Checking In

i knew i'd be back too late for thanksgiving wishes. i'm glad i did it in my last post. we spent friday with hubby's family & had a great time. mum always does a huge spread including hors' dourves. she always lays out shrimp, humus, cheese spreads, spinach dip, candies, homemade breads & cakes, and this year she did a new dish called pumpkin fluff served on cinnamon graham crackers that was to die for. the pumpkin fluff was made with whipped cream & pumpkin spice. the cinnamon graham crackers made it!! i was super careful & didn't splurge but i tasted some of everything.
we had our own dinner too, with lucky, sonny, honey & the kids. ixxie was beside herself with so much food. she told me she was in 'food heaven'. she was serious! she emptied her plate & asked for seconds & thirds of some things. my favorite is always the broccoli casserole. besides the turkey, that is. i've always loved turkey & its not bad for me. guess what i'm feeding on this week for lunch?
did you hear about the horrendous shoppers out on black friday? i mean, one story i heard out of ny, a temporary was literally trampled to death.
can you imagine being the parents of a young man that took on a temporary job for the holidays as a sweeper & you get the news that they were trampled to death? what a horrible ordeal for that family. what a horrible way to die. kind of makes me glad i don't have the money to shop. besides i'd never act like that in public & don't care what sales are out there. thats just crazy. normal people just don't run over each other. whatever product they bought at that sale couldn't be worth a life. maybe thats just me but i wouldn't be able to look at it without remembering that someone died while i was in the mad rush to get it.
my younger sister, nipper, skipped it all & flew out to vegas for the weekend. now i'm hearing that the weather may be extending her trip. i don't know if i'd complain about being stuck in nevada. sounds like a godsend to me. she's a workaholic so the break will be good for her. she's such a sweetie & her company doesn't appreciate her like they should. course, i don't think any of us are actually appreciated like we should be, though. but again, maybe thats just me.
so anyway, its back to the grindstone for me after a 4 day weekend. and my weather person is calling for the nasty 's' word. i'll be glad when winter is over already. i hate that white shit.
later.

Changes! They Are A Coming

the scales are reading 38 pounds lighter. my pants are in the process of getting taken in. even my underwear is falling off. plus, i've bought some new clothes that fit me. i'm feeling good. for the last week i've kinda slacked off on the dieting. some things are just too good to pass up & frischs fish sandwich was one of them. its best when its dripping tartar sauce & lettuce off the edges. num-num. if you have a frischs or big boy
in your area you know what i'm talking about. i passed 2 before i started thinking about it & by the time the third one came up i couldn't say 'no' anymore. i mean when you pass your favorite restaurant 3 times...well, you know the old saying, 'third times a charm'. i also made some banana pudding with vanilla wafers for lucky on sunday & i indulged in that. not overboard indulging. its not like i've pushed my luck & gained any weight back. i've just eaten some of my favorite things this week. i'm sticking with the exercise & my weight has been pretty stable. with thanksgiving coming up i know i'm gonna give in to some turkey & mashed potatoes with stuffing on the side. after that its back to eating right & watching my calorie intake. i'm figuring if i give myself a break once in a while it won't seem like i'm on a friggin diet for a lifetime!!
jammer was in a thanksgiving play this week. he had two lines he said all by himself & then 2 lines he said with the class. i worked with him all weekend to learn his lines & finally by sunday when i asked him to say his lines he said, 'memaw, this is like the 59th million time'! yeah, he was right. it seemed like i asked & asked him to repeat them but he said them without a hitch.
he's learning to read & write too. i think its all too cute. he's learning more & more all the time. he's always trying to use new words. earlier in the day he had been practising his writing & when ixxie made him move he looked up at her & said, 'oh no, now you broke my contract'. 'wait, memaw, thats not the right word, is it'? ixxie piped in with 'i think you're looking for the word....ummm'. (cos she's a know it all & has to always put her 2 cents in before she thinks)...'i don't remember the word, either'. i told him they were both looking for the word 'concentration'. jammer said 'yep, thats the word'. ixxie said, 'no, i don't think thats it'. grrr. how can you teach one that thinks she knows everything? you know i feel sorry for ixxie. i was doing the math & her mommy had her first baby when she was only 14 years old. i don't think ixxie had a shot from the beginning. she's got her mothers stubborn know it all attitude & she's already boy crazy. thats 2 strikes & well, like i said, i don't think she's got a shot. third times a charm...3 strikes & you're out...however you want to put it...it applies to ix. i've been preaching college till i'm blue in the face & her response is she doesn't even like school, except for the boys. is it any wonder i'm coloring my hair?


