What Makes You?

well, we're coming up on the new year, are you ready? 2008 has been a tough year. it seems like everything that could go wrong has and to make matters worse having strep throat the last few weeks has been no fun. i don't know what 2009 will bring but here's hoping for a better way of life & an easier path to travel. for the most part the posts i've read lately all read like obituaries. gloom & doom seems to be the theme for the new year. i can't go into a new year with that outlook. so, i'm hoping to bring some cheer into the blogworld. who could not react to a beautiful young child that loves everything about his world? he thinks he's the luckiest kid in the universe & wants to love everybody in it! he gives hugs, kisses & smiles freely.
doesn't this make you smile?

he has his whole life ahead of him & i want it to be a wonderful life. i wish for him all the happiness for the rest of his life that he holds in the wonder of those beautiful blue eyes today. and i'll never forget taking this pic when i asked 'hey, dom, do you love me'? i snapped this as he was saying, 'i love you with my whole heart, mamaw'! he makes my world perfect.

and how about this gorgeous family? baby kb has that mischevious look of 'what can i get into today' swirling through her head. she's learning to sign as she learns to speak. she snags your heart when she signs 'please' for a cookie or 'thank you' when you give her a kiss. she's walking all over her new world & loving every minute of it. all stairs in her world are an adventure that she must conquer, not an obstacle. i wish for her & her family a long life of loving & learning together. of conquering the world with the enthusiasm that she tackles those stairs. may there always be bright stars in their lives that shines like the twinkle in her eyes.

theres another wish i'd like to make tonight. i wish, for all of you, to find what makes your world perfect. hold it near & dear to your heart. depend on it. count on it like you've never counted on anything.

around the corner is a new day, a new year & a new hope. reach for the stars my friends. i'm sure you'll find something wonderful too.

later.

December 25, 2008

merry christmas to all
&
to all a good night.

Living On The Edge

yeah, i feel alot better. today is the first day i've actually felt human. i've been doing a salt water rinse & gargle along with lots of antibiotics. it finally worked. through all my throat aches having to answer the phones hasn't helped but the work must go on. so i swallowed gently (impossible) & endured to just get through. i took off today through the weekend to give my throat some well needed rest. hopefully by monday i'll be back to normal & ready to tackle another few days. i also took off thur. & fri. of next week for new years & the dreaded birthday thingy. not related to the sore throat just to finish off the year in a lazy mood. i like working just 3 or 4 days aweek. i think everybody should only have to work a few days a week & be able to accomplish things like healing & gardening or whatever for the rest of the week. in my defense i'd like to mention that the gifts are all wrapped & the stockings are all stuffed so my christmas 'have to's' are all in order. now, i'm allowed to be lazy & sick.
tomorrow is christmas & i'll be spending that at my inlaws. friday we go to my mothers. sometime in between i have to let the kids open our gifts. that may have to wait till saturday morning. at least now i can give kisses without having to worry about sharing my strep throat & killing an undeserving family member.
uh um, mom, i'm not contagious anymore. now can i come get my christmas gifts?
later.

On The Brink Of Death

i think i have strep throat. my friend cookiebaby visited a few weeks back & she told me 'i hope you have a good immune system cos i think 2 of my rugrats have strep throat'. i didn't give it any thought cos i've never had it & figured i could fight whatever off. man, was i wrong. my glands have been so swollen that it hurts to even breathe, let alone sleep, talk, swallow or eat!
i mentioned to mom that i thought i might have strep throat & she said, 'that's dangerous. it could kill you & its really contagious. do you think you'll be okay for christmas?'. thanks alot mom. i really think i'll live but damn, i might not be able to swallow for a few weeks. maybe i shouldn't come for christmas? maybe nobody should get too close to me & by the way, thanks for the boost there. god only knows how we might cope. let alone my guilt if i visit for christmas & i contaminate anyone else. hello, get a grip & love me!!! i'm praying i don't kill anyone. if i do, i'm sure i'll pay for that one for the REST OF MY LIFE! needless to say, i'm medicating myself & i have a doctors appointment for the 5th of january. if i live that long... you'll be the first to know.
later.

Visions Of Sugarplums Danced In Their Heads

sonny kept the kids this weekend. they are supposed to take them to 'breakfast with santa' & have their pictures taken with him. hubby & i are taking bets on it. i hate to be so negative but usually the plans with the kids get blown off for what ever the fuck else comes up for sonny or honey. its usually honey & her agoraphobic hangups. she doesn't really suffer from this. she's really just a bitch & this is her way of getting what she wants. if she doesn't want to go someplace she uses this but by golly if she wants to do something theres no phobia mentioned to be worried about. not to mention, she's never had an attack of any kind. she just spouts the agoraphobia when she doesn't want to do something. when it comes to visiting her parents or a friend she's fine. correct me if i'm wrong but panic attacks don't disappear cos its something you want to do. either you can or you can't leave the house. right? i remember seeing a movie once that everytime the person tried to leave their house the walls started closing in on them, the floor pitched & they got so sick to their stomach they passed out. to me, thats agoraphobia. as a matter of fact, lately the phobia hasn't been spouted so much as now she has seizures. another condition that only she knows about. nobody has ever seen her have one but after knowing her for 6 & a half years 'oh, yeah, i suffer from seizures'. oh yeah, she suffers from assholitis is my opinion.
sonny is no angel in this department, either. his big thing is everytime he does take honey anywhere she shows her ass so he'd rather avoid the situation by blowing off what ever they've promised the kids. for instance, they took the kids to the zoo one day while i was working. on the way to my office two women were checking sonny out as they were coming through the parking lot & honey started yelling across the lot at the women about why they were checking out her man. one of my coworkers hearing this going on said to me, 'she asked them if they wanted to take a picture so it would last longer & then she'd break their heads with the camera'. i was horrified & glad they decided to turn around & go home. another time they went to a fair & sonny ran into some kids he had attended high school with & she created a scene over the girls in the group. again instead of ignoring her sonny packed them all up & took them home. can you imagine being a kid that finally got to go to the county fair after being promised for weeks they would, actually pulling up, getting out of the car thinking 'oh yeah, we are here, what could go wrong now & then nope. mommy showed her ass again & we're going home.
we took the car to sonny today & yep, they didn't make it to breakfast with santa. turned out sonnys partner showed up last night with a couple bottles & they got drunk instead. i said to sonny, 'you what? sonny you have 365 days out of the year to party with your friends & you can't take ONE day off to do something with your kids that you promised them to do? you two suck as parents'. 'so, is there another day that you can have breakfast & take pictures with santie'. he didn't know but promised they'd come through if there was another chance. yeah, when hell freezes over. i guess its up to hubby & i again. i wish i'd had the kids this weekend. today it got up in the 50's & would have been a great night to take them to santa's village at the zoo. we've got the only pics taken of them with santa & i guess thats the way its gonna be for the rest of their lives. if they get to do anything memaw & pappaw will take them. and we don't fuck around!
later.

