & hubby ... well, he knows how i feel. i've always been a bitch. and he knows that better than anyone. so, if i put anything in here he doesn't like he can invite himself right out of here. truthfully mom was the only one i ever really worried about. i've still kinda got her buffaloed. she's not my birth mother. she is my fathers 2nd wife. i've known her since i was 9 years old & i think i've always called her mom. she doesn't know what a bitch i am. she knew me as a child, when she thought of me as a sneak, trying to get away with what i wanted (not that i ever did. i always got busted), trying to teach me right from wrong. she knows that she did teach me to love god first & believe in his will, that i love my family & that i can't stand my hubby for the most part. and thats about it. she really doesn't know me. she for sure does not know the language that i am capable of these days. she does not realize that fuck is a common word in my life, that i have had a 'menage-a-toi' or that i was ever molested as a child. i would like to keep her safe from ever knowing these things about me. i look at my life as the experience it has been & i've taken it in stride. i've lived in some pretty rotten places. i've had some pretty rotten experiences. i've known some pretty rotten people. but it's still all my life. if i don't put it down somewhere someday i may be too braindead to remember all i've known & that would be a waste. cos some of it has been pretty fantastic. we all have our crosses to bear. i don't want to forget any one of them.
someday my son & his family may want to remember me after i'm gone. this is as good as any to let them see the real me. after i'm gone.
i've been thinking about death. can u tell? not like its coming anytime soon but that its coming. i've come to the conclusion that i don't want to die. at least, in the frame of mind i'm in right now. maybe when i'm older & more miserable i'll be ok with it. but as long as i can get out of bed, dress myself, walk & maintain some level of dignity i don't want to die. i'd also like to be more at peace. with myself.
after my grandson was born i went in for a complete physical. just to make sure i didn't have any surprises right around the corner. they found that i might be border line diabetic but that was the extent of it. oh, i also have sleep apnea. as long as i keep these things under control i'm in no danger. i can't really explain why i've been thinking about all this so much. but i'm pretty sure this train of thought is the result of all this election crap i've endured.

Saturday, November 06, 2004

Our Little Piece Of The World

i love the corner store. i used to work there. working in a community mom & pop's store is one way to meet absolutely everyone. it's like it's own little 'peyton place' as well. u hear all the news before anyone else does cos someone is always stopping in & telling u the bits & pieces they know. sometimes its about the wreck up the road, they just saw ur husband in the local bar or about the fight they just got into with their significant other. u put all those bits & pieces together & u get a lot better insight into just who people really are & whats going on in the area. u create the big picture or sometimes they just know the whole story. but u really never know what to expect from one day to the next.
and eventually u see everyone u ever knew in the past. once my cousin i hadn't seen in at least 10 years walked in. he hadn't changed a bit so i recognized him immediately & it was great catching up with him.
once a neighborhood kid & his pals decided to knock the place over. he begged to be let in after store hours & everyone being friends they let him in, he walked in & pretended to be shopping to allow the doors to be unlocked so the other boys could storm the attendants. the kid wound up getting shot & turning his buddies in for shooting him. admitting they all planned it together. stupid kids.
in the last week a couple things has happened at the store that tickled me.
hubby & i pulled into the lot to get gas. as we pulled in i noticed the car on the other side of the gas pump looked alot like ours. hubby commented on the car as he got out & said 'it could be us'. he pumped the gas & went on in to pay. i was sitting there listening to the music when the door opened. i started to reach for the key when i looked around. the red haired man had sat down in the front seat & was reaching back out the car telling some kids to come on & hop in. not my husband, who is not redhaired for one & was not traveling with 2 children. luckily i did recognize the guy & said 'billy, i think u have the wrong car'. billy jumped & looked around at me like a deer caught in the lights. he wanted to run but was too fascinated with his own mistake & froze in place. i finally said 'i think ur on the other side.' he apologized & said 'dude, i can't believe i did this. i'm sorry, i didn't really pay attention'. i think he was stoned. i know he was buying beer.
later, that same week. we pulled in but it was really crowded so i parked at the gas pump. after hubby walked away a big white, brand new deisel truck pulled in on the other side. the door opened & this really hot guy slid out. he looked straight at me & called me by name.
me: how ya doin
hottie: i'm good how bout u? what have u been up to?
me: a whole lot of work & being a grandma.
hottie: i haven't gotten there yet but i heard u were working at the (insert organization name).
he then called to his buddy to pump the gas so he could talk to me.
about that time i looked up & saw hubby coming & said:
me: umm, gotta go.
hottie: (looking where i was looking at hubby) do u have to?
me: yeah. see ya.
hottie: i hope. take care.
the wild thing about this is wow! he was cute & i did recognize him. but damn, i can't remember who he is. doesn't that bite? how many brain cells have i killed?
the news at the store tonight was that the cops are writing tickets to anyone traveling the portion of the road in front of the store that is closed for construction. did u know they could do that? oh & 'pimmy' our local man whore is single again. look out barely legal little girls. u'll be pregnant next.