Busy Mind

i followed them to the hospital. they didn't use the siren or lights , i could see him in the back sitting up. at the hospital we waited for a doctor about 2 hours. in that time they did an ekg, cat scan & they took some blood. they took our information. his parents showed up & he talked like he was ok. he knew us all but still couldn't remember what happened. he did tell his mom who the president was & laughed. they xray his collar bone, they think he broke it again. all his tests came back ok. his brain didn't suffer any damage. his heart is strong & they admitted him to find out what caused the seizure.
when i walked in the room on friday he seemed agitated. i heard him telling a nurse that he was leaving. he'd had enough. i waited for her to leave & went in. i sat on the bed, he told me he took a sponge bath & the iv they had on him caught on another sticky monitor thing on his chest ripping his iv out. he told me he had tuna for lunch & we talked about the dog, what happened & what he couldn't remember. another nurse came in to put another iv in him, gave him a shot of something & i talked with her. she explained what she was giving him & that he'd be in there for a few days. they wanted to observe him & to get enough seizure medicine in him to ensure that he didn't do that again. when she left we sat & talked. the longer i sat there the more agitated he got. he started telling me he wanted a cigarette. at one point he leaned over the bed & said come here, give me a hit, you've got a cigarette don't you? i told him the man in the next bed had oxygen he couldn't smoke in here. i told him i'd be right back & went to get him some water so he could brush his teeth thinking that may help him get his mind off of cigarettes. in the time i was gone he yanked the iv out again, unplugged his monitor machine & was headed down the hallway. i called to the desk that he was going somewhere, as i took off down the hallway after him. we retrieved him back to the room. by now, he was getting mad & talking out of his head. he told me that they had things hooked to his head & was trying to make him a robot. he told me that these little things out on the rooftop were little children & why did they have them out there? were they already robots. he even asked what kind of institution this was & where did they get all the money to set this place up in the middle of god knows where. he just kept getting worse. the nurse came back in to put his iv in again & he went off. he started screaming at her that he wasn't going to be changed & he wanted out of this crazy place. he wasn't going to be their guniea pig anymore. they tried to get him back in bed but he wasn't having any of it. they asked him if they could give him some more medication & immediately after he started fighting with them. they moved him to icu by telling him they were going to process him out. they had called for security but i calmed him down enough that the cops never showed their faces although they were standing right outside his door. we walked him to icu & they started hooking him up again. at first he was ok but kept talking more & more crazy. his imagination was going 90 miles a minute, he was halucinating. i stepped out of the room to let them do their thing. all at once he went berserk. he started screaming at them to leave him alone & get out off this ship. he was leaving & they weren't going with him. a nurse pushed a button & people came from everywhere. i stood at the door & watched as they poured in, trying to get him into bed. when he tried to bite a nurse i walked away. by that time there was at least a dozen people in the room. one nurse was yelling for straps & i knew the worst was yet to come. i called his mother to let them know that things weren't good. she could hear him screaming in the background. she's such a soft, loving woman, i didn't want her to see him like this. i asked her not to come visit him till he gets through the worst of this. i told her everything that was going on & promised i'd keep her informed.
this is all alcohol related due to the lack of. i'm pretty sure thats what even brought on the seizure in the first place. they said today that his liver is slightly enlarged & thats never a good sign. he's in 2 inch leather straps all the way around. he's fighting the straps to the point of turning his hands & feet purple. he doesn't remember anything from one time to the next when he wakes up. it startes all over again. he doesn't know me, they have him so heavily sedated & medicated to try to help him through this. they still don't know medically what caused the seizure or so they say. he's on a heart, blood pressure & respiratory monitor. things are beeping & blinking all over the room. i'm just sick in my heart to watch him go through this. i know he's gonna blame me for all this when he is alert.
before i left today i asked the nurse how much longer they thought he'd be restrained. she said she was considering taking them off sometime this evening. that he didn't seem to hate them all anymore. he's been telling them crazy stories about the kids & our home life when he would talk & as long as he didn't get violent it looked good. i guess i'll see when i get there tomorrow. i've made a pot of chile, changed my bed, mopped the kitchen (the blood was still there) & done some laundry. i'm getting ready to start cleaning my bedroom. sonny is bringing the kids tonight so i can be with them a little while. i think that'll keep my mind busy & off hubby & his plight. i hope this makes a difference in our lives for the better & he'll be done with the booze. i'm praying for a quick response. will you, please?
later.