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Thursday, April 19, 2007

Eloquence

i married young the first time. i was so in love i didn't think anything about marrying that young. i was also pretty naive. 2 things i learned pretty soon after getting married...men want blow jobs & women are advised to kegel. i started the kegel exercise pretty soon but i hated the thought of the blow job thing. i explained to my mother what slick, my first husband, wanted & asked 'is slick a pervert'. she responded with 'is your father?' well, duh, if he wanted a blow job...hell yes! in my opinion! at 18! hell yes!! that was sick. that was disgusting. that...was gonna happen? my first sex talk & i was getting way too much information. she went on to explain that women kegeled to make sex better. for those of you that don't know what the kegel exercise is, miriam webster defines it as:
repetitive contractions by a woman of the pelvic muscles that control the flow in urination in order to strengthen these muscles especially to control or prevent incontinence or to enhance sexual responsiveness during intercourse.
mom actually pulled out a dictionary & read that to me. she also gave me pointers on blow jobs. yuck! at that point i wished i'd gotten a little more information before i took the marriage plunge. i caved & started doing what women did. to make their husband happy. didn't make me happy but it made him exuberant! anyway, after years of practice i now kegel without even realizing i'm doing it & mommy isn't here anymore. so, my whole point of this is can kegeling fuck with your bowel movement when you get older? just wondering at what point does a woman stop kegeling? for that matter when can we stop the blow job thing? too much information? yeah, i thought so. i need my mommy.
oh, come on people. lighten up. i've gotten a lot raunchier than this. just ask hubby. i've got a mouth that can make a sailor blush. that reminds me, when slick wanted to get that special treatment he would say, (and this is where his nickname came into play) 'awww, cumown baby, cumown.' he said this really fast but i knew it meant 'come on baby, come on'. i translated slicktalk really well. its not really fair to poke fun at a dead man is it? ok. i quit.
speaking of weddings, hubbys babybros wedding went pretty well. it was held in a residential home, her parents. i got lots of pics & the first thing babybro said to me, 'you match the wedding party, did you wear your bells?' i had my bells with me, unfortunately, the clasp had broken & i couldn't wear them. i shook my purse at him & jingled so he was happy.

i've been really sick. i have a bad cold with the sneezies, runny nose, chills & my ribs are sore from all the coughing. everytime i lay down i get this tickle in my throat that just won't stop. through the night i'm averaging about 3 hours sleep. the rest of the time i'm tossing, turning & coughing. it sucks to be me right now.
speaking of, here is a before of the wedding & since i don't drink & drive its the after too.



oh, you might wanna see hubby too.

so here is steiner.......this is a during.






and i thought i'd introduce you to
mr. & mrs. babybro.....
nice looking couple don't you think?
k..gotta go.
i've got to take some meds. i'm going to the doctor on wednesday. hopefully, i feel better soon.
later.

4 comments:

Rainex said...

You look nice Lindy,
like a naughty big
sister (with a filthy
mouth!)
Sex is so funny when you
are young isn't it?
Funny as in peculiar-I
started to really enjoy
sex from about 21, before
that I either acted like
a porn star or was shit
scared! Lol!!

Walker said...

You look great Lindy and not PURPLE.
My fisrt ex who I was with for almost 20 years hooked up with me whne i was 15.
Blowjob Pleasde she almost fainted the first time she tounch my cock and it was in the dark.
It took almost 8 yea5rs before she got it in her mouth and hated it then.
Liked getting her pussy chewed on all day if she could talk me into it and it didnt take much.
My seciond ex was a sick wench "sigh"
Mt last GF was great in bed but BJ was a monkey on some show LOL.

I guess with age and experience you learn what you like and not like and you shouldnt have to do what you want.
It makes for better sex.
I know a couple in ther 80s that still go at it so I dont think you are supposed to stop the kegeling lol

Have a nice day

Etoile Tyler said...

Hello there beautiful! This post made me laugh, it's funny the things we learn about men isn't it?

ML said...

You look just like I imagined actually - just with shorter, lighter hair!

Blowjobs are funny.. I don't mind it but I have to be in the right mood to bother!