Sunday, June 01, 2008

Paybacks Are Hell

i don't know how diabetics do it. they poke themselves on the finger to draw blood for testing then poke themselves where ever for a shot. my fingers are so sore i can't hardly type. not to mention my arms are both sore from the shots i've been taking. just about the time one feels better its time for another shot. i have one more to take then its all up to the diet & exercise to undo this pre-diabetic dilemma i've funned myself into. yeah, i know, funned isn't a word but i'm a redneck from southern kentucky. we make up our words as we see fit.
which reminds me of a story my dad told one time. he was talking about his brother & growing up & he said, 'we got into this fit & i clumbed a tree to get away from him'. i always knew my dad wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed but that really made me realize just how dumb the 'fitting clumber' was. which reminds me of a joke my brother brought home from school one day & handed to my dad. on one side was written 'how to keep a pollock busy, turn over'. on the other side was, 'how to keep a pollock busy, turn over'. after about 8 times of turning it over & over he looked up & said, 'i don't get it'. i thought my mom was gonna bust her guts trying not to laugh at the man she adored. while my brother peed his pants laughing & i walked away as fast as i could to not get caught up in the hissy my dad was gonna throw when he realized the joke was on him. i've done some pretty stupid things in my lifetime but making fun of my dad to his face was not one of them.
damn, i need a drink. not drinking is making me remember things i wanted to forget.
like the same summer my brother pulled the pollock prank on dad we were all on this island in the middle of cumberland lake. we were swimming & diving off the cliff having a grand ole time when warden, my little brother, decided he wanted to ski. so off they went pulling him up real close to the island so we could all wave & cheer him on. they circled the island to bring him back around again & while he was showing off he didn't notice he was heading for the side of another boat that was anchored alittle ways out. we all started screaming & flapping our arms trying to get him to look where he was going but he was in his haven. & ran right into the side of the boat. mom dove, i took off running down the hill. my sister was already in the water & we were all heading for warden to see how bad he was hurt. on my way down, this friend of my parents was heading back up the hill. i said, 'lettie, warden just hit the boat. aren't you coming'? she yelled back 'i'm coming. i need my smelling salts'. i thought good idea, he'll probably need it. but when she got to the bank she sat down & started sniffing it. turned out it wasn't for warden. it was for her. she had a tendency to faint at the sight of blood.
when we got warden back to the bank dad sat down next to him. he said very quietly, 'if you ever wanna know how to keep a pollock busy again......just ask me'.


Anonymous said...

Lindy - when I lived in the states I worked with a lot of diabetics and we advised 2 things when checking your blood sugar. DOn't wipe your fingers with alcohol because it dries the skin and makes it tougher, just wash your hands with soap and water before pricking your finger. The other is to prick the sides of your finger and not the tips. Then they don't get quite as sore when you're carrying out daily activities.

That pollock story made me laff out loud! Hilarious!

Tammi said...

Ouch! That reminds me of my Granny.She had to prick her finger and give herself her own shots for diabetes.I had to literally leave the room.
Hey..that pollock joke is so freakin funny!!!

Walker said...

I am so going to use that joke the nextime I go over and the boys are stoned LOL

I have a number of friend who are diabetic.
Most have machine they use to draw and read the blood sigar levels and a few have these futuristic style vapourizers that they use to inject themselves with and they use any part of their body.
I don;t know if the ear would work though the lobe will look big on one ear.