What Makes You?

well, we're coming up on the new year, are you ready? 2008 has been a tough year. it seems like everything that could go wrong has and to make matters worse having strep throat the last few weeks has been no fun. i don't know what 2009 will bring but here's hoping for a better way of life & an easier path to travel. for the most part the posts i've read lately all read like obituaries. gloom & doom seems to be the theme for the new year. i can't go into a new year with that outlook. so, i'm hoping to bring some cheer into the blogworld. who could not react to a beautiful young child that loves everything about his world? he thinks he's the luckiest kid in the universe & wants to love everybody in it! he gives hugs, kisses & smiles freely.
doesn't this make you smile?

he has his whole life ahead of him & i want it to be a wonderful life. i wish for him all the happiness for the rest of his life that he holds in the wonder of those beautiful blue eyes today. and i'll never forget taking this pic when i asked 'hey, dom, do you love me'? i snapped this as he was saying, 'i love you with my whole heart, mamaw'! he makes my world perfect.

and how about this gorgeous family? baby kb has that mischevious look of 'what can i get into today' swirling through her head. she's learning to sign as she learns to speak. she snags your heart when she signs 'please' for a cookie or 'thank you' when you give her a kiss. she's walking all over her new world & loving every minute of it. all stairs in her world are an adventure that she must conquer, not an obstacle. i wish for her & her family a long life of loving & learning together. of conquering the world with the enthusiasm that she tackles those stairs. may there always be bright stars in their lives that shines like the twinkle in her eyes.

theres another wish i'd like to make tonight. i wish, for all of you, to find what makes your world perfect. hold it near & dear to your heart. depend on it. count on it like you've never counted on anything.

around the corner is a new day, a new year & a new hope. reach for the stars my friends. i'm sure you'll find something wonderful too.

later.

December 25, 2008

merry christmas to all
&
to all a good night.

Living On The Edge

yeah, i feel alot better. today is the first day i've actually felt human. i've been doing a salt water rinse & gargle along with lots of antibiotics. it finally worked. through all my throat aches having to answer the phones hasn't helped but the work must go on. so i swallowed gently (impossible) & endured to just get through. i took off today through the weekend to give my throat some well needed rest. hopefully by monday i'll be back to normal & ready to tackle another few days. i also took off thur. & fri. of next week for new years & the dreaded birthday thingy. not related to the sore throat just to finish off the year in a lazy mood. i like working just 3 or 4 days aweek. i think everybody should only have to work a few days a week & be able to accomplish things like healing & gardening or whatever for the rest of the week. in my defense i'd like to mention that the gifts are all wrapped & the stockings are all stuffed so my christmas 'have to's' are all in order. now, i'm allowed to be lazy & sick.
tomorrow is christmas & i'll be spending that at my inlaws. friday we go to my mothers. sometime in between i have to let the kids open our gifts. that may have to wait till saturday morning. at least now i can give kisses without having to worry about sharing my strep throat & killing an undeserving family member.
uh um, mom, i'm not contagious anymore. now can i come get my christmas gifts?
later.

On The Brink Of Death

i think i have strep throat. my friend cookiebaby visited a few weeks back & she told me 'i hope you have a good immune system cos i think 2 of my rugrats have strep throat'. i didn't give it any thought cos i've never had it & figured i could fight whatever off. man, was i wrong. my glands have been so swollen that it hurts to even breathe, let alone sleep, talk, swallow or eat!
i mentioned to mom that i thought i might have strep throat & she said, 'that's dangerous. it could kill you & its really contagious. do you think you'll be okay for christmas?'. thanks alot mom. i really think i'll live but damn, i might not be able to swallow for a few weeks. maybe i shouldn't come for christmas? maybe nobody should get too close to me & by the way, thanks for the boost there. god only knows how we might cope. let alone my guilt if i visit for christmas & i contaminate anyone else. hello, get a grip & love me!!! i'm praying i don't kill anyone. if i do, i'm sure i'll pay for that one for the REST OF MY LIFE! needless to say, i'm medicating myself & i have a doctors appointment for the 5th of january. if i live that long... you'll be the first to know.
later.