Chains For Safety

you know, its way too early to be this cold. although, the cold i can handle. its the snow that puts me in a tizzy. no, thats not true, its the freezing snow that puts me in a tizzy. it does things to my heart. like unnatural palpatations & irregular beating. when i get in my car to make that hour drive to work & my tires aren't whats turning my car...i start freaking. i have way too many hills & curves to negotiate to not have traction. what ever happened to global warming? i thought by now we were supposed to have florida weather & our weather was supposed to have moved up towards canada. i think someone misfigured. or when they took our aerosol canned goods away it also changed the path that global warming was supposed to take. damn ecologists. no, i shouldn't joke about global warming. its a serious problem & we should do everything we can to prevent it from happening. but have you read that in the latest findings the changes in the way land is used could contribute to global warming as well? seriously, every change we make, whether its for the good of the people or the good of the land, seems to be contributing to global warming. or have some detrimental effect on the earth. people, i think we're just screwed. and i know when it comes to driving in the snow, i, in particular, am screwed to the fullest extent of screwdom. you see, i've spent my entire life being convinced i'll die in a car accident. i've had nightmares about this. i've had one recurring nightmare of my car flying through the air in slow motion in a circular motion but i never land. they say if you die in your dreams you die for real. thats why my car never lands. cos i'm still alive but the dream is so real i've accepted that is my fate. i'm probably gonna fly off one of the hills i drive during a snow storm & my car is gonna twist in the air until i land & thats what will kill me. the landing. i think i'm losing my grip. see thats what winter does to me. it makes me freak out over the stupidest things. this weekend i'm taking my car to sonny for some winterization maintainance. i wish they still allowed chains on tires. i'd feel alot safer if i had a chain on my tire to drive in the snow. did they outlaw those or did someone just tell me they outlawed them? i remember when i was a kid seeing cars with chains on the tires but i haven't seen them in years. i'm gonna have to research that. i know studs are only allowed during certain months but i really don't know about chains. maybe i don't have to die in a winter car wreak after all.

Starship Log 2069

hubby is watching 'victoria secrets' on tv. save me, please. someone needs to send the mother ship for me right away. you don't know probing until hubby gets to it. the probing will be more than i can take if i stay here. please, please, someone take me away!!!
later.

Surfing Without A Net

good evening friends. i am happily coming to you without my internet service provider. and you know it is wayyy faster. i surf the net occasionally just to see what new technology is out there. one of the things that always pissed me off was my isp would disconnect me after 4 hours. if you pay for the service i don't think they should take the liberty to decide when you should get off their bandwidth. i used the free internet at first but then, when i realized i wanted to be online for more than 10 hours a month, i upgraded. i didn't take advantage of them. i never went over the allotted time. if they didn't want me to use their damn bandwidth they shouldn't have taken me as a customer. (i'm sorry but the damn link won't work in this post & i don't know what i'm doing wrong. so if you click the title up there maybe that'll work.) their homepage always had all these flashing advertisements that crippled the shit out of my pc. i could click a link & walk away for 10 minutes & still not see the site. i never actually timed that so i may be exaggerating a little. sometimes i get pretty impatient waiting so it seemed like forever, though. i've been thinking about eliminating their dialup software since i found the site & have been putting it off. till tonight when my homepage froze almost immediately. that was the straw that broke this bitchs back. i'd had all i was gonna take of all that stupid useless advertisement. who wants a dancing fucking spiderman & flashing netflix crap tying up their computer? not me, for sure! i've got too many cool things to do to bother with freezing pages & having to do the 3 finger salute to get my pc going again every few minutes. so now, i just sign in through my internet connection which i sent a shortcut to my desktop for & i'm a much happier surfer. you can bet i'm gonna share this with all my friends. they already think i'm a computer goddess & this will just confirm their assumptions. we, the poor people, must stick together in screwing the big corporate asshats that think they can outsmart us.
huh?
later.

Checking In

i knew i'd be back too late for thanksgiving wishes. i'm glad i did it in my last post. we spent friday with hubby's family & had a great time. mum always does a huge spread including hors' dourves. she always lays out shrimp, humus, cheese spreads, spinach dip, candies, homemade breads & cakes, and this year she did a new dish called pumpkin fluff served on cinnamon graham crackers that was to die for. the pumpkin fluff was made with whipped cream & pumpkin spice. the cinnamon graham crackers made it!! i was super careful & didn't splurge but i tasted some of everything.
we had our own dinner too, with lucky, sonny, honey & the kids. ixxie was beside herself with so much food. she told me she was in 'food heaven'. she was serious! she emptied her plate & asked for seconds & thirds of some things. my favorite is always the broccoli casserole. besides the turkey, that is. i've always loved turkey & its not bad for me. guess what i'm feeding on this week for lunch?
did you hear about the horrendous shoppers out on black friday? i mean, one story i heard out of ny, a temporary was literally trampled to death.
can you imagine being the parents of a young man that took on a temporary job for the holidays as a sweeper & you get the news that they were trampled to death? what a horrible ordeal for that family. what a horrible way to die. kind of makes me glad i don't have the money to shop. besides i'd never act like that in public & don't care what sales are out there. thats just crazy. normal people just don't run over each other. whatever product they bought at that sale couldn't be worth a life. maybe thats just me but i wouldn't be able to look at it without remembering that someone died while i was in the mad rush to get it.
my younger sister, nipper, skipped it all & flew out to vegas for the weekend. now i'm hearing that the weather may be extending her trip. i don't know if i'd complain about being stuck in nevada. sounds like a godsend to me. she's a workaholic so the break will be good for her. she's such a sweetie & her company doesn't appreciate her like they should. course, i don't think any of us are actually appreciated like we should be, though. but again, maybe thats just me.
so anyway, its back to the grindstone for me after a 4 day weekend. and my weather person is calling for the nasty 's' word. i'll be glad when winter is over already. i hate that white shit.
later.

Changes! They Are A Coming

the scales are reading 38 pounds lighter. my pants are in the process of getting taken in. even my underwear is falling off. plus, i've bought some new clothes that fit me. i'm feeling good. for the last week i've kinda slacked off on the dieting. some things are just too good to pass up & frischs fish sandwich was one of them. its best when its dripping tartar sauce & lettuce off the edges. num-num. if you have a frischs or big boy
in your area you know what i'm talking about. i passed 2 before i started thinking about it & by the time the third one came up i couldn't say 'no' anymore. i mean when you pass your favorite restaurant 3 times...well, you know the old saying, 'third times a charm'. i also made some banana pudding with vanilla wafers for lucky on sunday & i indulged in that. not overboard indulging. its not like i've pushed my luck & gained any weight back. i've just eaten some of my favorite things this week. i'm sticking with the exercise & my weight has been pretty stable. with thanksgiving coming up i know i'm gonna give in to some turkey & mashed potatoes with stuffing on the side. after that its back to eating right & watching my calorie intake. i'm figuring if i give myself a break once in a while it won't seem like i'm on a friggin diet for a lifetime!!
jammer was in a thanksgiving play this week. he had two lines he said all by himself & then 2 lines he said with the class. i worked with him all weekend to learn his lines & finally by sunday when i asked him to say his lines he said, 'memaw, this is like the 59th million time'! yeah, he was right. it seemed like i asked & asked him to repeat them but he said them without a hitch.
he's learning to read & write too. i think its all too cute. he's learning more & more all the time. he's always trying to use new words. earlier in the day he had been practising his writing & when ixxie made him move he looked up at her & said, 'oh no, now you broke my contract'. 'wait, memaw, thats not the right word, is it'? ixxie piped in with 'i think you're looking for the word....ummm'. (cos she's a know it all & has to always put her 2 cents in before she thinks)...'i don't remember the word, either'. i told him they were both looking for the word 'concentration'. jammer said 'yep, thats the word'. ixxie said, 'no, i don't think thats it'. grrr. how can you teach one that thinks she knows everything? you know i feel sorry for ixxie. i was doing the math & her mommy had her first baby when she was only 14 years old. i don't think ixxie had a shot from the beginning. she's got her mothers stubborn know it all attitude & she's already boy crazy. thats 2 strikes & well, like i said, i don't think she's got a shot. third times a charm...3 strikes & you're out...however you want to put it...it applies to ix. i've been preaching college till i'm blue in the face & her response is she doesn't even like school, except for the boys. is it any wonder i'm coloring my hair?


which i did btw. i'm now a redhead.
what do you think? oh, & can you tell i've lost weight. am i on the verge of being a goddess or what?
psyche!!! (snort..snort) i'm just giving myself a little nudge in the right direction. hell, you could help. tell me how great i'm looking!!!
and in case i don't make it back beforehand...
'happy thanksgiving everyone'.
god bless & safe traveling.
later.

