Saturday, January 28, 2006

Five Alive

5. he's a liar. is there anything worse than a liar? (besides a thief, but thats another post) i hate a liar. a friend's mother always said 'he'll lie when the truth will do'. it fits. cos it's not like i won't realize he lied. its not like i won't find the brakes that he didn't really put on the car stuck in the trunk. its not like when i go to get the a-drive that he supposedly took out of an old computer to replace in this one i won't discover that there it is....still in the computer.....even though he just told me it was laying inside the computer room on the desk. i might even accept that he misunderstood my question if the computer was sitting on that desk but its across the room piled in a corner all still intact. right where we left it. then he tries to convince me (the sober one) that he didn't just say that. he said that last night. the point? the a-drive is still not on the desk, not out of the computer, not ready to be used. what difference does it make when you told me the lie? the fact is he lies, again. did he not think i would notice when my car wouldn't stop at the light that maybe something was wrong? did it even dawn on him that i bought the brakes because the old ones weren't stopping me? he'd rather lie. 'yeah, honey, i did the brakes this morning before you got out of bed. does he convince himself that he really did it & what, i went behind him & undid the job so it just looked like he lied? did you pay the bills? 'yes, honey, i paid the bills'. then comes the notices that something is about to be turned off. hubby, you didn't pay the bills so what did you do with the money? he looks me straight in the eyes & swears he paid the bills. whatever. how do i deal with this? how do i respect this man when he lies to me like that?
its just another fault i find with the man i married. another reason why i hate him.
it just keeps getting better.
tonight he doesn't even know me. (sounds like a song) after 15 years together...13 married.. he tells me my eyes are brown. he's so saturated that he's forgotten the color of my eyes? maybe it was only for a second & the rest was trying to convince me that he loved me enough that the color of my eyes change for him with my mood. huh? why lie? just tell me you're drunk & can't answer that question right now. funny thing was, i didn't ask the question. we were watching 'monster in law' & j-low asked the question. he thought he'd be cute & answer it but damn, i didn't even ask for that hurt.