Sick To My Stomach

jammers first visit to his orthodontist was last week. turns out they want to crown some of his teeth. apparently his 7 cavity filled teeth are a disaster for his new teeth getting ready to come in... if they rot too far they will rot his permanent teeth out before they even form.
awwww...shit...
i just heard a thump in the bedroom. i know in my mind what happened but i have to be the dutifull wife & go see where hubby just fell. s'cuse me. while i help him up...or maybe just drop a rose on him. (hahahah) come on! (lighten up) when he falls i never know what he might hit. theres all kinds of shit that are potentionally dangerous. we're talking bed corners, heaters, doors, dressers, jewelry boxes, hell, even just hitting the floor isn't going to feel good. right? he could strangle himself with a sheet. he freaks me out. i quit rolling out of my bed when i was about 5...how about you? the best part is when i get to the bedroom (hey, sometimes i'm in the middle of something) i know he's going to still be laying wherever he landed cos he's tooooo drunk to get up or realize he even fell in most cases. so, i'm very careful about how i phrase this...honey, are you alright? do you need me to help you up? most cases he looks up at me from where he landed & gives me this really dumbfounded look but doesn't even realize where he is. what d'ya mean? i'm fine. after i explain that his face is laying on the fan, on the floor, with a beer in his hand that he didn't spill & he didn't even take a blanket with him so he's laying there naked plus there was this huge thump & i'm not sure if he hit something or has it all under control-he tells me he's alright. famous last words...right?
i feel sick. can you guess why?
later.

When Did That Happen?

when did i start shaving over half of my arm? when i started shaving i seem to remember it being just a small slice of hair on the underside of my arm. now when i raise my arm to shave i see hair where there didn't used to be arm. 3 or maybe 4 strokes later of the razor & i'm like its all good now. ok, now that i shave more of my underarm do i need more deodorant? cos god knows i caked the shit on before. how much of that shit do you really need? how thick or thin do you layer it? is there someone out there that ever actually got deodorant lessons? or gave deodorant lessons? i'd certainly like to talk to them. i'm sure i've been wasting deodorant for years.
now shampoo....thats different. i'm smart enough to know that i only need to wash my hair once. unless i color it one of those fucked up colors that i decide i don't like on myself afterall & have to wash it out fast before someone else sees me. as a matter of fact i don't think i read the back of a shampoo bottle until i was well into my 20's. i had been washing my hair for way too long for the instructions to mean anything at that point. but when i read lather, rinse, repeat i thought 'holy shit, i've been doing it wrong for years.' i decided my hair looked fine so they were wrong about that one. ssshhhheeewwww. i missed the bus there, didn't i?
speaking of missing the bus i missed the bus on that ugly, dark, thick, sometimes spotted looking hair leg shit that some women get. i've been lucky there. my hair on my legs will get long (cos i don't shave them alot in the winter) but they tend to be blond & not very thick. unless you touch me you don't realize i have any hair at all. that sounds dirtier reading than it did typing.
conditioners, lotions, suntan products, nail polish, perfumes, all that stuff i'm all good with. the more i use the longer i smell & look better.
spermicides (or birth control of any kind) on the other hand. where do i start with that?
later.

Drivel

honey hit a deer . don't ask me when cos that was never clear with her. she couldn't pinpoint on what day she actually hit the deer. just that it was raining & she slowed down to go around a corner & just as she started to speed up all of a sudden there were 3 deer standing in front of her & she swerved to miss-turned around & clapped her hands-touched the ground -&-clicked her heels 3 times all to no avail. she literally destroyed the front of the car. the hood & dog house will all have to be replaced. but that meant if i wanted the kids i had to drive an hour & 1/2 south to pick them up & take them home on sunday. bleck! i hate to drive the expressway. those people are crazy! yes, i did it. i have to have my alien fix or i go nuts!
i have to win the lottery so i can quit work & move closer to them. so i can be with them all the time.
later.