Living The Blessed Life

i do have a guardian angel. she watches over me every day of my life. a perfect example of this was wednesday when my brakes went out on a hill. i was coming up to a light & hit my brakes to stop but nothing happened. all i could think was oh shit!!! my heart went clear up to my throat then dropped to my feet. i was so scared so fast i thought i was gonna pass out. my head actually felt woozy. that can't be good for my heart. i pulled into the parking lane & (thank god there was no cars) coasted to a stop. if i'd been going any faster i'd probably be dead right now. i called hubby & told him what happened so he wouldn't worry about me. i was definitely gonna be late. i had just had my back brakes changed over the weekend. we had backed the car up several times & slammed on the brakes to adjust them. little did we know that the bleeder pin had snapped in the process. it had been leaking brake fluid all over the place. something i hadn't noticed until after the fact. now, everywhere i go that i've been parking in i'm seeing dark spots all over the ground. including my own fucking driveway. how could nobody notice that? hubby walks out through the driveway everyday to go with his dad. wouldn't you have thought seeing the wet spots might have dawned on him that something was leaking? i think if i'd walked through without the car parked there i would have noticed. since i'm a creature of habit i always park in the same place & therefore the spots were always under the car. i hate to think i have to get down on the ground & look from now on to make sure there aren't new wet marks but by golly, i guess thats what i'm gonna be doing for at least the next few weeks. i kinda value my life like that.

My Precious

most dogs are good dogs they're just majorly misunderstood. everybody knows a puppy is gonna chew & an old dog is gonna sleep. the old saying that you can't teach an old dog new tricks just isn't true. you can teach an old dog new tricks, if you're very patient, but the problem with that is their brain is so feeble that for every new trick they learn an old one might escape out the holes in their head.
i've told the story of ms. m many times over. she's a sweet dog especially considering the start to life she had. she does the normal, sit, stay, lay tricks. one of her speciality tricks is giving high fives. something i've taught almost every dog i've ever owned. its a cute trick & i love it.
one of the cutest things she does is when she wants to beg for something she steals your heart by high fiving at you. she just starts waving her paw in the air while she stares at whatever food you have. something else i think is adorable is when she wants 'lovins' she comes to me & bends her head down for kisses. i kiss her on the top of the head & she's happy. i'm not sure but i think she learned that from mr. p. he always laid his head against my cheek until i turned to kiss him. he could take kisses all day long. ms. m gives me the impression she knows when hubby & i are arguing, too. i swear the dog speaks english. the other day, hubby & i were in a heated discussion & he was getting under my skin. i was getting pretty upset & said to her, 'mousey go over there & lick daddys ass for me'. she walked over to him & politely licked him across the face. i'm telling ya the dog knows her english better than i do. or she knows something about body anatomy i don't. or she considers him as much an ass as i do. whatever! good girl.
later.

It 'Runs' In The Family (Pun Intended)

y'all know i've bitched about constipation for awhile. this medication the doctor has me on hasn't helped in that area at all. when i mentioned this to the dr. do you know what he told me? eat more fiber. does a salad a day plus 2 vegetables & at least, 2 fruits count as enough fiber? i bought metamucil to help but omg does that stuff taste nasty. its all i can do to choke it down. i bought some tea bags to mix it with but i can't find the time to fix tea every day. how do english people find the time for tea time everyday? honestly, give me a cold diet soda & tea is the last thing i think of. besides i hate what it does to your teeth. smoking is bad enough on my teeth. i've decided to make a pitcher of tea & just heat individual cups in the microwave to help me remember to drink the met-a-shit stuff. hopefully that'll work for me. all this constipation worry makes me think about my grandma. i remember a little trick my grandma used to tell me. she'd say just take a little sliver of soap & stick it up there. then you can squeeze it out with your fingers. something i've never considered doing but i hadn't thought of grandma for awhile. so at least the problem made me remember grandma & that she wasn't always the wisest woman in the out house. grandma had full blown diabetes 1. she had to take an insulin shot everyday of her life. i know she ate right in the morning cos i was the one that stopped by her house every morning on my way home from my 3rd shift job to make her breakfast & give her the insulin shot. i'm not sure how she ate the rest of the day but grandma had issues. she loved candy & always had some stashed somewhere on her person. grandma owned a 3 story house with a full basement. so besides what she carried in her pockets she had lots of places to stash shit & she was a packrat, too. i used to have nightmares of crawling through the walls of the house cos you couldn't walk through the rooms & her second floor was haunted. i remember her trying to break her candy habit with the diet candies called 'aids'. i don't know if you remember those but they were like caramel squares & they were a diet aid. back then. i never saw grandma eat the diet candy but if we ate any she sure as hell knew they were missing. in the end, grandma couldn't hardly see & when they started fighting her gangreen they cut her toes off first. then the top half of her feet. from there they moved up to her knee & finally to the thigh. mom moved grandma into the house with her so she could look after her. by then grandma had lost both her legs & honestly, i think she was losing her mind too. grandma always complained that she had to shit. mom bought her milk of magnesia cos being diabetic they didn't want her to take alot of laxatives with all her other meds. grandma also had hemorroids. i know that doesn't help when you have bowel trouble. lifting grandma around wasn't much of a problem. she weighed next to nothing without legs but she drank the milk of magnesia like it was the candy she couldn't sneak anymore. so everytime you picked her up she would shit all over. not 2 minutes later she would tell you she had to shit & all day & all night she would announce throughout the house, 'oh lord, i have to shit'. so, see, it does run in the family. i just don't want to have to lose my legs so my granddaughter has to lift me to shake the shit out of me every day.
later.

Cloning

we visited with my aunt this week who was in from florida. i took the kids with me & when jammer walked in she said, 'is this sonnys'? i couldn't help but ask 'how did you guess'? having jammer is like raising sonny all over again. he's an exact clone. he couldn't be more like him if he pulled him out of his ass and i'm not just talking about his looks. his thought process, the way he uses his hands, the looks he gives me, the way he pouts & gets his way with me are all the same. right down to the things he plays. sonnys favorites were farm animals with fences & barns, gi joes, matchbox cars & wrestlers. oh my god, how he loved the wrestlers. the kids in the neighborhood would get together in the front yard & play wrestling. they'd give each other the chance to power drive them into the ground. they'd clothesline each other & giggle like crazy. jammer doesn't have the matches in the front yard that daddy had but they still compare favorites & talk the wrestling crap or gi joes that daddy talked. everytime we go to the store he makes me invest in as many gi joes as he can talk me into. usually winding up with at least 2 new men a week. i know, i'm a sucker. the worst part about that is i have to invest the same amount in ixxie everytime i give in to jammer. sometimes 10 bucks isn't all that much but damn, sometimes its the last 10 bucks i have in my pocket. in cleaning out the shed we found a shitload of sonnys old gi joes & jammer about had a heart attack! it was like christmas in july. (wait for it, i'll get back to the wrestlers in a minute) some of the men were so old & abused that they broke immediately. again with the heart attack. you would have thought his world was coming to an end!! he just couldn't believe that his newly founded treasures were crapping out on him. he brought the broken men to me & begged me to fix them 'memaw, you can save them, can't you'? he had every confidence in me. i couldn't let him down so i got my handy tool kit out & went to work.

