Sunday, January 18, 2009

Losing My Shit

i love my computer. i don't get as much chance these days as i used to sign in & do my surfing but that doesn't deter me. its still the most fantastic thing EVER to be invented. well, not counting things like electric toothbrushes, hair dyes & cardio paddles but still it ranks right up there with the best of inventions. i first started about 15 years ago on an old workstation that had a unix system on it. all i could do with it was enter stock information. it was a company computer & it didn't have internet access. the experience of having something so cool that made my work so much easier was fascinating to me. it made me want to learn more about it. thats about the time they started coming down in price & finally was cheap enough that people were buying them for personal use. my boss at the convenient store realized how much i loved being on the computer & invited me to stop by his house to check out his sons computer. well, let me tell you, i was thrilled! his son showed me how to sign on & surf the web and people, it was on!!! from then on i just couldn't get enough of the computer knowledge. i started checking out books at the library & every chance i got i visited jay, the kid with the computer, to show him what i learned. we fed off each other & before you knew it he had the most tricked out computer in the city! one day another friend stopped by & he was in a jam & needed to make some money fast. he was packing a....
hang on a minute while i take care of business. 'what do you want'? 'come to bed'. 'i'm waiting to take my medicine. i'll be in in a minute'.
if this thang darling man that i grudgingly lovingly refer to as hubby yells calls at me to 'come to bed' one more time i'm gonna smash nestle his obnoxioux face cute litte upturned nose into my big fat tits breasts & stop him from snoring permanently make him a happy man.
now where was i? oh yeah, the computer.
he was packing a compaq presario 4402 & needed a hundred bucks to pay his electric bill. i didn't want to seem too excited but for me it was a done deal. i went to the bank to get the money but made him go with me so he wouldn't be able to sell it out from under me before i got back. since that time i've cruised the internet to my hearts delight. i've bought programs, more memory & bigger hard drives eventually moving on to a better & newer computer. for every program you buy you have to sign up with some site to upgrade or get the latest news. if you want to lose weight, you have to sign up for that site. if you want to get email, you have to sign up for an account. have you noticed how every site you go to wants you to 'create an account'? just to name a few, i belong to blogger, plaxo, myspace, bebo, juno, hotmail, kodak, trellix, ebay, cincular, duke, lifelogger, & even martha fucking stewart (don't laugh, i love my cute little house) not to mention a few banks that i deal with. the list goes on & on. i've had so many accounts that i've forgotten about a lot of them until i see something that mentions the site & reminds me, oh yeah, i have an account there. hell, i even read a few blogs that insist you create an account with them so you can comment. which is why some of you don't hear from me anymore. i had to draw the line somewhere! well, to finally get to the point. i opened one of my bank sites last night & spent 2 hours trying to sign in! shit, damn, hell! what was my user name & password? 2 hours people! thats ridiculous! i know how ridiculous it is cos i have a cd getting ready to mature & i have to do something about it now or its gonna roll over for another fucking year. shit, damn, hell! i want that money now! as stupid as it is i've reached the point where i'm gonna have to start keeping a list of things to keep up with all of them. i know, i know! i'm asking for trouble but i have a lockbox that i can keep it in. its buried in the back yard & all i have to do is wait until after dark to go dig it up. right? wanna hear the funniest part of all this?


Anonymous said...

It's not my face that I want to nestle in your titties . I'll settle though .