Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Turning Points

we all have times that we refer to as 'turning points' in our lives. i have several. i'm sure you do too.
when i was about 9 years old the first turning point was choosing to live with my dad instead of my mom. dad was married again while mom was still looking for mister right. i was brainwashed into thinking that my mom was too busy with her single life to raise kids. they convinced me that dad had more time & money to invest in my upbringing. they were right about the money but time? not. nobody mentioned love either. i was niave, not a deep thinker & the important things didn't come to mind. at that age i still took for granted that adults would make the best choices for me. notice 'for granted' is the operative words there.
the next was when i became pregnant with my son. i had to grow up pretty fast. yes, he was an unplanned event in that time of my life but no, i wouldn't change a thing and before anyone gets the wrong idea i was married but i did that too young as well. had i waited to get married i may never have had sonny. after all i waited to have a 2nd one & that never happened. timing IS everything & i don't care what anyone says.
the 3rd was when i lost my mom. i no longer had my best friend & confidante. that pretty much left me devastated.
4th was marrying my present hubby. i won't go into my situation cos that isn't the point i'm trying to make here. enough said?
the 5th was the birth of my grandson. that was when i decided it was time to take better care of myself & make sure i was around for the duration. i want to see him & my granddaughters grow up, get married & have kids of their own. i want to know my great grandchildren & i want a long, long life to enjoy that time.
which brings me to the point of this post. i've reached another turning point. last saturday, i lost another cousin. they say she died of a heart attack. she wasn't 50 yet. i started thinking about it & realized that not one of my cousins have lived past the age of 55. thats only 4 years away & i can't have that. it just doesn't fit into my plans. right now i'm thinking i'm looking death right in the eyes & its a mexican standoff. so, heres the plan. i've found a detoxifying recipe for my liver. i'll work on that tomorrow. i've also seen these patches that you can put on your feet for detoxifying your body. they're on my list of must haves. i've given up fats, which is most foods. i'm working on giving up alcohol & soda. give me a break. i can't give up everything at once. i have given up several sodas a day & now i drink more water than anything. cigarettes are on the list but i have to lose my weight before i can give them up. they tell me i'll gain at least 20 pounds when i quit so i have to lose a little more before i attempt that. after all if i only lose 25 & gain back 20 i'm fucked before i get started. other than going on pure oxygen & putting myself on a donor list for replacing everything in my body i'm out of ideas. if you have ANY ideas for me, PLEASE, don't hesitate to let me know. they say 2 heads are better than one so i'm thinking a whole village has to be great. all ideas are acceptable & if it sounds stupid its probably the one thing that will work. spit it out. speak up. remember, this is for my great grandchildren.


Gledwood said...

if it sounds stupid its probably the one thing that will work... shoving your head in the oven sounds stupid and indeed it is! but I take your point

ML said...

Lindy I think you're making this a lot harder for yourself than you need to. Many of your problems would be sorted if you just started exercising for half hour at least 3 times per week. Park further away from places, get a bike, use the stairs .. just anything to make you use your body more. Then tackle one thing at a time after that starting with the cigs... which you'll need less of if you start exercising anyway because the feel good they give you will be replaced by the exercising.

Detox is somethig your body does on it's own.. if it didn't you'd have died from all the toxins years ago :-)

Anonymous said...

PS: Motivating yourself is hard. Join a club. It's the best thing I did for my running.

Walker said...

Take your time and you will achieve what you want.
I've lost a total of 77 pounds in 3years just by changing some things.
The biggest was the beer.
I peeled off most of it because of that and not eating pizza at 3 am.
Set your goals for the long term and walk through it slowly and you will be surprised.
If you try and dive into it full blast you will defeat yourself before you really get started.