Afterall, i'm the memaw & i can do anything, right? we popped some popcorn & cracked open a few beers & went to work... lining up the men in question.

there were parts all over the place & we had to match them up before we could start. i don't think you can tell by

this picture but i had asses & legs everywhere.

if you look really close theres a screw in the back of every gi joe. if you screw that out you'll find a stub that you can wrap a small water gasket around then loop it down over the hook connecting the legs that feeds into the torso. put everything back together & viola! you have a fixed gi joe!!

of course, i had help. jammer was very interested in how the fixing process went so he watched every move i made & collected the men as fast as he could we they were fixed. he was also right there helping me to match the pieces together. god forbid i matched anything up that didn't go together. you know, as talented as memaws are they are still capable of making mistakes & he wasn't gonna let that happen.

he was so intent on matching pieces he didn't even realize this pic was taken. he lined the men up on the table with torsos & legs that he wanted to go together. without knowing what went together he did a pretty good job of setting them up for me. every now & then i had to check with him that he really wanted these green legs with this pink woman & he'd correct the setup he had. we worked on the men for about 2 hours. after each man he would give me a big hug & kiss to encourage me to go onto the next. i had to get my glasses & have several beers to get through the whole mess but in the end we were quite pleased with our selves.

he made me show each one & get a pic with it when i finished. for prosterity of course. he also made me promise i'd blog about it all so we could save the memory of the night. the kid was really excited to get all those new gi joes. in the end we would up fixing a total of 13 men. i got lots of hugs & kisses & jammer lined them up to show all his new men.

i'm not sure where number 13 went but i know there was 13 when we finished. oh, snap, now i remember! number 13 was helping jammer take the pic.
and for the 'piece de' resistance'!! the television is advertising a wrestling ring with all the new wrestlers that jammer screams everytime it comes on tv....'I'M GONNA GET THAT FOR CHRISTMAS'!!.

later.

To The End

well, all thats left is the counting. hooraaayyyy! i don't think i've ever been so glad to see an election end. this one has been long & brutal. all the slurs & kniving going on with the commercials. shheesshh. right now we're watching a neil young 'heart of gold' tape. i'm just bored enough with the election that i'll wait till all the votes are counted to find out who the new president is.
yes, i did my voting today. did you? not being politically inclined i just did my voting & got the hell out of dodge. some of my co-workers & friends took it all a few
steps farther than that. to the point of not making it to appointments, meetings & work. hell one of them got to work & had to go home cos they were so hung over. lets face it...if you have to spend more time in the bathroom than at your desk...you don't need to be there & you've probably overdone it a tad.
i hope the next 4 years go as well as that vote went for him. he's got a major job ahead of him. and my money. i hope i can keep more than he decides to give away. so, here's to our new president!!! may he be a good one. with the reports i've heard hopefully he'll live through the next 4 years. i don't want to sound like a crazy but wouldn't that be a shame?
PS...did i mention what a historical event this all was? WOW!
later.

Priceless

they were playing on the jungle gym. they decided to play catch but ix was the only girl in the mix & the boys tended to chase each other rather than pay attention to her. she did everything in her power to get the boys attention. which is normal for ixxie. she loves to have the boys chase her. pappaw says she'll be pregnant by the time she's 12. i'm beginning to believe he may be on to something.
hey, yooouuuu caaaan'tttt caaatch meeee! (in a sing-song kind of voice)
hey, iii'vvve gooot your guuun! (again with the sing-song voice)
hey, catch me!! (rather demanding voice)
hey, i'm faster than you, naaanner, naaanner!!
hey, dickhead!!!!!
Jungle Gym: $150.00
land payment: $312.00
look on her face when she realized Pappaw was standing in the doorway watching her every move: PRICELESS
where do they learn this shit? when i asked her she said 'the kids at school yell it all the time'.
when asked if she didn't know better than to call another kid a dickhead? 'yeah, but i didn't know you were listening'.
what to do?
i think i need to invest in dish liquid....for mouth washing. thats what my mom would've done to me.
later.

Shaking Hands With The Devil

our guide was a ninja complete with black outfit & mesh facemask. we couldn't make out his face but he assured us he was our friend & was there to protect us. he explained as we walked down the gravel path that this was a facility for the people condemned to life in prison..for the mentally insane. their crazyiness was contained within the walls of the cages that we would be privvy to. (actually we were in the kennells of the animal hospital) he went on to inform us that they couldn't reach us so we were quite safe but they would beg us to help them...to be prepared.... and it was haunted by his former director that died while being tortured by the inmates after they captured him one evening. jammer was completely taken in. ixxie was a little uncertain but both were being very brave in the beginning. our guide lead us through tunnel after tunnel of inmates screaming & kicking to be released. they were wild haired, wild eyed with blood everywhere. some were jasons, some were wild haired women with missing limbs, some were knife weilding maniacs, some were killer clowns, one was cutting off his own leg to escape. there was strob lights everywhere & really dark corners where monsters & killers hid really well. that damn ninja that was supposed to guide us kept disappearing on me & everytime he did another scary, bloody thing came out of the dark to get us! at the end of some of the tunnels were surgeons with blood & meat everywhere that came after us telling us this was one of the people from the last group that came through. it was fabulous!!! the minute we walked through the gate jammer started screaming he didn't want to go through. ixxie too. they wanted to turn back & get the hell out of, well, HELL!!!
we waited for the hayride while michael myers made his way through the crowd. jammer noticed him coming up & attached to my leg like he was stink & i was shit. the killer stopped at ixxie while she was busy yapping at pappaw & when she finally glanced around she found herself eye to eye with him which totally scared the shit out of her. she nearly jumped over pappaw getting away from him. after he left she said, 'that was totally uncalled for!' she dressed as a witch.
jason climbed onto the trailer during the hayride & freaked everyone out as he slashed his knife throught the air. jammer saw him coming & said to me 'that scary man is coming, memaw save me'??? he dressed as ZORO
he made me stop as we got off the hayride to thank the driver & make friends with him. the driver shook his hand & gave him a high five telling him how brave he had been. i don't think he was really watching when jason came up to us. he missed jammer clawing my arm off.
as we walked back to the car jammer saw jason again & pulled away from me to stop & make friends with him. he said, 'dude, if you promise you won't kill anyone else tonight i'll be your friend'. everyone got a big kick out of that. jason told jammer he was safe & he really wanted to be his friend so he wouldn't make anymore corpses tonight.
wasn't that sweet of the psycho?
later.

Deadly Cocktails Anyone?

i don't think i mentioned that the lisinopril i'm taking is a derivitive of snake venom? cos i'm sure if i had you would be freaking out just like me. i didn't know that until after i'd taken it for a week. i haven't had any of the symptoms of the snake venom except the fatigue & the racing heart thingy a few times. most people have reactions almost immediately so i think i'm fairly safe to take it for awhile. like i said though, i don't plan on taking it indefinitely & i don't care what a thousand doctors say. speaking of what doctors say, wouldn't you think they'd give you some indication of what the fuck is in the drugs they prescribe for you? i mean, i'm fairly certain i'm allergic to snake bites. i've never been bitten by a snake & i don't plan on ever being but he could have, at least, asked if i'd ever been bite by a snake & did i have an allergic reaction? that might have been important!
i'm almost afraid to look up simcor. god only knows what its made from. recluse spider venom? nothing surprises me anymore. i've had half a century to adapt.
later.

