Sunday, December 09, 2007

Catch And Release

why is it you never have a camcorder when you need one? things here at alien nation has been interesting to say the least.
friday honey called to let us know they would be on their way early so they could stop to do some shopping on their way home. fine with me. just means i get a little extra time with the big guy. she also informed me that jammer was in trouble. his teacher had called the night before to let them know he had borrowed a phone from the class room. it was a cell phone she had brought in for the kids to play with but it was a $200.00 phone. someone had told her that jammer was the guilty party & she wanted it back. nobody knew anything about him having a new phone so honey went into his room to look for it. of course, the kids were in bed & she didn't find anything so when they got up in the morning she asked jammer about the phone. he admitted to borrowing the phone but he had left it on the bus. what a thief! he didn't even bother keeping up with the damn thing until he got home. well, they did find the phone on the bus & it was returned. no harm....lots of foul. he's way too young to be getting a bad rap at school like that. but he was guilty & he was punished. you'd think he'd learn?
hubby & i needed to do some grocery shopping & you know how i can't stay away from the dollar store? i took the kids into the dollar store with me so he could get the shopping done quicker. (don't worry, he had a list.) i told the kids i'd buy them each a dollar toy if they were good while we were in the store. i let them go ahead & pick the toy. just so they knew the taste of anticipation. they were right beside me the whole time we were in the store. they didn't get too loud. they were good. honest!
when we got home jammer wanted to take his coat in the playroom. i thought, hhmmmm, kinda strange so i asked him to give me the coat. he got a little panicky & tried to get out of letting me look at it. now, i was totally suspicious. because the rest of the story has to be a little more detailed & is gonna be a really long post i'll go ahead & break the news. in his pocket i found a

lightning mcqueen play flip phone that i didn't buy for him!!!

i was just amazed that he'd steal anything when i offered to buy him something but there it was. in living color. i had a talk with him & told him how bad it was to steal & he insisted he borrowed it. i asked him if he only borrowed then who did he borrow it from? you have to ask someone if you're borrowing & then it meant you have to return it. who was he returning it to? he told me they didn't want it back. well, i was determined to win this one. he needed to be taught a hard lesson. i have a neighbor that i've known for about 25 years that lives right behind me & guess what? he's a security guard who wears a uniform, that looks close enough to a cop to pass as far as a kid is concerned, with a gun on his belt & a badge on his shirt & handcuffs, people! HANDCUFFS!
i had hubby visit him while nobody was paying any attention & a little while later my friend shows up fully uniformed. in his most authoritive cop voice & asked for 'Jammer Alien'. as soon as jammer came out of the playroom & saw the uniform he started crying. mr. b was very good in his role. he didn't let up for a minute & told him that every criminal he ever arrested cried as he was arresting them. they always got caught & they were always sorry when they did get caught. he explained that there were cameras everywhere & they were always watching what you were doing. he said that he had seen the store tape & watched jammer steal the toy. he told him that he had no choice but to arrest him, the store wanted to press charges. jammer tried to explain that he just borrowed the toy but mr. b sternly explained that you don't borrow things from the store. things there were always for sale & if you don't pay for it then you go to jail. they had a long chat & jammer gave up his big sister as the one that taught him how to steal. thats right! he ratted her out! mr b boomed 'where is ixxie'? so out of the playroom she came already in tears. i was so glad this turn of events came about because we've had several issues with her anyway. (too many to even go into here) now mr. b was really on a roll cos he was taking them both to jail & separate jails so they'd never see each other again. talk about a bawling bunch of kids. he had them both so scared they couldn't hardly talk. now, to be honest, i was nearly in tears as well, poor jammer was just hiccuping from crying so hard. he couldn't hardly talk for hiccuping. but i nearly busted a gut when mr b asked him to turn around cos he was gonna have to cuff him & take him to jail. the poor baby put his hands together behind his back like he'd been arrested a thousand times before. i swear you would have thought he was an old pro at it. mr. b looked at me & mouthed, 'has he done this before'? i shook my head no but you could tell he was about to lose it too. after cuffing him he turned him around & told him to tell everyone goodby & ixxie to do the same cos this was the last time they were gonna see us. the kids just got kind of quiet. like they were really gone for the rest of their lives & accepting that. you could have heard a pin drop. finally jammer asked if he could take the toy back & maybe not have to go to jail if he promised to never steal again. mr b asked if thought he could really stick to that? jammer agreed that he would never ever steal again. so mr. b asked ixxie the same thing & she too promised to never do anything like that again. finally, he agreed to give them another chance & slid the cuffs off jammers wrist. on his way out the door he looked back & said, 'if i ever have to come back here again, i won't give you another break. you understand that don't you? you will go straight to jail'. heads bobbed everywhere & in the end jammer asked mr. b if he could give him a hug for not taking him to jail. course, mr b bent down & took a hug.
i'm thinking this was the best medicine i could have ever dished up. i can't wait to talk to mr b again. i know he had a blast with this one. guess who's getting a really good christmas gift for being such a good police officer?


ML said...

Oh this reminds me of a story I need to blog!