which i did btw. i'm now a redhead.
what do you think? oh, & can you tell i've lost weight. am i on the verge of being a goddess or what?
psyche!!! (snort..snort) i'm just giving myself a little nudge in the right direction. hell, you could help. tell me how great i'm looking!!!
and in case i don't make it back beforehand...
'happy thanksgiving everyone'.
god bless & safe traveling.
later.

Living The Blessed Life

i do have a guardian angel. she watches over me every day of my life. a perfect example of this was wednesday when my brakes went out on a hill. i was coming up to a light & hit my brakes to stop but nothing happened. all i could think was oh shit!!! my heart went clear up to my throat then dropped to my feet. i was so scared so fast i thought i was gonna pass out. my head actually felt woozy. that can't be good for my heart. i pulled into the parking lane & (thank god there was no cars) coasted to a stop. if i'd been going any faster i'd probably be dead right now. i called hubby & told him what happened so he wouldn't worry about me. i was definitely gonna be late. i had just had my back brakes changed over the weekend. we had backed the car up several times & slammed on the brakes to adjust them. little did we know that the bleeder pin had snapped in the process. it had been leaking brake fluid all over the place. something i hadn't noticed until after the fact. now, everywhere i go that i've been parking in i'm seeing dark spots all over the ground. including my own fucking driveway. how could nobody notice that? hubby walks out through the driveway everyday to go with his dad. wouldn't you have thought seeing the wet spots might have dawned on him that something was leaking? i think if i'd walked through without the car parked there i would have noticed. since i'm a creature of habit i always park in the same place & therefore the spots were always under the car. i hate to think i have to get down on the ground & look from now on to make sure there aren't new wet marks but by golly, i guess thats what i'm gonna be doing for at least the next few weeks. i kinda value my life like that.

My Precious

most dogs are good dogs they're just majorly misunderstood. everybody knows a puppy is gonna chew & an old dog is gonna sleep. the old saying that you can't teach an old dog new tricks just isn't true. you can teach an old dog new tricks, if you're very patient, but the problem with that is their brain is so feeble that for every new trick they learn an old one might escape out the holes in their head.
i've told the story of ms. m many times over. she's a sweet dog especially considering the start to life she had. she does the normal, sit, stay, lay tricks. one of her speciality tricks is giving high fives. something i've taught almost every dog i've ever owned. its a cute trick & i love it.
one of the cutest things she does is when she wants to beg for something she steals your heart by high fiving at you. she just starts waving her paw in the air while she stares at whatever food you have. something else i think is adorable is when she wants 'lovins' she comes to me & bends her head down for kisses. i kiss her on the top of the head & she's happy. i'm not sure but i think she learned that from mr. p. he always laid his head against my cheek until i turned to kiss him. he could take kisses all day long. ms. m gives me the impression she knows when hubby & i are arguing, too. i swear the dog speaks english. the other day, hubby & i were in a heated discussion & he was getting under my skin. i was getting pretty upset & said to her, 'mousey go over there & lick daddys ass for me'. she walked over to him & politely licked him across the face. i'm telling ya the dog knows her english better than i do. or she knows something about body anatomy i don't. or she considers him as much an ass as i do. whatever! good girl.
later.

