Oh No She Di-int

you know what i like to see? that bitch that giggles about the snow, while standing inside the warm news room, standing out in the snow on the street corner reporting the bitter freeezzzinnngg cold while her lips are turning blue & her teeth are chattering so hard she can

hardly report!!! yeah, you ain't giggling now, are you by-otch? she was about to make me go postal on her skinny giggling ass until i saw her shivering out there. i'm still not over it but i guess i am feeling a little empathy for her. i guess. it helps to know how bad it sucks to be the news reporter thats low man on the totem pole. yeah, i've almost talked myself out of hating her so bad. maybe i won't go postal on her but damn, if she giggles again while i'm driving that hour in the ice & snow not being able to see more than a few feet in front of me i think i'll run over her the next time i do see her standing on the street corner.
i left work early cos it was supposed to get so bad & around here when they say its gonna get bad fast they mean run..don't walk..do not pass go..do not collect $200.00..get in a hurry up mode & get the fuck home. i stopped at a light & literally watched this cloud of ugly travel up the river in front of me.

by the time the light changed &

i made my left turn

it was crossing the street

and looking more like

i might be screwed.

i have this huge twisting snake like hill that i have to travel up to get home. that road is only 2 lanes with deep embankments on each side.

this is what i saw when i
made that left. the road
wasn't too bad yet but
this was coming down
really hard & fast with very little traffic
traveling up & down the
roads it wasn't gonna take
long to get nasty.

visibility was almost nil at this point.

by the time i got to the highway nothing was getting any better. you can't tell it but that film you see on the road was frozen ice & we were only traveling about 30 miles an hour.

at this point i was about half way home. it took me 50 minutes to get here & normally i should be almost home after 50 minutes of travel time. when i got to the road that i turn up. (the snakey one) there was an accident involving 3 cars. we had to work our way back out into the traffic to get around that to make the turn for the last leg of the fiasco. i stopped taking pics at this point. i needed both hands to manipulate those friggin hills & ss's. besides i didn't want to wind up rear-ending someone. so giggle much at the snow little miss reporter girl? i don't think so.

later

Pleasantly Surprised

what does cherry do when i pour fuel injector cleaner straight down her puss? that bitch choked a few times, coughed about a dozen times, puked 2 or 3 times then died! i mean died as in no life, no turnover, no crank at all. i sat in the parking lot for about 20 minutes letting her take it all in thinking what in the hell do i do now? i could have called roadside assistance so i wasn't stuck but i hated to have her towed all the way home. so, i tried her one last time. she cranked, she started, she sat there and idled like a champ. i was almost afraid to put her in gear thinking this is all a ruse. she's tricking me. i gave her gas a few times & she purred like a kitten so i put her in gear & all that stupidness of the last few weeks were forgotten. (she's a forgiving bitch). she's ran great ever since with no after effect at all...isn't that nice to know? slap her around & show her who's boss & she rolls over & gives you her loyalty again. i still hate cars. i'd rather ride a horse. a really tame horse though, cos i don't think i could take getting bucked off a 16 hand horse anymore. that shit bout killed me the last time.
we had jammers birthday party today. tonight actually. i love my big guy & his gullibility. i had him convinced all day that the preparations were for lucky. he really had no clue. her birthday is tomorrow so he practised singing the birthday song all day so he wouldn't mess it up for her. when i called him out & he saw this he was flabbergasted.

'memaw, you tricked me'

'yep, are you surprised'

'yes, i am. did i get presents'

'look behind you on the chair'

total look of awe.

