Sunday, September 17, 2006

Setting The Standards

i have a confession to make. ixxie is on a medication given to children for 'attention deficit hyperactive disorder' called aderall. personally i think this is all bullshit. i think its a copout for parents & teachers that won't make a child sit down & listen. yes, i agree there are children that have disorders but these days it seems like every child is being diagnosed with this shit. thats what i think is the bullshit. (just like 10 years ago all of a sudden every child had to have tubes put in their ears because they had some kind of an ear malfunction.) i think this is the doctors way of exploiting the insurance companies & people out of money. they convince parents that its not them or the teachers that are at fault, so its ok to put them on medication.
we as parents (or in my case, grandparents) aren't supposed to spank our children anymore. we are supposed to teach them politically correct ways of disciplining incorrect actions. i'm all for discipline but i still believe that if a kid needs an ass busting they should get an ass busting. thats how i raised my son & he turned out fine. if it works why fix it? and yes, again, i agree some children are abused but, not every child that gets spanked is being abused. just for the record when my son did something that deserved a spanking we sat down & discussed what he did wrong & why it warranted a spanking. for those of you that do not agree with this i'd like to tell you up front, in most cases, i allowed my son to choose his own form of punishment. it worked for me, it worked for my son & if works again, why fix it? i know i sound like i'm rambling but i want everyone to understand that i was not an unreasonable parent & most certainly am not an unreasonable grandparent. i'm pretty fucking normal even if i do say so myself. this is coming from a woman who, as a child, was spanked with a quarter inch wide leather belt on a bare ass. it felt like a whip being used on my ass. there were times i had raised welts that bled from the spankings i received. i know abuse personally.
i'm out of ixxies meds. before anyone gets all bent out of shape over this, she has an appointment to see her doctor for more meds but thats a month down the road. shes convinced she has to have this medicine to function normally. when she doesn't get her medicine she shows her ass like you would not believe. she throws tantrums, she yells, she screams, she won't sleep or eat, she talks back, she cries for no reason, she fights with the other kids & takes toys from them, she smacks them, pushes them down & like i said, just generally shows her ass. shes an attention hound is what all this boils down to & if its not about her she isn't a happy kid. shes like this because her mother will not discipline her. in any shape, form or fashion. honeys way of dealing with her children is to tell them to get out of her face, go to another room & leave her alone. (if you ever heard her yell this at them you would agree this is a form of abuse) i hate the way she handles her children but it explains why all her children are fucked up.
now my confession: i put a box of nerds in ixxies medicine bottle & thats what i've been dropping down her throat every weekend. do you want to know the results? shes more normal than i've ever seen her. the medicine she takes makes her moody. one minute she'll be fine & the next she'll be mad about something. she can be sitting alone & all of a sudden her mood changes. no motivation needed. i hate the medicines effect on her. so, i let her believe shes getting her medicine to make her happy without all the side effects.
i'm not lying to her. i've never verbally said i was giving her medicine. i just grab the bottle every morning & tell her to open wide. she takes them without question & shes more fine than ever. i did this originally just to test my theory. hubby thought i shouldn't do it but after seeing the difference it made, he beats me to the medicine bottle every day.
so bullshit or not? you decide. tell me what you would have done differently. but i love comments. please, tell me something even if i suck.
better go. tomorrow is another day to make another dime.


Etoile Tyler said...

Hey Lindy, I'm sorry I having been here sooner. I sort of followed the path of Raine and ML to here and it seems I've come a little late to the party.

So as a totally unsolicited hostess gift I thought I might turn your thoughts down another path...

Lots of kids get misdiagnosed with ADHD who really have Bipolar Disorder (which is becoming increasingly popular to misdiagnose as well).... I found you this website, it might be able to give you some direction;

I'm Bipolar, and wasn't diagnosed 'til my twenties, which pretty much decimated what could have been a really wonderful part of my life.

I really hope I haven't over-stepped any bounds, but I just thought it might be something to think about, especially because kids with bipolar disorder are often not affected or adversely affected by meds like adderall.

I know I can't read a handful of your posts and know all about your life, but if there's a chance that someone's misdiagnosed her, or that this is something you might not have thought of I thought I'd speak up.

All my best thoughts are with you, and now that I've found you I'll be hanging around running my mouth off all the time... Feel free to tell me to shut the hell up.

Rainex said...

Etoiles a good girl
Lindy-she won't bullshit
It's hard to say with ADHD
whether it's bad parenting
or just the Doctors are better
at spotting the condition
now. I hope that's it's the
latter, but we all know bad
My youngest has ASD
(Autistic Spectrum Disorder)
he was diagnosed at 3 and
statemented by 4, in a way
I felt bad about him having a
label so early, but then if it gets him the help he needs?
The second thing about ADHD
personally I've met lots of
kids with this condition and
hand on heart only a couple
of them would I have truly
said had this problem-the rest
just seemed wild and unruly,
the way all kids are if you
don't crack down on them early.
My children are fine and I've
never smacked them (ok when
child No.1 ran across the road
as a toddler, but that don't count!)
I'd see if you can get Ixxie's
Ma to have Doctors look at her
again, just incase it's ASD,
ADHD or Bi-polar. And she needs
boundaries and rountine.
Ihope she gets the help she

Lindy.. The Alien Keeper said...

Thanks Ladies for your input. Im always open to suggestions so don't ever worry about overstepping any lines. I've actually been reading you, Etoile, for awhile. I read you from Beccas' site. I wouldn't ask if I didn't need direction with this one. She's a pistol. So, keep it coming.

ML said...

Lindy - Im in complete agreement with everything you just said from overdiagnosing kids with problems to giving Ixie the placebo - its an ace idea. People are too quick to pass kids off as problems because they cant be fucked to put some effort in and half the time from what I see its down to parents feeding them absolute shit every day. Put shit in, get shit back - its simple really. You know your stuff - keep pulling the wool over their eyes chick.