It 'Runs' In The Family (Pun Intended)

y'all know i've bitched about constipation for awhile. this medication the doctor has me on hasn't helped in that area at all. when i mentioned this to the dr. do you know what he told me? eat more fiber. does a salad a day plus 2 vegetables & at least, 2 fruits count as enough fiber? i bought metamucil to help but omg does that stuff taste nasty. its all i can do to choke it down. i bought some tea bags to mix it with but i can't find the time to fix tea every day. how do english people find the time for tea time everyday? honestly, give me a cold diet soda & tea is the last thing i think of. besides i hate what it does to your teeth. smoking is bad enough on my teeth. i've decided to make a pitcher of tea & just heat individual cups in the microwave to help me remember to drink the met-a-shit stuff. hopefully that'll work for me. all this constipation worry makes me think about my grandma. i remember a little trick my grandma used to tell me. she'd say just take a little sliver of soap & stick it up there. then you can squeeze it out with your fingers. something i've never considered doing but i hadn't thought of grandma for awhile. so at least the problem made me remember grandma & that she wasn't always the wisest woman in the out house. grandma had full blown diabetes 1. she had to take an insulin shot everyday of her life. i know she ate right in the morning cos i was the one that stopped by her house every morning on my way home from my 3rd shift job to make her breakfast & give her the insulin shot. i'm not sure how she ate the rest of the day but grandma had issues. she loved candy & always had some stashed somewhere on her person. grandma owned a 3 story house with a full basement. so besides what she carried in her pockets she had lots of places to stash shit & she was a packrat, too. i used to have nightmares of crawling through the walls of the house cos you couldn't walk through the rooms & her second floor was haunted. i remember her trying to break her candy habit with the diet candies called 'aids'. i don't know if you remember those but they were like caramel squares & they were a diet aid. back then. i never saw grandma eat the diet candy but if we ate any she sure as hell knew they were missing. in the end, grandma couldn't hardly see & when they started fighting her gangreen they cut her toes off first. then the top half of her feet. from there they moved up to her knee & finally to the thigh. mom moved grandma into the house with her so she could look after her. by then grandma had lost both her legs & honestly, i think she was losing her mind too. grandma always complained that she had to shit. mom bought her milk of magnesia cos being diabetic they didn't want her to take alot of laxatives with all her other meds. grandma also had hemorroids. i know that doesn't help when you have bowel trouble. lifting grandma around wasn't much of a problem. she weighed next to nothing without legs but she drank the milk of magnesia like it was the candy she couldn't sneak anymore. so everytime you picked her up she would shit all over. not 2 minutes later she would tell you she had to shit & all day & all night she would announce throughout the house, 'oh lord, i have to shit'. so, see, it does run in the family. i just don't want to have to lose my legs so my granddaughter has to lift me to shake the shit out of me every day.
later.

Cloning

we visited with my aunt this week who was in from florida. i took the kids with me & when jammer walked in she said, 'is this sonnys'? i couldn't help but ask 'how did you guess'? having jammer is like raising sonny all over again. he's an exact clone. he couldn't be more like him if he pulled him out of his ass and i'm not just talking about his looks. his thought process, the way he uses his hands, the looks he gives me, the way he pouts & gets his way with me are all the same. right down to the things he plays. sonnys favorites were farm animals with fences & barns, gi joes, matchbox cars & wrestlers. oh my god, how he loved the wrestlers. the kids in the neighborhood would get together in the front yard & play wrestling. they'd give each other the chance to power drive them into the ground. they'd clothesline each other & giggle like crazy. jammer doesn't have the matches in the front yard that daddy had but they still compare favorites & talk the wrestling crap or gi joes that daddy talked. everytime we go to the store he makes me invest in as many gi joes as he can talk me into. usually winding up with at least 2 new men a week. i know, i'm a sucker. the worst part about that is i have to invest the same amount in ixxie everytime i give in to jammer. sometimes 10 bucks isn't all that much but damn, sometimes its the last 10 bucks i have in my pocket. in cleaning out the shed we found a shitload of sonnys old gi joes & jammer about had a heart attack! it was like christmas in july. (wait for it, i'll get back to the wrestlers in a minute) some of the men were so old & abused that they broke immediately. again with the heart attack. you would have thought his world was coming to an end!! he just couldn't believe that his newly founded treasures were crapping out on him. he brought the broken men to me & begged me to fix them 'memaw, you can save them, can't you'? he had every confidence in me. i couldn't let him down so i got my handy tool kit out & went to work.