'oh memaw, i love you sooo much. thank you papaw, thank you memaw. can i open them now'
we had a great time. everybody played with his toys & snacked on hanky panks first then ate chicken & dumplings for dinner. followed up with cake & ice cream.

in the end we all hugged up for a pic together.

all in all it was a great day. lucky is on the left & she was surprised cos she just thought she was coming for a party for jammer.
jammer was surprised cos he thought he was celebrating luckys' birthday & as you can see (inadvertantly) everybody just wished ixxie would shut up cos she just about blew every surprise we had planned. seriously, i think from now on when i'm trying to plan a surprise...i'll stick a sock in her mouth & tape it there.
later,
little taters

Mechanical Malfunctions

its been a very wet & cold nasty season around here. one day its snowing 3-6 inches & the next day its raining a couple inches with sleet & hail in between. maybe mother nature needs to get off the rag. makes for some really hairy driving & you all know how i feel about driving in this shit. not to mention the colds, sneezing & achiness that goes along with the constant weather change. as a matter of fact its been so bad that i think my car has even caught a bug from all the inclement weather. namely, her brain boxes have lost all control. what would you think? just recently some of her symptoms have gone from locking up to not locking at all. lights that work one time not working the next. windshield cleaners that work after you shut the car off. weird. thats all i can say is just weird. check this out…used to be when i hit a certain speed my car doors would lock automatically. lately, when i open the door & the interior light comes on…the doors lock. not in motion yet…that shouldn’t be happening. its also not a good idea when i get out of the car & the light comes on. i locked myself out a few times when it first started happening. you know first thing in the morning you fire up the car to warm it up & not realize the damn door locked behind you getting out. remember, the cars running. where are the keys? right, if you answered in the ignition. ok, no biggie. everyone has an extra key, right? RIGHT? nope, not me. i glued that fucking light button down in the door as soon as i got home from work. that isn’t gonna happen again anytime soon. super glue eventually wears out. right? and hey, i could’ve used duct tape! well, when the locking situation got under some kind of control the next thing was the windshield cleaning button. normally i push this button & the window washer fluid shoots up the windshield & half way across the roof while the wipers do a 2 swipe scan across the windshield. which was really cool considering all the big rigs that throw all that slushie crap all over. my car looks like a nasty turd with the dried white crust all over the outside of it. last wednesday i pushed the button for my windshield cleaner & i got nothing. no cleaner shooting up, no wipers crossing the windshield. nothing, zip, nada, NOTHING! i turned the wipers on & they were fine but no fluid. what the crap? i can just barely see out of the shitty windshield & now it decides not to work. ok, maybe it was frozen. i know windshield fluid is not supposed to freeze but with the windchill factors we were having some pretty cold days so, maybe?? when i turned my car off after i got to work & didn’t need to see where the fuck i was going anymore. you guessed it, the windshield cleaner shot up & the wipers kicked on. eureka! i could see again. hey, even from the outside in. we’re going into the flooding season. everyone stay tuned for what the bug does in the water. i can’t wait to see what the next development will be. who knows? maybe she’ll float. if she flies…i quit driving.
later.

