Healthy Feedback

hubby & i both had doctors appointments today. i've been kinda worried about seeing him again. the last time i went in for a checkup he wanted me to have a sugar test. he thought i might be on the verge of diabeties. i couldn't really afford to have the test done & insurance doesn't cover the prevention of diabeties only after you've been diagnosed. so, i didn't have that test done. he never even mentioned it this time. i guess my blood pressure & everything was ok. my reason for going was a lump i found in my breast. he felt the lump, plus found another smaller one & said although i was low risk he wanted me to have a sonagram & mammagram for them. as soon as i have this done he wants to see me again. i don't know if he'll suggest i have them removed or why he wants to see me immediately afterward. i'm sure he has a reason. when doc wanted to check my boobs hubby was in the room with us & a nurse. he asked me to open the front of the gown & let him look to see how they stood up. 'hahah, doc, these babies don't stand at attention anymore'. they don't lay flat but they're a far cry from the perky things i had when i was younger. i think what he meant was compared to each other how they matched. he giggled alittle at my comment. its kinda hard to be serious with him. have you ever tried to say 'doc holliday' without a grin? everytime i think of his name i see him in chaps & cowboy boots standing in the middle of the road with his arms out at his sides saying, 'draw sucka. i got the coroner on call & i'm gonna take you down'. since i've cut back on my drinking & no more soda i seem to be in better health. the one thing i'd like to do is give up smoking but my brain just won't wrap around that idea. i talk to god on most of my drive into work & don't smoke while i'm doing that. sometime after my talk but before i get to work my brain screams, you're almost at work & i haven't had one yet! its mostly when i'm sitting at home watching tv that i smoke the heaviest. especially if i'm drinking. i've thought about chewing gum in place of smoking but that shit is full of calories i don't need. i did get some patches but i'm thinking wearing a patch while i smoke a cigarette can't be good for me either. i know patch or no patch i'm gonna want a cigarette. also, if i quit & hubby doesn't i'm gonna be weak & give in. i feel doomed before i attempt it. anybody have any ideas that might help me? i'm open to suggestions & i really would like to quit. hubby had him doing a little more work. he did some kind of test on his feet that i've never seen before, running what looked like a letter opener along the bottom of his feet. one foot reacted & the other did nothing. he also had him hold his arms out in front of him, with his eyes closed & stepped back to just watch. then he had him bring his pointer finger to his nose from each side & back to touch the doc's finger. he said these tests told him of damage to hubby's cerebral cortex. his side to side functions were ok. not great. but ok. which gave him indication of center cerebral cortex damage caused by his drinking. he admitted they believed his seizures were caused by his drinking & he really needed to quit both drinking & smoking. sometime soon hubby needs to fast for the day & go see him for some blood work he wants done. we explained that with our income it was becoming increasingly harder to make ends meet & we were trying to get hubby signed up for social security & was there anything he could do to help us with that. unfortunately he didn't seem interested in helping us with that. isn't it possible for a doctor to advise the social security administration that the patient can't work? i thought it was all about having a doctor backing you. i guess it has to be more than siezures that can strike at anytime, including while driving a car, that is considered a reason. hubby was declined. we'll appeal that decision, of course, but i thought having the doctors opinion on it might help. its a shame that immigrants can come into our country & draw our social security without ever working or paying into the system but we can't get it ourselves when we need it. i see commercials on tv all the time for lawyers that will get you approved. who can afford to pay a lawyer to get social security for you when you can't afford to feed yourself have the time? some of them claim we don't get paid unless you get paid. makes me wonder how much of your social security they'll take? ok, time to make the doughnuts. later.