On Being Thankful

i've got one for you. yes, you all know i've been sick. not just any sick but deathly sick. i've shared this info with anyone that would listen. including sonny, honey & all the kids which is where the sick came from. i've said about a dozen times how loved i am when i get whatever cold they have. thanking them soooo much for sharing all the love & the germs. i mean they knew i'd missed a whole week of work & not on any kind of fun loving vacation. sick in bed with fever & shits & shakes & no, definitely no, fun. what did sonny & honey decide would be just the thing to shake me out of my sick bed? make me cook a thanksgiving meal. not just cook it though. nothing that simple. i had to shop for it first. so, first thing thanksgiving day i'm on my way to the grocery store to buy the food that i had not intended to cook. first disappointment is i'm out of my sick bed & second disappointment is the store is out of turkeys, well, ham would have to do. third disappointment is sonny, honey & snarkie are the only ones that ate. everybody else was still too sick to even think about food.
to make matters even worse...hubby is 2 sheets into the wind with his beloved vodka by the time everyone gets here. this always makes for a memorable day. i feel so ashamed for the way he treats us when he gets that drunk. sonny & honey didn't stay long considering all the love & welcome that was oozing from his body language but they left all four kids regardless. shithead honey wouldn't dream of giving up her weekend free of kids to be stuck up sonnys' ass.
friday morning i am greeted by a somber group all sitting on a separate seat. apparently, his hang over didn't allow any noise & for one reason or another everyone was being punished. great start to the morning. remind me to do a 'why i hate my husband' post sometime.
to sum things up.... what am i thankful for? that its over!!!!!
later.

Turkey Day

Happy Thanksgiving all!!!
i'm still sick but i did make it to work this week. i'll try to post more later.
later.

Alien Slime

this weekend has been the most frustrating ever. everyone is sick...sneezing, puking, cough, aching everywhere, fever, chills, shits, shakes, you name it we have it. all the kids, me, hubby, sonny, honey, ms. m, mr. peepers, hell, even the mouse living in my closet has the shits. last weekend when they dropped the kids off ixxie started puking almost immediately. when sonny got home on sunday with the kids he was on the phone wanting to know what i fed the kids. well, duh, nothing different. nothing bad. why? on the way home snooks puked. as honey was getting snarkie out of her carseat she puked. drenching honey...hair & all, you all have seen her hair. it's down to her ass & thick. naaasstttyyy. sonny said she was screaming like a banshee. i don't know if anyone out there has the drama queen, allll about me kinda girl honey is in their life but believe me she is the shit in her own eyes. i wouldn't wish this kinda girl on my worst enemy. listening to her scream like a banshee would be the last thing on my list of things to do. especially over her damn hair that can be washed pretty easy.
this weekend has been no different except mojo has the twins & we only have 2 aliens to handle. plus us. waaaaahhh. i don't want to be the one taking care of all of us. i gave the bird some ibupropen. don't worry, i just gave him a little tiny drop in a big cup of water. he got maybe 1/1,000,000 of a dose. poor little ms. m has been shivering non-stop all week. we've kept an extra comforter on the couch for her to rest under & stay warm.
i can't lie down without coughing & jeez could my head hurt any worse? i've coughed so hard my ribs are sore & my back....ohhh my back. i think i've got cold settled in my back. thats gotta be bad.
the kids have pretty much lounged around all weekend. nobody feels like eating. for the most part all we do is take medicine & ache.
slime? both ends. cough so hard you shit your pants. take a shower & cough & shit again.
at 4:30am on saturday jammer & i got into a cold shower to try & break his fever. we were both about 102 & i was ready to take him to the hospital. the shower was the last hope before the trip to childrens. when i climbed in holding him he said 'fuck!!! noooo, its cold memaw.' but within minutes his fever was breaking so i thanked god & we went to bed only to wake up right back where we started. so, again on sunday we climbed in the cold shower. after another dose of medicine we at last broke the fever. now if we can just keep some food down maybe we can get better.
i have to go to work sometime.
later.

Still Floating

i know i kinda left that last post hanging but i really don't know what i want. i just feel like i'm missing something. i hate the feelings i'm having. i'd like to run away. just disappear.
of course, being sick hasn't helped. crap, maybe thats it. maybe the fever has fried my brain. it's a great diet though, i don't feel like eating anything, so i've dropped 12 lbs. i might not feel good but damn i'm looking great from the neck down. if i could just get up enough energy to dress i'd take my sweet little ass out for a ride or go to work.
i haven't been to work in a week. it's a down time so i'm not missing anything. we have a temp that needs training & theres not enough work to keep everyone going so if i was gonna miss time now is the best time to get sick. not that theres ever a good time to get sick but you know what i mean.
looking on the brighter side of things:
its too bright & my eyes need to adjust.
later.

Where Am I?

where to start? i've been thinking alot about where i am, in the scheme of things, with my life, my love & my future. you're gonna have to bear with me here. i'm not sure how i want to say this & not lose your interest. seriously i'm not sure what i want to say. for those of you expecting me to be my normal witty self, maybe you want to stop reading now. that's a joke... like i'm ever that witty!
i work, pay my bills, cook, clean, do laundry. i fix things broken, kiss booboo's & give hugs. i take care of my family, i believe in god & love all animals. elvis presley should have lived forever. i'd like to believe that princess diane is really alive & well somewhere out there living a calm, happy, loving life. i'm a pretty good person. but when you do all these things & you give all of yourself you expect something in return. you expect what? i'm not sure but i am not getting what i need in return.
i don't feel like i matter to anyone. if i disappeared tomorrow..my job could love me or lose me...we are all expendable. hubby...don't get me started. he'd have to crawl his way out of the bottle to even realize i wasn't around. my son would miss me for a minute. my step mom would probably mention me every now & then & my sisters.. they might pick the phone up once or twice in a year to call me then remember. the kids are too young to count.
i.
i'm a floater.
i guess its better than moms analagy of a dung beetle. her life.
i have to think some more on this.
i guess i have to float.
later.