Valentines Day

i'm 51 years old. i work every day of my life. even if i don't work i get paid for it which is really a good thing. although i have to take a pto day to get that pay at least i'm allowed that convenience. i don't understand a 2 party family that each won't make an effort to bring in their part. honey is one. i just don't understand where this woman gets off thinking she doesn't owe it to their family to contribute her part. one person on their own can pull it off but if you are a 2 parent family, with kids, it takes at least 2 incomes to make ends meet. to have anything. one person, making realllly good money can cover themself & have a decent living. 2 people with kids and only one income is just someone (sonny) pounding their head against a wall. what really kills me is sonny supports her & her daughter & his son but she refuses to get a job to help out. after jammer started school the plan was that she would get a job but in the end her statement was, 'i am NOT getting a job. thats the bottom line'. its just not fair to sonny for him to be sole provider.
in my case, i feel the same about hubby and he will agree with me that its not fair for me to support him but he won't get a job either. how does he live with himself & not have an income? how does he sit at home every day knowing that i'm the bread winnner of our home? that he makes no monetary contribution? with no viable reason for his decision? i don't know & he can't give me a reasonable answer. every week, at least once a week, i pose this question to hubby. still every week i'm met with silence.
i've offered every option to help rectify this situation. i've given him every chance to step up.
my only choice of action is divorce. if i file for divorce he'll have no choice but to go to work simply because nobody else is gonna be there to support him. yes, he can go back & live at his parents home but still they aren't going to support his habits et: his cigarettes, his alcohol, his willingness to sit at home & let someone else support him. what will be his option but to get a job & support those habits?
in our AA meetings they called me an enabler. they dogged me because i was the one that paid the bills & allowed him to sit at home & not be responsible. it didn't matter to those people that i still needed a home, food, transportation, heat or electricity...by supplying myself i was supplying him thus i was an enabler. they made me cry everytime i walked into those meetings. they made me feel like shit. i hated myself everytime i attended a meeting. they didn't care about me that was trying to be an upstanding citizen. he didn't speak up for me in those meetings. he just sat back & reveled that i was the bad guy for supplying all the necessaties. it was all my fault that he drank obsessively. i hated going to those meetings but i did to help him. it didn't help him. it only made me feel like a piece of shit. for the most part he walked down to the carryout, bought a bottle & had a buzz before we even went to the meetings. vodka can't be smelled so i sat there being attacked while he sat there in oblivion about all that was going on. he finished his program with flying colors & i kept feeling like the piece of shit i was for supporting him.
tomorrow is 'valentines day'. a day of appreciation for the one you love & god knows i have to give him something. i bought him a shitload of candy & i'm gonna print him a card that i've designed myself. since covering his face with a pillow has never worked...this year i think maybe i'll go for a super load of sugar. something has to got to get my point across.
happy valentines day to all those new lovers out there.
later.

Aging With Dignity

about 3 weeks ago i had hubby color my hair. how cool is that? i save hundreds of dollars a year by having hubby do my hair color for me. of course, i've only done this a total of 3 times in my 51 years, how close to hundreds could i really be? i usually use a color pretty close to my natural color. i'm not grey enough to really worry about it except right around my face. due to vanity i can't stand looking at me with white showing up right in the front. why couldn't it have started in the back or the underside for crying out loud? noooo, not me. i have to start right in the very front of my head. where everybody sees right off the bat that i'm getting old. my dad was totally white by the time he was 35 & telling me i was making him old. not fair considering he fucked around on my mom when I was younger & my step mom the rest of the years. me, making him grey, doubtful, his lifestyle makes more sense to me. you just can't keep leading a double life trying not to get caught without getting a few grey hairs. my mom on the other hand still wasn’t that grey when she died. yes, she used to darken her hair when she was younger but only cos she didn’t like the mousey brown of her hair & preferred black. my younger sister on the other hand has gone quite grey & when she colors her hair using a light ash brown it makes her look almost blond. i’ve gotten tired of fighting the white showing through so i thought i’d go with a golden blond. i assumed that would, more than anything, streak the grey & maybe give the rest of my hair some umpfff. what i didn’t count on was the over all red tint i got. yeah, i got the streaks but hell no i didn’t want the rest of my head to look red.
i went to work with my new hair color. figuring what the hell it’ll grow out. do you know not one person even noticed? i saw honey & sonny on the weekend. neither one of them noticed. the next weekend was superbowl & i had a housefull of people….not a word. finally this past weekend sonny looked at me & asked what i did to my hair. 'it looks blond?' finally!!!! every one in the house noticed my hair was different but now the asses couldn’t decide on just what color it was.
what have i done? i’d post pics but have you ever tried to take a pic of yourself? it just ain’t happening people. i’ve tried for days to take a decent pic but i keep missing myself. i’ve tried using timers or just holding the camera & i wind up getting just the top of my head or my ears. or nothing at all. as soon as i get a pic of me that shows the new hair color i’ll put them up. until then, keep guessing.
later.