Where Is Waldo

at what point do you wake up & smell the roses? when do you ask yourself how much you take before you quit? sonny has talked to a lawyer & although they aren't married & although she's never worked to help with the bills she can take his home. she didn't know how to write a check when he took her in but she reaps all that he's sowed if they split. including half of his bank account. isn't that a crock of shit? thats what he gets for being a caring, responsible adult . he loses everything he has worked 15 years to have. what have i created?
she says she won't press charges & the police tell him they aren't gonna pick them up cos she's crazy & they feel sorry for him being with her. but what the judge decides will be the closing factor. that will be tuesday. cross your fingers that its dismissed for him.
i can't help but think like mother like daughter. mom isn't giving you enough attention so you try to get teachers attention by telling a lie on mommy. putting mommy in jail. mom isn't getting enough attention so she tells the cops a lie getting daddy in trouble. sick, sick people.
taking this stupid scenario one step farther. sonny disappeared for the most part of this week. he told me he lost his phone last weekend so he may not be able to call me much this week. he was gonna check at his cousins house & see if he left it there. on monday i called the cell phone & it went to voice mail. he didn't call back. i figured he hadn't had any luck finding it. tuesday his papaw called me to see if i had heard from him. i told him no but i was getting ready to call around & see if i could find him. i talked to his uncle that he'd been staying with & he said he left monday night to go to his cousins looking for his cell phone. he didn't take any clothes & was planning on working with him the rest of the week but that he hadn't seen him since. wednesday honey called worried that he hadn't even called to talk to jammer. he always keeps in touch with jammer even when he's working out of town. by thursday i was panicking. where could he be? i called everyone i could think of including the cousin he was going to see. which i never got an answer at. i even called the hospitals in his area to make sure he wasn't laying in some room not knowing who he was. finally, i called her brother. he lives pretty close to sonny & i know he drops in on him once in awhile. he told me sonny took off with a truck driver friend & they were speeding across the country on some kind of a drug run. wtf? nooooo!!! what has gotten into him? stupid, stupid, stupid! i thought he gave up partying when he had a kid.
sonny finally called on thursday. i was ready to call the cops so its a good thing he called. turns out he did take off with a truck driver but only to unload his cargo a little north of home to make a little money. when they got there the guy had another load he had to go farther north to pick up. since sonny had left everything at home he had no cash & the unloading thing fell through cos the company had guys there to do it meaning he didn't make the money he thought he would. therefore no calls. and thank god no drugs. (wait till i get my hands on his cousin)
scare the shit out of me one more time & i'm gonna disown him.
but i think he made his point to psycho bitch.
later.

Love & Aliens & ETC.

sorry, i get caught up in life & forget that i'm supposed to blog about this shit. we did get the kids this weekend but he kept them on friday & brought them to us on saturday. sonny called friday & said he'd really missed his babies & wanted to spend some time with them. which was fine with me. go, go daddy kick ass!!! impress me!
saturday when he dropped them off they were good cos daddy was in a hurry..
but jammer told me as soon as daddy left that i didn't love him as he glared at me with squinted eyes. i said you've heard mommy saying that to daddy haven't you? maybe on the phone? it was the way he said it. really mean. i could just imagine her saying it & acting the way jammer was acting (i've seen her look just like that). he told me yes, mommy said it. i assured him we all loved him & daddy loved mommy & he said he knew.
the rest of the weekend was just like every weekend before. jammer being his sweet self & ixxie screaming that jammer took her toys.
ahhhhh...... grandparents!!! again...
i did convince jammer he was an alien. i've had him doing the 'et-phone home' finger move since he was about 11 monthes old. i'll hold my finger up to him & he puts his fingertip to mine & says 'phone home'. its gonna be a rule with me that we always remember this. its something i can do in church even without saying a word & he'll understand what it means. the twins do it too.
this weekend we watched ET & when he saw that he looked at me. 'memaw, did you see what he did.' i said 'yeah, wonder where he learned that?' jammer said 'from us? i am an alien'. i said 'yup, we all are.' he said 'i love being an alien.'
later.

Abiding The Law

for the most part, i guess, they are talking on the phone & staying away from each other. sonny is gonna stay with his uncle & his family for this week. he's letting her stay in the house to keep the kids somewhere safe with no worries of becoming too much of a burden on the wrong people. maybe getting kicked out in the middle of the night or whatever that crazy man might take a notion to do. next week he's supposed to be working out of town which he does alot anyway. that will be a 3 week job that he'll be staying in a hotel room on the house. he left her the checkbook so she can have what they need & won't have to worry about money.
damn good kid. he's being very responsible. she doesn't deserve it.
he promised that nothing would change regardless of what happens with them. i'll still get the kids for the weekend.
i can't wait for this court thing. i wish the judge would see her for the crazy nutcase she is & demand she see a shrink indefinetly. she needs to grow up for sure. in the mean time i'll still keep you posted.
later.

