Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Where Am I?

where to start? i've been thinking alot about where i am, in the scheme of things, with my life, my love & my future. you're gonna have to bear with me here. i'm not sure how i want to say this & not lose your interest. seriously i'm not sure what i want to say. for those of you expecting me to be my normal witty self, maybe you want to stop reading now. that's a joke... like i'm ever that witty!
i work, pay my bills, cook, clean, do laundry. i fix things broken, kiss booboo's & give hugs. i take care of my family, i believe in god & love all animals. elvis presley should have lived forever. i'd like to believe that princess diane is really alive & well somewhere out there living a calm, happy, loving life. i'm a pretty good person. but when you do all these things & you give all of yourself you expect something in return. you expect what? i'm not sure but i am not getting what i need in return.
i don't feel like i matter to anyone. if i disappeared job could love me or lose me...we are all expendable. hubby...don't get me started. he'd have to crawl his way out of the bottle to even realize i wasn't around. my son would miss me for a minute. my step mom would probably mention me every now & then & my sisters.. they might pick the phone up once or twice in a year to call me then remember. the kids are too young to count.
i'm a floater.
i guess its better than moms analagy of a dung beetle. her life.
i have to think some more on this.
i guess i have to float.