Comment Whore?

you'll notice i've added some new abductees on my sidebar. in my lurking i've noticed on so many sites they have the same people i read in the sidebar. i've been thinking 'wow, even the world wide web is really still just a small, small world' because HELLO, how weird is it to constantly be finding sites i love to read but never mentioned. most of them i've never even commented on. for the most part i've had them saved in favorites until i finally got my lazy ass around to adding them on my links section. one of the weirdest things was during surfing the comments lately i found my brother in laws comment on a site i've been reading for years. hell, i didn't even know this b-i-l had a blog. i'm just always amazed at how little i really know. cos lets face it, i am all knowing, or so i believe. believed. until my latest revelation. other people like to read great sites & most of them aren't as lazy as i am taking the time to link them. so i thought it was time to get off my lazy ass & jump on the link train. thats not all of the ones i have saved in my favorites but after 2 hours of copying, pasting links & filling in tags i hit enter to submit them only to have my asshole isp lose the server. shit-shit-shit. see why i don't bother? my muscle in my mousing arm is sore & i was looking at having to do it all over again. i wanted to cry but i saved the day by leaving that page open while i shut down everything else & signed in again. for a change that actually worked for me & i didn't have to enter all that stuff again but my all knowing self said, 'self, don't push your luck'. i'll quit for now but in the near future look for lots new sites added. i could cruise the internet for hours when i get on here just with the crap i have saved. no wonder my pc is so friggin slow. i have it soooo full it needs to burp.
i have to wonder, though, where are all the commenters? walker is great. he's always there with a funny comment or a thoughtful word. but for the most part i check my counter & see lots of people that have come by & never mentioned they were here. i'm a comment whore as in i want some. lots actually. i'll do yours if you do mine. thats a promise. one guy had commented that i didn't use enough pics so i started adding pics. got a piece of advise for me? mention it, maybe its something i haven't thought of. i need input before i go stark raving mad. i lost my counter for awhile cos it drove me crazy to know that those people stopped by but never said anything. then it drove me crazier not having the counter so i added it back in. am i neurotic? i might just be but you'll never know until you comment will you? come on people, give me some shit. tell me i'm lame, painful or excrutiatingly boring but tell me something for crying out loud. i've got an idea for a new icon. you can copy & post this if nothing else.

what do ya think? cool? so go ahead & use it. btw, does it look like a bomb to you? thats what i was going for anyway.

later.

Diagnosis

hubby has had some very bad news. his dad has been diagnosed with cancer. so far they've detected it in his back. i'm not sure how extensive it is but he is currently undergoing chemo & i guess radiation is the next step. about 3 years ago they found a dark spot on his lungs & he went in to have it removed & biopsied. that turned out to be just a fatty mass but he was told he needed to quit smoking then. at that time we all assumed he did quit but apparently NOT. cos over the last few years he's been smoking when he was with the boys outside. and i guess when he was in the car. he hasn't smoked in front of me & i guess he hasn't let mum in on the secret but everyone knows he's still been at it. so please, lots of prayers, crossed fingers & good karma sent out for his full recovery. i know it doesn't sound good when its been found in your back. (thats the info i've been given) but it never hurts to keep the faith. i worry for mum too. whatever will she do if something happens to dad? she's a tough woman but she depends on him & she loves him so intensely that it shows on her face when she even looks at him. they've been married for 49 years & we hope to have a great 50th party for them in september. that had been decided by the kids before we got this awful news. i've suggested 2 goldfish in a bowl but i don't know if that'll fly. you know, memories, if he doesn't make it very long. at this point we're not sure we'll even be able to have a party. he's very weak right now & he's on so many medications that he spends most of his day sleeping. only time will tell. god bless all that have endured this kind of tragic news. god bless dad & mum.
later.

