The Graduate

my favorite grandson graduated from kindergarten this week. i bought him a card that congratulated him on his graduation. isn't that the cutest pic? he was so thrilled with himself he couldn't stop with the cheesy smile. he told me he got a 'diploma for graduatin & he got to keep his hat & gown & he won a lot of awards for being so smart & fast'. i love it that he likes school. he loves to learn & he's so excited about learning to read that he tries to spell everything these days. nowhere close to correctly but at least he's trying. he knew his abc's before he started so that was a plus. he learned how to write his name quickly. i'm not just talking his first name either...i mean his whole name & loves to recite the spelling to you as many times in a day as he can. he'd still rather slip on a shoe with a velcro then tie a shoelace though. and he's not so good at drawing. as you can see here with the man watching ducks. this is how he draws all his people & he doesn't have the time to sit & draw a flower or a tree. his dogs, houses & cars are all just a bunch of squares with either stick legs, crooked chimneys or oblong circle tires. i'm not sure but i don't think he'll ever acquire his mommy & daddys talent for drawing. thats ok. at least his man has 5 fingers on one hand, 2 eyes & 2 feet. i mean what else do you want? besides his imagination for watching ducks goes wayyy beyond what he draws. cos, like me, i guess you've noticed there is no ducks in the picture & i'd really like to know what the balloon above the man is supposed to say. i know, maybe he'll be a story teller instead. like me. he does do his best work while flapping his gums.

later.

weirdie mcweirdness

we 're both still dealing with dr. appt for now. i'm on my 3rd of 4 b12 shots & hubby has his stress test scheduled for june 11. i go back for another blood test on the 12th. i've been sticking my finger with a lance for a week now & my blood sugar reading is always around 125. which is slightly high but only slightly. i need to lose at least 20 pounds in the next few months or this friggin dr. is gonna make me quit smoking. i heard about a new medication out that makes it really easy & i'm thinking lose weight first...quit smoking next. theres just no way i can do both at once. hmm, maybe i should start eating my cigarettes. i still get my nicotine & cigarettes can't be very fattening. right? does anybody know the calorie content of a cigarette? i think i'll google that in the near future. as crazy as it sounds you know someone has probaby figured it out.
oh yeah, i hate mechanics btw. i think i should open a mechanic shop. i'll have nothing but women working for me. yeah, we can have men to do the heavy lifting but nothing but women for consulting about your car. i really think i'm onto something here. actually, i don't think i really need men for lifting. there are tools out there that make lifting anything heavy a breeze. it'll cost me a little extra to get it up & running but think of all the women that would come from miles around to have an honest explanation as to what might be wrong with their car. i'll advertise it as the 'no bull just babes' on car therapy. i went directly from work to have the shop check out why my car was shimmying, thumping & shifting hard. hubby wasn't with me. these guys tried to persuade me that it was the new pieces trying to work with the old parts that still needed to be replaced. i mean, what does a new transmission have to mesh with to not shift hard? it is the shifter, right? it either shifts hard or it doesn't. in an automatic car? ok, maybe they know something i don't. then they told me i had a bad tire. they couldn't tell me which one it was. they checked them all out but found nothing to show me was bad about the tires. they are a year old. maybe thats it. year old tires won't work with a new transmission. next they pointed out that i probably needed new motor mounts. huh? a new transmission needs new motor mounts to help it shift smooth? ok. i'm a woman. do i need a new motor with my new transmission cos wouldn't it be easier to just buy a new car? that'll help the shifting be a little smoother, right? you know what i did? i bought a chiltons car manuel. now, by golly, i've got all the diagrams & instructions to just do it my fucking self. motor mounts & newer tires my big, fat lady ass. i was like, ok, guys, just give me one good reason & i won't snicker at your little dicks. so, they finally said, maybe bushings. now, keep in mind the car didn't drive bad with the old transmission, it just leaked, but yes, i will accept that a new transmission needs new bushings. that one i'll buy. and change myself. thank you $818.86 very much. anyway, i'm taking applications for my new auto shop. females only need apply. some knowledge of cars will be necassary. no college degrees needed. cos, women are better bullshitters.
later.