Afterall, i'm the memaw & i can do anything, right? we popped some popcorn & cracked open a few beers & went to work... lining up the men in question.

there were parts all over the place & we had to match them up before we could start. i don't think you can tell by

this picture but i had asses & legs everywhere.

if you look really close theres a screw in the back of every gi joe. if you screw that out you'll find a stub that you can wrap a small water gasket around then loop it down over the hook connecting the legs that feeds into the torso. put everything back together & viola! you have a fixed gi joe!!

of course, i had help. jammer was very interested in how the fixing process went so he watched every move i made & collected the men as fast as he could we they were fixed. he was also right there helping me to match the pieces together. god forbid i matched anything up that didn't go together. you know, as talented as memaws are they are still capable of making mistakes & he wasn't gonna let that happen.

he was so intent on matching pieces he didn't even realize this pic was taken. he lined the men up on the table with torsos & legs that he wanted to go together. without knowing what went together he did a pretty good job of setting them up for me. every now & then i had to check with him that he really wanted these green legs with this pink woman & he'd correct the setup he had. we worked on the men for about 2 hours. after each man he would give me a big hug & kiss to encourage me to go onto the next. i had to get my glasses & have several beers to get through the whole mess but in the end we were quite pleased with our selves.

he made me show each one & get a pic with it when i finished. for prosterity of course. he also made me promise i'd blog about it all so we could save the memory of the night. the kid was really excited to get all those new gi joes. in the end we would up fixing a total of 13 men. i got lots of hugs & kisses & jammer lined them up to show all his new men.

i'm not sure where number 13 went but i know there was 13 when we finished. oh, snap, now i remember! number 13 was helping jammer take the pic.
and for the 'piece de' resistance'!! the television is advertising a wrestling ring with all the new wrestlers that jammer screams everytime it comes on tv....'I'M GONNA GET THAT FOR CHRISTMAS'!!.

later.

To The End

well, all thats left is the counting. hooraaayyyy! i don't think i've ever been so glad to see an election end. this one has been long & brutal. all the slurs & kniving going on with the commercials. shheesshh. right now we're watching a neil young 'heart of gold' tape. i'm just bored enough with the election that i'll wait till all the votes are counted to find out who the new president is.
yes, i did my voting today. did you? not being politically inclined i just did my voting & got the hell out of dodge. some of my co-workers & friends took it all a few
steps farther than that. to the point of not making it to appointments, meetings & work. hell one of them got to work & had to go home cos they were so hung over. lets face it...if you have to spend more time in the bathroom than at your desk...you don't need to be there & you've probably overdone it a tad.
i hope the next 4 years go as well as that vote went for him. he's got a major job ahead of him. and my money. i hope i can keep more than he decides to give away. so, here's to our new president!!! may he be a good one. with the reports i've heard hopefully he'll live through the next 4 years. i don't want to sound like a crazy but wouldn't that be a shame?
PS...did i mention what a historical event this all was? WOW!
later.

Priceless

they were playing on the jungle gym. they decided to play catch but ix was the only girl in the mix & the boys tended to chase each other rather than pay attention to her. she did everything in her power to get the boys attention. which is normal for ixxie. she loves to have the boys chase her. pappaw says she'll be pregnant by the time she's 12. i'm beginning to believe he may be on to something.
hey, yooouuuu caaaan'tttt caaatch meeee! (in a sing-song kind of voice)
hey, iii'vvve gooot your guuun! (again with the sing-song voice)
hey, catch me!! (rather demanding voice)
hey, i'm faster than you, naaanner, naaanner!!
hey, dickhead!!!!!
Jungle Gym: $150.00
land payment: $312.00
look on her face when she realized Pappaw was standing in the doorway watching her every move: PRICELESS
where do they learn this shit? when i asked her she said 'the kids at school yell it all the time'.
when asked if she didn't know better than to call another kid a dickhead? 'yeah, but i didn't know you were listening'.
what to do?
i think i need to invest in dish liquid....for mouth washing. thats what my mom would've done to me.
later.