And The Beat Goes On

can someone please explain to me why my house looks like it puked up hannah montana, bratz & sparkles all over the place? now i know why i never wanted a little girl. theres just too much junk up in her space. 3 females having to have all the crap that says girlie girl will be the death of me. they all have to have the same thing. they all want to sparkle up everything. so everywhere i look i have 3 of the same thing done different to match the 3 different personalities of my girls. i can't have one put up a poster unless all 3 gets the same priviledge. i can't put ones hair up without doing all 3 & god forbid i even contemplate putting lipstick on someone. NO WAY will that ever fly! between lipstick & finger nail polish its a constant battle over who gets what color & how thick they get to layer it on. don't ever think its that easy either. each one has to have a choice of colors that takes forever to pick from. no wonder i'm gray. waiting on these 3 girls to pick & choose is like pulling my fingernails off with tweezers. its slow torture for me. poor jammer doesn't even get into the mix. if he looks at me with a gleam in his eye that might suggest he wants some attention these girls lose their fucking minds. its all about them, its unsharing & if you think for one minute you might move in on their territory you may die!!
and come on....hannah montana/smiley/miley/destiny dawn cyrus? pleeeeaaaase, pick one. whoever had sooooo many names. what are these little girls being taught? who are they looking up to? the jamie lynns & the han-smil-dests of of the world? jamie lynn is pregnant & han-smil-dest is sporting pictures of her underware all over the internet. it just all makes me sick to death. ixxie is singing 'irreplaceable' by beyonce. i'm thinking what does this kid know about 'Standing in the front yard, telling me How I'm such a fool, talking 'bout How I'll never ever find a man like you You got me twisted' but she knows every single word. freaks me the fuck out. i won't even turn on a radio with her in the same room. i don't want to know that 7 year olds are this far ahead of their time.
whatever happened to 'puff the magic dragon' or 'mickey mouse'? you know, the good ole days? when children knew children songs & didn't imagine themselves kicking their man out?
please people donate hair color. i can't take anymore.
later.

Numb3rs

rule number 1: never go anywhere, do anything, think even...without my camera. i hate missing the coolest pics & not being able to share them with you, my friends. see that little white dot i circled? thats a big ole hunk of toilet paper & when i went to get my camera there was a squirrell fighting with it. he was dragging it but it was raining & wet & it stuck to him everywhere he touched it. hilarious but you had to be there to appreciate it now cos when i got back with my camera the shit paper was still there & the squirrell had finally separated himself from the the wet sticky ball.
rule number 2: people we have to talk about the shows that are on these days. i mean, the new 'terminator'? holy shit! how awesome is this? my favorite line of the century is when he says, 'i call shotgun' and his android protecter says, 'i call 9 millimeter'. great line. i laughed so hard i bout fell off the couch. and 'american idol' this year has got to be hot. hot singing & HOT contestants cos nothing less will do. this writers strike has got to end soon cos i'm missing '24' & 'supernatural' needs some new material. i can only watch jenson ackles do the same scenes so many times.
rule number 3: no more wrestling when i'm drinking. me & wrestling just don't mix with yag. by the end of the night i have hubby down in a power head lock to die for. and he almost did.
rule number 4: i have to drink more water & get my ass on that treadmill every night. its not doing me any good sitting in the middle of the floor. hell, jammer thinks its his new toy.
enough with the rules for now. how about punxsutawney phil seeing his shadow? again? who's bright idea was it to drag a poor sleeping groundhog out of a hole in the middle of his hibernation with a gazillion lights on him & proclaim he sees his shadow? unless your blind, hell yes, you're gonna see a shadow. if he could talk he'd tell you he sees spots too. does that mean a shorter year? cheese & rice people are we all idiots? i wish just one time he'd attack that stupid crowd that gathers to torture that poor animal. him & his den of little phils just go after them all like stink on shit! bet that would stop those fools from aggravating that poor little guy for some crazy obsession. its the middle of winter. yes, we are still going to have 6 weeks of winter. thats whats left!!!!
thats all too for the bitching tonight. wrestling is on & i haven't put hubby in his beloved head lock yet. i don't want him to feel neglected.
later.

