Monday, July 17, 2006

Fingerprints On My Heart

you all don't know this about me but i make lists. i list things that happens in between the days i post so i won't forget the things i want to post about. i list things i want to remember to do. i list things i want to remember to buy. hell, if it would do my any good i'd list my day to day routine. of course, thats not good cos i'd never get around to doing all the things on my list. just like the lists i make never get finished because i 1) forget where my list is or, 2) i run out of time to do all the things i want to do.
but, over the last week i've made a list of a few things that i absolutely do not want to forget to write about here. about jammer.... OMG, is he too much sometimes. at a year old he decided he wanted to potty train himself. he was very good about peeing in the potty but totally refused to take a shit in that same toilet. when i asked him why he wouldn't crap in the toilet he told me some horrible story about the potty monster that would 'get your ass if you sat on the toilet'. he said 'ixxie told me'. which i can believe cause she is very choosey about the toilets she sits on. when we took her to our zoo she had a fit cause they flushed themselves. the first time she started screaming i actually looked in the toilet to see if she saw something. there was nothing there but try convincing a 2 year old freaked out kid that there really isn't anything in that toilet but water. especially when the toilet troll flushes the damn thing as you stand over it. we didn't push him over the poo thing. better to give him time & let him realize on his own. not a good idea due to the fact that peeing in the potty lost its luster & retraining him really became a job. especially that we never did get the toilet troll under control.
home is fine now. he's totally potty trained & has no suspicion that the toilet troll would even consider living in our home. it helps that papaw has always gone through the house & 'ate all the monsters' when they come to visit.
but!!! we went to the drive-in over the weekend. this is the first time he's freaked at the drive-in. it didn't help that ixxie reminded him about the toilet troll. so, i took them both to the bathroom before the movie started & he started screaming, ' i don't have to go no more'. 'what? you made me walk all the way here & you're not gonna go? you have to go before the movie starts.' 'no, (still with a wobble in his voice & close to crying). 'please, go for memaw'. 'no, i don't have to go.' 'yes, you do. now come on, memaw will hold you so you don't have to touch it.'
well, he did go but i swear it was the most frantic pee-pee i've ever seen in my life. he peed on my hand, his pants, the wall, the floor, the toilet seat & the leg of the woman in the next stall. thank god she had on long jeans & didn't realize it. i told him i was never bringing him to the drive-in again.
when we got back to the car i told papaw the story. 'you get to take him from now on. it has to be easier to get him to pee in the urinal as opposed to dealing with the toilet troll. at least if he freaks out he only pees on the wall'.
next trip to the toilet papaw & jammer headed on up. they came out so fast i thought there was no way they went. turns out jammer decided the urinal was ok, so ok, that while papaw had his back turned jammer jumped up on the urinal & shit!! i've never seen hubby move so fast. i think he was afraid he'd have to clean out that urinal & papaw isn't really good with smelly things.
we stayed for both movies. we made a lot of trips to that bathroom. finally 'cars' came on & the kids settled down & watched the whole movie. between movies though, jammer decided to draw on the back window. when i noticed what he was doing i asked him not to leave his finger prints all over the window. he climbed up to the front seat & grabbed my face between his little wet fingers & said 'but memaw, you love my fingerprints. don't you?' how could i stay mad about getting peed on when he says such cute things to me. of course, i love his little fingerprints. we'll be going back when they bring 'superman' in. jammer really wants to see it.