Sunday, October 26, 2008

Shaking Hands With The Devil

our guide was a ninja complete with black outfit & mesh facemask. we couldn't make out his face but he assured us he was our friend & was there to protect us. he explained as we walked down the gravel path that this was a facility for the people condemned to life in prison..for the mentally insane. their crazyiness was contained within the walls of the cages that we would be privvy to. (actually we were in the kennells of the animal hospital) he went on to inform us that they couldn't reach us so we were quite safe but they would beg us to help be prepared.... and it was haunted by his former director that died while being tortured by the inmates after they captured him one evening. jammer was completely taken in. ixxie was a little uncertain but both were being very brave in the beginning. our guide lead us through tunnel after tunnel of inmates screaming & kicking to be released. they were wild haired, wild eyed with blood everywhere. some were jasons, some were wild haired women with missing limbs, some were knife weilding maniacs, some were killer clowns, one was cutting off his own leg to escape. there was strob lights everywhere & really dark corners where monsters & killers hid really well. that damn ninja that was supposed to guide us kept disappearing on me & everytime he did another scary, bloody thing came out of the dark to get us! at the end of some of the tunnels were surgeons with blood & meat everywhere that came after us telling us this was one of the people from the last group that came through. it was fabulous!!! the minute we walked through the gate jammer started screaming he didn't want to go through. ixxie too. they wanted to turn back & get the hell out of, well, HELL!!!
we waited for the hayride while michael myers made his way through the crowd. jammer noticed him coming up & attached to my leg like he was stink & i was shit. the killer stopped at ixxie while she was busy yapping at pappaw & when she finally glanced around she found herself eye to eye with him which totally scared the shit out of her. she nearly jumped over pappaw getting away from him. after he left she said, 'that was totally uncalled for!' she dressed as a witch.
jason climbed onto the trailer during the hayride & freaked everyone out as he slashed his knife throught the air. jammer saw him coming & said to me 'that scary man is coming, memaw save me'??? he dressed as ZORO
he made me stop as we got off the hayride to thank the driver & make friends with him. the driver shook his hand & gave him a high five telling him how brave he had been. i don't think he was really watching when jason came up to us. he missed jammer clawing my arm off.
as we walked back to the car jammer saw jason again & pulled away from me to stop & make friends with him. he said, 'dude, if you promise you won't kill anyone else tonight i'll be your friend'. everyone got a big kick out of that. jason told jammer he was safe & he really wanted to be his friend so he wouldn't make anymore corpses tonight.
wasn't that sweet of the psycho?


Walker said...

sounds like a fantastic time for everyone.
Mike Myers doesn;t scare me he's canadian :P

Tammi said...

How neat-o.
You are such a wonderful person.Terrific Gram,and Mom...the way you just beam over Jammers n Ixxie makes me wanna just come on over,kick my feet up and hang out with you guys for a week or two!!!
Well....maybe I would just stay a day or 2 so I don't wear out my