Unplanned Things

sonny & honey just left. my cv boot is fixed & all is good in my world right now. thats not speaking for tomorrow. (you know how that shit goes) but right now, my world is great. i'll be able to tell more after i make that hour trip to work & see how the boot is.
i'm in the middle of what turned out to be a football party. lucky, my younger sister, and her friend bashfull (which shes NOT) showed up to meet up with sonny, honey & their neighbor adam to watch the game. turned out we have a housefull & never made a plan for any of it. good thing i went to the grocery store & stocked up. this was supposed to be a bad week with the weather. there was a really bad storm working its way through heading right for us. we got the wind & some of the rain but the snow & sleet skipped us altogether. (thank you jesus) tuesday night i got very little sleep due to the wind that whipped through. for some stupid reason my back door refused to stay shut. all night long i kept having to get up to shut the damn thing. i've never had that happen before & it hasn't happened since. scared the shit out of me the first time it happened. it was about 9:00 pm & we were all sitting in the living room when it yanked open & slammed against the house. the dog nearly jumped out of her skin, running down the hallway barking like a banshee. buddy, if it was something she was gonna get it. her hair stood on end for the rest of the night cos she was sure someone was coming in that door. you ever tried to make a dog understand the wind? the only thing she knows about the wind is when shes in the car with her head out the window it makes her happy. it would have been funny if i hadn't been trying to get some sleep. hubby was up for the first time but let me tell you when that man lays his head down he's OUT!! he didn't hear another thing till i woke him about 4 am to make him go do something. he slammed it & guaranteed it would not come open again but within about 35 minutes it started all over again. needless to say he slept through that again. i finally jammed a metal strip in the chain that holds it to keep it from opening all the way & gave up on trying to keep it shut. wasn't enough room for anyone to get through the door & that was good enough for me. it did get cold but a few more blankets took care of that. believe me when i say not even the dog got out of bed after that. oh, the breaker kicked off, too. i didn't mention that yet did i? yeah, off & on until it finally blew a breaker in the box. the next morning it turned out 52 thousand homes was without electricity. i had electricity through most of my house just the lower half of the plugs weren't working & the heater. so the rest of the week will consist of stress testing everything in my life to see what each & every thing can withstand. there will be no more nights without heat for this bitch.
later.

A Special Birthday Note To My Son

now, i'm a day late but it still means the same. i wasn't a day late with the celebration or anything like that. just the posting of those events. yesterday was sonnys birthday. i really surprised him this year. he most certainly didn't expect the cake & ice cream let alone the huge 'happy birthday' banner & balloons. everyone beat him into the house & as they walked in i whispered, 'shhhh, just sing.' so as he came in we broke into the birthday song & you could tell by the embarrassed look on his face that he was surprised. it was his 33rd & i think it was the first time i've ever really surprised him. this time i didn't tell anyone what i was doing. i just did it & waited till they all walked in to let the cat out of the bag. otherwise these loose tongued hooliegans can't keep their mouths shut. my lil sis pj is the worst for that. you could never keep a secret if she knew anything. she would shout it from the rooftops before she would keep it to herself. like she would explode if she couldn't tell first. ixxie is the same way. she just can't keep her mouth shut. we had fun but him & honey took off pretty fast to enjoy their private time if you know what i mean.
to my special son: i would like to say 'i love you'. i hope you have a hundred more birthdays & may every one of them bring you a wonderful surprise. you have always been a special gift to me & i've cherished every day of our life. i've always been sorry that your dad couldn't be around to see what a wonderful son you are. what a wonderful person you are. how much like him you've turned out. he would be so proud of you. you are a credit to who i am because of your sweet, caring soul & your giving heart. you continually make me proud. not to mention the grandchildren you have given me to fill my heart & my life. without you my life would have been empty. i thank god everyday for the precious gift he has given me. both in you & now your children. i pray that god will always bless you & you will always know how much i love you. happy birthday, spud.
love , mom.