Mechanical Malfunctions

its been a very wet & cold nasty season around here. one day its snowing 3-6 inches & the next day its raining a couple inches with sleet & hail in between. maybe mother nature needs to get off the rag. makes for some really hairy driving & you all know how i feel about driving in this shit. not to mention the colds, sneezing & achiness that goes along with the constant weather change. as a matter of fact its been so bad that i think my car has even caught a bug from all the inclement weather. namely, her brain boxes have lost all control. what would you think? just recently some of her symptoms have gone from locking up to not locking at all. lights that work one time not working the next. windshield cleaners that work after you shut the car off. weird. thats all i can say is just weird. check this out…used to be when i hit a certain speed my car doors would lock automatically. lately, when i open the door & the interior light comes on…the doors lock. not in motion yet…that shouldn’t be happening. its also not a good idea when i get out of the car & the light comes on. i locked myself out a few times when it first started happening. you know first thing in the morning you fire up the car to warm it up & not realize the damn door locked behind you getting out. remember, the cars running. where are the keys? right, if you answered in the ignition. ok, no biggie. everyone has an extra key, right? RIGHT? nope, not me. i glued that fucking light button down in the door as soon as i got home from work. that isn’t gonna happen again anytime soon. super glue eventually wears out. right? and hey, i could’ve used duct tape! well, when the locking situation got under some kind of control the next thing was the windshield cleaning button. normally i push this button & the window washer fluid shoots up the windshield & half way across the roof while the wipers do a 2 swipe scan across the windshield. which was really cool considering all the big rigs that throw all that slushie crap all over. my car looks like a nasty turd with the dried white crust all over the outside of it. last wednesday i pushed the button for my windshield cleaner & i got nothing. no cleaner shooting up, no wipers crossing the windshield. nothing, zip, nada, NOTHING! i turned the wipers on & they were fine but no fluid. what the crap? i can just barely see out of the shitty windshield & now it decides not to work. ok, maybe it was frozen. i know windshield fluid is not supposed to freeze but with the windchill factors we were having some pretty cold days so, maybe?? when i turned my car off after i got to work & didn’t need to see where the fuck i was going anymore. you guessed it, the windshield cleaner shot up & the wipers kicked on. eureka! i could see again. hey, even from the outside in. we’re going into the flooding season. everyone stay tuned for what the bug does in the water. i can’t wait to see what the next development will be. who knows? maybe she’ll float. if she flies…i quit driving.
later.