Holding My Breath

& back to the grindstone on tuesday which was a busy, busy day. before i got home from work little sis, lucky, had called to talk to me. her & her friend, roomie had visited last weekend so i didn't think twice about the phone call. until she called back & i heard her voice. she was scared & you could hear it when she talked. my heart jumped into my throat. she told me that she had to be rushed to the hospital on sunday. something in her middle hurt so bad it doubled her over. the hospital took some scans & found a mass in her abdomen. they recommended she see a doctor as soon as possible, gave her some pain killers & sent her on her way. i can't believe the way some hospitals treat people without health insurance. if that had been me they'd have checked me in immediately & started every unnecessary treatment in the world. but i have insurance. she just started a new job & her insurance hasn't kicked in yet. she went to the dr. & he explained that she had a cyst on her oviary that would need to be removed & biopsied before they could tell her anything else. she was recommended to a specialist. the specialist felt around & took some more scans & told her she had 2 cysts. one the size of a tennis ball on her oviaries & another the size of a grapefruit on her uterus. lucky is a little girl. she only weighs about 125 lbs. soaking wet. if these things are that big she probably only weighs about 100 lbs & 25 lbs are masses growing inside of her. the doctor told her these masses are smashing all her other organs & not giving them room to function properly. that explains alot. she looks enimic & has no energy all the time. we've been worried about her for years but she insisted she was fine, just needed more rest. and i thought diabetes was the worst thing in my life. if this turns out to be cancerous...
i can't even finish that thought. right now i'm trying to keep a positive attitude & feed her regularly. she's concentrating on working & trying to keep her mind off of this until she gets the operation.
pray for her.
later.

Fun And A Shoebox

the fun just never ends here at alien nation. i took today off to take the car in for her upgrade. remember the new tranny & axle? we dropped her off at 8am & finally picked her up at 6pm. they took her for a test drive & everything seemed ok but when we were coming home she was shifting kinda rough. theres also a bad shimmy when you hit about 35 to 40. the shop was already closed, like as soon as we were pulling out they were locking up. so, hubby gets to call in the morning & see when we can bring it back in for them to find out what the problem is. i have to go to work the rest of this week. i also have to be able to get to the doctors for that b12 shot i mentioned. i guess i'll just see how the week plays out as to when they can take me & more important when i can make it.
i stayed up a little late last night & finally got our scanner hooked up & running. yayyy, for me!!! now i can show you everything from the beginning of my garden back in 1998 to a pic of my grandpa found in an old write-up in a redneck paper from the downhome boonies.
i think my next project will be opening a flickr account. i've got a 250 gig hard drive but damn, we're talking about a lot of pics. i don't want all that on my hard drive. the dialup connection is bad enough. i'm still in search of a 130 gig to put in as a 2nd hard drive & then i think i'll be done with my computer for awhile. lets be honest, you're never really truly done with upgrades when it comes to a computer. i've been on ebay & found a few prospects. i just haven't had time to watch any bidding & if you really want something off ebay you need to monitor that shit.
for now, i'm gonna get off & start looking through my pics. i have 14 photo albums already put together but i haven't invested in an album in like, 10 years, so the bulk of my pics are stored in shoe boxes. if i find a decent sale on albums i'll snatch them up for organizing. reminiscing is in my nearest future.
later

