Thursday, February 03, 2005

No, No and No

i'm reading through my favorite blogs tonight & i came across one that really put something into perspective for me. i mentioned to him that i may steal his idea so if you want to check out a really cool dad look here:
hubby & i have always tried to maintain a few rules of the house. one rule has always been 'no hitting'. that goes for the kids as well as the adults. we only spank when 'time outs' & 'talks' don't have the effect we seek. another rule is 'mind me first, ask questions later'. (not enforcing this one is why jammer is missing his top front baby tooth.) there's also the norm 'don't take toys from each other, don't throw things inside.' u know just standard rules.
with 4 kids, all under the age of 4, coming at u, sometimes, it's hard not to feel like u are constantly saying no. some weekends are worse than others depending on the kids moods. sometimes they seem hellbent on fighting, screaming, hitting, and taking toys from each other. sometimes it's all i can do to not just 'stop, drop dick & roll'. understand where i'm coming from here? i get overwhelmed. not easily but sometimes they try every ounce of my being.
lately, the no thing has been bothering me. i'm tired of saying no all the time.
so, i've actually allowed them to do somethings that I said no about just so I could point out (when it all goes wrong) that memaw doesn't do it to be mean but because it's whats best for them.
last weekend i witnessed a perfect example. jammer & i had to have a talk about this one cos i felt like he needed to understand.
all weekend i asked the kids not to run in the house. explaining each time the downfalls of doing this. the chances they were taking. the punishment that would entail. so many words, so little compromise. finally, ixxie fell & hit her head. as i'm checking her out & loving her up for her 'wreck' i'm explaining that if she had minded this wouldn't have happened. immediately what happens? jammer wrecked. yep, running into the room i'm in the process of saying 'what did ur sister just do?' when down he went. his response, 'meanie'. me, the meanie? how did that happen? how do u fall & i turn out to be the meanie?
well, frumdad made me realize that i'm always gonna be the meanie. someone has to teach them that sticking ur finger in a lite socket is a bad thing. that pulling hair & kicking other kids is not acceptable. that rules will always apply & u must adhere to rules. but now i don't feel so bad cos i know my rules are 'wrapped in love'.

but it's wrapped in love & that's all i'm about. loving those little ankle biting, rugrats i love to refer to as my aliens.


Rainex said...

I've got boys-love them without
question, however I doubt if
I'll ever understand them!