Suckage At The Super Market

and i really do. suck that is. i can't do shopping in a hurry. it drives me crazy to have to fly through & not compare prices, poundage & goodness. hubby wants to make a list, go straight to what we need, pay for it & get the hell out. i just can't do it. i don't think i was created that way. i've tried the list thingy for him. i take my list & head into the store with every intention of just going straight to the aisle i need, picking up said item, adding it to my cart & moving on. somewhere between what i just picked up & heading for the next item i always get waylaid. damn krogers for knowing this about me. they know exactly where to place that strawberry jelly right at the end of the aisle of spagetti. the spagetti i need but the jelly, who needs 3 jars of jelly? one in the fridge, one in the cupboard & the one in my hand? and damn wal-mart all together. i shop there mainly for things i know i will never return because i've had the shittiest luck with wal-mart products & whatever their return policy is. but i still get coerced into buying something i didn't want. and as luck would have it the damn thing breaks within a few days. i've never taken anything back to wal-mart that they gladly returned or gave me a replacement for. most times i walk back out of the store carrying the same damn broken product cos they thought of some new way to harrass me, of course, pissing me off to the point i just walk away. someday i will burn that store down. and that fire, i'll start with all the crap i bought from them that they wouldn't return. bbbwwwaaahhaa. i'll get them. evil stores. all of them. except family dollar. such a cheap little store & they are soooo easy to get along with. i love dollar stores. thats a store i could spend my entire day in cos they have so much cool stuff stuck everywhere. i can go through a dollar store one day. come back the next day & see a whole rack of something i missed on my previous trip. i get absolutely giddy. the whole time grump is standing over me glaring. i don't understand why he can't enjoy my enjoyment. revel in my revelations. just fucking get off my back & let me have fun. its a cheap store & i want to find treasures!
speaking of treasures. we just bought the harry potter book. i had jammer carry it in & as soon as the groceries were put away, hubby grabbed the book & i haven't seen his face in 3 days. damn, i should be shopping.
later.

Moods

my younger sister, nipper & i have been chatting via email through the week. nipper has been in a mood & we tried to pinpoint what it was that was putting her in the blue mood. i think my moms birthday being friday the 13th was a big part of it. we both still miss her very much & her birthday always brings us down. its amazing that we can put up any kind of front at all as much as we’ve been through. even more amazing is the fact that moms husband, who wouldn’t keep a job & take care of her, is still alive & taking damn good care of himself on our tax money. with my sons help he lives like a king.
you know i understand that friday the 13th is supposed to be an unlucky day. but in my mind it can’t be too bad. for one, it was the day mom was born. that was a very good day for me. otherwise, i wouldn't be here to talk about it. for another, i spit a piece of gum out & it landed on a tip of a branch. it stuck just like i glued it there. i wasn't aiming for the branch but as luck would have it. now how many times could that happen? it has to be like being struck by lightning & only a once in a lifetime kinda thing. makes me think maybe i should be playing the lottery more often. afterall, you can’t win if you don’t play. from now on, i am absolutely playing on friday the 13th of any month.
later.

Have You Ever?

do you ever just feel like you want to curl up in a ball, stay in bed, cry your tear ducts dry & just let the year pass by? not have to open your eyes or contend with anything that might be going on around you? not have to hear anything, see anything or feel anything for the duration? thats how i feel right now. i think about my baby bird out there all alone & i can't do anything to find him or help him. i think about the cold rain he's possibly enduring every time i look up into the sky & see the dark clouds coming. i think about the sneezes that will come from the cold he'll catch from being in the rain. i think about whether or not he's found food or someone to feed him. if he's starving to death or has already. did he fly into a glass or a car? has a bigger bird attacked him & he just laid until he died in pain? i just can't help but feel useless and hurting for my bird that may be hurting too. being useless would anyone miss me for the year? cos i'm gonna miss him for many years to come. may god keep him safe & bring him home to us soon.
later.

Mommy!

today would have been my moms 67th birthday.
Happy Birthday, Mommy. I still miss you.