Waaahhh, Crybaby At Large

sorry for the awol!! i'm still here just been really busy. i've had a few more dr's appointments. honestly, i'm gonna quit going to him. everytime i walk in his office he finds something else wrong with me & wants to add another med to the list. i think he's paying me back for beating him at the diabetes game. i've lost almost 30 pounds & my blood sugar is reading fine now. he's decided i have high cholesterol & hypertension. he's put me on lisinopril for the hypertension & wants me to start taking simcor for the cholesterol. funny how i can take the lisinopril when its not supposed to be taken by diabetics. you'd think if i was prediabetic before i'd still be considered prediabetic even if i have the sugar count down? i'm gonna fight him on these things too. i have started taking the lisinopril & i'll take it till my blood pressure goes down & i'll probably do the same with the simcor. after i get all that down though, i'm gonna go off the meds & try to control everything with a healthy lifestyle. i'd fight him on it from the get go but i don't want to have a heart attack cos i was too stubborn to work with him. if it takes at least 6 weeks to get cholesterol down i'm afraid that might be pushing my luck. i think he gets a kickback from the drug companies if he makes me take their drugs. who are we to question them? what the heck do i know about doctoring? hell, the only thing i know about birthing babies is how to push!!
i have been reading you all. i've just skipped posting with my wahwahs. anyway, i'm still here & i'll be back sooner the next time. until then, miss me!
late.r

My Point In Life

it would be so nice to have the simpleness of a child. jammer was telling me about the school losing him. he had no fear but was having a great time in the new classroom. they were doing things his class wasn't allowed to do so he jumped right in clueless to the havoc his disappearance was creating. wouldn't it be nice to not have a care in the world? isn't it a shame that the first thing we think of is someone stealing our kids & taking them to do whatever ungodly thing that could be done to them? he lives in such a protected world where theres nothing more to worry about than getting to play with the new puppies or beating his sister to the playstation. i was so relieved that he was safe & thankful that he wasn't a victim of some horrendous crime that all i wanted to do was cry. and hug the stuffings out of him. this weekend i get to shower him with all the relief & huggins all by himself. i'm eating this time up! i love it when ixxie goes somewhere else for the weekend. her absence always makes such a big difference in the time we can spend with jammer. she's a very demanding little girl & way too high maintainance for her age. everything is a fight when she's around. she has to be first at everything & always the best!!! if you don't brag on her she goes off to cry or pout for hours. god forbid jammer gets a drink that she didn't get or an apple that she wasn't offered first. i don't understand why, her being the big sister, she isn't more thoughtful of him but she doesn't get why he's the one more babied. i can't get it through her head that he IS the baby. mommy & daddy will never have any more & he's my last chance at babying anyone. i'm sorry that she's not my baby. i'm sorry that she didn't know the love that jammer has known since birth but thats not my fault. she wasn't a part of our family when she was a baby. i don't point these things out to her because i don't want to hurt her but i can't change life. i can't change her life. i can change who she is by sharing my love with her now but i'm tired of taking away from him cos she didn't get to experience this from the get-go. i feel sorrier for jammer cos he's had to take a back seat to her for most of his life just because she was so screwed up when we first met her. now she's alittle older i'm trying to get her out of that demanding attention 24/7 & accepting that there are other people that need things too. and its jammers turn to be the main attraction. my main attraction! my last baby! my only grandson! and he is the apple of my eye. i'm not gonna apologize for that. to anyone.
later.

Stupidity 101

schools have hundreds of kids to look after. i'm totally aware of this. i sympathize with them for this. it has to be hard to keep up with an unruly bunch of kids yelling, laughing & chasing after each other. but when they do a bus evacuation drill i would expect the bus drivers, teachers & older students to be especially aware of where the kids are & where they end up. not to lose kids seems to be a reasonable thing to expect out of them. if i put my kids on a bus & trust you to take them to a designated place you better bet your sweet ass that i expect you to get them there without misplacing them. wonder why i'm ranting about this? guess! oh yeah, you know it!! the assholes lost my baby boy. for 3 hours!!! then called home to find out why he wasn't at school. they finally found him in another classroom where the teacher hadn't even noticed she had an extra kid. i've got to ask how stupid are these people? he's 5 & nobody knew where he was. thank god he turned up safe & sound but believe me it doesn't give me much faith in his school.
later.

Its The Big One

it just amazes me how fast time can fly. it seems like i just posted yet when i look at the date its been 7 days. well, when it comes to blogging the time flies. my work day seems to drag & the time between is never there. this week has felt like a month. its because i'm kind of excited to get to the weekend. i've got lots to do with rearranging, cleaning, winter clothes to swap out, honey do's that honey don't & junk like that. not having the kids this weekend was a sweet unexpected break that gives me some time to get that stuff done. the icing on the cake is hubbys parents are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, which i should attend cos 50 is a big one, but i can actually skip. i figure they have the rest of the family & especially the new grandbaby so i probably won't be missed. do i feel guilty? well, yeah, but i have so much to do that with hubby out of the house i can get down to & not have anyone under my feet while i do it. what do you think? if you could see my house it would help you make up your mind but its so filthy right now i'm embarrassed to show you. ok, to give you an idea i'll show you one corner of the living room. where all the junk has been piling this week while i do other things around the house. this: i will show you. its enough to make me cringe. that corner is full of so much junk it took 10 minutes to just upload the pic. usually i use the kitchen table as a catchall but of the things in this pic one is a new table for the microwave that wound up getting piled on & another is a new plant stand for the window that hubby went ahead & put together. which also wound up as a catchall for the time being. the kitchen table was spared but now i have 2 things to empty instead of my standard one, bar style, table. don't ever tell me i don't air my dirty laundry!!! my mother is holding her heart at this mess.

later.

Preservation

thanks to all of you that commented on my last post. some of it was fun. some of it was 'oh, yeah, i forgot to mention i'm doing that'. like parking farther from work & walking the extra distance. i also take my dog for a walk every night when i get home from work. i walk on the treadmill at least half an hour every night as well. i shop at least twice a week & women? they know how to spend some time when it comes to shopping. i can be on my feet walking for hours when it comes to shopping. during the warm days i was swimming for 2 hours a day but now thats gone so i've tried to pick up extra exercise where i can. i got a rope for jumping but i haven't started that yet. i'm almost embarrassed to jump my fat ass in front of my neighors. man, i don't think they deserve that. but then they might get a kick out of watching me black my eyes. you know, the boobs? they tend to bounce vigorously! i'm afraid to jump in my house. it might not stay standing & i know the things inside wouldn't survive. mostly, i was talking about detoxifying my body to, like, preserve it....for eternity or at least the next 80 years. cos thats what i want to live for, you know? have you seen some of the pics of older woman with all that sagging skin? its ugly. this is not what i expect to look like. i want to look good when i walk down the street. or beach. whichever. so, i figure if i start working on preserving me now i can skip the ugly old lady syndrome & just always be the beautiful, young looking, foxy thing that i've always dreamed of being. i've got 80 years to get there. i can do it, right? oh damn, i think i blew that pic up too big. you can't see it as well as i wanted you to. but you get the picture, right?
and while i'm talking about beaches i still have friends without power from ike. hubby went over & helped one plant a telephone pole tonight. when i say 'plant' i literally mean dug a hole, raised the 30 foot pole & set it in the hole. stamping the earth back down around it, watering in the planted pole & more dirt packed on top of that. the energy company still can't get to all the people. some of them have trees that pulled right out of the ground taking with them telephone & electric poles. have you seen any of the pics from the damage done by ike? i found these & thought i'd share with you: this is from the space hubble. one lone house left standing in gilchrist texas.

debri blown ashore in galvaston.

a man clearing a drain in the street.

i've seen some pitiful pics that i just couldn't bring myself to post here. but this is an inkling to the devastation from ike. 12 days later & there are still people without electricity clear up here in ohio so you have to know it was detrimental to the people closer to it. and we still haven't seen any rain. this is all gonna bite us in the ass years down the road still yet. we're still recovering from katrina. some of the people of louisiana aren't in their homes yet & now ike blows through & just creates more havoc. thank god he didn't hit louisiana like katrina did. even still doing some damage in parts of that state. galvaston didn't get hit as hard because of their levee but it was bad enough. i guess haiti lost a lot of lives too. just too much. i don't know how much more those poor people can take. or lose.
i've still trying to reach my friend texas tammi with no luck. i just pray she & her family are all ok.
later.

