Tuesday, January 03, 2006

The Night Before Rudolf

i never did get around to telling you how rudolf broke his neck. he did too. right here in my living room.
ohhh, did you know that in reality all male raindeer lose their antlers in the winter? which means if all those stories about dancer, prancer & comet were true (hahaha) then they were actually female raindeer. now it makes sense too about the names. who would have ever named a male anything 'vixon'? come to think of it, who in their right mind would name anything 'vixon' except maybe a stripper. stage name.... you know?
now back to the story....poor rudolf. he will never be the same. his little head won't hold up anymore. he used to hold it so high & proud with his 4 little pronged antlers (well hers, actually) whatever, i'd named it rudolf back when it first came into my life. christmas time about 15 years ago we exchanged gifts at sissy nippers house. he was a present to me that nipper was pretty proud of. the body held magazines & i had to paint the antler tips, his feet, face & tail. fixing dinner one night while the kids were here i looked around to jammer sitting on rudolf. i asked what he thought he was doing & he told me 'i ride your rudolf'. i asked him not to break rudolf & just about that time jammer flipped straight back off of him. of course, he was holding his neck the whole way down. when he landed rudolf laid to the side & jammer was looking at the head in his hands like he just discovered there was no santa claus. he quickly sat up & said 'memaw shut your eyes, i got a surprise'. thats how rudolf broke his neck. guess i lied, jammer broke rudolf's neck.
theres other things i wanted to post but i swear for the life of me nothing is coming to mind right now. don't you hate that? i'd call it writers block if i was a writer. i think its dead brain syndrome. probably just old age syndrome. i used to joke about alzheimers but i had a friend whose mother had developed alzheimers so i had to start watching my jokes on the subject. needless to say, she didn't appreciate my humor when i got whatever syndrome that took over & made my mouth run before i thought about what it was running with.
god, these kids are still sick. they sound like they're dieing. any suggestions for gripping non stop cough? my dad always gave us hot toddies. but these days i'm sure child services would love to know about something like that. man, time have changed. back then dad gave them to us because he cared. these days its because your trying to kill the kids or something horrendous. i've been lied to all my life. they weren't really looking out for my welfare. they were trying to collect my welfare.