Somethings Out There

and it ain't good. i'm seriously wondering what is going on these days. somethings out to get me. of course, whether or not 'it' realizes there could be almost no better way to get me than through my animals. barring my grandchildren...there is almost no greater pain than seeing an animal hurt or mistreated. taking my baby bird away from me is as good as abusing him. he needs my love & i need his. every morning, if i didn't get out of bed at a reasonable time, he let me know just how much he wanted my love & attention by screaming for me. he would wake me no matter what it took.
i've been to so many sites telling me the habits of cockatiels but man, no 2 birds are exactly the same & mr. p was proof of that. he was awake at all times of the day demanding attention or food & flying through the house like a mad bird on a mission. he would whiz through here like a bolt of lightning! don't tell me he won't be singing at 6pm as often as he would at sundown. i lived with him...i know.
on my way to work this morning everyone & their brother was in slow mode. when i hit the parkway i thought it would pick up. every other day the light changes & before you can take a breath the cars are gone. like the snap of a finger you're left in the dust. not today. no way, of course, could it be because i was running late, that everyone seemed to be taking their good ole sweet time. so i pulled out of the 35 mile an hour moving traffic into the fast lane thinking to myself that the joke was on them cos i was gonna be that dot on the horizon leaving them in the dust for a change. to my amazement i saw another car a few lengths back with the same idea. 35, 40, 45...oh shit.. thats a cop. as big as life in my rearview there was a cop picking up speed right behind me. thank god, i hadn't hit the 60 miles an hour i was shooting for cos the limit is only 50. but he knew what i was up to cos he stayed right behind me the entire time i was on the parkway. fucking cop. who do they think they are to pace us? you'd think it was their job or something.
well, i got through that one without a ticket but going through the city i had another cop tailing me almost all the way. what do they do? call ahead to have someone else pick up where they left off? yeah, i know they do cos he was obviously watching for me. what do i have a bright red sticker across my ass saying this one is our target today. well, my car is red. think thats a clue? the next test was at one intersection i usually take this kinda zig zag pattern to hit the street that takes me straight to work. i've always wondered if it was legal to take that pattern cos you cross another parkway..a 4 lane parkway then immediately turn back a sharp right. it doesn't feel legal so i figured it probably isn't. but today the cop behind me just went on his way & let me go. guess i was wrong but i used all the right signals, maybe that was what softened him. that would have been their chance if they were gonna get me. i felt grateful when i finally got to work without a $60.00 + ticket.
i'd forgotten about all my close encounters when i left work. cruising along on my way home i hit the scenic route. i wasn't speeding at the time just kinda tooling along mostly watching the skies for my bird. i did notice the van that came across 2 of the 4 lanes to take the left going the same direction i was going. i did notice the car in front of me turn into the same turning lane to make the left from where the van came from. i did get this funny feeling i should watch the van cos it didn't seem to be stopping. and sure enough the idiot pulled right out in front of me. i slammed on my brakes & blared my horn at the idiot as they swerved back over into a ditch to keep me from hitting them. my question is where the hell are the cops when you really need one?
later.

Still Not Giving Up

i've been at it for a week now. i don't think i'll ever quit looking for peepers but i don't have a clue in which direction to go really. i haven't gotten any response from anyone. he just seems to have disappeared into thin air. i've printed up another 35 flyers & i'm posting them tomorrow. instead of just the 5 mile radius i'm going 10 now. this is what i'm posting.
LOST BIRD:
HAVE YOU SEEN ME?
MY NAME IS PEEPERS
I AM A 19 YR. OLD GREY COCKATIEL WITH ORANGE CHEEKS & YELLOW PLUME. MY TALENTS ARE THE WOLF WHISTLE, THE ANDY GRIFFITH THEME SONG & I TELL YOU I'M A PRETTY BIRD. IF YOU SEE OR HEAR ME PLEASE CONTACT MY MOMMY.
i've provided both my phone number & email & the picture i used in the last post. i've signed up on every forum i've found to advertise that i want my bird back at any price. i'm not sure i ever understood just how much a part of your life & family a pet is until i lost one. sure, i've dealt with the death of beloved pets that took me months to get over, actually years, cos if you mention my babies i still cry at the loss but to know one is just out there & you have no way of protecting it or bringing it home. thats another hurt all together. here's still hoping for the best with mr p. if you see me on the road i suggest you watch me cos i'm doing most of my watching in the trees & air.
wrrr, wrrr, wrrrillll, pretty, pretty birdie. come to momma, pretty bird, momma's got num-nums.
later.

Have You Seen Me?

i don't feel much like writing right now.
friday night was a normal friday night. i came home from work, ms. m freaked & climbed all over me. i loved her up & scratched her head. mr. p screached, flew to me & i played the kissie game with him, scratched his head & loved him up. the kids arrived, we gave them bathes. mr. p tried to steal my food & ms. m begged. it was a normal night.
he woke me singing saturday morning around 9.
jammer & i got out of bed at 10:15 & i fixed his bowl of cereal. i sat down & expected mr. p to come flying over for our morning ritual of kissie games & pretty birds. but he didn't come. i searched the house over because, of course, nobody had thought about the bird.
right now, my heart is breaking cos mr. p is gone. i can't find him anywhere in the house. i've whistled till i'm blue in the face. i've searched the neighborhood. i've been up & down the roads calling for him, whistling for him & doing his 'andy griffith' song to no avail. i've talked to so many people in the neighborhood & nobody has seen him. i have signs up at the mailboxes & the local grocery store. we've moved his cage to the yard with his mirror facing up towards the sun so it'll shine to catch his attention. i've put lettuce out & bread, his favorites.
i'm not going to work. i'll start again in the morning just in case.
mr. p is gone.

please god, let him find his way home safely.

i love you, peepers.