Turning Points

we all have times that we refer to as 'turning points' in our lives. i have several. i'm sure you do too.
when i was about 9 years old the first turning point was choosing to live with my dad instead of my mom. dad was married again while mom was still looking for mister right. i was brainwashed into thinking that my mom was too busy with her single life to raise kids. they convinced me that dad had more time & money to invest in my upbringing. they were right about the money but time? not. nobody mentioned love either. i was niave, not a deep thinker & the important things didn't come to mind. at that age i still took for granted that adults would make the best choices for me. notice 'for granted' is the operative words there.
the next was when i became pregnant with my son. i had to grow up pretty fast. yes, he was an unplanned event in that time of my life but no, i wouldn't change a thing and before anyone gets the wrong idea i was married but i did that too young as well. had i waited to get married i may never have had sonny. after all i waited to have a 2nd one & that never happened. timing IS everything & i don't care what anyone says.
the 3rd was when i lost my mom. i no longer had my best friend & confidante. that pretty much left me devastated.
4th was marrying my present hubby. i won't go into my situation cos that isn't the point i'm trying to make here. enough said?
the 5th was the birth of my grandson. that was when i decided it was time to take better care of myself & make sure i was around for the duration. i want to see him & my granddaughters grow up, get married & have kids of their own. i want to know my great grandchildren & i want a long, long life to enjoy that time.
which brings me to the point of this post. i've reached another turning point. last saturday, i lost another cousin. they say she died of a heart attack. she wasn't 50 yet. i started thinking about it & realized that not one of my cousins have lived past the age of 55. thats only 4 years away & i can't have that. it just doesn't fit into my plans. right now i'm thinking i'm looking death right in the eyes & its a mexican standoff. so, heres the plan. i've found a detoxifying recipe for my liver. i'll work on that tomorrow. i've also seen these patches that you can put on your feet for detoxifying your body. they're on my list of must haves. i've given up fats, which is most foods. i'm working on giving up alcohol & soda. give me a break. i can't give up everything at once. i have given up several sodas a day & now i drink more water than anything. cigarettes are on the list but i have to lose my weight before i can give them up. they tell me i'll gain at least 20 pounds when i quit so i have to lose a little more before i attempt that. after all if i only lose 25 & gain back 20 i'm fucked before i get started. other than going on pure oxygen & putting myself on a donor list for replacing everything in my body i'm out of ideas. if you have ANY ideas for me, PLEASE, don't hesitate to let me know. they say 2 heads are better than one so i'm thinking a whole village has to be great. all ideas are acceptable & if it sounds stupid its probably the one thing that will work. spit it out. speak up. remember, this is for my great grandchildren.
later.

They Dance For The Money

i'm the biggest loser in the whole world. i suck! where is my brain for the most important things that go on in my life? out to lunch, obviously. always, this time of year, our organization has its major fund raiser of the year. the black tie gala affair of the year that the whole tri-state attends. its the kick ass party of the year & what did i do? forgot my camera. stupid, stupid, stupid! it takes us 15 months to plan & we are constantly working on it in the background the whole 15 months. we choose a theme, plan the event, hire the band, arrange for the tents, set up air conditioners, set up heaters, set up backup generaters, engage chefs & restaurants, hosts & hostesses, rent accessories, make centerpieces, bring in photographers, send out rsvp's, assign tables, assign bid numbers, request contributions, collect contributions, pick up said contributions, hire bartenders, arrange for animal appearances, yadda, yadda, you get the point, we start from scratch & organize an entire event. and i forgot my camera. of all the things that we consider important, i forgot one of the most important items of the night. the saving it for prosterity, the capture of memories, the share all of the group that actually creates the entire event & i dropped the ball. yes, we bring in photographers to take pics but they never get around to us: the ones that actually pull the whole thing together. they take pics of all the action going on. i never saw one point a camera in our direction. i saw them carrying their equiptment around, with the tripods & the lens that were longer than my arm but never once did they point it at the people that make the event actually happen. oh well, i know & you know now. although we may never get credit for all the work, we were a major part of the most money brought in for the year. our animals never see where the money comes from but they live a better life for all our efforts. thats our contribution. thats our payoff.
and it was a really good time to be had by all. we got to see a lot of inebriated people, that tickled the hell out of us, spend a bunch of money on items that will support a lot of really good living for a great exhibit of animals. i love our zoo.
later.

Ike

ike blew through here with a vengeance...leaving 700,000 people without electricity. 700,000. thats a lot of people. we stood in the front yard & watched as trees, sheds, skirting, small dogs & debri whisked by us. it was frightening. the crashing sounds all around us & the electric kicking off & on. everyone i know lost power. the clouds were zooming across the sky as black as coal while it was full daylight. we kept expecting rain but that never happened. we helped neighbors snag their skirting & garden gnomes as they skipped across the yards. the winds reached up to 84 mph & our house literally rocked. not with fun. not with sex. just wind. ike was brutal. i can't tell you how many doors hubby knocked on to make people aware that their homes were falling apart. roofs blew off. we had an elm tree as big around as a car fall across the road blocking everyone in or out. i heard later that we had 3 deaths.
sonny came up to pick up the kids & had a terrible time getting here. there were power lines & trees all over the roads the entire way up here. he actually thought he was going to have to turn around & go back.
it was hard not to giggle with pure fright as i watched all the things fly by my head. folks, i was scared. honestly, theres not much that scares me but that was something i'll never forget. going to bed that night was even weirder. there wasn't a sound to be heard. not a car, not a cricket, not a tree frog, nothing, not even the breeze. it was total silence.
4 days later there are still lots of people without electricity. some with cars still sitting under down poles with live wires. my inlaws are still waiting for their electricity to come back. i heard on the news tonight that the police are arresting people for threatening energy workers. like its their fault. fucking rednecks. its all about them.
i know most of the people that comment here aren't from around here. i do have texas tammi that reads me. i have to visit & see how she's doing. anyone know people that were affected by ike? i hope they're all doing ok. we were lucky.
later.

On His Game

the marquee read 'baby openings'.
hubby said, 'isn't that called vagina's'?
sometimes i wonder about him. he just has a sick humor. course, thats what attracted me to him in the first place. too bad he's not lucid enough most of the time to entertain me like this. he used to be. when i first met him, he was always on top of his game. a quick thinker, entertaining & always quick with the wit. sick wit. quick sick wit. thats what attracted me. what does that make me?
a sick quick wit twit?
yeah, thats me.
later.

The Right Vote

tell me why the closer it gets to election day the more people think they're political genius'? i don't get it. people i never heard a word even referring to politics come out of their mouth & now all of a sudden they're experts. they try to tell me who to vote for & what their political stance is. i watch the news & i hear the speeches. so, why do they think they're gonna teach me something that i missed? even my mother is pumping politics down my throat.
i also hate the blame game the politicians all play. i hate the slander & i hate the digs they take at each other. i hate the stupidity that comes out of their mouth. i know one of them have to win but the way they go about slamming each other is just ridiculous. i wonder what would happen if a politician just decided to run on his own merits & not try to take the other one down with all the slander. i think i'd vote for him just because it would take a decent human being to just run for election. tell me what your agenda is & don't worry about the other guy. personnally, you'll impress me a lot more if i know you're just concentrating on yourself. why waste your money on commercials that tell us about the other guy? don't worry about the skeleton in the closet. we all know its there. you know, we people talk amongst ourselves. we find out about the thesis & the son in the army. we find out about the wives that go the extra mile & the candidate that was a pow. the news stories & the internet is out there for all of us to learn what we need to know. do they really think they're telling us something we didn't know when they accuse each other of the stupidity that is in their backgrounds? the associates they have or the friends they won't admit to now? why, why why do i have to listen to all the stupid shit, thats clogging each candidates brain, that has no bearing on what kind of president he'll be? obviously, they think we're a bunch of idiots & all we want is a bunch of gossip. not me. i just want a decent person in the house. we're talking history in the making & all they want to talk is smack! i want someone that wants what i want. i want low taxes, free healthcare, affordable housing, good relations around the world, to save the animals, work to save the trees & the ecology, no smog, cheap trash efficient burning cars, clean water, safe children, truth, liberty & justice for all, abundant fuel, abundant food, happy constiguents, safe driving & affordable insurance, free speech, no war, people you can trust with a gun, clergy we can trust, easy retirement, love your god, i want neighbors to look out for each other & i don't want no fucking rock throwing!!! play nice! and for gods sake don't mess with your neighbors wife. don't create skeletons & there won't be skeletons. fuck all this noise!
I WANT ME FOR PRESIDENT!!!!
i'll step away from the podium now. thank you for listening.