Hell Week

i took a vacation this week. i really wanted to get things done around the house but honestly, i've spent most of my time out of the house. not due to my choice either. i made plans to get all the paints i wanted by the weekend. i ended up taking my car to a shop & having it diagnosed.
she was sick. turned out i had to have my transmission replaced & a front axle. which they couldn't do until they got a transmission. they hoped that would be by monday, of next week.
because of that we decided in the meantime to do some car shopping & maybe just go with a new car. that didn't work either. we really only had about $3000.00 to work with if we wanted to just outright buy a car. and i really didn't want payments. we're just barely making it without a car payment. we shopped all day up & down the car dealers strips & couldn't find anything under $5000.00 that was worth having. that was 2 days of my vacation shot to hell. i spent 3 of my days in the doctors office. oh, btw, i'm diabetes 2 & i have a vitamin b12 defiency. i have to start taking my blood sugar readings for the diabetes by sticking my finger everyday. oh goody & joy--joy. but doc holiday says we caught it in the early stages so hopefully, we'll be able to manage it without a shot every day. just the right meds & keep an eye on it. also, he wants me to have a b12 shot once a week for a month then a regiment of b12 tablets should control that too. i'm not allowed to drink & he wants me to quit smoking. why is it the more people harp on me about smoking the more trouble i have quitting? is that just hard headedness? i've wanted to quit for the better part of this year but as soon as they said i have to quit the less i wanted to.
i did get some shopping done. we bought the paint we needed to do the bathroom & bedroom. i found some material to make me some new skirts. we also picked up some stain for the living room furniture. we bought a futon for the living room but it didn't match the rest of the furniture. it will now. i still want a new tv. i'm not giving that up for anything. our wedding anniversary is on the 23rd. that'll be our gift to ourselves. we talked about a divorce but that just isn't in the budget for now. well, i guess i could go the do it yourself package but that just sounds like too much trouble to me. maybe if i have to quit drinking he'll be sympathetic & quit with me. not bloody likely but anything is possible.
thats the report for this week. the vacation week. that was supposed to be enjoyable but turned into the week from hell. hope you've had a better one.
thanks for checking in.
later.

Happy Mothers Day In 08

happy mothers day to all you who are mothers. and fathers that fit the bill too.
ixxies' birthday was on friday so we did a party for her today instead of mothers day. lucky me. i did finally get a 'happy mothers day' at 5:30 this evening. when sonny got here. thats when everyone else looked at me & said, 'oh yeah, happy mothers day'. i've officially given up my rights to mothers day. now, all i have is grandparents day & that i get to share with pappaw.
i feel cheated. now who's being overly sensitive? self centered bitch that i am.
i stepped out of my self wallowing long enough to call my stepmom.
seriously, i was really so busy with getting ixxies birthday together & my car worked on that i didn't really think about my mothers day until sonny showed up. thats when it dawned on me too. but he bought me a planter with about 3 different plants in it & a card that was so fitting to our years that i'll treasure it forever.
he's the bestest son in the whole wide world.
hope you all had a wonderful day. i'll post pics later.
xoox, night for now.
later.

Cheers Dears

just a few more days till we both go to doc holiday & get our fixes for another few good years. hubby is already on heart medication but it doesn't seem to be doing the trick lately. for 2 weeks now he's been having alot of trouble catching his breath & his heart has been periodically racing. of course, i've been to webmd & found that these are a few symptoms of an oncoming heart attack. coupled with the fact that he's been sweating profusely & very, very sensitive to almost everything i've been holding my breath for this doctors appointment just praying that he didn't have heart failure before monday. i'll let you know what the doctor says when we get back.
i've caught up with my friend the mechanic & hopefully, he'll get the car under control for me. that'll be a ton off my mind. well, that & the doctors appointment so, technically 2 tons.
so, i'm having a drink or two (well, to be honest a lot more) & letting things go for tonight. tomorrow will bring everything back in full force.
including the headache i'm expecting.
later

Take Me Out To The Ballgame

because of my car i officially became a bad aunt today. my nephew is a senior in high school & hoping to go to college on a baseball scholarship. although, he's had over 60 offers for football scholarships he's holding out for that one special offer. i'm not sure why he wants a baseball scholarship. hubby says its because baseball is a much easier game. but this kid rocks at any sport he plays. i'm sure if i asked he'd fill me in on the details but whenever i see him theres always so many people around that i never get a chance to just sit down & have a one on one with him.
i meant to go to one of his last pitching games today but my car has been overheating & i climbed into that bitch, started her up & headed home so automatically, worrying about making it without blowing up my motor, that i completely forgot to go to his game. i have one more chance to redeem myself & come hell or high water, even if i have to walk to his game, i will go root him on. sorry, coach, i do love you & i'm pulling for you to get that baseball scholarship!! i will be at the game on monday cheering you on & hugging you up when its all over.
damn car.
later.