Visions Of Sugarplums Danced In Their Heads

sonny kept the kids this weekend. they are supposed to take them to 'breakfast with santa' & have their pictures taken with him. hubby & i are taking bets on it. i hate to be so negative but usually the plans with the kids get blown off for what ever the fuck else comes up for sonny or honey. its usually honey & her agoraphobic hangups. she doesn't really suffer from this. she's really just a bitch & this is her way of getting what she wants. if she doesn't want to go someplace she uses this but by golly if she wants to do something theres no phobia mentioned to be worried about. not to mention, she's never had an attack of any kind. she just spouts the agoraphobia when she doesn't want to do something. when it comes to visiting her parents or a friend she's fine. correct me if i'm wrong but panic attacks don't disappear cos its something you want to do. either you can or you can't leave the house. right? i remember seeing a movie once that everytime the person tried to leave their house the walls started closing in on them, the floor pitched & they got so sick to their stomach they passed out. to me, thats agoraphobia. as a matter of fact, lately the phobia hasn't been spouted so much as now she has seizures. another condition that only she knows about. nobody has ever seen her have one but after knowing her for 6 & a half years 'oh, yeah, i suffer from seizures'. oh yeah, she suffers from assholitis is my opinion.
sonny is no angel in this department, either. his big thing is everytime he does take honey anywhere she shows her ass so he'd rather avoid the situation by blowing off what ever they've promised the kids. for instance, they took the kids to the zoo one day while i was working. on the way to my office two women were checking sonny out as they were coming through the parking lot & honey started yelling across the lot at the women about why they were checking out her man. one of my coworkers hearing this going on said to me, 'she asked them if they wanted to take a picture so it would last longer & then she'd break their heads with the camera'. i was horrified & glad they decided to turn around & go home. another time they went to a fair & sonny ran into some kids he had attended high school with & she created a scene over the girls in the group. again instead of ignoring her sonny packed them all up & took them home. can you imagine being a kid that finally got to go to the county fair after being promised for weeks they would, actually pulling up, getting out of the car thinking 'oh yeah, we are here, what could go wrong now & then nope. mommy showed her ass again & we're going home.
we took the car to sonny today & yep, they didn't make it to breakfast with santa. turned out sonnys partner showed up last night with a couple bottles & they got drunk instead. i said to sonny, 'you what? sonny you have 365 days out of the year to party with your friends & you can't take ONE day off to do something with your kids that you promised them to do? you two suck as parents'. 'so, is there another day that you can have breakfast & take pictures with santie'. he didn't know but promised they'd come through if there was another chance. yeah, when hell freezes over. i guess its up to hubby & i again. i wish i'd had the kids this weekend. today it got up in the 50's & would have been a great night to take them to santa's village at the zoo. we've got the only pics taken of them with santa & i guess thats the way its gonna be for the rest of their lives. if they get to do anything memaw & pappaw will take them. and we don't fuck around!
later.

Chains For Safety

you know, its way too early to be this cold. although, the cold i can handle. its the snow that puts me in a tizzy. no, thats not true, its the freezing snow that puts me in a tizzy. it does things to my heart. like unnatural palpatations & irregular beating. when i get in my car to make that hour drive to work & my tires aren't whats turning my car...i start freaking. i have way too many hills & curves to negotiate to not have traction. what ever happened to global warming? i thought by now we were supposed to have florida weather & our weather was supposed to have moved up towards canada. i think someone misfigured. or when they took our aerosol canned goods away it also changed the path that global warming was supposed to take. damn ecologists. no, i shouldn't joke about global warming. its a serious problem & we should do everything we can to prevent it from happening. but have you read that in the latest findings the changes in the way land is used could contribute to global warming as well? seriously, every change we make, whether its for the good of the people or the good of the land, seems to be contributing to global warming. or have some detrimental effect on the earth. people, i think we're just screwed. and i know when it comes to driving in the snow, i, in particular, am screwed to the fullest extent of screwdom. you see, i've spent my entire life being convinced i'll die in a car accident. i've had nightmares about this. i've had one recurring nightmare of my car flying through the air in slow motion in a circular motion but i never land. they say if you die in your dreams you die for real. thats why my car never lands. cos i'm still alive but the dream is so real i've accepted that is my fate. i'm probably gonna fly off one of the hills i drive during a snow storm & my car is gonna twist in the air until i land & thats what will kill me. the landing. i think i'm losing my grip. see thats what winter does to me. it makes me freak out over the stupidest things. this weekend i'm taking my car to sonny for some winterization maintainance. i wish they still allowed chains on tires. i'd feel alot safer if i had a chain on my tire to drive in the snow. did they outlaw those or did someone just tell me they outlawed them? i remember when i was a kid seeing cars with chains on the tires but i haven't seen them in years. i'm gonna have to research that. i know studs are only allowed during certain months but i really don't know about chains. maybe i don't have to die in a winter car wreak after all.

Starship Log 2069

hubby is watching 'victoria secrets' on tv. save me, please. someone needs to send the mother ship for me right away. you don't know probing until hubby gets to it. the probing will be more than i can take if i stay here. please, please, someone take me away!!!
later.

Surfing Without A Net

good evening friends. i am happily coming to you without my internet service provider. and you know it is wayyy faster. i surf the net occasionally just to see what new technology is out there. one of the things that always pissed me off was my isp would disconnect me after 4 hours. if you pay for the service i don't think they should take the liberty to decide when you should get off their bandwidth. i used the free internet at first but then, when i realized i wanted to be online for more than 10 hours a month, i upgraded. i didn't take advantage of them. i never went over the allotted time. if they didn't want me to use their damn bandwidth they shouldn't have taken me as a customer. (i'm sorry but the damn link won't work in this post & i don't know what i'm doing wrong. so if you click the title up there maybe that'll work.) their homepage always had all these flashing advertisements that crippled the shit out of my pc. i could click a link & walk away for 10 minutes & still not see the site. i never actually timed that so i may be exaggerating a little. sometimes i get pretty impatient waiting so it seemed like forever, though. i've been thinking about eliminating their dialup software since i found the site & have been putting it off. till tonight when my homepage froze almost immediately. that was the straw that broke this bitchs back. i'd had all i was gonna take of all that stupid useless advertisement. who wants a dancing fucking spiderman & flashing netflix crap tying up their computer? not me, for sure! i've got too many cool things to do to bother with freezing pages & having to do the 3 finger salute to get my pc going again every few minutes. so now, i just sign in through my internet connection which i sent a shortcut to my desktop for & i'm a much happier surfer. you can bet i'm gonna share this with all my friends. they already think i'm a computer goddess & this will just confirm their assumptions. we, the poor people, must stick together in screwing the big corporate asshats that think they can outsmart us.
huh?
later.