Our Grandparents Day

today we went to jammers school to do a grandparents day celebration with him & ixxie. it was a lot of fun & i was really proud to be there for them.
it was ixxies class we met with first. we had snacks & juice with her & she took us to her classroom to show us her desk & what her class was doing. she was so hyper i couldn't hardly get her to stand still for a pic. i did manage to get a few pretty good ones though. i just kept snapping till some came out good. she was so busy proudly yelling to all her classmates, this is my grandparents. (isn't she a cutie?) unlike jammer who sat pretty still with us & snacked on a cookie which he lost interest in pretty quick when we asked him to show us his classroom. he's never been one to want too much sweets. he'd rather have a banana than a cookie any day. his teacher seemed to be handling the day much better than ixxie teacher. i met ixxies teacher once when we were having the snacks but i didn't see her again the whole time we were there. jammers teacher came to us several times telling us how much she loved him & taking pics with him & of us. last year they made a dvd of all the things they did throughout the year & i'm sure this is gonna be part of that dvd at the end of the year. i'm gonna look like a cow but thats ok. i wasn't the fattest or the oldest grandparent there. i'm on a winning streak here people.
jammers teacher also made up a song about grandparents & the kids all sang it for us. then they sang the song 'you can' & i got that on video. one of these days i'll figure out how to upload that here & i'll share some of my videos with you. i have jammer saying the pledge to allegiance that is so cute you'll just eat it up.
happy grandparents day to those of you who are grandparents. the rest of you that aren't grandparents yet really have something to look forward to. you just never realize how much you're loved until you get to attend the celebration these little people set up for you.
later.

Momma Said

there'd be days like this. my momma said. remember that song? it fit my day perfectly.
i woke up late this morning. quickly threw my clothes on, brushed my teeth & headed out the door. my car wouldn't start. shit. so hubby took the battery charger out & got me started. i pulled out & my tire sounded funny. i stopped & got out to look at the tire. it was flat! shit, fuck! i had a can of fix a flat in the car so i put it in the tire & took off. i was running about 1/2 hour late by now. i stopped by the store & finished filling the tire up with air that cost me 75 cents. by now i was running almost 45 minutes late. that air compressor was the slowest running air compressor i've ever seen. i got about 10 miles down the road & the tire started sounding funny again so i pulled over in the first gas station i came to. the damn tire was flat again. shit, fuck, damn!! i called hubby & he & his dad came to my rescue. they took my tire up to the tire store to have it fixed. it couldn't be fixed so we bought another tire, took it back & put it on my car. i was off again. an hour & a half late but i was going! the day seemed to drag by which isn't surprising when the kids have all gone back to school & most memberships have been bought for the year until october when we start picking up for christmas gifts. i finally got ready to go home but again the car wouldn't start!!!! shit! fuck! damn! son of a bitch!!!! i walked up to the parking attendant & explained the situation to him so he called for the battery charger. i waited about 10 minutes for those guys to show up but instead of a guy it was a girl that brought the charger. she hooked the charger to the bolts on my battery & i tried to turn it over with no luck. i got out of the car & moved the connection to put it all the way on the post & when i lifted the cable the whole thing came away from the battery. the cable wasn't even tight on the battery! no wonder it wasn't starting. so i got a pair of pliers & tightened the cable down & tried the charger again. it fired right up. when i got home i convinced hubby to tighten the cable really good to make sure we didn't go through that again. he wasn't really happy with the job but it was better than having me quit my job. thats where my head was at by then.
so thats how my day went. how about yours?
later.

Beating The Odds

do you remember not too long ago i told you my doctor wanted to put me on not one but 2 medications for a pre-diabetic condition? i begged him to give me some time & let me research the meds a little before he just chose them & let me try to change a few things to, hopefully, not have to go on the meds at all. well, i've researched those meds extensively & i really don't want the added side effects that go with them. not to mention i'm a terrible pill taker. my birth control is a good example & believe me if theres any pill you really want to remember to take its birth control. although, by the end of the month i would usually have more left than gone. fot the most part when i do take a pill i have to gag it down. or up. whichever i can successfully do. anyway, i don't relish the idea of taking 2 pills till the end of my life or till i have to go on insulin. whichever comes first. i've been watching what i eat & trying to get as much exercise as i can & so far i've lost 25 pounds. thats been since july 12. i weighed me last weekend. which is about 7 weeks. if i could lose 25 pounds every 7 weeks for a while i'd be a happy camper. i think my doctor might be too. i don't own a scale so i have to wait till i get somewhere that does to weigh me. i've been checking my blood sugar level since then too. in the beginning i was registering 127, which is only slightly high but enough that he wanted to put me on meds. since then i've been having readings of anywhere between 90 to 127. the last few days its been under 110. i really want to beat this so if you have any ideas for helping me with getting my shit together give me a shout. i could use all the help i can get.
later.

My 'Eye' On Experience!

my last post was about a pitiful story of a dog that suffered a horrible trauma due to a dog toy. my own ms. m was one of the most pitiful stories i've ever heard. which is how i wound up owning her. i don't know if you remember but her owner had thrown rocks at her to make her stay behind while they drove off with their last load of furniture. leaving her to fend for herself. she was 6 months old & the vet couldn't believe she was still alive when i took her in. she had infections in both her vaginal & intestinal tracts. she was malnutrioned & suffered from terrible abuse. she had not been fed anything but what she scavanged from the trash & the fish head & scales that had been left in the yard after the neighbors had been fishing. she had been caught sneaking into a home to find food & kicked out of the door. down a flight of concrete steps then they followed her outside where she had not regained her footing yet & kicked down another 30 concrete steps to the street below. those were just some of the horror stories i had heard but the concrete steps was the last straw. i had been to the house a number of times trying to find out about her when i finally took a round up party with me. we managed to catch her & i talked to the neighbors to make sure all this was true & she was living the hell that i had been hearing. they all agreed that they had basically tried to kill her. you've seen her. she's about 10 pounds & stands about a foot tall. she's no menace!!! she's one of the sweetest most pitiful little dogs you'll ever meet. since i've had her i've tried to make her life as good as possible. as far as i'm concerned, loving an animal is a really easy task. now the only thing that still haunts her is the seizures she has due to head trauma from the fucking 30 steps.
i came home from work on tuesday & my precious dog was there at the door to greet me as usual. when i looked at her i noticed her pupil of her right eye was white. talk about freaking the fuck out. i thought, 'oh my god, is she going blind'? i grabbed her up to love her & the closer i looked the more i freaked! she had something stuck on her eye. i tried to move it but it wasn't going anywhere. i held her head really still & stared at her eye trying to decide just what it was. it looked like a bullseye! it turned out to be a sticker on the pupil of her eye & it was stuck good! i don't know how in the hell she got it stuck there but i sat her on the kitchen counter to figure out what to do next. she was so good & sat there so still. usually if i sit her on the counter for anything she has a fit & refuses to sit still but this time i think she knew she needed to be really still. maybe she was freaking out too because you have to know a sticker in the middle of your eye has to fuck with your vision. maybe she was praying as hard as i was that it was something minor that we could fix really quick. i pulled a paper towel off & tried to swipe it off her eye but that had no effect. hubby was down the hallway & i screamed for him to come help me. i decided to use my finger & try to pick it off. well, that really didn't work the way i thought cos, oh yeah, it moved but right into the corner of her eye. almost into the socket. what happens if something rolls around behind your eye? i wasn't sure but i didn't want to find out. so, i caught the corner of it with my fingernail & (as gently as i could) pulled it back out towards the center of her eye. then i just layed my fingers on her eye & pinched! i got it out & i can't tell you how hard my heart was pounding. i was never so glad to get something in my fingers. i'm beginning to think this poor dog just has a dark cloud. kind of like that character in the flintstones: Badluck Shleprock.
she's fine & loving all the attention she's getting but i don't think my heart will ever be the same. do you know what happens if something like that slips behind your eye? i don't & i'm glad i didn't have to find out.
later.

