Tuesday, October 04, 2005


and thats all it took. it's winter. well, it feels like winter. this time last week the sun was shining, i was swimming, running around in shorts & sandals, playing ball & wishing i was back in high school. damn, time flies. today i wake up & i feel like i've died, holding up a few hundred pounds of dirt & pushing up a bunch of the middle of winter. when did i get old? when did the sun die? what year is it? is this what old feels like? seriously. i'm forgetting things, aching everywhere & i can't see to drive anymore, at night, anyway.
driving at night in the rain is like taking my life in my hands. i might as well shut my eyes when other cars come at me with their lights on. i'd be seeing about the same. i'm sure driving the same. and thats not good.
i'm developing either carpol tunnel or arthritis in my hand. my fore finger, ring finger & middle finger of my right hand has gone numb. especially when i try to pick something up. of course, thats the same fingers i use to play with myself so maybe thats just overworked. but between my back & my brain i'm not sure which hurts more. migraines have got to go. my doctor says its menapausal migraines. easy for him to say... he doesn't have to live with these owwies.
i need to invent some kind of stretching machine that bends my back backwards. another that throws my legs over my hip to crack everything. o yeah, i guess they do have them in the gyms. huh. but i don't want to have to work more to feel better. how can that help?
people, i'm old.
don't get me wrong. i don't feel like this all the time but today hit me hard when i woke up & it was so cold. cold on top of all these aches is not a good thing. and a beauty queen i ain't.. today.
hey, did i mention that snarkie knows her abc's? ixxie (5) finally learned hers 2 months after the 3 year old. snookie skips 'g' & 't' but she almost knows them. jammer mouthes them with you but he won't say them out loud by himself. i think he's afraid of the girls making fun of him.
he sure has it hard living with those 3 girls. snook & him are great friends but when she gets with the other girls, she is a typical girl. they gang up on him & won't let him play with the 'girl toys'. they giggle at little jokes between them about him. ixxie will say 'he still wears diapers' & snarkie will say '& he smells'. snookie will look kinda sad for a second before she starts giggling but she goes right along with them in the end. the cutest thing is before they go to bed, no matter what has transpired through the day, snooks will always hug jammer & tell him she loves him.
a few weeks back we had that big event at work. my younger sister, nipper, kept the kids on friday for me. i went to pick them up on saturday & snooks was so glad to see me she started crying. i picked her up & she said 'i thought mommy honey gave us away to her'. she's a tender little thing. i want to protect her forever. i want to protect them all forever.
therefore, i can't get old. i have to stay the same girlie, young, energetic, beautiful me that i have always been. (no conceit here, haha) besides, this past weekend i realized how much i like the guys flirting with me. i like being appreciated. i like strutting my stuff.
i like life.
and to top it off.... i like daisies....what do they think they're doing? adding to my miseries.
ummpff..i'll show them. i just won't plant them this year.
well, gotta go.
later hipsters


ML said...

Lindy dont worry.. I feel like that a lot too and Im only 32! You need a dramatic change to shake things up and break the routine. Arrange to start doing things you never thought to do on a regular basis and do something that drags out a renewed self confidence - that'll make you feel better inside and out.

Lindy.. The Alien Keeper said...

Thanks ML. Good advise & I've been going to the park this week with ms. m to just get some fresh air & exercise. i'm not going down without a fight for sure.