Bite Me Cos Life Is A Bitch

i know i sound like a bitch to some of you but i thought just to let you in on what i'm dealing with maybe you'd at least have an opinion. tell me if i'm a bitch or if you see where i'm coming from. am i being over expectant? am i asking things from him that he shouldn't be accountable for? or are these things just something that the man of the home should take care of without being prompted?
for starters he worked at the same place i worked. they made acceptions for him so he could ride with me & our hours were the same. then an asswipe took over his department & changed his hours but i agreed to do whatever it took to accomodate his hours. no big deal. the way they change supervisors i didn't think it would last long & we would be back on our joint schedule. instead of working with the new supervisor he took it upon himself to just up & quit. although we discussed how we could work this out...he just quit. you can't draw unemployment for a job you quit. stupid? or not? ok. so here he sits at home, drinking himself silly. he had a seizure in 2006 (brought on by his alcohol). so he can't drive himself. our doctor won't allow that. so now, lucky hubby gets to stay at home. no income. no job. well, ok. i really wish i could get to sit at home but that doesn't seem to be my luck. after all, you have to have someone to support you to get to sit at home. turns out he's the one that gets that priviledge. (damn, why didn't i become a drunk?)
i mentioned, oh, about 2 years ago, that we had a water leak under our home that was costing us cos we not only had to pay for the water leak but its in the hot water hose so we pay for the heated water to leak onto our patio. also we have a leak in the roof so when it rains i sit on the toilet with rain dripping down my back. our bedroom floor needs replacing due to a leaky water bed (from years ago). we have 2 outlets that have been removed & not replaced. he just cut them out of the wall. although we have the plugins to replace them, he hasn't bothered.
the car needs work. lots of work. its overheating right now & we aren't sure why. i pull into the driveway & ask him to check it out but so far he's just unscrewed the radiator top which unleashes the heat & you can't tell then where the problem is at that point. of couse, my common sense tells me he doesn't care where the problem is. just like he doesn't care about anything else.
kiss my ass!!!! sometime this next week, i'm filing for divorce. seriously, check back soon & see for yourself.
i'll be fixing my car all by myself. a chiltons book tells you exactly how to fix anything that needs fixing. thats my next purchase. the rest of the problems, believe me, i can take care of.
he is a high school graduate. he went to college. he's an intellegent man. and he seriously thinks i'm gonna support him. THINK AGAIN...BIG BOY!
This ain't happening.
later

Stepping Up

well, i'm right back to only getting to update on weekends...sundays to be more precise. i have dial up so it takes me 2 minutes & 53 seconds to sign on. at least!!! then when i click to open blogger it takes 2 minutes & 27 seconds to open & god forbid i can't think how to spell a word cos that takes another 53 seconds to just open my dictionary. thats not taking into consideration the time it takes to bring up the word i want to spell check. jeez, could i be any slower. and i don't want to mention the drunker i get the slower i type so .... can someone else do the math on that cos i get lost. i'm working with a pentium 4 but my computer only has 2 slots for memory that accepts up to 256 bytes of memory. such a stupid limit. whoever thought that one up really screwed up. two things i want to invest in with our rebate income tax is a new computer & a new tv. i'll probably build my own computer with the newer options but the tv i have to depend on someone elses expertise. if anyone has any suggestions i'm open for them. i'm not looking to waste my money....just spend the shit out of it right now for things i want.
i have to save the money to buy a divorce packet. i don't have to go through a lawyer cos they sell packets right on the internet or i can pick one up at 'staples'. it's just gonna cost me 80.00 bucks for the packet & then again for every filing i have to do. including removing hubby from the home. you have to know he's not just gonna walk away. would you? he quit his job that i drove him to & now just gets to sit at home & decide whether or not he wants to work in his dads garden or sit at home to play on the computer.
i'm gonna be honest about all that. i could live with hubby for the rest of my life & just let it all go but seriously, i'm sick to death of being the keeper. i don't want to be the only one that makes all the money & makes sure all the bills are paid, i don't want to be the only one that makes sure the car is running right, i don't want to be the only one that makes sure the house has no leaks or the yard is mowed. i'm sick of being the only one that cares about anything & everything. i'm also sick of his huffing & puffing that makes me feel like i have to just fucking be the bbbaaabbbbyysittterr. i don't want to be a fucking babysitter. i want (HELLO) a mate to be my equal. my MAN to know what needs to be taken care of & not someone i have to beg to step up to the plate & just HELP. do your part. be a man. quit fucking taking advantage. i didn't marry a kid that i needed to raise.... i thought i married a man..... to be there for me.....my better half.... boy, have i learned.
later.