Wednesday, March 22, 2006

When Did That Happen?

when did i start shaving over half of my arm? when i started shaving i seem to remember it being just a small slice of hair on the underside of my arm. now when i raise my arm to shave i see hair where there didn't used to be arm. 3 or maybe 4 strokes later of the razor & i'm like its all good now. ok, now that i shave more of my underarm do i need more deodorant? cos god knows i caked the shit on before. how much of that shit do you really need? how thick or thin do you layer it? is there someone out there that ever actually got deodorant lessons? or gave deodorant lessons? i'd certainly like to talk to them. i'm sure i've been wasting deodorant for years.
now shampoo....thats different. i'm smart enough to know that i only need to wash my hair once. unless i color it one of those fucked up colors that i decide i don't like on myself afterall & have to wash it out fast before someone else sees me. as a matter of fact i don't think i read the back of a shampoo bottle until i was well into my 20's. i had been washing my hair for way too long for the instructions to mean anything at that point. but when i read lather, rinse, repeat i thought 'holy shit, i've been doing it wrong for years.' i decided my hair looked fine so they were wrong about that one. ssshhhheeewwww. i missed the bus there, didn't i?
speaking of missing the bus i missed the bus on that ugly, dark, thick, sometimes spotted looking hair leg shit that some women get. i've been lucky there. my hair on my legs will get long (cos i don't shave them alot in the winter) but they tend to be blond & not very thick. unless you touch me you don't realize i have any hair at all. that sounds dirtier reading than it did typing.
conditioners, lotions, suntan products, nail polish, perfumes, all that stuff i'm all good with. the more i use the longer i smell & look better.
spermicides (or birth control of any kind) on the other hand. where do i start with that?


Rainex said...

Maybe you've just
gotten taller
under the arm-err, I
dunno pass!