Happy Hour

in hell. thats what a few drinks in that crazy psycho bitch that my son lives with turns into.
this weekend has been a memorable one. as far as i can summize she had a fun & frolicing night planned that turned into her 'i didn't get my way night so you will pay'. she had dropped the kids off before i even got home from work. i called about 7 to talk to him & she told me he hadn't made it home yet. she had talked to him on the phone & he was supposed to be on his way home but she would have him call me when he got in. she was drunk then. slurring her words & giving me waaayyyy too much detail. things i don't want to think my son has ANY part of. he called back about 8 to say he couldn't really talk but he wanted me to know he was home. apparently the fun had already begun.
fun being defined here by a crazy woman with very little self esteem & even less intelligence.
sonny spent friday night in jail because he came home to a crazy drunk psycho bitch that decided to call the police & pretend that he was beating her.
let me fill you in with her side of the story in my words.
his boss called early friday to let him know that the job they were supposed to do had fallen through. sonny called his uncle to see if he could use some help on his roofing job he had to do that day. uncle says, hell yeah, he can use all the help he can get so sonny goes off with him to do the job. well, with the extra hand the job was getting finished quicker than he thought so they stayed to finish up so they could collect the pay. which put sonny coming home at about 7:30 instead of the 4:00 that psycho bitch thought was plenty of time to do a job. she decided the best way to prepare was to have a few drinks while she stewed waiting on him to get home. needless to say, by the time he arrived home she was toasted & started on him as soon as he walked in the door. sonny likes to come home, get a shower, have dinner & settle in for the night. apparently, it made her even madder that he went about his night & ignored her trying to start a fight.
although this was all beknownst to me but thank god we had the kids. at least they didn't have to be there for this one. this all happened friday night while we played candyland.
saturday morning we get a call from honey that she's coming to pick up the kids. i'm like whats up? thats when she proceeded to tell me that sonny had punched her several times & kicked her in her pubic bone while he had her down on the floor. that he had threatened her with calling the cops so she 'made it happen'. she called the cops & he was in jail. she couldn't tell me when he'd be released, if he had a court date, what the charges were or any other detail about this lovely turn of events but she could fill me in on what she was planning on letting him remove with his teeth the night before for christs sake. any time sonny has ever gotten into trouble i'm the first one he calls. i couldn't help but wonder if she was telling the truth & he was really ashamed of himself but on the other hand this just didn't sound like my son. i had no choice but to think the worst since i had nothing else to base my opinion on but what she had told me.
although i was a little pissed off that she brought her sister & another man? (no idea who he was. he wasn't introduced.) like she thought she would have to fight her way out of here or something. she never had the need to bring anyone with her before. which made me question her. where did he hit you? in the eye. no bruises? no. are you hurt? no. can you tell me where they took him? no. who arrested him? 2 cops. from where? i don't know. who did you call? 911. damn this was going nowhere. i know i don't want to let her take my grandson but i didn't know what to do. this was sonnys call not mine. i asked her where she was going & she told me to her sisters. i asked her to keep in touch whatever happened & to take care of my baby. she left...
i cried...
hubby cried...
ms. m whined...
the bird shit on her picture.
just desserts!
sonny called a few hours later. he had been released on a $50 bond & had to go to court on the 21st. i asked him what happened. he said 'mom, the minute i walked in the door she started bitching about what other woman i'd been with & who had i fucked while i was gone. she just kept going & going so i took a shower, ate & went to bed. i guess that pissed her off worse & when she came to bed feeling all lovey dovey i got up to go sleep on the couch & that made her even madder. by the time she hit me 6 times i threatened to call the cops & she picked the phone up & called the cops. the next thing i knew i was in the back of the cruiser & these cops are telling me she said i hit her.' 'you should see me i have a big gash on my arm & bruises all up & down my back. i've even got a black eye where she threw an ashtray at me. the cops couldn't believe she didn't go to jail. we took pictures but she said she wasn't pressing charges & if the cops let it go nothing will probably happen except right now theres a restraining order on both of us that we're not allowed within 500 feet of each other.' that meant his son too. thats what he was most pissed about. 'she's got my son at her damn dads house. her dad who messed with her baby girl & there she is with my son.'
i cried more...
i'm not sure when i'll get to see my grandson again. i don't know what may happen to him & ixxie both being in that house. all i can do is pray that this will work out in the end, that they'll be safe.
i'll let you know as i find out.
later.

Invasion Time

jammer laid his head on my lap this weekend. he just stood there for a minute. then with his big beautiful blue eyes he looked up & said 'memaw, i'm a genius', grinned from ear to ear & hugged me. what was that all about? of course i agree with him. he is a genius but how did he know it? what had he done to give himself such an epiphany? i may never know but i do know before the night was over papaw was asking for his glasses & could someone help him find them. we were also missing a bat, a ball & football pads. sounds like a plan in the works. ahh, thats why he's a genius, he thinks he got away with hiding the ingredients to his wicked, evil alien plan of taking over the adults of earth. he also obviously plans on using his gorgeous eyes & that toothless grin that he applies at every turn.
gotta go. its too late & bathes aren't over yet. just thought i'd drop in before getting ready for work tomorrow.
later