'Speak' Isn't Just A Doggy Trick

if you click on my title it will take you to a blog where there is a pitiful story. not due to mistreatment but due to love for the family dog. all the things you have to protect your animal from, now you have to research every toy you buy for them, as well. this story broke my heart & i'll be sending a letter to boycott this product. i hope you'll join me & make our voices heard.

Everyone Loves Me

i told you i'd show you pics of the twins. i got to see them on a weekend that i didn't have jammer & ix though. they were all sorry they couldn't spend time together but we all have to do what we can for now. at least i got to spend some time with them & let them know that we've missed them & how much we love them. keeping that door open is the most important thing for now. they are growing up way too quick

& i don't want to miss any more of their growing up than i have to. i wish we all lived closer but thats not gonna happen either. so for now i'll settle with whatever i can get. i'm telling you they couldn't hug me enough & if i heard 'i love you, memaw' once i heard it zillion times that weekend. they just can't love me enough. aren't they beautiful? i took hundreds of pics over the weekend & started cutting them down as soon as i got a chance so i could post them. of the last 3 weeks i've put together my computer, honey had messed up their computer so i worked on it for sonny & i have a friend at work that received games for for christmas but had no pc to play them on so i put one together for her too. i'm taking it to her tomorrow & i'm pretty excited to surprise her.

its not much. its an old workstation computer, it has a pentium processor & 64mb of memory. so, its enough for what she needs it for. the tower was empty except for a motherboard & power system & i scabbed the rest together out of parts i had hanging around. i've done this several times & i have no more towers to work with so she'll be the last one i can give a pc to but the ones i've given away has always been for a needy cause. mostly kids in the neighborhood that would've never had one. i got most of the towers from our it department at work. old workstations that were outdated. they stripped them & was throwing them out so i asked if i could take them off their hands. they were glad to get rid of them & i've used every one of them to make some kid happy. except this last one & i think my friends surprise will be the topping on my cake. my motto: nothing goes to waste.

later.

Gotta Love America

i'm not really happy with the new easyshare i downloaded with my camera. it saves the pics in a kodak album & they aren't easily accessed to add here. i'm still working on things though so please bear with me. i got my camera back from nipper this weekend & downloaded all the pics but i let the program do its thing. its always something.
we went to my brothers retirement party this weekend. he was a game warden. now his sneaking in the woods days are over. i'm kinda glad for him. it makes him less of a target. i always kinda worried about him out there in the woods with poachers & people trespassing. you just never know what people are capable of these days. i'm also very jealous. in case you need me to say that. i'm 3 years older than him & i have to work till 2021 to retire. shit lets face it: i may never get to retire. social security probably won't even be there when i'm ready for it. no i said that wrong. i'm ready for it today but it won't be there when i can take advantage of it.
and i wanted to point out that my title doesn't have anything to do with retirement. it was a statement jammer made this weekend. at the party everyone was picking on him over his hair. you've seen pics of his daddy & his long hair. jammer wants to start letting his hair grow. which i think he's too young for but i'm not his parent. anyway, i called his daddy & asked him if we talked him into it could we cut his hair. daddy said sure no problem. well, everyone made some kind of offer to get him in the mood but nipper hit the bullseye when she offered him money!!! he asked how much they were talking about & she said 20 bucks. he was in. it turned out that all the adults kicked in a dollar each for him & ix. they came up with $34.00 to split between them. i've got some video of the process & him flagging his money. he's got a death grip on it too. i'm gonna upload these pics & they may be big. don't shoot me, i'm new at this.

uncle warden checking for fleas. look at that look on jammers face. he found nothing funny about this. the thought of him having bugs did not tickle him at all. he didn't care how cute uncle warden thought he was being.

and then aunt pj got busy. once he got into the whole haircut thing he decided he didn't just want it trimmed. which is what i wanted him to go for. he wanted it shaved short. he said he wanted it like his cousin the jock that i call coach.

i mean when you're 18 & a senior jock on the baseball team & the football team plus you play for several other teams you can justify this haircut. besides its popular with the kids these days. but when daddy has long hair & you want to be like daddy this is not what you're going for. i told him it was really short & he assured me it was just hair & it would grow back. besides, as cute as he is he can pull off anything. not to mention he can fan himself with $17.00 he didn't have before the haircut.
he's a happy camper. he's telling uncle mailman all the things he can buy with his money. believe me, he has big plans for that little handful of money he has. i asked him what he thought after the haircut & he waved his money at me & said, 'you gotta love america'.
later...

Weekend Woes & Highs

i'm not getting my boy this weekend. his daddy is taking him hunting for crying out loud. i'm not really happy about this but theres not much i can do about it. sonny has been talking about this day since jammer was born. i wanted him to wait till he was 8 but sonny insisted he'd be old enough to start teaching when he was 5. i'm hoping jammer is too wiggly & talkative for this to continue. just my luck he'll turn out to be an excellent hunting buddy. both jammer & sonny are really excited about this weekend. its squirrel opening & sonny has been ready for it for about a week. he loves to hunt & helps to compensate their food supply for the year. they do eat everything he kills. for the most part they love the stuff. the kids love deer meat & sonny loves to experiment with recipes to make it taste better. i've never been much for the gamey taste. once when sonny's daddy was alive i went hunting with him. i made too much noise & found myself staring down the barrel of a gun. he told me if i didn't try to be more quiet he was gonna blow my head off. i thought he was really gonna do it when i shooed a deer off after we tracked him for about an hour. slick, sonny's daddy, was all ready to shoot that big ass buck when i yelled for him to run, shoo, run deer run!!!! i just love animals & didn't have the heart to stand & watch it get shot. slick took me home at a run & never asked me to go hunting with him again. think of all the deers i could have saved. he did wind up finding that deer later & took him down. he had the head mounted & it hangs in sonny's house to this day. it was a small buck, only 8 points but it was the biggest one he had taken at that point. he was so proud of that head & told the story over & over about how i scared him away but he still got him in the end. stupid buck.
so how do you all like the new blogger face? i've got so much to get used to with the new xp that blogger doesn't make much difference to me. i'm still finding the different add-ins to download so i haven't had much time to get into the xp. i've got plenty of time though so i'm not worried.
i haven't forgotten i promised pics of our graduation party. nipper still hasn't sent them to me. as soon as i get them i'll share them with you. i have some funny stories to tell about the night too so stay tuned. hopefully she'll get around to it this weekend.
oh, i almost forgot to tell you. i get the twins this weekend. i know you haven't heard much about them but thats because mojo hasn't allowed me to have them since christmas. i finally insulted her to the point that she responded & thats all i needed for an in. i'll be taking pics of them too. i can't wait to see how they've grown. you'll be seeing that too.
i'm gonna go watch wrestling now. pray for hubby. you know how i get.
later